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Language:
English
Series:
Part 125 of one-shots , Part 5 of Jimelization's requests, Part 66 of Disney One-shots , Part 135 of gift fic
Stats:
Published:
2022-02-07
Words:
430
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
4
Kudos:
4
Bookmarks:
3
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419

Moonlight Bay

Summary:

A one-shot I did as a gift for my friend Jimelization. It's based on her W.I.T.C.H. stories "Heart of a Mother" and "The Dark Descendant" Will, Matt, and their newborn daughter enjoy a peaceful moment alone together.

Notes:

Appreciate the Moment

For every day that you wake? Be unbelievably grateful because somewhere there is someone who won't be.

For every moment that you concern yourself with the goings-on of others? Keep in mind they've problems too.

For every second that you doubt the authenticity of your loving relationship? Consider those who are alone.

For each moment that you question your own worthiness? Realize that you're the exact amount of enough.

Appreciate the beauty in everything, knowing one day. It will be long gone.

 

The picture was done by my friend Amy AKA Inuyasharocks01862.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

 

W.I.T.C.H crossover

 

 

A young couple sat on the porch outside the beach house they were staying in. Cradled in the young redhead woman's arms was an infant. Judging by the baby's size, she wasn't even a month old. The infant had soft red hair and blue doe eyes. Quite an adorable combination, indeed. The parents were already in awe of their sweet little girl.

The young woman gazed at the setting sun casting a million sparkles upon the sea before them. Then, finally, she turned to her boyfriend and whispered. "It's nice to have a moment of peace, isn't it, Matt?"

"Yes, it is," he agreed with his girlfriend. "You may lead the Guardians to protect the universe. First, however, we all need a moment of peace to ourselves."

"I wonder if that means Antonia will one day be the Keeper of the Heart," she gazed upon her young daughter. After losing their first baby in a miscarriage caused by an insane woman, they were thankful to have their baby. They'd mourned their loss and felt blessed to have another child.

"Let's not worry about anything with the Guardians, alright, Will? Let's focus on something else instead," Matt encouraged her, to which Will nodded.

"How about planning our own wedding? I don't want a huge one. A simple one with family and friends is enough for me."

"Me too. Does the venue or dress matter to you?"

"I don't care about the dress. I'm not one of those stupid women who think they need to spend thousands of dollars on an outfit they're only going to wear once. And only for six hours, top!"

"Yes, I have to agree. I've never understood people's logic. Why spend thousands on weddings? It's your actual marriage that should matter."

"Yes, because they could use the money wasted on their weddings better. Like, say, buying a house? Or putting food on the table? You know it necessitates and not wants?"

"Will, I'm so glad you've got a brain. No offense to Cornelia. But she'd blow everything on her wedding. Not paying for things she'd actually need. And she's the one who's had a child the longest!"

"Let's not say anything bad about our friends, okay? We've had more then enough to deal with. Instead, let's savor this moment of peace with Antonia?" returning her gaze to the setting sun.

Matt nodded, and the small family stayed out long enough to enjoy the sunset and the stars coming out. It was a beautiful night—a precious moment to share with their loved ones on this moonlight bay.

Notes:

Thank you for sharing your short story! You've crafted a poignant scene with a touching moment between the young couple and their newborn daughter. Here are some thoughts and feedback:

Character Development: You've introduced us to the main characters, Will and Matt, and provided some backstory about their past struggles with a miscarriage. This adds depth to their characters and helps the reader understand their current emotions and motivations. However, it might be beneficial to delve a bit deeper into their personalities and inner thoughts to make them even more relatable and multidimensional.

Dialogue: The dialogue between Will and Matt feels natural and helps to reveal their personalities and relationship dynamics. It's realistic and engaging, especially as they discuss their views on weddings and priorities in life. However, there are a few instances where the dialogue could be tightened up for clarity and flow.

Setting and Atmosphere: You've done a good job of setting the scene on the porch of a beach house, with the sunset casting a beautiful backdrop for the conversation. The description of the setting adds to the atmosphere and enhances the reader's immersion in the story.

Pacing: The pacing of the story feels appropriate, with a gradual buildup to the emotional moment between the characters. However, you might consider adding a bit more detail or action to break up the dialogue and provide additional context for the scene.

Theme and Message: The theme of cherishing moments of peace and family togetherness amidst life's challenges comes through effectively in the story. It's a universal theme that many readers can relate to, and it's conveyed well through the interactions between the characters.

Overall, this is a heartfelt and well-written short story with strong emotional resonance. With some refinement to character development and dialogue, as well as a focus on enhancing the atmosphere and pacing, it has the potential to be even more impactful. Keep up the great work!