Chapter Text
Halt wasn’t one to be anxious. He was renowned for his reputation to stay undecidedly calm under pressure, staying unnaturally still in the waiting. Patience was his forte.
And Halt was trying to live up to that expectation, he really was. However, his knee bouncing up and down nervously was damning evidence of his failure to live up to the calm, controlled standard of a Ranger of his standing.
A Ranger, a living legend, a natural born leader, a teacher, mentor, father, husband, friend. He lived up to all these titles, and accepted them out in the open, but he internally abandoned all of them the second he stepped foot in the waiting room. Here he was just Halt.
Despite himself, his knee kept bouncing. There were only a few things in the world that could make him lose his stoic veneer like this and one of them was currently three hours into a surgery that would hopefully save his life.
No. It would save his life. It had to, because Halt wouldn’t know what to do if it didn’t. He would wait an eternity if he knew Will would survive it in the end. If he was waiting, in Halt’s mind it meant Will was still alive. In that way, the waiting was its own kind of mercy.
He tasted blood. He didn’t realize he was biting his lip.
Damnit. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped the blood away with it. Leaving bright red streaks across the spotless white fabric. It had been a wedding gift from some noble he couldn’t recall the name of. Admittingly, most of those gifts he threw away. Far too much clutter in the small apartment he shared with his wife. He figured this was one of the few actually useful presents in the junk he received. So for this reason, he kept it.
He stared at the bloody handkerchief as tears blurred his vision. He slammed his eyes shut.
He’ll pull through.
He’ll pull through.
He’ll pull through.
He’ll pull through.
He’s Will fucking Treaty, of course he’ll pull through. Get it together O’Carrick.
Get.
It.
Together.
He opened his eyes sharply. He didn’t need to see his reflection to know there were tear tracks down his cheeks, his eyes were probably red-rimmed with irritation. His vision, (momentarily cleared, after being closed for so long) flooded once more as a choked sob escaped his lips. Folding the handkerchief in half, he used it to wipe the tears from his eyes and face, only to have them retrace their trail.
He stood quickly, breathing deeply. He paced the halls of the waiting room for God knows how long. Time was a dream here, the clock ticking on the wall, feeling like a countdown for an impending death.
It was his fault. He knew it. Horace knew it. Alyss knew it. Will Treaty could die at any moment. The boy he raised, just barely a man, could die any moment, and it would be entirely on Halt’s conscience.
It was this job, this amazing, horrifying job. Sometimes it would have it’s glorified moments, but truthfully, it was killing him slowly. Every death was an icepick, chipping away at his dwindling spirit.
But Will’s death would be a sledgehammer.
But still Halt waited, forcing his calm demeanor to take back the lead rein, and he sat down once more.
His knee no longer bounced. Tears were not shed. Doubts were shoved in a grave. Instead Halt focused all his attention to a spot on the wall in front of him. Doing his best to sink into a meditation like state, anything to distract his distraught mind. He didn’t realize he was successful until someone calling his name shook him out of it.
“Ranger Halt?” The doctor said, concern coloring his voice.
“Yes, sorry.” Halt cleared his throat, preparing for the worst. “How is Will?”
The doctor smiled tiredly at him, “He’s doing remarkably well. It was touch and go for a while, but he’s going to pull through. I suppose you’ve heard the rumors that he's a stubborn man. I have a feeling that it’d take a lot more to take him out.”
Halt laughed aloud, “That he is” he said, relief practically flooding his tone.
The crushing weight on his chest was lifted. 'He’s alive'
“May I see him now?”
“Yes sir Ranger, he’s asleep right now. But you’re certainly welcome to wait with him. I’m sure he’d appreciate the company when he wakes.”
“Thank you doctor,” Halt said before rushing past him. He didn’t need him to show him the door, Halt had been staring at it for the last 5 hours.
When he laid eyes on Will, it took everything inside him to maintain his calm disposition.
“Oh Will” Halt whispered in the silence, as he took the free hand that wasn’t wrapped in a cast. It seemed to be the only part of him that wasn’t injured in the explosive blast.
Ha sat down next to his old apprentice and waited. Halt stared at the young Ranger as if he would vanish if he looked away. After what seemed like an eternity waiting for the young man to wake, Halt started talking to him. It wasn’t a conscious decision, more something that overtook him to just have a conversation with him, even if it was one-sided.
He regaled him with stories of his past, and some of his favorite memories of Will’s apprenticeship. The bitter situation they were stuck in, only seemed to make the memories that much sweeter. After a while of this, he gave up on talking and started to sing softly to him, old folk songs from Hibernia that Halt remembered his sister singing to him when he was sick. Songs that Halt had sung to Will when he was sick as a teenager.
He got up to pour himself a glass of water, turning his back on Will for the first time in hours.
“By the river’s edge, I see you…” He sang softly. More to himself now.
“You have a nice voice,”
Halt almost dropped the pitcher.
“Will!”
“Hey Halt.” Will said weakly.
Halt rushed to set the pitcher down, and hurried back to Will’s side.
“Will, how are you feeling?”
“Like I got blown up. Where are we?”
“The local hospital. I had to rush you to the nearest place with doctors, by the time I got here you had lost almost 2 liters of blood…we almost lost you Will…” He finished darkly.
Will looked pensive for a moment, “Are you okay? What about Alyss? and Horace?” The words fell off his tongue faster and faster as his memory started to fill in the gaps. Anxiety practically radiated off of him.
Halt held up a hand and in a calming tone, “Yes they’re all okay, Horace might have a few broken ribs, and Alyss has a concussion. But you managed to push them out of the building before the blast went off.
Tension released from Will’s shoulders, and he leaned back into the mountain of pillows behind his back.
Halt remained silent and just stared at Will. Watching his chest rise and fall, every breath a confirmation that he was alive.
“Would you stop staring at me like that? I’m okay, Halt, really.”
“I’m sorry.” Halt said so quickly the words melded together. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
“Will squinted his eyes in confusion, “What?”
“I’m the reason you’re here, it was my call.”
“Halt please, you couldn’t have known.”
“I should have.”
“Halt-”
“I. Should. Have.” Halt said violently, articulating every word concisely.
“I was overconfident,” He snapped, “Reckless. I thought we had them. I thought sending you and Horace in would give Alyss a chance to escape. I thought it would give us an easy win, but I was stupid, so stupid, to think that such a thing even exists!”
“Halt you couldn’t have known about the explosives. They were using a new technology that we had no idea about at the time. There was no way that…”
“I should have known they had something up their sleeves. It was too easy, and I knew that! I should have…”
“You should have what? Gone in there yourself? Have you get blown up instead? What if you hadn’t noticed it as quickly as I did? I was able to push Horace and Alyss out in time, but what if you hadn’t? You. Alyss. Horace. All of you could be dead right now if our positions were reversed. Maybe you would have seen it before I did, hell, maybe you would have been able to disarm the damn thing and prevent the explosion from even happening. But we don’t know that. We can never know that.”
Halt took a second to ponder Will’s words. They sounded like words Halt would say himself if their positions had been reversed. Halt had always struggled with ‘what- ifs’
Even Pritchard had said so. ‘Stay in the here and now Halt’ His old teacher’s voice came back to him. Halt sighed, he wouldn’t burden his old apprentice with the ‘What-ifs’ anymore.
“After all our time together, do you really have such little faith in my abilities?” He said, managing a half smile.
Will laughed, but winced when it pulled on some new stitches. “Not at all Halt, I’m just saying we’ll never know who would’ve had a faster reaction time. I mean, we can make assumptions…buuut” he finished with a trouble-making grin.
“Oh shut up” Halt said, with a full smile this time.
Will looked so pale, and small on the hospital bed. The gown that was mandatory for all patients, swallowed him, making him look practically miniscule. But his eyes…
The strength of a forest fire always seemed to rage behind those eyes, and Halt had rarely seen that snuffed out. He was relieved to see it was there. Even now, even if Will was suffering. The fire was there. Because the fire meant he was fighting. The fire was an indication that Will was still there, still Will. So even in his weakened state, the raging flame brought Halt comfort.
After some time, Halt could tell Will was falling asleep. The fire sputtered behind drooping eyelids.
“Rest now my son,” Halt said gently, carding a hand through the man’s dark brown hair. Made a little lighter in the summer heat.
“Are you leaving?” Will slurred, obviously trying to mask his disappointment.
“No. I’ll wait right here with you.”
“Thank you Halt,” Will said again, as his eyes failed to open.
“Of course Will,” he said, leaning back in a more comfortable position.
He didn’t mind a little waiting