Work Text:
The video starts with Tim sitting on a sofa silently staring awkwardly at something behind the camera. There is some faint dialogue happening.
"Richard John Grayson Wayne, pick up your phone immediately."
Text pops up saying 'oh my god he 4 named him this is BAD'.
"Of all the irresponsible, immature-"
The clip cuts off there, switching to Tim in his room, speaking lowly.
"So my older brother just graduated and last night he snuck off with his boyfriend to go on a road trip. I have no clue whether this was pre planned or not but our dad is totally gonna kill him when he gets home."
The video switches back to a continuation of the first clip. Tim looks wide eyed in the camera as the same faint voice speaks.
"Barry, did you know about this? Your nephew has kidnapped my son."
Text pops up again saying 'he's coordinating with other adults i hope they got a good head start'.
The video ends.
-
This video starts in a similar way, though Tim is sitting on a different sofa in a different room, looking off to the side.
"Tim. Promise me, promise me you won't do anything like this." The man's voice is desperate. Tim holds eye contact for a long pause before answering.
"No."
"Tim. "
"No, Bruce. You went gallivanting off wherever when you were 18 and Dick is doing this road trip! I think it is justified-"
"Tim please. "
"- that I go off the grid for at least a week-"
"Tim. "
"- and obviously I will take my boyfriend."
There's another pause and then Tim's eyes suddenly go wide, his expression communicating a very loud 'oh shit'.
"Boyfriend? Tim since when were you dating anyone-"
Tim gets up suddenly, moving quickly out of the room as text pops up on the screen saying 'i fucked up oh my GOD'.
"IT WAS HYPOTHETICAL GOTTA GO BYE."
"TIM-"
The video cuts off there.
-
The next video shows Tim walking through some large outdoor area, seemingly in circles.
"Okay so, for those of you asking my dad is not homophobic so jot that down. He is very supportive of both me and my brother but also very protective . He pretends to hate my brother's boyfriend on principle but he also made a scholarship at his college purely so he could pay half of his tuition fees, so." He shrugs. "Now, Dick has been gone for like, two weeks now. He's still dodging Bruce's calls but he's also texting updates every day and he called me the other day so like, we know they're safe. But he fully left in the middle of the night, no warning, through his bedroom window and didn't even leave a note. So, Dick, if you're seeing this -" he looks straight into the camera for the first time - "I'm gonna prank you so hard for causing me to be dragged out of bed at 7am because Bruce didn't know where you were. Also I hope you're having fun, because these are probably the last days of your life. Or at least, the last days of seeing the outside world with your own two eyes."
He throws a peace sign to the camera before it cuts off.
-
The next video shows a silent clip of Bruce Wayne pacing pack on forth while on the phone, gesturing wildly.
Text reads 'Dick finally picked up'.
Another clip shows Bruce staring blankly at a wall while on the phone.
Text reads 'Dick is making him organise a huge barbecue with our friends to get him to come home by July'.
Another clip shows Bruce talking to a slightly larger, just as stocky man. The stranger's back is to the camera, but you can see Bruce's pained expression.
Test reads 'My dad's best friend is trying to talk him through this so he doesn't kill Dick when he gets home. Wondering if this is a good time to tell Bruce I'm dating his best friend's son'.
As the video goes on, Bruce suddenly gets visibly more agitated.
Text reads 'nm Clark just asked “what's the worst they can get up to” I'm Vacating The Premises'.
-
The video starts as a beat up red and white car pulls up the drive, as seen from a window.
Text reads 'oh my god they're back'.
The next clip is taken from an awkward, half hidden angle, showing Bruce looking at Dick with a stern face. Dick stares wordlessly back, an innocent look on his face. His hands are behind his back, and he slowly brings them in front of him to display a small calico cat. A faint "oh my g-" is heard before the clip cuts off.
The next clip shows Tim in another room, talking to the camera.
"So the boyfriend got to escape Bruce's wrath but only because he has to get home to face his far less scary uncle's wrath. Also, yes, they brought back a cat! We're keeping her in the manor until Dick leaves, but they officially have shared custody of her until they can move in together after the boyfriend finishes college. Right now Dick is getting yelled at and probably will be for another hour, so I -" the camera flips to show the small calico playing with a small ball with a feather trailing on it - "get to look after this cutie. Later, though, I'm gonna be an awesome little brother and tell Bruce who my boyfriend is and get some of the heat off Dick. Wish me luck!"
The video ends.
@GOTHamite: im so glad i found tim wayne’s tiktok
> @sixangryfoxes: wait this is the waynes?!
>@GOTHamite: uh, yeah?
> @sixangryfoxes: lmao i really did not recognise them
@tapiocapostit: putting this in my “reasons we should let the wayne family survive the revolution” folder
> @thymewithtyler: they aren’t that special
> @weareroberta: okay, metropolis
@grayson: damn the boyfriend seems kinda awesome tho
> @timdrakewayne: this makes me feel homophobic
> @grayson: shut up we’re adorable