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It wasn’t often that the crew would get drunk without a reason. They usually saved the alcohol for the celebrations of a job well done, which was fine by Gillion. Oversea liquor tasted so bitter compared to what was in the Undersea-- not that he’d drank all that much when he was down there.
Regardless, Chip had decided that he wanted to drink some wine that he’d stolen a few escapades prior, and Jay immediately joined in, and Gillion didn’t want to feel left out, so he joined as well. It wasn’t like they had anything to worry about; the night was clear, and the sea was calm, and Ollie was passed out on the deck after a few hours of stargazing with Chip earlier that night.
So they drank.
Time seemed to flash forward from the moment Gillion had clinked his glass with the others’ to the present. The three of them were sitting on the center of the deck with Gillion in the middle, Chip leaned into his left side, and Jay’s head resting in Gil’s lap as she lazily traced constellations with her eyes. The empty bottles of wine were scattered in front of them, which was mildly concerning to the Triton as his memories of the past hour or so were hazy at best.
He sighed, though, as there was nothing he could do about it now but soak in the warmth that his human friends were giving off. Admittedly, it was a much-needed bit of peace for him. The Elders had taught him to keep fighting for others no matter what, so he had. He slashed and smited and ran and defended his honor every second of their journey thus far. It was only when Jay had pointed out how dark the bags under his eyes were that he realized he needed a break. If he kept pushing himself past his limits, there would be no Champion of the Undersea to protect everyone anymore. This was one of the many things he needed to relearn from his time in the Undersea.
Gillion had been so lost in his thoughts that he barely heard when Chip spoke up. It was barely a whisper that he couldn’t make out clearly, so he turned his gaze slightly to look down at Chip’s head on his shoulder. “What was that, Chip? I couldn’t hear you.”
Chip was easily the drunkest of the three of them, making his words slur together slightly as he mumbled, “Gil, I love you.”
A small smile spread across Gillion’s face. He nudged his cheek lightly against the top of Chip’s head. “I greatly care for you as well, Chip!”
“No, no, Gil,” Chip argued as he pushed himself into a proper sitting position to stare into Gillion’s eyes with a startling amount of conviction. “I love you. Like, really, really love you. I wanna do all that gross sappy shit with you.”
Gillion gawked at his companion, wide eyes and jaw dropped and everything. He had no idea how to respond to that. He attempted to form some sort of coherent sentence, but all he could manage to splutter out was, “Wha-- I-- What? ”
Jay scoffed lightly. “He wants to date you, dumbass.”
The thought barely crossed his mind before his mouth spat out the words, “You can’t say that. You have a wife.”
“I was plastered and had only known her for, like, a night . That’s not a real marriage.”
Gillion didn’t notice when Chip’s goofy smile faltered for a second.
“Chip, you made a promise to the Gods and to your wife. You are bound by not only Undersea law, but by the power of the Gods themselves. Breaking such a sacred bond is disrespectful and ungodly!”
Jay sat up at this point, and Chip’s smile fell completely. His eyes were wide with an emotion Gillion had never seen him wear: dismay. “I don’t care about the rules of the Undersea, Gil!”
“Well I do!” Gillion shouted back.
Silence blanketed the ship in a suffocating weight. Everyone was completely still for what felt like hours. Chip looked like he’d just been slapped, and although Gillion couldn’t see Jay’s face, he knew that she had a shocked expression as well.
A voice called out from near the front of the ship, groggy and confused, “Wha’s goin’ on?”
“Nothing, Ollie,” Chip hollered back as his face instantly shifted to complete blankness. “Go back to sleep, kid.”
“M’kay.”
After a few seconds, Chip stood and brushed off his pants, seemingly sober. “Wake me up when it’s morning,” he said to Jay, not even sparing Gillion a glance as he turned and went to their sleeping quarters.
Gillion stared at the deck, swallowing a thick lump that had collected in his throat. Even he was smart enough to know that Chip was upset.
Jay pushed herself off the ground. Gillion turned his gaze to her, and the face she made was one of pure disappointment. He recoiled slightly as she all but spat, “That was fucked up, Gillion.”
Without another word, she walked away, and Gillion was alone.
The air felt a lot colder all of a sudden…
The next few days were far too quiet.
Chip avoided Gillion like the plague. He was already asleep by the time Gillion came down and had been up for hours when Gillion would wake up. He only talked to Ollie and Jay-- and Old Man Earl, on occasion. Never Gilion. He was spared no glances or jabs. Simply silence.
To make things worse, Ollie looked at him like he’d murdered a frogtopus, and Jay’s polite smile never reached her eyes when the two of them interacted. The only person on the ship who would talk to him normally was Earl. It was clear that the only reason for that was because Earl didn’t give two shits about the affairs of the rest of the crew.
Gillion had never felt so isolated… Not even his years of training felt this terrible.
He knew he deserved it, though. Gillion was a failure of a hero. He had tried to do everything right-- to stick to his morals and fight the evil of the world, but… in reality, he was no better than the foes he had been trained to defeat.
Gillion could barely even call himself a good person.
As the days dragged on, he began to spend more and more time in the sleeping quarters. He only went out when it was his time for watch or when Earl wanted him to try a new juice recipe. Otherwise, his only company was Pretzel. Even she looked at him with disdain, however.
It was about a week later after Gillion had fucked everything up that the measly supports holding him steady crumbled.
Gillion was sat on the figurehead, gazing at the water below him. The stars reflected off of its surface in beautiful, twinkling lights that would have made him smile at any other time. He had nothing to be happy about, though.
He sat in what was essentially a trance for a long time; his eyes never leaving the sight of the gentle waves of the ocean.
“You’re a god damn idiot, fish man.”
Gillion flailed in surprise, barely managing to grab the railing before plummeting into the sea. He heaved himself onto the deck with a slight thump right in front of Old Man Earl. “Sorry, what?”
“You fucking dumb fish,” Earl grumbled while pointing one of his wrinkly fingers at the much taller figure of Gillion. “Stop brooding and fix yourself and the bastard. I can’t have both of ya moping about! It’s fucking annoying. Go apologize or something; I don’t fucking care. Just fix whatever the fuck you did.”
Before Gillion could even open his mouth to respond, Earl was already making his way back to the kitchen. He stared at the retreating figure for a few seconds before he heard light tapping from Pretzel’s container at his hip. He gently lifted the bottle to his face. “What’s wrong, Pretzel?”
Pretzel gave him a stern look and pointed at him, then mimicked the actions of talking, and finally did a rather impressive impression of Chip. Her message was clear enough, but Gillion had one thing that he needed to do before he confronted his companion.
With as much stealth as he could possess, Gillion entered the sleeping quarters and made a beeline for Jay’s bed. He shook her shoulder a few times, to which she mumbled, “Go away, Chip.”
“Jay,” Gillion sighed, “I need to talk to you. Right now.”
Jay’s brows furrowed, and she squinted up at him. “What?”
“I need to-- Can you please come with me? It’s very important.” He brought his hands to his chest and twisted them together in an attempt to ease his anxiety.
“Yeah, of course.” She looked concerned as she stood, but Gillion only saw her expression for a moment as he was already turning to head back to the main deck.
Gillion dropped to a sitting position against the railing at the helm, and Jay followed suit. The tense silence they shared was shattered as Jay gently asked, “What do you need to talk about, Gil?”
“Can you tell me about Oversea relationships?” He never raised his gaze from his feet.
“Oh,” Jay breathed with a bit of surprise lacing her voice. “I can do that. What exactly do you want to know?”
Gillion hesitated. “I want to know about faithfulness in your culture. Like, polygamy and… divorce was what it was called, right?”
“It was divorce, yeah… Okay, well, like the undersea, most people hold the belief that you should be faithful to those you are dating or are married to. Cheating isn’t a crime, but it certainly is frowned upon my the majority.
“Divorce is basically the breaking of a marriage for one reason or another. A lot of the time it’s because of abuse or people fell out of love. While it’s nice to believe that every marriage is going to last forever, they’re often built on rocky foundation. And people change, you know? You might be on the same path at first, but ten years later, you’re each in a completely different trajectory. Divorce allows for the option of trying again if things don’t go right.
“As for polyamory-- that’s what it’s usually called up here-- it’s not as wide-spread as monogamous relationships, but it’s not… bad , I guess? Polyamorous relationships can actually be really healthy if all parties consent to it and there’s a high level of communication between partners. It’s not the same as being unfaithful; although, there are people who abuse the word polyamory to cheat. Healthy polyamorous relationships are almost like dedicating an equal amount of love to every partner. It’s not wrong to love more than one person."
Jay paused, and she gently lifted Gillion’s chin so he would meet her gaze. “Gillion, I know that the Undersea taught you to never waive your morals, but not every moral you’re taught is right. Chip doesn’t want to be married to Amanda. It was an alcohol-driven lapse of judgment and control, and he doesn’t love her.” She cupped his cheek gently. “But he does love you , Gil. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I’ve heard him talking about you to his coin when he thinks no one is listening. And you love him, too. You may be emotionally constipated from your time in the Undersea, but you’re so obviously smitten with him.
A bright, sweet smile spread across Jay’s face. “You’re allowed to be happy, Gil. I promise.”
Tears spilled onto Gillion’s cheeks as if a dam had broken, and he was instantly pulled into a tight hug. For once, he let himself just sob. He mourned for his child self who had been so lonely and sad and was berated for each and every failure and never once received more than a curt “Good” when he succeeded. For young Gillion-- not Gillion Tidestrider, just Gillion -- who had stomped every emotion that wasn’t helpful to his destiny into a tiny box that he would never open. For the child who desperately wanted a hug and to be told that he was enough and he was loved and he was more than the one who was destined to save the world.
Finally, Gillion understood what true pain felt like. It wasn’t a sharp stab with a sword or burning acid on his skin; it was the harsh realization that he had never once been allowed to be a person, only a pawn forced to serve until he died.
So Gillion cried. And that was okay.
The next morning, Gillion sat, fully submerged, in his barrel. It had been about twenty minutes since Chip and Jay had gone up to the kitchen for breakfast, and he was using this alone time to psych himself up to talk to Chip. It was nerve-wracking to apologize to him; there was no way of knowing if Chip was going to accept it or throw it back into his face with the promise of leaving him on the next island they stopped at. Gillion wouldn’t blame him if the latter happened. He honestly deserved it for what had happened.
He shook the negative thoughts out of his head. Gillion had to hope for the best. It would be okay.
As if on cue, Pretzel swam into his cheek with a chirp and began to slap at him. He glanced down at his beloved frogtopus, and she gave him a look that said, “Get your ass out of the barrel and talk to Chip, or I will figure out how to wield your sword to fight you.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll go,” he huffed good-naturedly before pulling himself out of his barrel. He took three seconds to shake off any extra nerves and made his way to the main deck.
It wasn’t hard to find Chip. It was his day to watch the seas, so he was sat on the figurehead with a spyglass. Gillion approached, making his presence known so that he wouldn’t accidentally scare Chip into falling into the water. Chip, of course, didn’t even acknowledge his presence.
“Chip, I, uh, would like to talk to you. If that’s alright, of course.” Gillion’s voice lacked its usual confidence and eccentric cadence, and he winced slightly at it.
“What do you want?” Chip deadpanned. His gaze was glued to the ocean in front of them.
“I’m… I’m extremely sorry for what I said last week and for losing my temper. It--”
Chip spun himself around and fixed Gillion with a glare. “You’re sorry, huh?” His tone was antagonistic and sharp, causing the triton to falter.
“Can I please finish?” Gillion whispered as he willed the tears in his eyes not to fall.
With an eye roll, Chip gave him a curt nod, and he continued, “It was cruel and unacceptable to say that you were being a bad person because of what I’ve been taught in the Undersea. You don’t deserve to be treated as such, and for that, I truly apologize.
“I have come to understand that my views in regards to what I said can be incredibly toxic and controlling. I am going to work to be more open to the cultures of the Oversea. I swear by those words as they are heard by the Gods.
“Finally, I hurt you. Very badly. It was shameful to disregard your feelings, especially while you were being vulnerable with Jay and me. You are one of the most incredible people that I have had the pleasure to meet, and I love you, too. I hope that you can forgive me, but I understand if you cannot.”
Chip stared at Gillion with an incomprehensible expression, causing Gillion to break eye contact to stare at his feet. The silence wrapped around his body like a tentacle, and the heat from the bright sun above felt like fire against his skin.
Just as Gillion thought that he was going to be dragged to the deepest depths of the ocean, never to be seen again, Chip slid off of the figurehead and walked towards him. Gillion didn’t dare look up.
“Gil, look at me.” His voice was firm and allowed for no argument. Gillion slowly raised his head and was met with Chip’s deep brown eyes. He opened his mouth to say something-- anything to delay the inevitable-- but he was swiftly cut off as Chip said,
“I forgive you.”
Gillion’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”
Chip rolled his eyes and threw up his hands in an eccentric display of frustration. “ I forgive you, you fucking asshole!”
“You forgive me?”
“Of course, I fucking forgive you!” Chip cried, settling his head in his hands. “Fucking duh , Gil! Yeah, I was pissed at first that you’d say some shit like that, but I realized that the Undersea bitches fucked you up big time, and I couldn’t help but put myself in your shoes and think about how that shit would impact me.”
“Oh,” was all that Gillion could say at this point.
Chip let his hands fall to his sides and looked back at him. “Listen, you’d better not pull any shit like that again, but… I still love you, and I’m willing to put the work in to have a healthy relationship if you are.” His eyes softened just a bit. “I’m asking you one last time. Gillion Tidestrider, would you do me the honor of dating me?”
The gears in Gillion’s head finally clicked into place, and a large smile replaced his stunned expression. “Chip No-Last-Name, it would be my pleasure.”
With a similarly bright grin, Chip pulled him into a crushing hug, and from across the ship, Ollie shouted, “Oh my god, finally!”
And if Gillion and Chip dissolved into a pile of laughter, who was to judge them.