Work Text:
Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade is not a heavy sleeper. Despite being able to sleep through loud teenagers and tired old men trying to wake him alike, the moment there's any real danger, chat instantly terminates is rest and he's as awake as ever.
It's a bit of a jarring feeling, though, so it isn't particularly pleasant when he's suddenly jolted awake by thousands of screaming voices in the dead of night. He winces, slowing chat down so his mind can actually process what its saying- and that barely helps.
He stands there, picking his sword up and slinging on his cape as he tries to decipher the noise- HELPHE'SSCAREDTUBBOYOUDIDTHISHELPHIM- before another sound slices through the darkness and instantly makes chat go dead silent.
A scream, guttural and tortured, tearing through the silence like an arrow and making Techno's hair stand on end as he rushes through his front door, ignoring the sharp sting of the cold, biting wind on his face as he half-runs across the snow towards Ranboo's house. The scream was too high-pitched to be Ranboo- Ghostboo, whatever- and far too low and loud to be Michael's. The only other person in that house is Tubbo, and while Techno may not have properly held a conversation with Tubbo in well over a year prior to earlier today (or yesterday, he doesn't know what time it is), he distinctly remembers that the kid never even cried, let alone screamed like this.
His sword hand twitches as he slams his hand into the button to open the door, the iron swinging open loudly and hitting the stopper with enough force to almost bounce it back. He hears Tubbo scream again as the door slams, and he wastes no time in rushing up the stairs, snow trailing on his boots into the house and across the red and green carpet.
He hears Tubbo's panicked breathing, rapid, shallow inhales and exhales that cut through the eerily silent house (he has no idea where Ran- fuck, Ghostboo is, or Michael) as Techno reaches the second floor, decidedly ignoring chat as he says, "Tubbo, what's goin' on-?" before stopping in his tracks.
He swears that for a second, he doesn't even see Tubbo. For a moment, Tubbo's head of brown hair is blonde and his arms are wrapped in bandages, pale fingers gripping his hair tightly and tugging on it to try and ground himself. Techno feels his heart stop for a moment, and then he blinks and the moonlight beaming in from the window illuminates dark horns and a green button up, and chat flares up into a roar as his sword disappears from his hand.
"Um," he says smartly, to nobody but himself. Chat ridicules him, but he can't hear what they're saying over his own obnoxiously loud thoughts. "Shit."
He walks, tentatively, over to the boy, his movements seeming to stutter as he kneels in front of Tubbo and tries to figure out what the hell he's actually supposed to say here. Throughout their entire journey, Tubbo's hair stayed in a swoop over his eye, completely shrouding half of his explosion scars and staving off a lot of unwanted discussion about what had happened that October. But now, with his hands dug into his hair and pushing his brown locks up, Techno can see all of it in full view.
His skin is warped and pale, looking almost wrinkly and dark around his right eye. The eye in question is gray, a lighter gray than his other eye and lazily lolled to the bottom of his socket and completely unseeing. It's blind and dead, but the other one is clouded and his horizontal pupil is contracted in terror, seeing something that definitely isn't there. It's filled with tears that stream down his face, and it's almost disturbing how the line of wetness only comes from one eye and streaks down his scarred cheeks.
"Um- Tubbo, calm down," He says, almost wincing at his calloused tone and the way his voice cracks. "I'm right here, kid, you're safe."
Tubbo doesn't respond- obviously- but Techno can see as his eye dilates, just a bit, sharply darting to meet Techno's face. In that split second, Techno thinks whatever he's doing (because he really doesn't know what he's doing- it's been over a year) might be working, but as soon as recognition hits, Tubbo's face twists and his expression is mortified, terrified, and everything Techno dreaded ever since he stepped into the house.
Tubbo whimpers and brings his arms to cover his face, practically babbling out in incoherent set of pleads and apologies: "Techno, please, not again- not again, I'm sorry-"
Chat is significantly quieter- not because they purposely got quieter, but there just seem to be significantly less voices in his mind, leaving an uncomfortable amount of room for his own thoughts to ring int he empty space. He doesn't know what to do- he moves his hands towards the boy and he violently flinches away, and Techno is the one that seems to be pleading as he croaks, "Kid- I'm not gonna hurt you, c'mon-"
Tubbo is hyperventilating. He doesn't even think the brunet hears him- all that comes from him is a steady stream of, "Please, please, please don't, I'm sorry, please-"
Techno lets out a frustrated huff, his brows pulling together as he wracks his brain for how to deal with this. He remembers helping Tommy through his own panic attacks- though, that was only after a couple of hours of reading on how to do it properly and multiple incidents teaching him exactly what Tommy needed- but he doesn't at all remember Tubbo having these sorts of fits in Pogtopia, and it's been months since he's had to do anything along the lines of this, and he so desperately doesn't want to make it worse.
He's trying his hardest not to think about why this is happening- he knows why, he knows exactly what Tubbo is seeing. He can basically see it himself- he twists his eyes shut and takes a deep breath of his own, furiously trying to scrub the image of the yellow box and the firework in his hands and Tubbo's desperate, pleading expression out of the back of his eyelids so he can focus. He didn't think much of what happened after the festival- even after the pit incident, the execution fell from his mind as he spent weeks collecting materials for the revolution. All the times Techno saw Tubbo after that, his entire right half was covered in bandages and he seemed just as peppy as ever.
It was a different story when Tommy was staying with him, but at that point, the festival was basically a lingering thought in his mind- not important enough for him to dedicate any conscious thought to it, but enough for him to remember Tubbo's eyes- both of them- and his expression in that box.
It wasn't until Ranboo died that he started thinking about it. Really, it wasn't until Techno broke the news to him that he realized that maybe, maybe something was wrong. He was almost unrecognisable- his horns were significantly larger, his hair was longer and covered his face, and his large coat hid a significant portion of his skin- but not well enough to make the scars on his face invisible. He had barely gotten taller, but his voice was deeper and his eyes lacked the same shine of joy (or whatever) that he had a year ago, even before Techno told him his best friend was dead.
Having to work with him prompted thoughts, thoughts prompted a grim realisation, and his realisation prompted an apology (an apology he was sitting on for days before they went to go find Michael; every time he replayed the scene in his mind, he started to feel sick to his stomach) that he guesses was received well. Tubbo is, by no means, an open book, and he can't help but feel his repetitive mention of the festival (and the Final Control Room) was more pointed than his innocent tone made it out to be.
Some awful part of Techno's mind (and he has a lot of those, so this one is particularly loud) seethes and says that this is his sarcasm and baiting catching up to him, that he shouldn't have tried to guilt when he wasn't even over the incident himself, but he shakes it out when he moves slightly towards Tubbo and the boy starts screaming again.
It sounds worse, so much worse up close- it's like the moment just after he shot the first firework and missed, except this time, there's no second firework to cut it off. Tubbo's eye doesn't look like it's present, he doesn't look like he's there, but Techno can't help but think he's seeing just what he sees now- his killer, come with apologies.
Techno figures there's really one way for him to help here, as much as he very much does not want to do it. Nevertheless, he takes a deep breath and tries to say, over Tubbo's now panicked, short cries, "I'm- I'm not gonna hurt you, Tubbo. I'm gettin' up-" He pushes himself off the ground, trying to ignore the way Tubbo presses himself into the wall, trying to get away from him as much as possible as his holds out both of his hands in a placating manner. "And I'm movin' away. Just breathe, it's alright. I'm not gonna hurt you again."
He doesn't know whether Tubbo is registering anything coming out of his mouth, but he digs his fingers back into his hair, rocking himself back and forth as his screams subdue into hiccupping sobs as Techno continues to back away. He doesn't make a sound- if he can get out of here without making Tubbo have to see him again, that's probably for the best.
Unfortunately, he can't stop his heart from leaping out of his throat when a tall, gangly figure suddenly appears in the room, phasing from the wall where Techno basically just was and crouching down next to Tubbo with unnaturally long legs. Despite him knowing it's Ghostboo the moment he appears, he's still a ghost, and his sudden appearance was jarring, his body instinctively shuddering as the temperature of the room drops several degrees below zero, as the room was already borderline freezing.
Shaking off the shock, he quickly stutters out, "Ranboo, I don't- I dunno what happened here, he just started screamin' and I didn't know how to help him- I-I don't think he's seein', uh, correctly, I think he's-"
"He does this every night," Ghostboo says, his voice raspy and weak. Techno's blood runs so cold it feels like he's standing outside, frozen in place as the sound of chat almost deafens him, insults and chants and surprise all blending in to a indecipherable cacophony of noise. He lets it wash over him, almost unresponsive as Ghostboo simply takes Tubbo's hand in his, the shorter boy quieting almost instantly and latching onto Ghostboo without hesitation, gripping onto the shroud that covers the top half of his body like his life depended on it and trembling fiercely as the ghost put a comforting hand on his back (as comforting as the touch of a ghost could be; Tubbo doesn't seem to mind).
Techno simply stands and watches, feeling intrusive but not being able to shake off the many feelings in his chest- bitterness, distress, regret- that make him stay. He doesn't know what he's waiting for. Even after Tubbo finally calms down and falls back asleep, he doesn't know how he could possibly see what he started to the end.
Ghostboo's gaze is empty, yet unwavering. He stares at a fixed point on the ground, fully red and green eyes seemingly casting light onto Tubbo's hair and back as he quietly whispers, "He was getting better."
Technoblade turns and flees down the stairs.