Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

    This is really not what Mumbo was expecting when they were finally pulled out of the Void. They had landed (with a splash into a river, might he add) in this new world in the middle of the night (and a rainstorm), mobs catching sight of them almost immediately. So now here they were, soaking wet and huddled together in a hastily-dug hole until the sun rose. 

    “Well-uh…this sure is a situation we’re in!” Mumbo broke the silence. The other Boatem members were preoccupied—Scar was comforting a damp Jellie, Grian was trying to dry off his feathers, Impulse was fiddling with his communicator and Pearl was digging out some more room in their hidey-hole—but they stopped to look at him. 

    “Yeah, it’s not looking great.” Impulse pressed a few more buttons on the communicator and gave up. “The inventory’s working fine-even though it was cleared. But the messenger is completely busted. I can’t even pull up the tab list.” 

    Grian shook his feathers out one more time before sitting on the floor. “Well, whatever happened, it’s not completely hopeless. I saw some light over there”-he vaguely waved his arm towards the east-“as we were falling.” Some hermits must’ve gotten here before us.

    “Yeah, but…” Mumbo was confused. And worried. And soaking wet, but he’d deal with that later. “Why didn’t we spawn in with everyone else? Xisuma hasn’t told us anything either.”

    “Well, whatever the case is, we should try to get our communicators working again,” Pearl stated. She dusted off her hands, reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled out her communicator. “Impulse, what’ve you tried already?” 

    “Oh, I’ve reset it, I’ve changed the settings to ‘communication only’, I’ve tried to create a new network… I think it’s either because my communicator got a bit banged up or because this is a new server and Xisuma hasn’t finished setting things up.”  

    “Ah, makes sense. Oh, have you tried..”

    While the avian and the demon chatted about what to do, Mumbo looked at Grian. “Grian, I-“ 

    “Scar, what do you think?” Grian asked. Scar had just finished drying off Jellie with the handkerchief he kept in his pocket, and he finally looked up at the two. 

    “I think we should leave the hidey-hole. We can’t let other Hermits get ahead of us!” He grinned and scratched Jellie’s chin. “Besides, I think it’s daytime now.” He carefully scooped away a bit of dirt on the ceiling, letting sunlight peek through. 

    “True! I need to have a better shop than Doc and Ren. They absolutely outdid all of us last season!” He shot a grin at Mumbo and started to dig away at the ceiling as well. 

    This is not where Mumbo wanted the conversation to go. He didn’t know what he expected, seeing as he was asking Grian and Scar about what they should do, but still. Panicking, he rushed in front of them and threw his hands up. “Guys-guys we really shouldn’t!” Mumbo cried. “It could be dangerous, we still don’t know what’s out there!!” Was it just him, or did his arms look…longer? 

    Grian gave him a weird look, but before he could say anything, Scar said “Aww, cmon, Mumbo! If something other than the Hermits were out there, they can’t be that dangerous!”

    “But we don’t know for sure, though,” Mumbo said anxiously. He wouldn’t know what to do if they were attacked by a player—or worse, if one of Boatem got hurt. “Lets just- stay here, until we can contact Xisuma.” 

    “Well, uh, I don’t think that’s gonna be happening anytime soon.” Impulse shot a dismayed glance at Pearl, “My communicator’s pretty busted.”

     “So is mine,” Pearl said. “Are any of your communicators working?” 

     The rest of Boatem rummaged around in their pockets. Grian pulled out a thousand pieces of what once was his communicator, Scar's screen was cracked beyond repair, and Mumbos didn’t turn on. “I think…I forgot to charge mine,” he sheepishly confessed. 

     Impulse and Pearl stared at their communicators, seemingly undamaged but their black, empty screens showing otherwise. “We better get to work then,” Impulse said.

The morning sun scattered across the water, points of light flicking in and out like fireflies. Water rushed by while xe sat on the riverbank, basking in the warm spring sun as diamond-bright droplets splashed up onto xyr talons. It was a good day for fishing, Lex decided. It had just stopped raining, but the fish were still biting so xe saw no reason to stop. But just before xe could cast xyr line out once more, a noise from within the forest caught xyr attention.

Swiveling its feathered ears to pinpoint the sound, Lex rose to its feet and set off in that direction. As xe approached the source, xe could begin to make out voices among us the rustling of the trees. Dead leaves crunched under its talons as xe looked around; the voices came to a sudden halt.

Oh, right. I should probably tell the others about this, it thought to itself. Xe pulled out xyr communicator and tapped out a quick message to Fish.

[lex]: ayo @fish theres some weird voices coming from somewhere in the forest

[lex]: i think we might have another visitor

[lex]: or two

[fish]: ok

[fish]: im busy with important admin things rn but i’ll be over when im done

[lex]: milf ben shapiro again?

[fish]: milf ben shapiro again.

Lex chuckled and put xyr communicator back in xyr pocket. Suddenly, they heard a small meow! from…underneath xym? Oh, this’ll be interesting. Haven’t seen anyone bring a pet with them before. 

Lex heard a CAW! and glanced back at the communicator. Ah shit— xe had messaged the general chat. 

[jade] WAIT WHY ARE YOU SPAWNING MORE MILF BEN SHAPIROS 

[jade] MY POOR LAKE…

[fish] dw jade theyre in a new location

[fish] ;)

[jade] i dont trust that  

[fish] dont worry about it!

Lex smiled and typed out a response before checking the network to try and see how many people were here. God, I hope they’re nice, Lex thought. I don’t want a repeat of last time with that crazy red haired angel lady…

Xe moved through the trees, causing the low hanging branches and bushes to rustle. While searching, they called out a few times, trying to sound approachable to the visitors. Rounding a particularly large birch, a small hole in the ground—seemingly the source of the voices—caught its gaze.

Chapter Text

“Well, the good news is that we were able to connect to the tab list,” Pearl explained, “but the bad news is that we don’t know who these people are.” 

    Mutterings broke out between the other three boatem members, until Grian said, “Let me see the list!” Everyone crowded around Pearl’s communicator. Her screen was full of white, snowy static, but three names were just barely visible.

lex [_widdendream]

jade [exist_maybe]

fish [fishhberries]

    “Wait, why can’t we see their icons?” Scar asked. “And why aren’t we registering as players?”

    “Either the admin of this server-whoever that is-turned the icons function off, or the comm is still too broken to register it.” Pearl thwacked the comm against her hand, but the usernames just glitched before the static cleared up a bit. “But I’m not sure why we aren’t registering as players.” She turned to Impulse.

      Impulse shifted, looking uncomfortable. “ As for why we’re not registering as players…It might be because the communicator is broken, but we also…might be in a completely different world, one with a whitelist . And the admin needs to register us.”

      Uneasy silence filled the cave. Wait… Mumbo thought. A whitelist world? Then we shouldn’t even be here. We’re breaking the rules!!! But before anyone else could speak up, a crunch from outside caught his attention. 

      “ Shhhhhh, everyone, did you guys hear that?”

    Everyone froze, unsure about what to do. Grian silently pointed at Mumbo, and then at the hole. What?? Why am I the one who has to see what it is? Mumbo shook his head and pointed at Pearl. She’d probably respond the best to….whatever was out there. 

    Pearl looked startled, shook her head and pointed at her communicator. She immediately turned her attention to it and tried to look busy. 

    Before Grian could do anything, Mumbo shook his head again. He looked around- what could distract him? There was a soft thump , and all of the Boatem members jumped except Scar. 

    Jellie walked up to Mumbo, purring now that she was all dry. Mumbo looked down, and without a second thought, picked up Jellie and held her up towards the hole. Scar looked confused, and made grabbing motions towards Jellie, while Mumo pulled her away and moved her back to the hole. Maybe if whoever is out there just sees a cat, they won’t think anything odd is happening and move on. However, just then, Jellie meowed, confused by what Mumbo was doing. 

    Everyone froze (again). Mumbo gently put Jellie down, but he heard another crunch! above them. Evidently everyone else had heard it too, because they all stared at the ceiling with varying levels of shock on their faces.

      Impulse starred wildly waving his hands around and pointed to his communicator. He showed them all the screen. The messages were glitched out and obscured with static, but the Boatem members could make out a few scattered words and letters.

l̴̶e̶̵x̴̴]̷͠:̷̡ t̷̸̸̢̛͢͠h̴̴̢̢̢͢͢͞e̶̴̕͞͡҉̴ m͞il͝f ̷b͘e͟ņ ̨s͟h̛a͠p̶i͢ŗo͏ ̶̷͘͟͡͡͡c̕a͜͠n̶̢̨̧͘͟͝͠ ̶̵͏̴̡͢͠w̴̧̡͜͞͏̢̕a̡͝͏̷̶͘͜͡i̡͘͟҉̴̧̧͞ţ̷̨̕͜҉͝ ̴̛͢͞҉̡g̶̸̵̸̶̡͘u̶̢̡͘͜͠͞y̶̶̡̕͡͞͠s̵̢̨͘͜͞͞͞ ̨̛̛͟͢͡҉

̵̶̸̢͜͡͝͞[͜͏l͢͝e͜͜x̕҉]̛͢:̨͜ ̷̛w͝͏ȩ͟rę̛ ̵s̡͟u͜͞p̢̛p͝͡o͟͞s͏̷e͘͜d̴̵ ̛͜͢͝҉҉͞ţ̷̸͢͠͝͏ǫ͘҉҉̶̷͟͞ ̸̨̢̧͢͜͜҉h̵̡͢͢͜͠͝͠a̧͞͝҉̸͏͝҉v̶̷̡̕͘͜͝e̡̧̢̕͜͝ ͢͝͏̛͟͏a̴̵̷̧͟͟͜͝ ͏̸̧͘͡͏g̴̴̵̢̡҉̵o҉̵̴̧̧̡̛o̧͘͟͠͏̷҉̴d͏̛҉̷̢̡͟͟ ̷̧̕҉̵̵̵f̴̷̢̢̨͜͟͝i҉͘҉͜͟͠͠r̨͜͠͏̕͟͞s̶̶̴̛͘̕͘t̸҉̷̵͢͞͠͞ ̵̶̨̢̡̨͘͟i͏̸̴̷͢͡͡͡m̷̶̧̡̡͞͝͠p̢̕r̨͡e̷ş͝s͢͞i̸̛͞͠͏̕͡ǫ̴̵̴̕͡n͢͢͞͏҉͘͞ ̸͘͘͘͜͢͠o̡̧͡͏̶r̸͢͢͟͡͠͠ ̵͟͟҉͢s̶͝m̢͢t̶͞h̛҉n̵͏

̶̨̛͘͡͡͝҉[̶̶̨̛͟͠͞͠j҉̶̴̕͟͟͢͠a̴̶̴̡̛͜͡d͏̴̸̸͟͜͡e͘͏̵̨̨͟͠͝]̷̵͜͠҉̕͡:̵̢͘͡͠͠͠ ̸̧̡̢̛͟͏ ̕͏y҉o̷͡u̸̢r͘͟ ͘͡m͜͡ǫ͞m̸͟s̷̵̡̕͜͢͝͡ ̵҉̴̵̨͘͝a̶̵̢̛̕̕͠͠ ̢͞͏̛͘͜͠g̡̢̛͟͜͠͝͡ǫ̷̵̛̕͢͢͠o̶̶̕̕͢͜͝d̵̷̡̕͟͡҉ ̴̷̢̨̧̕͜͜f͠͏̸̨̧̛͜͡i͏̸҉͏̷̡͠r̨̡̨̛̕͞͞s̴̨̕͟͝҉̷t̵̴̵̨̢͡͞͡ ̷̶̸̧͟͟͞i̴̴̶̵̛̕̕͢m̴̶̧̡̡̛҉p҉̸̢̨̕͟͜ŗ̶̸̷͝͠͡͡e̶͟͠҉҉s̵҉̶͠҉̵̛s̶̴̷̶͝͠i͏̴̶̷̨̨͢͟o̷̴̵̷̵͞͝n̶̛͢͢͝͏͏ ̴̷̛͢͜͝͏

“WHAT??” Grian shout-whispered before putting his hands over his mouth. Mumbo was waving his hands around but it was too late; the rustling from outside had stopped.

“Hello?” a voice called out. “Hello??! I’m not gonna hurt you. Unless you’re another crazy angel person.”

Grian paled at this, which was odd for the avian, but Mumbo didn’t dare ask him why. He pointed again to Pearl and pointed forcefully at the hole. Pearl didn’t even look up from her communicator, and just made shooing motions towards Mumbo.

It was Scar who pointed at Mumbo this time. Mumbo shook his head forcefully and pointed right back at Scar, who gestured at the purring Jellie settled on his lap as if to say Well I can’t move her now! 

With a sigh Mumbo acquiesced; he crept to the front of the hole as quietly as he could manage and tentatively peeked outside. 

A pitch black eye stared back.

Chapter Text

    Jerking back in shock, Mumbo slipped on the rain-slick floor and fell back with a thump.

    “Shit- sorry dude, didn’t mean to scare you. You alright? That looked like it hurt.” the stranger asked. They dug out more dirt, making a large enough hole to see their face. They had pale skin, and their eyes were glossy black. The left side of their hair was a light brown, almost tan, while the right side was pure white, and their hair was cut in a bob. 

    “Uh. Yeah, yeah, I’m ok. Just- you just caught me off guard there.”

    “Well hello there stranger! What might your name be?” Scar interjected.

    “Oh, I’m Lex! Xe/xym or it/its please. What’s y'all’s names?”

They all introduced themselves as Lex guided them out of their cave and into a lovely birch forest. Wow, this place is actually a lot nicer in the daytime, Mumbo realized. And when he’s not soaking wet and panicking.

“So- where are we?” Impulse asked.

“And if you don’t mind me asking… what exactly are you? Because you’ve got avian wings, but I’ve never seen an avian with that sort of tail before? Or fangs,” Pearl added.

Pearl was right—Lex was an…interesting creature. It wasn’t obvious what species xe was; xyr features were a mix of crow’s wings, a long, tufted tail, clawed avian legs, and the pitch black eyes of a creeper. Its height was constantly shifting, seemingly with every step, and xe was constantly in motion—bouncing xyr leg, fluttering xyr wings, or tracing shapes with its tail.

“You’re in the Society SMP! It’s just me, Fish—they’re the admin, Jade, Yeti, and Mariposa. As for what I am… eh. I’m not really sure to be honest. I grew up in the End, but I’m pretty sure I’m not an enderman. But yeah, I guess I do look pretty avian!”

The chatter continued as they walked; Lex was all too happy to explain the scattered builds and farms. None of them were on nearly the same scale as Mumbo was used to on Hermitcraft, but they were well-constructed and clearly had a lot of love put into them.

“So! Here’s the main area where we all live,” Lex explained as xe led the group through a small valley. Various farms—beetroot, wheat, sugarcane—dotted the landscape and glowberry vines adorned the cliff faces. Its hands flew around as it gestured towards different buildings. “The clock tower is mine, the gaze boob is over there is where we hold community meetings—which you’re welcome to attend while you’re here—there’s the Joker’s house…uhh…what else is there…”

“Where are the MILF Ben Shaprios?” Grian asked. “Sounds…well I’m not sure what that is. But I wanna know!”

Lex smiled at Grian with inhuman fangs. “Love your enthusiasm! It’s just a bunch of axolotls that Fish spawns in every once in a while. They’re all named ‘milf ben shapiro,’—most of them are over in a lake by Jade’s house.”

Mumbo decided to ignore all of the…oddities about this place. “You’re- awfully calm about this whole thing,” Mumbo noted. “Do random people just show up all the time?”

“Well, not 24/7, but yeah. Like, once a month or so. None of us really know why.” Lex shrugged. “It just sorta happens. Everyone has their own ideas about what causes it. Fish, the admin, hasn’t said anything concrete. But I-” it stretched before continuing, “-have no fuckin idea.” 

“But hey!” xe said, walking up to Mumbo. “We shapeshifters have to be flexible, yknow?”

“Wha-? I’m not a shapeshifter,” Mumbo spluttered, caught off guard. “I’m just-just a regular human dude! No, everyone else in Boatem is a crazy creature, but I’m-I’m just a guy!! What are you talking about?!”

“If you’re lying, then you’re a terrible liar.” Before Lex could go on, Pearl interrupted.

“I don’t think Mumbo’s a shapeshifter. Yeah, sure, odd things have happened, but the bloody moon crashed into the world last season! So it probably wasn’t him.” 

“Exactly!! And Mumbo would’ve probably known by now too if he was,” Scar said. “Shapeshifters aren’t super common, but I feel like you’d be able to tell.”

Grian looked at Mumbo questioningly. “I mean…you did steal my soul after you turned into a pig. And had really small magpie wings for a bit.”

“Wait- I did???” What in the-I just got a waffle from Grian! How did I get magpie wings without noticing?? Disoriented, Mumbo asked “When did you see them? And-and how did I not notice.” 

Lex was clearly confused. “The moon crashed into…what?? He stole your soul- y'know what, not gonna ask.” 

Xe shook their head and silently studied the five of them for a bit. “So…Pearl is a pearl kite avian, Impulse is a demon, Scar is a human but has something to do with vexes I think?? And you…” xe rounded on Grian but hesitated. “You’re…a magpie avian.” 

The Boatem members were shocked. Well, everyone except for Grain, who looked...relieved? That’s odd. He’s clearly a magpie avian, anyone could tell you that. 

“How-how did you know that?” Scar asked, interrupting Mumbo’s thoughts. “I-don’t usually tell people about my…uh, abilities.” 

“Yeah, and my horns are hidden under my hat!” Impulse exclaimed. “Your ability is amazing. And terrifying!”

“Comes with being a shapeshifter.” Lex stared at Mumbo. “So, he's a shapeshifter too?” 

“But I’m not!!” Mumbo said. 

Before anyone could say anything else, a loud SCREECH! erupted from Lex’s pocket. 

Lex pulled out xyr communicator and stared at the screen. “Ah.” 

The five Boatem members stared, before Pearl said, “Uh…all of our communicators are broken.”

“Oh, right—sorry about that,” Lex said. Xe showed the group the message that had just popped up. “Guess we’re gonna have a visitor soon.”

 < Jade [exist_maybe] was shot by a Skeleton. >

“Oh, they’re the person who lives near the MILF Lake!!” Grian said.

Lex burst out laughing. “It’s- it’s not called that but- oh my God that’s funny.” “

I mean, if it’s not named, we could call it that…” Scar said innocently.

“Oh my God I love that. I have some signs on me, we could totally go and mess with them.”

Mumbo didn’t really want to meet more new people—he wanted to figure out what on earth was going on. “Uhm, Boatem, why don’t we uh-have a business meeting? Alone?”

He looked towards Lex for approval, and xe nodded. “You guys go ahead. Just don’t run off, it won’t do you any good. We’re the only players around for miles.”

Unnerved at this but still determined, Mumbo herded everyone towards the gazebo structure. There’s no way it’s actually called the “gaze boob”...right?

Chapter Text

The Boatem members squeezed through the gate into the gazebo, which had a sign placed in the middle that declared the building to be “the gaze boob”. Huh, guess it is called the gaze boob. There were a bunch of cows in the middle—Mumbo couldn’t tell if this was an attempt at an actual cow farm or if they were a wild herd that just wandered in.

“What’s the meeting for, Mumbo?” Grian asked. “That Lex person seemed nice.”

Mumbo sighed. “Yes, I agree but…we should be more cautious. We fell through the void into a random world with only 5 other players and no hermits! Or Xisuma!”

“Can we try to contact any of the other Hermits?” Grian asked. “We could ask to borrow someone’s comm and try to contact Xusima or any other hermit.”

“Yeah but- Xusima has told us to never contact him when he’s looking for a new world.” Mumbo was stressed, and it showed as his voice cracked. “And we won’t know when he’s done either, because we most likely won’t receive any updates since those are connected to our specific communicators, and they’re all busted.” What’re we gonna do?

“That’s—wait don’t we have to talk to the co-admin when something like this happens?” Grain asked. “Isn’t that Joe?”

“Oh yeah!” Scar lit up. “Uh-does anyone remember his comm number?

Mumbo had never been so disappointed to hear complete silence from the other Boatem members. “I think it had an @ symbol in it?” Grian supplied.

Pearl shoved her hands in her hoodie pocket and broke the troubling silence. “I mean, Mumbo has a point. We don’t know anything about these guys, and while they seem nice, who knows if- I dunno, they could be up to something.”

“Aww, c’mon, what’s a bit of adventure without risk!” Scar said jovially. 

There’s nothing but risk in this place , Mumbo thought. We don’t know anything about it. But he held his tongue, and looked over at Impulse. “What do you think, Impulse? You haven’t said much.”

Impulse was adjusting his bow tie, but he straightened up and looked around when Mumbo said his name. “Oh, I was just thinking- what about those other people that Lex mentioned? Yeti and…Mariposa, right?” Impulse said. “We could ask about them!”

“I guess, but we don’t really know anything about them either,” Mumbo said. “Plus they’re not on the server, so Lex could just- lie about them.”

“Wait, what about the admin?” Pearl asked. “I think Lex said that they were… a fish?”

Mumbo put his head in his hands. “Of course the admin is a fish…”

“Aw, don’t be like that Mumbo! Maybe they’re a talking fish.” 

“Oh yes, because that’s so much better, Grian.” Mumbo cracked his knuckles (a nervous habit—he’d been itching to do it ever since they got here), and looked around at Boatem. “Okay, what- what do we concretely know about these people?” 

“Lex knew all of our species, even Impulse’s” Scar said. “Though- I don’t like that xe knew about my vex magic. There’s no way for xym to tell! Or, there shouldn’t be…” he added, brow furrowed.

“Yeah, that was weird . And it knew about that, but still thought I was a shapeshifter! Where did that even come from??”

“We don’t know what species Lex is either,” Impulse added. “I mean—it seems like xey don’t even know!”

“It’s odd but- I dunno.” Pearl shrugged. “Maybe xe already knows who we are. We’re not exactly nobodies.”

“Probably, but again what about Scar’s vex magic?” Mumbo wrung his hands, seeing as his knuckles were all cracked and he didn’t have any redstone gadgets to fiddle with. “Nobody knows about that.”

Grian frowned. “Maybe xey made a deal with-well not the devil , but someone with magic Or a vex or something. You get to know who everyone is, but you don’t know who you are. 

“No, they don’t have the signs.” Scar shook his head. “And it does seem like a shapeshifter, so it’s not lying about that.” 

Mumbo sighed. “Okay-Lex aside, do we know anything else about anyone else here?”

“I mean, I wanna go and mess with- I mean meet this Jade person.” Grian stretched his wings, trying not to hit the cows crowding the gazebo. “They’re the only other person on the server at the moment, so talking to everyone else is-y’know, we can’t really do that right now.”

“Wonder what they’re like?” Impulse said. “But maybe we should meet the admin first. I need to know if they’re actually a fish or not.”

“Guys, we can’t do this now. We need to figure out what to-”

Before Mumbo could go on, he was interrupted with a distant yell coming from the geode-themed house across the plain.

Chapter Text

“FISH I SWEAR TO GOD-“ 

Someone teleported behind them laughing, making everyone jump. They were human- well, mostly. They had fins in place of ears, and dark blue scales lined under their eyes and formed a bridge over their nose. Their light brown hair was shoulder length and shaggy, and their eyes were dark brown. When they put a hand on Mumbo’s shoulder, he noticed that there was blue webbing in between their fingers.

“Oh- Oh my God that was great,” the person said, still chuckling. 

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Mumbo asked.

“Oh-” the person looked up at him and stared at everyone in the gazebo. “Ah, shit. I meant to teleport to Lex, sorry for scaring you guys.”

“Ooh, are you an enderman hybrid?” Scar asked. “I haven’t heard of an enderman hybrid who’s actually able to control their teleportation.”

“Uhh-no! I’m not an enderman hybrid, I’m the Admin of this place! The name’s Fish, any pronouns,” they said, holding out their hand for a handshake and seemingly not noticing the shocked look on everyone’s faces.

Mumbo took an involuntary step away from Fish. An Admin abusing their powers… Xisuma has told stories about them. It never ends well. The other Boatem members were looking at each other too—none of them knew what to make of it, Mumbo could see that.

Fish held out their hand for a moment too long, before awkwardly pulling it back. “So, uh- welcome to the Society SMP! Are you guys the ‘visitors’ that Lex mentioned?”

“Well- I guess so? And sorry if this is rude or anything but WHY are you teleporting around??” Grian said angrily. “As an Admin of a few servers myself, I don’t know how you could just- I don’t know, use your powers so irresponsibly!!” 

He had gotten extremely close to Fish, and even though he was a good head shorter than them, his wings had puffed up and there was a fighting gleam in his eye. Fish stared down at him, an unimpressed look on their face.

“Pftt. What’re you going to do, fight me about it?” she asked. “Those old gods don’t know anything. It’s a bunch of bullshit.”

“Why, you-” Grian was pulling up his sleeves and was about to jump when Impulse rushed forwards and grabbed him. 

Pearl rushed forward and also held back Grian. “Alright let’s- let’s calm down now, Grian,” she said. She tried to give an apologetic smile to Fish, but given that she was holding back Grian (who was thrashing around like a rabid animal) and that she couldn’t get the look of surprise and fear off of her face, it wasn’t super effective. “Sorry about that, my brother can get a bit crazy sometimes.”

Just as Mumbo was about to suggest that they leave for a bit (again), Lex spotted the group. “Hey- what the hell are you guys doing over there???” Lex called. It took a running start and flew over, only narrowly missing one of the wooden posts supporting the roof. Unfortunately, xe wasn’t able to miss Fish, and crashed directly into him. The two of them tumbled to the ground in a tangle of limbs—Mumbo had to jump back to avoid getting hit by Lex’s floundering tail.

“OW- fuck- sorry Fish,” Lex said, lying face-up on the floor. 

Fish jumped up quickly with no visible wounds—he didn’t even look dazed. “Ah, it’s fine don’t worry about it.” He grabbed Lex’s hand and pulled xym up onto xyr feet. “You need any food?” 

 “Nah, I’m good. T’was fishing earlier, I’ve got some salmon. But more importantly—why did Grian look like he was gonna deck you?” 

“Oh, I still want to!!” Grian cried. Impulse and Pearl had let him go when Lex arrived, but he was still glaring at Fish.

Mumbo quickly walked in front of Grian and held up his hands. “No, no, we don’t-we’re not gonna punch you guys! I’m so sorry, Grian’s- he can get a bit feisty.”

Lex took a bite out of the salmon in its hand and nodded. “I can respect that. But what did Fish do?”

“Oh- nothing!!” Fish said quickly. “I just made a joke that none of these guys understand.” They gave a pointed glare to the Boatem members. Why are they acting like WE’RE in the wrong?? They’re the one being the bad admin. Mumbo would have to ask Grian about what exactly Fish was doing wrong, but from the way the two of them were acting he could tell that something was up.

Lex looked to Fish, and then Mumbo. Oh no, am I the leader to xym? “Ohhhh-kay then. I’ll leave whatever’s going on to you guys. Wait, do you guys need any food?” xe said, pointing at Boatem with the salmon.

“Yes please! We haven’t had any since we got here,” Scar said. 

While Boatem ate, Lex and Fish continued to chat  

 “You need anything Lex?” the admin asked.

“Nah, I’m good. Just heard the hubbub and wanted to know what was goin’ on” Lex pulled out another salmon and started eating it. In between bites, they asked, “So what was Jade yelling about? And why did Grian look like he was gonna maul you? Must’ve been some joke you made. ” 

“I have no idea, frankly,” Fish replied with an entirely unconvincing look of innocence on their face, “must be a misunderstanding.”

Lex heaved a sigh. “Goddamnit, what have you done now…” 

“FILL MY HOUSE WITH MILF BEN SHAPIROS, THAT’S WHAT!!” the voice from before yelled abruptly. Looking over, Mumbo could make out a figure near the geode house, hoisting a bucket and walking to the lake.

“Ah.”

“Yeah, I wanted to add more.” Fish grinned.  “Dug up their floor and grabbed some more MILF Ben Shapiros, the rest is history.” 

Lex scoffed. “Oh yeah, and Grian and Scar and I are gonna go and add a sign declaring the lake to be ‘MILF Lake.’” 

“Oh my God that’s amazing,” Fish said through their chuckles. 

Impulse spoke up. “So, uh, what should we do now?” 

“I mean, I could give you guys a tour of the place,” Fish offered. “Talk about the server’s rich history and fantastical landmarks .” Mumbo could see Lex stifling their laughter. 

“And Scar and Grian, you can hang with me. You could talk to Jade, label the lake, and get a superior tour!” 

The Boatem members looked at each other. “Uhm- how long d’you think we’ll be here?” Pearl asked. 

Lex shrugged. “Depends. Are you guys wanderers, or do you have somewhere you need to be?”

Mumbo nodded. “Yeah, we’re usually on a server with a few other people. We typically settle down for a bit, build some stuff, and then follow the admin whenever we all agree to move.” 

“But something, uh, something happened with the last server.” Scar looked off to the side and twiddled his thumbs. “So the circumstances are a bit weird.” 

“Oh wait yeah,” Lex said, “didn’t the fuckin’ moon crash into your server or something?”

“Wait WHAT?” Fish looked at the Boatem members. “Did it-“

“Yeah, Mumbo started a cult, they all tried to kill me, it’s all in the past,” Pearl rushed out. “Anyways—d’you think I should build a starter base?” 

“I- yeah, I guess so,” said a flabbergasted Fish. “No idea how long you’ll be here but yeah, that’d probably be for the best. It’s kinda up to chance how long it’ll take before the world border lets you out again.” 

“Alright!” Pearl said, looking excited to build but still somewhat worried. “I’ll be off- oh, actually, do you have any spare communicators? All of ours are broken.”

“Ah, sorry about that, I should’ve given them to you earlier!” She closed her eyes, and Fish materialized 5 new communicators and handed them out to Boatem. “You guys should be whitelisted now too. Let me know if something doesn’t work.”

After Boatem gave their (reluctant, in Grian’s case) thanks, they split up to get settled. Mumbo and Impulse followed Fish as he led them towards a carved marble staircase, and Pearl headed off towards the forest to get materials for a starter base. Which left Grian (who seemed a bit more relaxed now that Fish was out of view) and Scar still in the gazebo with Lex, who was eyeing the hills to the west with a frankly disturbing smirk.