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Summary
And Castiel doesn’t know what to do, and he doesn’t know what to say to Dean, who’s standing at the edge of the bed, whose gaze meets his before turning back to the blue sheets and the interlocking square pattern splattered across them. Castiel doesn’t know what to say because he’s used to feeling like he’s falling, like he’s losing himself, like he’s on some never-ending downward spiral to a pit he could never reach. But now he’s there, at the bottom, lost, with nowhere else to fall and nothing else to lose.
So he does what he used to do, when Dean would wake up at four in the morning, drenched in fear. When Dean would beg him to stop the nightmares. He does what he used to do, when Dean would whisper that he needed him, needed something more than grace and answered prayers.
(Takes place during episode s08e08 - Hunteri Heroici - and is a continuation of the conversation between Dean and Castiel, after Castiel says he can't go back to Heaven and face what has become of it).
Series
- Part 12 of Toward Despair