Work Text:
At the end of everything, Himiko, Maki, and Shuichi plant twelve trees.
They own a quiet place, far away from the bustle of the city and the crowds. Someplace just for the three of them to live together, with the only people out here in this world who really understand them. Some days they make an effort, try to get the outside world to get it. Especially Shuichi. Shuichi's always working really hard.
Maki and Himiko spend more time tending the garden.
It isn't just the trees. There are plenty of vibrant flowers; herbs and crops, even. They're working on getting chickens now. Maki built a coop for them and everything. But for now, it's just the flowers, the herbs, and the crops. Himiko's given most of them about the right amount of water, so now she's sitting here, in her usual spot.
Each of the trees are supposed to represent one of the people who died in the killing game. They were careful about the placement of them. They didn't want to put anyone nearby someone they might not like to be sitting near. Placing Ouma was hard, but they managed it eventually. Not that Himiko really especially cares about where Ouma's tree is.
It's been a few years now, and Angie's sapling is growing up strong and healthy. It doesn't give any shade, but Himiko finds it peaceful to be resting here in the sun, on a blanket right near the little tree. It's growing taller, its trunk reaching for the sky with all its heart, in a way Angie would admire.
For not the first time since they ended up here, Himiko has to wonder what Angie would think of all of this. If she would approve. If this would be the way she would want them to spend their time. Probably not, right? Angie would want them to spread their beliefs however they could. That's how she was, always energetic, always optimistic, always ready to do what had to be done.
…Or maybe that's just the version of her that Himiko made up in her head. Maybe she would've been broken by Shirogane, the mastermind, just as bad as they were. Maybe she would've been broken even worse. Himiko's got no way of knowing, after all. And it doesn't matter. Even if she did know, Himiko… she's her own person. She'll go on living the way they'd want her to, but she's not living for them.
It's hard not to feel closer to her, under the midday sun, relaxing like this. She would've loved this place, Himiko thinks. Even if they weren't able to make her vision of God's paradise in the game… this is close enough to their own personal little paradise. Himiko can be satisfied with that.
"Would you be… proud of me, Angie?" Himiko asks, aloud, to nothing and no one. Or maybe to someone. Who can say? Magic is affected by your belief in it, after all.
It's been years. Himiko really ought to just… let it go. Move on, act normal. To an extent, she has, with most of the others. She still thinks about Tenko on and off. Tenko was a very dear friend to her, especially… once she realized how much she did for her, after all.
But there was just something about Angie. Maybe it was the way she danced and sang and smiled through life, light and beautiful. Maybe it was in the words she spoke, and in her absolute confidence, in herself, in the council, even in Himiko. Maybe it was the way she touched and loved Himiko like no one else ever has.
It makes Himiko warm to think about, even now, even as it brings tears to her eyes, and she knows, she knows what her feelings are, even if she's still too weak to admit them to herself or anyone. She's… she's working on it, she promises she is. She's getting better. But it's hard, even now, to put that feeling out there.
It's kind of funny. All this time, and even past her improvement, she's still afraid to express herself. Himiko gives herself this, though. She lets herself cry, embraces the warm feeling, chases those memories, for as long as she's able to, before things start to get hazy and she finds sleep claiming her again.
When Himiko wakes, a red pair of eyes are boring into her.
"You missed lunch," Maki explains, flatly, holding a box up in front of her. "You need to eat."
Himiko rubs her eyes as she eases herself into a sitting position. "Did I? Just like our Harumaki to look out for me like that, huh?"
Maki huffs, looking away, and a faint red tints her cheeks. She pushes the box further towards Himiko. "Just shut up and eat. It's not getting any warmer."
"Okay!" Himiko chirps. "I'm happy to eat your cooking, anyway."
Maki raises an eyebrow, but drops the box into Himiko's waiting hands anyhow. "It's Shuichi's, not mine."
Himiko's face scrunches up. "Then I don't want it," she deadpans, already taking out the chopsticks to eat it.
"Don't be a baby." Maki crosses her arms. "Shuichi's cooking is fine."
"Sure, but it's not yours."
Himiko wonders if Angie can see them even now, looking down from on high, with that god she loves. She must be. Himiko chooses to believe that. That's enough for her.
"What's gotten into you today?" Maki asks. She sounds almost genuinely stunned.
The confusion makes Himiko pause, considering her response. What's gotten into her… well, it's simple, isn't it?
"I like spending time with the people I care about, that's all," Himiko says, quietly, adjusting the brim of her hat to pull it down lower. "People like you."
Maybe Himiko can never tell Angie how she felt… but the people who are still alive, still here, Himiko can give her all to loving and caring for, in her own way. That's enough.
That has to be enough.