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“Zeref’s been defeated,” Gray said needlessly as the Book of E.N.D vanished from the spot where they had placed it just moments earlier.
But did that mean…
If Natsu kills Zeref… it will cost him his life?!
Those were the first words Gray had heard when he’d come to in the makeshift infirmary Porlyusica had set up, and they had sent him scrambling after Zeref. Even though he’d been the one who had tried to kill Natsu earlier.
He’d been so distraught over Juvia giving up her life for him that he’d let Invel manipulate him into using his new powers to attack the person he loved most. It was something he couldn’t forgive himself for, even though he’d been just as sure that Natsu already had.
But Gray knew he didn’t deserve to be forgiven, so he’d set out to confront Zeref, determined to at least protect Natsu from the cruel fate that awaited him. There was one magic spell that could both stop Zeref and save Natsu, and Gray was more than willing to use it, even if it went against his promise.
He would give his life so that Natsu could live on, just as countless others had done for him. And in doing so, Gray would spare him the grief of remembering him.
That had been his plan, but Natsu had refused to let him go through with it. Just as he had every other time.
Don’t die… Don’t you even try it! Keep on living! Dammit...
Natsu had never been one to cry lightly and his tears had shocked Gray even more than his pleas. The last time he’d seen Natsu cry had been after Igneel had…
Did he really mean that much to him? Could it be that despite their fights and constant insults, Natsu felt the same?
Gray stared at the place where the book of E.N.D. had been and found he could barely breathe in its absence. All the feelings that he’d pushed aside for far too long threatened to consume him in a torrent of what ifs.
He heard Lucy sniffle next to him, saw her hugging Happy to her chest, and he tried to come up with something to say. But really, what words would make any of this okay?
Natsu just can’t be gone.
Any moment now, he’s going to show up with that stupid grin of his…
Any moment now…
Gray repeated the words in his head over and over, willing them to come true. Wishing that the stubborn bastard that was such an integral part of his life would beat the odds once more and return to him. To them.
He waited as patiently as he was able for any sign, but there was only silence.
Come on Flame Brain, this isn’t the time for flashy entrances…
Hope morphed into despair as the seconds stretched into minutes and still, nothing happened.
Would things have been different if he’d stayed to fight with him?
He hadn’t wanted to leave Natsu alone to fight Zeref. But he hadn’t been able to ignore the First Master’s call, not when she’d said Natsu’s fate depended on him and Lucy. So he’d put his faith in him like he’d always done and let himself believe Natsu would beat the odds one last time.
It can’t end like this… not again. Not when there are so many things I never got to tell you.
Gray heard a faint noise in the distance, barely loud enough to register, but when he saw Happy turn his head, he knew he hadn’t imagined it. His stomach tightened even as he dared to hope. He saw that same hope reflected in Happy’s eyes, but both remained quiet, not wanting to risk upsetting Lucy further.
The noise grew louder as it got closer, turning into the unmistakable sound of familiar footsteps, and now Lucy looked up as well. There were tears in all of their eyes as Natsu walked toward them with a smile.
“Yo!” He waved, and it took every ounce of self restraint Gray possessed not to run to meet him.
“It’s all over,” Natsu explained when they didn’t reply to his greeting.
Gray struggled to get any words out, settling for an unimpressive, “Yeah,” as he took in the state Natsu was in after his fight with Zeref.
Unsurprisingly, he looked rather beat up. His clothes were in tatters and there were bruises everywhere, but it was his right arm that looked the worst. It had suffered some massive burns, which wasn’t something Gray thought he’d ever see. He’d definitely need to be healed, but none of his injuries seemed to be life threatening.
Gray couldn’t keep from staring in wonder. Had he ever seen Natsu look so beautiful before? His smile... it flooded Gray’s body with a warmth unlike anything he’d ever felt before.
Happy rushed to Natsu, still crying as he fretted over the dragon slayer.
“I’m fine, Happy.”
Gray listened as Natsu bickered with Happy over how the Exceed was getting his snot all over him and he couldn't help but smile at how normal it all seemed.
But he was still worried. Lucy hadn’t exactly known what she was doing when she rewrote that book. How could they be sure Natsu was still the same? Gray studied him, carefully taking in the way he moved and talked. He finally relaxed, satisfied that Natsu was safe as the minutes passed and he couldn’t find any changes. Not even the sadness he felt at hearing the news of the First Master’s passing could lessen his relief.
They’d actually done it!
And as they walked towards the guild together, like they’d done hundreds of times before, Gray decided he wouldn’t wait until the next crisis to tell Natsu how he felt. He had absolutely no idea how, but he was confident he had plenty of time to figure it out.
“The guild’s coming into sight,” Gray remarked, relieved to see it was still standing.
“I was just there,” Natsu said from behind him, “but it feels like I’ve been away too long.”
The excitement in his voice at going to the guild, as present now as when they were kids, amused Gray. He guessed some things never changed, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
They chatted about the things they wanted to do now that the war was over, and it reminded Gray of his promise to Juvia to give her a definite answer. He’d known what it was for a long time, but he’d held off on telling her, not wanting to upset her when she needed her focus.
“I owe Juvia a huge apology.”
He wasn’t looking forward to that, especially considering how she had probably interpreted his actions after he’d thought she’d died to save him, but he couldn’t put it off any longer. If he wanted any chance at a future with Natsu, he had to let her down one last time, and he had to word it strongly enough so that she understood once and for all that he had no romantic interest in her.
Lucy and Happy chuckled nervously and continued on to other topics. He should have realized then it was much too quiet, but he was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice.
“Huh? Natsu…? Where are you..?”
It wasn’t until Happy called out and got no response that they discovered Natsu was nowhere to be seen.
Still, Gray refused to believe he could have just disappeared, not when he’d been right there just a moment earlier. It had to be some sort of cruel joke, or maybe an ill timed prank. Yeah, that had to be it. Only the Flame Brain would be idiotic enough to pull something like that after what they’d just been through.
“Hey.. Quit hiding, it’s not funny…!” Gray called out, but his confidence wavered along with his voice.
“Why?” Lucy whispered, her eyes trained on the ground and her clenched fists trembling at her sides. “Even though I overwrote it…!” She sniffed once, twice, and then collapsed to her knees, breaking out in loud sobs.
“Natsu?” Happy continued to yell, sounding more and more frantic as he flew around in desperate search of his partner. “Where are you?!”
“You’re kidding…” Gray muttered, gaping at the empty street. But despite his words, he knew.
Natsu was gone.
It wasn’t fair; it wasn’t right. They’d just gotten him back!
“NATSU!”
The silence that followed their cries was deafening.
Hey Gray… you’re my friend, right?!
It horrified him to realize that in his shock he hadn’t given Natsu a proper answer. Had never even stopped to think about why he would have felt the need to ask him such a thing in the first place.
Until he remembered the things he’d said during their fight.
In his rage and grief, Gray had cast aside their entire history together. He’d called Natsu a demon, lumping him in with Deliora and the rest of Zeref’s books, and made him responsible for every tragedy in his life. It had been unfair, and he was horribly ashamed for his actions.
Of course I'm your friend, I always have been. You mean the world to me, you idiot!
Oh, how Gray wished he’d said those words while he still could. That even if he never got to tell Natsu how he felt about him, he’d at least offered him that much solace. But he hadn’t, and he would now regret it for the rest of his life.
0-0
Gray didn’t know how long the three of them had stood there staring at the empty street. In a way, time had ceased to have any meaning for him. Every breath he took felt like an eternity spent in grief and regret. Each negative thought chased away a little more of Natsu’s warmth from inside him, replacing it with a familiar darkness. One that had planted its seed in him the moment Deliora killed his parents.
Ur had pushed it back for a short time, and then Natsu had unknowingly taken her place, fending it off for years. But now that they were both gone, Gray couldn’t find the strength to fight it off or even care. At least if he closed himself off, he wouldn’t have to deal with any of the pain.
He would have continued in this vein if a loud noise hadn’t caught his attention. He turned his head slowly to investigate; more out of concern for his guildmates than any actual interest in his own wellbeing.
To his surprise, Erza and Mest materialized behind them with a loud ‘ VWMPH!’
Gray was glad to see Erza was safe, but it was painful, too. Just hours earlier, she’d saved him and Natsu from their worst instincts, and she’d done it by reminding them of the bonds all three of them had shared.
I love both of you! I love you both from the bottom of my heart…
God, how could he even begin to tell her what had happened? It would break her heart. But he had to. After everything they’d been through that day, he owed it to her to be the one to tell her what had happened.
“Erza!”
“There is no time! I’ll explain later!” Erza called out to them. “Follow me!”
He was selfishly glad for the respite, but Lucy spoke up in his place.
“But.. Natsu…”
Gray flinched at her words, still not ready to hear what was coming next out loud. But he was even less prepared for Erza's words.
“Natsu is alive!!” Erza interrupted her, using that no nonsense tone she had.
Natsu was alive?!
But how?
How could she possibly know that? Natsu had been with them and then he was gone…
His heart yearned to believe her, but should he? How much further would he fall if he got his hopes up, only to be disappointed again?
Gray studied Erza carefully, searching for any signs of deception but coming up empty. He bit his lip as he thought it over and came to one conclusion. He trusted Erza more than just about anyone else. If she was convinced that Natsu was alive, then that was good enough for him.
He cleared his mind of all doubts. If there was any chance that she was right, then he was ready to risk it all. He would fight with everything he had to get Natsu back.
All he needed was a target and a direction.
0-0
The adrenaline that rushed through his veins was about the only thing keeping Gray from feeling his fatigue. He wiped at his face, his hand coming away covered in sweat and dirt, but their hard work had paid off. In front of him, in the largely destroyed port of Hargeon, floated the biggest ship he’d ever seen, made entirely out of ice.
“This is the best thing we ever made!” Lyon huffed, out of breath.
Juvia stood next to him, admiring their creation. “It’s as wonderful as you are, Gray-sama! And Lyon-sama!”
Gray ignored her fawning in favor of letting Erza and Mira know they had finished. He couldn't care less what the ship looked like. All he needed was for it to be good enough to contain Acnologia while Lucy and the others cast Fairy Sphere.
“Juvia, use the water to position the boat for them!!” Gray yelled, desperately hoping that for once, the water mage would focus on the task at hand. They would only get one shot at this.
“Yes!!”
Enormous waves formed along the shoreline as Juvia manipulated the seawater, shifting the boat slightly as she waited to see where it would be needed.
He watched with bated breath as Erza requipped into her Heaven’s Wheel armor and took to the air, with Mira not far behind. Mira lured the black dragon with bursts of magic, giving Erza enough time to call upon every weapon in her considerable arsenal. She hurled them all at Acnologia in one massive assault that sent him careening towards the sea.
“Juvia!!”
“Yes!!”
Gray was relieved to see that she’d already gotten started. Her brows furrowed in concentration as she carefully maneuvered the ship to meet Acnologia’s fall.
The black dragon’s landing shattered the ship’s sails, but the deck held firm. Gray immediately raised the anchor, causing the ship to heave on the ocean waves and surrender Acnologia to his motion sickness.
“Lucy, now!!”
Every mage present gathered in a circle, their hands linked just like they’d done in Tenrou, and Lucy called on each of them to release their magic power
Enormous amounts of magic surged all around them as Lucy cast Fairy Sphere, the third of Fairy Tail’s great spells. It formed an orb of bright light all around the ship as it powered up, trapping Acnologia within.
Everyone’s giving it their all down here, Pyro, so wherever you are, you better not be slacking!
Gray could almost hear Natsu’s outraged response to his taunt in his head, and he grinned, eagerly anticipating their reunion. The plan was working. They were going to get Natsu back; they were going to get all the dragon slayers back and this nightmare would finally be over.
And for a brief moment, it seemed like he was right. The sphere continued to glow as the spell powered up, and there were no sounds coming from within. But that soon changed.
A furious roar rang all around them, chilling Gray down to his bones.
“Magic doesn’t work on me!!!” The black dragon rammed his body against the edges of the sphere and it wasn’t long before cracks appeared along its surface.
“You can not defeat the King!!!!” he gloated as the mages strained more and more to hold the spell, but they were no match for his attacks. It was only a matter of time before he would break through the sphere.
Damn it! What else were they supposed to do? Erza had already hit Acnologia with everything she had, and all of them had used up lots of magic during their earlier fights.
They’d survived Acnologia’s wrath on two separate occasions, but it seemed their luck had finally run out. After everything they’d gone through to defeat Zeref and his army, it was ridiculous to believe that even pooling their remaining magic power, they’d scrounge up enough to deal with an even more impossible opponent.
It seemed their borrowed time had finally come to an end.
"We don't have enough… magic power…" Lucy’s shoulders slumped as she came to the same realization.
"Then we'll gather all the power on the continent!!"
Meredy came rushing at them, her wrist held up to show she had activated her sensory link.
“You're already linked,” Meredy told Lucy, “Linked to everyone's magic power… and it's all coming here!”
Gray tuned out their chatter, focusing on squeezing out every last bit of magic out of his body. “This is all the magic we got!!!” He yelled, adding his magic to everyone else’s and feeling Lyon and Juvia do the same.
FAIRY SPHERE!!!
Lucy’s voice reverberated all around them as she cast the spell a second time. The cracks on the sphere filled in and the Fairy Tail symbol appeared on the orb as the spell powered up to its full strength.
“What is this?” Acnologia roared, finding himself suddenly unable to move.
Gray kept his eyes locked on the black dragon, praying that the spell held him long enough for the dragon slayers to finish him.
Come on, guys… we’re all counting on you…
He continued to push his magic out until there were black spots in front of his eyes from the strain. He staggered and felt Lyon grab on to his shoulder.
“You’re pushing yourself too hard,” he scolded.
Gray could only nod, grateful for the added support as he continued his watch. Long minutes passed when suddenly he thought he caught some movement from within the orb.
What the..?
“Did you see that?” He asked Lyon seconds before there was an explosion within the orb.
All around him, he could hear the bewildered words of his guild mates.
“Acbologia just…”
“Broke apart!!!”
“Was it Fairy Sphere?”
But Gray knew better. “No, that was…”
“They did it!” Happy squealed, jumping up and down in excitement.
Everyone soon erupted into wild cheers of celebration, but Gray couldn’t join in. Not yet.
He remembered how beat up Natsu had looked the last time he’d seen him and he fretted. How much power could he have had left after facing Zeref? Gray hadn’t seen the others, but he couldn’t imagine they were in much better shape.
His anxiety exploded as the minutes ticked by and there was no sign of the dragon slayers.
Please Natsu, come back to me, I need you...
A crack opened up in the sky, almost as if in answer to his pleas, and the seven dragon slayers spilled out of it with Natsu at the front. He collided with Lucy and Happy, and they all toppled to the floor in a heap.
“I’m home!!” Natsu grinned.
“Welcome back!!” Lucy and Happy chorused with bright smiles.
Gray closed his eyes in silent thanks and then ran to join them, with Erza not far behind. They jumped on their teammates, both laughing as Lucy protested their added weight. All of them tried to talk at once, but gave up when they found themselves surrounded by the excited cries of the rest of their guildmates.
“Now… let’s go back to the guild!!”
Gray wasn’t sure who said it, but everyone agreed and they soon set off as a group, eager to get back home and put the day’s events behind them.
“I wish Ur could have seen us,” Lyon suddenly spoke up. “She would've loved seeing us work together instead of bickering like we usually did.”
“Yeah,” Gray agreed absently, his attention focused on Natsu as he tried to figure out how he was going to approach him and what he was going to say.
“Just go talk to him.”
Gray stared at Erza with wide eyes, surprised that she would be the one to bring it up.
“What?” Erza shrugged. “You’re not that hard to read.”
“Him?” Lyon studied them curiously.
Gray wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but Erza ratted him out.
“Natsu,” she explained, “They had a fight earlier.”
“Ahhh.”
Gray didn’t like the amused expression on Lyon’s face one bit and he hurried away before the bastard could say whatever was going through his mind. He searched for Natsu in the vast group of mages, deciding to take Erza's advice and just try to talk to him. Not that he even knew where to begin, but what he did know was that once they got back to the guild, he’d lose any chance he might have.
He found Natsu walking and chatting with Sting, Rogue, Lucy and the Exceeds, and quietly joined them.
“Oh, hey Gray,” Lucy smiled at him, but she seemed to lack the energy for any further conversation. Likewise, Sting and Rogue were clinging to each other to stay upright, and only nodded their heads at him in greeting.
Gray responded in kind, falling in step next to Natsu while ignoring Happy’s curious glances. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he scrambled for a plan. He had to get Natsu away from them.
But how?
Nothing really came to mind, so he stopped thinking and just did what he did best. He grabbed Natsu by the arm and pulled him away from the parade of exhausted mages.
“Hey! What are you-”
“We need to talk,” was all Gray said as he searched for any place where they could have some privacy, eventually turning a corner and finding a deserted side street.
He let go of Natsu’s arm as soon as they were away from any prying eyes, not wanting to antagonize him before he even got the chance to say anything. He trusted him to follow, and he wasn’t disappointed.
Gray turned to face him as soon as he thought they were far enough in. Standing this close, he couldn’t help but trace every one of Natsu’s injuries with his eyes. There were so many. Old scars and fresh wounds alike, each one a testament to how many times he’d come close to losing him.
But Natsu had returned to him time and time again.
He was the only one who ever had, and it wasn’t until Gray had been perilously close to losing himself to his worst instincts that he’d realized how much he’d come to depend on that. Even now, with Natsu standing so close that he could feel his body heat radiating against him, he still found it hard to believe he was really there.
He reached out with his hand, aching to touch, to once again confirm what his eyes were showing him. Natsu’s face changed from annoyance to concern at the gesture and Gray quickly shifted gears. He pulled him into a hug, not wanting him to see the feelings he was helpless to hide, at least not until he had the words he wanted.
Natsu didn’t fight, hugging him back just as tightly and surrounding him in his intolerable heat. Gray had never in his life been so fucking glad to feel that heat against his skin. And one by one his defenses melted away, as he finally accepted that Natsu wouldn’t disappear on him again.
He knew he should feel happy, and he did, but at the same time, his body seemed to have other ideas. His shoulders shook, and the tears he’d held back for hours now streamed freely down his cheeks. There was nothing he could do to stop it, and he was sure Natsu could feel it, given how close they were pressed together.
“Gray?” Natsu tried to pull away but Gray wouldn't let him, so he held him tighter instead, offering comfort the only way he knew how.
“I’m sorry, it’s just-” Gray's voice cracked with anguish - “I thought I’d lost you.”
“Lost me?” Natsu pulled back and frowned. “Why would you think you’d lost me?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Gray tried to smile to put him at ease, even though he knew he must look a mess. “The important thing is I promised myself that if you came back, I’d tell you how I feel.”
“Okay, now you’ve lost me.”
“You asked me if I was your friend.” Gray bit his lip. This was it, the moment he’d both longed for and dreaded. “And I never got the chance to answer.”
“Oh, that.” Natsu’s eyes softened. “You don’t have to- I was just upset.”
“I want to.” Gray wiped the last of his tears away. “I
am
your friend, Natsu, but…”
Gray hesitated. Should he really confess his feelings after all the things he’d said and done that day? He struggled with his conscience, but the truth was, these feelings hadn’t started today. No, Natsu had worked at his heart for as long as they’d known each other, whittling away at it and making himself at home until no one else would do.
He would never get a better chance than this, and after all this time he owed it to himself to come clean, but even more he knew Natsu deserved to hear the truth.
“But?” Natsu blinked in confusion.
“I want to be more than that.” Gray’s heart pounded in his chest as he finally said the words out loud. He could barely look at Natsu, terrified of what his response would be and what it could mean for the relationship they’d built up over the years.
“You mean you want us to be best friends?” Natsu grinned, practically vibrating with excitement at the idea. It would’ve been contagious, would’ve brightened even Gray’s darkest days, if only it hadn’t been so completely off the mark.
“What?! No!” Gray immediately corrected himself when he saw Natsu’s crestfallen expression. “We already are best friends, idiot. That’s not what I meant at all!”
“Then what do you mean? What’s more than best friends?”
Gray’s eyes pleaded with him to understand what he was trying to tell him, but he could see it was pointless from the way Natsu gazed at him curiously.
Maybe it was best to just show him what he meant.
He placed his hand on Natsu’s cheek, caressing it with a gentleness he’d never dared to show him before.
“What are-” Natsu seemed shocked by the gesture, but he made no effort to move away.
“Trust me?”
Gray gave Natsu a moment to consider his request, and when he nodded, he took that as permission to continue. He brushed their lips together in the barest of kisses, knowing anything more could backfire horribly.
“That’s what I want.”
He stepped back, giving Natsu space to consider what had just happened.
“You kissed me.” Natsu stared at him with wide eyes, his hand moving up to his lips and resting there. “But why?”
“Because I love you.”
Gray felt the weight of Natsu’s gaze on him, so intense it felt like he was staring into his very soul.
Ever since he’d realized his feelings for his best friend, he’d considered all the different ways this moment could play out. At best, and this was of course the outcome he was hoping for, he’d thought Natsu would tell him he returned his feelings. At worst, he’d expected an outraged punch, with maybe some disgust thrown in for good measure, with a host of other more explosive scenarios in between.
He had to admit complete and utter silence was not a reaction he’d ever considered. Certainly not when the man he loved was almost physically incapable of being quiet, and as the silence between them only grew, he panicked.
And that was a problem, because when that happened, he lost all control of his mouth.
“I know it must sound crazy to you, especially after everything that’s happened today, but it’s the truth.”
“Gray-”
He couldn’t remember ever hearing Natsu say his name so seriously,and so became even more terrified of his answer. His tired mind went into overdrive, trying to find the right combination of words that would ensure Natsu loved him back.
“And I want to make you a new promise, one that I intend to keep.”
“Gray!”
Natsu looked agitated now and that sure as hell couldn’t be good, and in a fit of desperation Gray grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
“I promise I’ll keep on living,” Gray pledged, “but I want you to be right there beside me.”
“You are such an idiot.”
Wait, what did he mean by that?!
He had no time to consider it because about a second later Natsu had slammed their lips together so roughly Gray didn’t know whether the stars he was seeing were from euphoria or a concussion. But he didn’t care. He kissed him back just as eagerly.
And once they’d separated, Gray could only gape as Natsu flashed him that same toothy grin again.
“I love you too.”
It took him a moment to absorb not just the words but the meaning behind them, and he realized something rather embarrassing. He'd spent so much time worrying about this part that he’d never gotten around to thinking about what came after. He didn’t have a smooth response at the ready, couldn't even come up with a single word to describe the exhilaration he was feeling right now. No, all he seemed to be capable of was to stand there with a big goofy smile on his face.
Yep. He was definitely an idiot.
Even worse, Natsu was laughing at him. “Holy shit, I’ve never seen you look like that before.”
“Shut up.” Gray shoved him playfully.
“Nah, it looks good on you.” Natsu teased, shoving back a little harder. “We should probably get back to the others before they start to worry, though.”
As much as he wished they could stay there a little longer, Gray knew Natsu was right. Soon, Erza or Lucy would come looking for them. Or worse, Juvia. Which brought up a rather interesting question.
“Gray-sama? Where are you? Your Juvi is looking for you.”
Crap! Speak of the devil…
“What should we tell them?”
Natsu frowned as the familiar voice came closer. “I don’t think we should tell them anything, at least not until you’ve talked to her.”
“Yeah.”
And wouldn’t that be fun…. The thought was almost enough to dampen his mood.
“Hey, we’re going to live our lives beside each other, right?” Natsu grabbed his hand and squeezed it.
Gray nodded, still a little embarrassed by his earlier outburst.
“Then a few days won’t make any difference, will they, Ice Princess?”
Natsu had always been the only one to call him by that stupid nickname, and before today he’d hated it, but now he found he didn’t mind it so much. It was special, and coupled with Natsu’s assurances that he wasn’t going anywhere, it gave Gray the strength to face the hurdles that still lay in their path.
They walked hand in hand until they reached the street entrance, sneaking one last kiss in before letting go and calling out to the voices that had now joined Juvia’s.
“We’re coming!”