Work Text:
Kaz prided himself on his observational skills. It was an attribute admired by most and envied by others. Things they would see and gloss over would carefully collect in his mind until he had every piece of the puzzle he wanted. He was no different from others; he had no special gift that set him apart from others. He simply observed while others only watched.
So when Inej climbed through his window one evening, - (she had taken to sharpening her knives on his windowsill - he suspected it was her way of keeping an eye on him and the streets while maintaining her threatening aura)-, he immediately noticed something about her had changed.
He narrowed his eyes at the tight braid, her face completely lacking the usual wisps of hair that framed it. While on a mission she tended to opt for a more secure braid, it was unusual to see her looking so regal in her time to relax. Something was different.
She must have felt his gaze on her, as she lifted her head moments later from where it was bowed as she sharpened her knives. She raised an eyebrow at him when he didn’t avert his gaze. “What?”
“Your hair is different.”
Her lips twitched, and his eyes narrowed slightly. “Jes did it for me.”
Kaz raised his eyebrows and she shrugged. “He used to do his mother’s hair all the time when he was younger. He saw me braiding mine earlier and asked if he could have a go.” She paused, looking bemused. “Any other questions?”
Kaz paused for a moment, his scrutinising gaze still focused on her.
“Jes?” he said incredulously after a beat
“Talking about me again?”
Kaz saw Jesper saunter into the room from the corner of his eye, his usual smug swagger radiating from him. Inej glanced at Kaz, a teasing glint in her eye, before turning to Jesper.
“Kaz was admiring my hair, so I told him you did it for me.”
“I wasn’t complimenting -”
Jesper threw his hand dramatically to his chest. “The Kaz Brekker? Compliment my work?” He collapsed on the chair next to Kaz, fanning himself. “Inej, help me, I’m swooning.”
Kaz rolled his eyes and returned back to the papers before him, ignoring the huff of laughter from Inej and Jesper’s satisfied smirk.
***
Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason. He could pick up any skill as fast and as well as any person spending years of their life dedicated to doing so. He spent time watching carefully, replaying motions over and over until they ran smoothly in his mind; until his hands could repeat said motion with practised ease, eyes closed and fingers moving deftly.
It began unexpectedly, this new skill; cuffs of his coats coming undone and leaving bits of string across his desk. He would say it was unconsciously, but Kaz never did something without a motive.
He spent hours meticulously braiding pieces of string over and over, almost tearing his own hair out in frustration when he couldn’t keep the right tension. When he felt more confident about his pace and technique, he moved onto horse hair, taking time to get used to the weight and feel of it. It was much coarser than he suspected her hair would be, but it would have to do. There was only so far he could go without drawing suspicion to himself and his private mission.
(He did at one point swallow his pride enough to go ask Jesper for his help after his hundredth failed attempt. However, he was quickly reminded why he never asked for help, - especially from Jesper -, when he laughed in his face for a solid five minutes. He only felt mildly better when he could still hear Jesper wheezing the next day, clutching his ribs and glancing warily at Kaz’s cane whenever he got too close.)
By week’s end, Kaz had tiny braids hanging from every frayed sleeve and his ties lay in loose plaits, littered haphazardly around his room. At night he would imagine running his hands through her hair, fingers gliding through as he deftly tied it for her. Over and over he would run through this idea, until every crack and fault in it was smoothed and covered. He would do this. He would be the one to close this gap. She had extended her hand and too often it had been left cold between them. This was his duty. He would do it for her.
***
His knuckle wrapped firmly against her door, held still in the air until he heard her call him in. He paused in the doorway, taking in the sight of her patching up her wound, alone on her bed as she wrapped the bandage around her bloodied hand. She shouldn’t have been hurt like this; there was nothing extraordinary about the job tonight that would have warranted such an injury. Kaz cursed himself for his shortsightedness at underestimating the rival gang's desperation to hit him where they knew it would hurt most.
The familiar feeling of guilt and worry took root in his stomach, wanting desperately to be the one to patch her up, but knowing such fantasies would remain as they were.
“Close the door if you’re coming in - I’m not having a bloody draft in my room for the sake of your broodiness.”
A small smile graced his features at her scolding tone as he moved further into the room, taking care to shut the door closed behind him. He hovered by the end of her bed.
Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, almost completely undone. He watched as she pushed it away time and time again as it continued to fall in her face. Her frustration was evident as she tucked it furiously behind her ear, helpless to do anything with it as her hand lay uselessly on her lap.
Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and reached his hand slowly out towards her. Watching her face carefully, he waited for her to tell him to stop, to take his hand back before it was too late. She only stared up at him through her curtains of dark hair, her face doing its best to remain neutral even if her eyes gave her curiosity away.
His hand came to a stop inches from her, carefully brushing the strands from her face. His stomach threatened to turn but he refused to give in.
“Let me,” he said, his voice low and reverent.
She gazed up at him, shock shining through for a moment before it was gone again. Nodding, she handed him her brush and angled her body away from him.
Kaz took a moment then, taking her in as her back faced him. Leaving herself completely vulnerable to him, giving him the power to touch and caress her; her gesture of trust did not go unnoticed by him.
He gripped the brush tightly in his hand, debating whether or not to return the gesture. His stomach turned at the idea, yet he was not deterred by the sensation. Instead, he lay the brush down on the bedside table. He didn’t miss how her body tensed, obviously assuming that he would back down, run away as he had so many times before. He had forced her to become far too used to disappointment and he would no longer. He pulled his gloves off and dropped them on the table, noticing how this time her head turned towards the sound. He needed her to see it, needed her to realise that he too was stripping himself bare for her, leaving himself vulnerable to her for her to take him as she pleased.
Picking up the brush once more, he steeled himself as he held a section of hair and pulled the brush smoothly through it. He heard her release a soft breath before realising he too had been holding his. A silence passed between them as the enormity of this moment hung in the air. Here they were, two people too damaged to touch, and yet holding each other’s trust with such reverence it stole both their breaths completely. He continued on with the task, carefully brushing each section, ensuring each one was left smooth and de-tangled in his wake. Inej had tilted her head back towards him at some point and he watched with soft awe as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.
Once he had finished, he placed the brush down, mentally preparing himself for the next step. Inej began to stir, clearly assuming that the moment was over, before Kaz took a breath and carded his hands through her hair. Her soft dark hair slipped through his fingers as he ran them root to end, eliciting a soft gasp from Inej as her eyes opened wide, gazing up at Kaz through her lashes. He held her gaze, silently asking her if this was okay but secretly begging her to let him finish. She answered neither question; instead she leaned her head further into his hands and closed her eyes once more.
Kaz was shaking. The weight of her head in his hands was too great and yet he would not give it up. He silently shook himself and took three sections of hair from the top of her head.
Right over middle, left over right. Right over middle, left over right.
Repeating his prepared mantra in his head, Kaz made his braid. Inej’s hair was far thicker and softer than the horse’s hair he had practised on but he refused to give up in frustration as it continued to slip through his fingers. He continued to pull her hair back with the correct tension as he made his way down her head, watching with satisfaction as his braid came before him.
Finally, he reached the ends of her hair, accepting the tie she silently handed him and tying the braid neatly. He admired his handiwork for a moment, both proud of himself for not getting sick and actually doing a good enough job with the braid. *
Once his hands had fallen away, Inej opened her eyes once more. She pulled the braid towards herself, and Kaz found himself waiting with nervous anticipation as she examined it.
She then turned around to look at him, and Kaz knew he must look like a nervous man, for her eyes softened as she smiled up at him.
“Thank you Kaz; it’s perfect,” she said softly, her eyes staring intently into his as she spoke.
His heart flipped at her words but he instinctively rolled her eyes at her response.
“I think we’re a bit past the lying part of our relationship, wouldn’t you say?” he remarked drily. “‘Perfect’ seems like a bit too strong of a word.”
She laughed then and his heart soared once more, sure now that it would burst from his chest any moment now.
“You’re right; it’s pretty terrible.”
Kaz laughed outright at that as she grinned at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously as she watched the smile spread over his face. They quietened after a moment, both gazing at each other in content silence.
Without thinking, Kaz reached out and brushed a stray hair from her face. This time however, neither of them froze. She gazed up at him, watching him as he stroked his hand down the side of her face, gently brushing along her cheekbone. Slowly, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist, pulling it closer to her face. He watched in quiet fascination as she turned her head and pressed a gentle kiss to his palm. The burn of her touch spread from his fingers to his lungs, so he held his breath and relished in it.
Kaz didn’t know how long they stayed like that, feeling encased in each other’s arms as their hands were barely held. Eventually they broke apart; however this time neither of them were left without breath.
Inej watched him from her perch on her bed as he gathered up his gloves and put them on. His bare hands had been his biggest gesture; but he was not ready to be without his gloves just yet.
“Kaz?”
Her voice made him turn, his hand on the door handle, ready to leave.
“Do my hair tomorrow?”
He smiled at her, taking in the sight of her. The room was cloaked in darkness, the only light coming from the candles that illuminated her figure on the bed. Her eyes reflected the light and Kaz found himself signing his heart over once more to this beautiful woman before him.
“As you wish.”