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He doesn't startle when he hears footsteps behind him, or when those footsteps come to a stop next to him; he doesn't even startle when a heavy hand falls on his shoulder, even though at any point before today, he probably would have.
Not today, though.
He doesn't look. He doesn't really need to. He recognizes the sound of the footsteps, the shape of the hand, the weight on his shoulder. He'd recognize him without senses, and he wishes he was more upset about that than he is.
(He doesn't want to admit that he doesn't look, partly, because he can't bring himself to look away.)
Next to him, Dream lets out a sigh, sounding vaguely disappointed. Any other day Tommy would be upset about that, or angry.
Not today, though.
"I told you this would happen," Dream says, voice raspy next to his ear. Tommy doesn't flinch. "I told you they were better off without you."
When Dream said this to Tommy for the first time, he'd argued. He'd fought with everything he had against the idea, not because he didn't believe it, but because he didn't want to believe it. No matter what, there was always a part of him that refused to give up and agree with Dream. There was always someone who cared, even if no one else did.
Wilbur cared, then Tubbo. Then Ranboo, and Techno. Even Phil. Every time Dream would say everyone was better off without him, Tommy would think about one of them, and that tiny voice in his heart would get just loud enough to quiet everything else. Even for a second.
The voice is very quiet today.
"I told you I do the things I do for a reason." Dream moves his hand up and down Tommy's arm, a comforting gesture, or that's what he assumes Dream's going for anyway. "I told you that you're the reason they're unhappy. And now that you're not there anymore, look how happy they are!"
They are, and that's why Tommy can't bear to look away.
He'd been coming over to ask Phil about something again, but he'd stopped in his tracks before even leaving the woods. That had been two minutes, two hours, two days ago; he's not really sure. But he knows he hasn't kept his eyes off them since he got here.
Why would he, after all? When everything he's ever loved is right in front of him.
The first thing he sees is, unsurprisingly, Tubbo. There was a time when Tubbo was all he could see, and he guesses old habits die hard. He's currently running around, Michael on his shoulders as the kid waves a wooden sword around, laughing hysterically and using Tubbo's horn to indicate where he wants to go. Tubbo asks him loudly what they should do, and Michael makes a sound that even Tommy, from when he's standing, understands to mean "forward!".
Right in front of them, his back to the house, fighting stance at the ready and wooden sword too small for his hands, is Technoblade. Tommy's seen him with a sword in his hand many times and some of those times he was even smiling; but never like this. Technoblade's expression as he looks at Michael and Tubbo is... fond. Fond in a way Tommy didn't know Techno was capable of. He looks like there's nothing else he'd rather be doing than play fighting with his worst enemy and his kid.
Ex-worst enemy, Tommy guesses.
(If Tommy was a more bitter person, or if he could feel anything but cold numbness right now, he'd wonder why it had taken them this long to make up. Why he had to choose between them when this was an option.)
Tubbo runs towards Techno, Michael screaming happily, and as Techno takes a couple of steps back, Ghostboo materializes out of nowhere, tripping Techno and making him fall backwards into the snow. It's at this point that Michael decides Tubbo isn't nearly as fast as he needs him to be and leaps forward from Tubbo's shoulders onto Techno.
Thankfully, Technoblade recovers quickly and extends his arms, catching Michael in his hands just before he lands on Techno's face. Michael seems undeterred by this, simply hitting Techno's head with the sword and squealing happily.
Techno takes one look at him and then drops his arms, letting Michael land on his chest and dramatically acting out his own death. Michael laughs so hard that he falls head first into the snow, and Tubbo and Ghostboo's laughter is so loud Tommy feels the vibrations in his chest.
After Michael's recovered, he sits back up, head covered in snow, and climbs on top of Techno's chest, shaking him until he stops faking and laughs. Then, he takes Michael into his arms and stands up, saying something Tommy can't make out but which makes Michael smile so wide it has to hurt.
Next to them, Ghostboo's made his way to Tubbo and is handing him what Tommy recognizes as a pink tulip; Tubbo's favorite. Tommy doesn't need to look closely to know Tubbo's blushing, the same way he doesn't have to see Ranboo's face to know expression he's wearing. He doesn't think Ranboo could stop looking at Tubbo that way, even after death.
Techno loudly declares something that makes Tubbo go even redder and yell back while walking angrily towards him. That's the moment Tommy realizes Tubbo's not wearing his Snowchester clothes. He's wearing blue and white.
The colors of the Antarctic Empire.
Before Tommy can think about it too much, he hears Phil's voice coming from inside the house. Phil's next to the window, so he gets a good look at him. He looks... content. Really content, not that fake thing he usually gives people. And behind him, sat on a chair at the table is…
Wilbur.
Wilbur makes a comment, and Tommy only knows he does because Phil frowns in that fond way he only does when Wilbur's involved. They bicker, and Tommy thinks this is the most he's ever seen them talk in the time he's known them. Then Wilbur says something and Phil laughs, head tilted back as his shoulders shake. He also doesn't need to see Wilbur's face to know what his expression looks like right now. He's seen it in himself whenever he makes Wilbur proud. Made Wilbur proud.
When he finally calms down, Phil leans out of the window and yells again. Techno yells back, and he says something to Tubbo before walking back to the house, Michael cuddled in his arms. Tubbo and Ranboo follow soon after, walking side by side.
That's where Dream finds him, looking through the window like a creep as they have dinner. And he feels... nothing.
(There's a voice in his mind that sounds suspiciously like Puffy's that says that it's a trauma response, a coping mechanism. But he can't really hear it as well as he usually does.)
He doesn't know how long he's gone without responding to Dream, but he seems to get impatient, because he keeps going.
"You know, they could be this happy forever." His hand is now on top of Tommy's head. Tommy's whole body goes warm at the touch. "If you do what I say, and leave them be."
And the thing is, he's right. Dream's right. Tommy could argue and argue forever but the truth wouldn't change. He was exiled, and the second he came back he broke Tubbo and Techno; destroyed L'Manberg. Then, he died. And when he came back he couldn't stop himself from getting between Tubbo and Ranboo, and then Ranboo ended up dead.
And now, he's been away and they're all... happy. Tubbo and Techno get along again. Ranboo seems more alive than he's ever seen him. Even Wilbur looks... healthier, now.
All this time he's spent fighting and, after everything, Dream is right.
"And you won't touch them?" He asks, because he has to, even now. That's all he cares about. That's all he's ever cared about.
"Of course not. I would never," Dream says, putting his arm around Tommy's shoulder and pressing him against his side. Tommy sags a little. "All I ever wanted was to protect them from you, you know?"
"Yeah."
"You know I do this for you, right?" He whispers into Tommy's ear, softly. "That they won't ever love you how you love them?"
"I know, Dream."
"Let's go, then," he says, giving Tommy one last pat on the back before turning around and walking away.
Tommy looks at the house one last time, trying to memorize it all. The way the snow falls softly onto the ground, the sounds of the animals preparing for the night. The warm glow of the light coming from the windows, the faint laughter he can just barely make out. A wooden sword, a pink tulip, a shriek of laughter and a sense of pride.
"Okay."
He walks away, and he never looks back.