Chapter Text
White lights burned holes against Dream’s skin as flashes blinded him over and over again. Loud music flooded his ears, the lyrics drowned out by the harsh snaps of cameras. It was too loud, too bright, hurt too much. Dream wanted to be gone gone gone.
“We’re calling it!” a voice rang out, music cutting off as the air stilled. Gentle hands wrapped against Dream’s wrist, guiding him away from the stool which he’d previously been sagging against. He barely felt as hands brushed against his cheeks, pulling skin as though trying to reveal the bones and tissue beneath. Layers of fine tuned perfection, that slimmed his nose and sharpened his cheeks, wiped away with painted nails and wet cloths.
Dream’s eyes were starting to glaze, focus turning to calming his too-fast heart, as a strong hand wrapped around his shoulder. The hand, meant to be a comfort, felt nothing short of a clamp, the warmth like lava being dripped along his arm. He needed it off him, away, anywhere but there, but couldn’t get his voice past the lump in his throat. So he sat silently, letting the lava spill over him and hands tear at him, trying not to let the pressure in his chest crush his ribs.
Distantly, through the ringing in his ears, Dream could hear his manager. “Thank you for understanding. It’s his first shoot, so I’m sure you can understand it’s just a tad overwhelming. Let’s reschedule, yeah?” Punz’s finger tapped against his shoulder, the grip never loosening. Dream felt himself nodding, a sheepish smile spreading across his face as autopilot began to take over.
“Yeah, that’d be great. Not too sure what happened, I’ll be honest,” a mechanic breathy laugh forced its way past Dream’s lips. Dream felt himself sinking in deeper, like warm tar wrapping against his limbs and pulling him deeper into himself, letting the smoke and mirrors take its place.
The photographer, a shorter girl by the name of Tina, waved him off delicately. “Don’t worry about it, modelling is very different from acting. Oh, actually,” she clasped her hands together, letting the camera drop against her stomach and pull at her neck. “We have a model coming in later this week, George. We’ve been looking for someone for him to pose against. Your face won’t be in it, you’d only need to be seen from the neck down,” she was quick to add. She waved over a slightly taller girl, blonde with a bright smile.
Clipboard tucked against an arm, phone pressed against an ear, the girl gave a curt goodbye before smiling at them. “This is my assistant, Brooke,” Tina continued. “If you’re up to it, give her a call before…” she trailed off, giving a glance to Brooke, who showed her the clipboard and drew a circle around a date. “Thursday. The shoot’s on Saturday, which gives you time to think. Honestly, we’d only need you for a couple of shots so this would give you some practice before we schedule your next shoot.”
The lava finally drifted from his shoulder, as Punz reached out for a handshake with Brooke. “That’d be great, I’ll be in contact with our decision.”
As they exchanged numbers, Dream felt a buzz against his thigh. Pulling out his phone, he read a message from Sapnap. Out back, you done?
Dream’s fingers were quick in their response. Yeah, Punz is rescheduling and getting info. Be out in 10? Dream fought the urge to gnaw against his thumbnail as he watched Sapnap’s grey bubbles appear, disappear, then reappear. Sure.
Dream rolled his eyes. All that anxiety for one word, he thought, tucking his phone back into his pocket.
“Sapnap here?” Punz asked, now directing questions to Dream.
He hummed. “Yeah, but I told him it’d be a little so take your time, he can wait.”
Punz’s responding chuckle was tinted with just a bit of exasperation. “Doesn’t he have a shoot right now?”
“Nah, some of the costumes weren’t done right so they have to resize and redesign them. His shoot was moved to next week.” Dream pushed a hand through carefully crafted strands. “He wanted to spend some time with his boyfriend, I guess.”
Punz let out a laugh as Dream caught the way Tina’s and Brooke’s eyebrows briefly arched. “Alright, Brooke we’ll be in contact, and Tina, thank you so much for everything. We’ll talk again soon!” Punz reached out for a final handshake to the girls and Dream followed suit, movements starting to smooth out now that he was leaving.
“Thank you, so sorry for the trouble again,” he said nervously, giving both girls brief hugs. They were quick to reassure him, honey-coated tones used to settle his nerves, and the pair were out the studio, in the lobby and out the back entrance in minutes. Punz gave him a brief rundown, promising to reconnect later that night, and was off in his shiny black Audi. A very conspicuous white Range Rover sat waiting for him, a man in a black hoodie leaning against it.
“Really? You took the Range Rover?” Dream asked, approaching with his own hood pulled over his head.
“Would you have rathered the Lambo?”
“Well, no. But-”
Sapnap cut him off. “Exactly, now get in before someone sees.”
Dream huffed out a sigh but climbed in anyways, Sapnap settling into the driver’s side and pulling the car onto the main road. As they drove past, Dream saw the swarm of people out front, the security standing like the King’s Guard as reporters threw questions, and teen girls begged to be let in. Neither Sapnap or Dream spoke until they were well past the building, sighs of relief shuddering from them.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” Dream said.
Sapnap nodded in agreement. “I love the fans, don’t get me wrong. But the paparazzi?”
“Fucking weirdos,” the boys said in unison. Both laughed; they’ve had this conversation countless times. No one liked the press; they were invasive, disrespectful, and honestly the world would do better without them.
“How’d the shoot go?” Sapnap asked, turning onto a side road that Dream vaguely recognized.
He let out a sigh and let his head fall against Sapnap’s shoulder. “Shit. I got a panic attack mid way through, Punz called it all off, rescheduled it.” Dream leaned into the hand that snaked around him, briefly petting his hair. He stayed quiet, letting Dream continue. “I dunno what it was. I’m great in front of cameras; always have been. That’s why I am where I am now. But there’s a different sort of pressure when you're just standing there as thirty people centre all their focus on you and adjust lights and watch your every move. It makes you feel tiny, yet also important in a way. Maybe it’s cause I blew up so fast that it feels like this, but it almost felt like everyone was sitting there waiting for me to fuck up, you know?” He felt rather than saw the younger boy nod.
The two sat in careful silence, Sapnap letting Dream experience his emotions and Dream letting Sapnap drive, chewing on the weight of Dream’s words. As Dream stared out the window, watching the houses begin to turn back into colossus towers of glass, clawing their way to the heavens above, he finally spoke.
“We going to Karl’s?”
“Yeah,” Sapnap murmured, as though not to disturb the quiet air of the car. “He invited us over for dinner with the guys, remember?”
“No, but I have been pretty spacey this week.”
“Okay, I wasn’t gonna say anything but if you’re the one saying it…”
Dream choked out a laugh. “Sapnap!” His head lifted as a hand swatted Sapnap’s arm, earning him a caw of laughter. The rest of the ride was filled with gentle chatter, talks that you could only have with your best friend, on the way to your other friend’s house, at 7:47pm on a Sunday evening in July.