Work Text:
The group was gathered in Alex’s lair because, although he kept moving the location of his lair around after its location got revealed to the heroes, he’d had yet to change it after his latest stint as a hero. Honestly, he just couldn’t be bothered. The heroes still had yet to win against him and he kept forgetting where he had last moved the lair. The other day he teleported to twelve different previous locations before remembering that his lair was currently in Antarctica.
Morgan sat on Alex’s couch with his arms crossed, glaring at the imbecile on the other end of the couch. “I just don’t get why he has to be here.”
Chad let out a booming laugh that grated on the villain duo's ears. Morgan already looked ready to smack him with the decorative cushion that was on the couch. “I’m here to bring you back into the fold, my young sidekick. Alex convinced me that he hasn’t brainwashed you, so I feel it will be easy to get you back to the light, especially on such a joyous occasion as Game Night.”
Morgan looked over to where Alex was standing and raised an eyebrow. “Like, honestly, why?”
“Ahh, your jokes continue to evade me. It will be a wondrous evening and you will see how much better it would be to come back; we could have it every night if you so desired,“ Chad droned on. He seemed to not notice the other two exchanging tortured glances.
Alex leaned down to whisper in Morgan’s ear, “I’m not any happier than you, but I will not be losing this bet against you.”
Morgan gritted their teeth and muttered back, “I said I could last longer in the presence of an annoying hero than you. Nowhere in there did I say anything about that hero being my brother.”
“Look, if you end up killing him, I promise I’ll clean up the blood.” Alex held out his hand to seal the deal.
“That would be too easy for you.” Morgan grasped his hand tightly, teeth bared. “If I end up killing him, you have to clean up the blood, by hand.”
There was no way that Alex would lose to him. He knew all of their weaknesses and the biggest one’s ego was taking up the majority of the room. “Fine by me.” He tried to straighten up and was stopped by Morgan grabbed his tie.
“I get to choose the game.”
It seemed as if Chad had suddenly noticed that the two weren’t as attentive to himself as he was. “What are you two plotting over there?”
Morgan let go of Alex’s tie and smoothed his hands over Alex’s vest. “Alex was just telling me that it’s my turn to choose the game.”
“What an excellent choice! And what game did you choose?”
Morgan stood up and walked over to the cabinet where Alex kept his games. They pulled out a seemingly innocent black box with bold white letters. “Cards Against Humanity.”
Alex chuckled darkly. “Oh, Chadster. You are going to get wrecked.”
Chad glanced between the two. He, though not an empath, could sense some hostility from them. “Don’t you need four people to play this game? It says that on the box.”
“Normally, yes.” Morgan set the box of the coffee table and picked up a stack of black cards and started shuffling, making eye contact with their brother. “But I don’t care. We’re playing it like this.” Chad swallowed nervously.
Alex took a stack of white cards and shuffled them. “Here’s the deal. We’re playing until someone gets five black cards. If you win the black card, then you become the new judge.” He dealt them into three piles of ten and put the remaining in a stack next to the black ones. “Chad, since you’re the guest, you can judge first.” Alex took his seat on the ground on the other side of the table.”
Chad reached over and drew a black card. “Check out my new podcast! It’s just two regular guys talking about blank.”
Alex and Morgan read their respective cards. Morgan immediately slammed one of theirs on the table. A minute passed. The siblings turned to stare where Alex sat, choosing his cards. One of his hands held the majority and the other held a single card, which he changed out with a different one from the other hand every few seconds. Another minute passed.
“Is there a time limit on this?” Morgan exclaimed loudly.
Alex just smirked and finally put down one of his cards. Morgan snatched them up and shoved them in Chad’s hands. “Choose a card. Now!”
Chad shuffled the cards the best he could with just two and read them aloud. “Stealing the Declaration of Independence or becoming a blueberry. HA! Well, obviously since my brother is no villain, he obviously chose the blueberry card, so that one is my choice.”
Morgan closed his eyes in pain and tilted his head up to the ceiling; Alex smugly picked the black card up off the table. “Thank you, I’ll be taking that.”
“Chad, you incompetent baboon. I’ve told you I’m a villain because I want to be one. Plus, this is a game, you don’t have to choose what you’d actually do. Look. Now he’s going to get all arrogant.” He kicked Alex’s shoe with no reaction from the other.
Alex drew the next black card. “What is Batman’s guilty pleasure? Make sure to give me good answers.”
Morgan once again chose a card out of their hand quickly and placed it on the table. Chad took a moment longer but placed one of his cards on the table.
Alex took the two and tossed them up in the air. When they landed, he leaned over to where they had fallen.
“Cripling debt or Daddy Issues. Ooh, going to have to go with Daddy Issues.”
“Yes!” Morgan cried and grabbed their newly acquired black card.
“What?! But I tried to play a villainous card. How did you know which one was theirs?” Chad bellowed.
Alex hummed. “I didn’t. Their card was just better.”
Several rounds passed with similar results. In the end, Alex won with five black cards, Morgan ended up with four, leaving Chad with a measly one, much to Morgan’s chagrin. However, “Sorry Professor, but I couldn’t complete the homework because of poor life choices” was just too relatable, so they had to give him a win. The outcome was pretty much what the two villains had expected due to their skill level, experience, and general sense of humor, however, Chad was flabbergasted.
“How were you two so good at that?”
“Mind control,” Alex replied with a completely blank face.
Morgan leaned forward and smacked his arm. “No, we’re just friends. Friends tend to know each other well.”
“Well, Morgan. Are you ready to return to being my sidekick?” Chad stood in a ‘heroic pose’, wide stance and fists on hips.
Morgan pulled a face. “Ew. No. I’m not going back. Try again never.”
“Well, then if I can’t convince you today, I can try again tomorrow. See you soon. I’m sure it will work next time.” And in a blink of an eye, The Chadster was off.
Alex glance over at Morgan out of the corner of his eye. They were staring where Chad had been with a look of disbelief. He cleared his throat and turned his shoulder slightly toward them. “Neither of us won the bet.” He could see the look of horror enter Morgan’s eyes. Delightful.
“Oh no, you’re going to invite him over again. Aren’t you?”