Archive of Our Own

"Jaskier. It's the countryside."

"Right. Yeah. So – do we have any bug spray? Or mosquito nets?"

"It's February, Jaskier. In England."

"Well, you can't be too careful these days! If I get bitten it'll make me all itchy and allergic, and then I'll never stop complaining and you'll get grumpy with me!"

"Hmm. You're complaining already."

Behind the steering wheel, Geralt kept his eyes fixed on the road – but he could sense that in the passenger seat beside him, Jaskier was making a face.

And not just any face, but that face. The face of wounded outrage that Jaskier always made when Geralt refused to indulge whatever petty gripe the musician currently had going.

The plaintiff whine in Jaskier's voice told Geralt that his intuitions were correct.

"I am not! Look – I love camping. And the whole rugged, outdoorsy, manly-hugging thing. I just think that since Yen can't make it anymore, we should turn this van around and go back to London where it's safe."

Geralt allowed himself a smile, certain from a quick glance that Jaskier was glaring moodily through the window at the green and pleasant land they were passing through, as if each shrub and farmstead was a personal affront to his sensibilities.

"Jaskier. Yen wants us to go. If we turn back now she'll think we hate her Valentine's Day gift."

"I don't hate her gift, Geralt! That's so mean of you to insinuate. I just think that it would be nicer for all three of us to spend Valentine's Day together. You know? The way it's supposed to be."

"You know what it's like when the hospital cancels her leave and calls her in. She'll be working all weekend. We can do something with her when she's off."

Jaskier's face radiated disappointment at Geralt's stubborn insistence that they continue according to plan.

Did Jaskier think Geralt cared more for Yen's feelings than his own? Surely they were long past all those pointless jealousies and misunderstandings.

Whatever the reason, something was eating away at Jaskier, and it definitely wasn't midges or mosquitoes. But true to his witchery profession, Geralt decided to take pity on the bard and come to his rescue.

But logic and reason were not the way to approach one of Jaskier's moods. A different, more cunning tactic was required to chase the dark clouds away.

Geralt sighed.

"You know, Jask. We haven't spent a weekend together for years. Just the two of us, I mean. It could be fun. It could be nice."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jaskier's blue eyes slide onto him, curious enough to take the offered bait.

"Fun? What kind of fun?"

But predictably, Jaskier needed more sweet talking before he'd let it go.

Geralt tried his best to sound romantic, lowering his voice the way he knew Jaskier liked it.

"We could sit in the hot tub with that fizzy wine you like, under the stars. And after dark, I could show you all the constellations through my telescope."

Jaskier blinked, evidently weighing up the proposition against the many alternatives. The swirls of cognitive dissonance were almost audible to Geralt over the van's whirling engine gears.

And a moment later, the musician reached a decision and beamed his approval, all trace of rainclouds now banished on his smiling sunny face.

"Oh, Geralt! Will you? That would be perfect. I could even write a song about it. My heroicly intellectual witcher – as well versed in astronomy as the monster-slaying arts!"

Geralt tried to twist his instinctive grimace into an upwards smile.

"Hmm. Yeah. That sounds... nice."

"Yes, it's a romantic weekend away with me! What was I thinking? You could even give me a nice massage, after the hot tub? It's been ages since you last did that."

There was something in Jaskier's voice that brooked no argument, and Geralt nodded, gladly accepting such a reasonable price for the peace.

He would have massaged Jaskier anyway. He'd even packed the scented lotions and oils that Jaskier liked so much. But there were other ways he could spoil the bard, and make his feelings clear.

"Of course, Jask. And since Yen can't be here to attend to you too, I promise I'll double my efforts, so you're not left disappointed."

Jaskier met his eye with an answering little smile – all coy fluttering eyelashes and pursed lips, and he might have even blushed a little. It made something warm light up in Geralt's chest – to see how easy it was, even now, for him to make Jaskier squirm in his seat.

To see how simple it was to get back on the bard's good side.

The technique that Yen had taught him in managing the musician's moods had proved itself to be a stunning success yet again. He'd have to thank her later.

And so Geralt stared ahead towards the fluffy white clouds that hovered over the North Sea coast up ahead, and allowed himself a secret smile.

Maybe it would be a good weekend after all?

...   ...   ...

Not ninety minutes later, as the rain poured down from the featureless grey sky onto the open hood of the van, Geralt felt his smile dim and falter.

They'd stopped at a village close to the lodge so that Jaskier could find some wine to his liking, but now they'd got back to Roach and her engine wouldn't start.

He knew he should have changed the old battery after that big freeze over Christmas. He'd been planning on doing it...

"Godsdammit!"

Geralt banged his fist on the dead battery with a snarl.

Sheltering inside the van and hidden from sight, he could feel Jaskier's watchful eyes practically boring through the hood at him. And the voice that came back at him was nervous.

"Everything okay, Geralt? That didn't seem like a happy sound."

He growled softly, staring at the road ahead.

They could park up here and hike to the lodge. It was only five miles away, and Roach would be safe here. He could arrange a tow back to London on Sunday, after Jaskier had been suitably pampered and mollified.

He cleared his throat, and paced around to Jaskier's passenger-side door, hoping his scowl wasn't too obvious.

Jaskier opened the door and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Let me guess. Your trusty old steed won't start, and now we're stranded here."

Geralt nodded.

Jaskier sniffed.

"Well. Then I guess we could walk."

Geralt was instantly suspicious.

"You're mad at me."

But to his surprise, Jaskier only laughed.

"Geralt! We used to hike all over the country together, I don't mind a bit of rain."

Geralt paced closer.

"You don't?"

But Jaskier grabbed his oil stained hand and squeezed it.

"I take it you were planning on getting me out of these clothes later anyway?"

Geralt smiled, and traced a hand lightly up Jaskier's arm over the black felt blazer, following the strips of dark lace that were stitched onto the fabric.

It looked fine. It looked expensive. But Jaskier looked better without any of his fancy designer clothes.

"Hmm. That was the idea."

Jaskier shrugged, and caught Geralt's gaze  with a whisper.

"Well then. Who cares if we get a bit wet? We can warm up in the hot tub when we get there."

Geralt pulled Jaskier closer and planted a kiss on his lips.

"You're right. I don't care. But are you sure you don't mind?"

Jaskier pushed him away and jumped down from the van into the muddy road.

"Not a jot! It'll be just like old times. You take the bags, and I'll take my guitar and our wine. The lodge is just outside the village – we'll be there in an hour, easy!"

Geralt nodded and scanned the sky. Sunset was another two hours away – plenty of time to hike up the track through the woods and find the lodge on the coast.

Even with the rain, it would be invigorating to take in some clean country air – and he had Jaskier with him, to share it all with every step of the way.

It would be just like old times, except this time more romantic than monster hunting.

It would be fun.

...   ...   ...

Two and a half hours later as the twilight deepened under the misty drizzle, it wasn't much feeling like fun after all.

To his credit (and to Geralt's surprise), Jaskier had said very little about their predicament. Of course, this was likely because it was him who was chiefly responsible for getting them lost in the first place, after claiming to have studied the map on Yen's email when he obviously hadn't.

But really, it was Geralt's own fault for believing in Jaskier's tales and trusting in his eccentric navigational skills in the first place.

They should have turned right instead of taking the left turn, and now they were lost in the woods with no track at all, and a series of tall barbed wire fences that blocked off an escape route in the direction Geralt wanted to travel.

Of course he could climb it, but Jaskier would only flap and injure himself on the wire. They had tried to retrace their steps, but without a path it was proving difficult.

"Can't you open the map from your phone?"

"I don't have reception out here in the wilderness! Anyway, the map was obviously wrong."

"Hmm."

"Don't hmm me, Geralt! You should know better than to listen to my directions!"

The bard did have a point.

"I'm sorry for allowing you to get us lost, Jaskier."

"That's better. And I might accept your apology if we actually make it to this place without freezing to death out here in the rain!"

"We're not far away. We'll find it."

"But it'll be dark soon! And I don't have witcher eyes. What if there's monsters out here, hm?

"No monsters have been reported around this forest for over thirty years, Jaskier. I checked before we set off."

"Well, what if they've just been hiding, waiting for someone as tasty as me to come strolling by? Or hibernating? What then?"

"Well, maybe if you stop complaining you won't wake them up."

Jaskier stopped dead in his tracks and pointed in outrage.

"Says the one who got us lost!"

Geralt stared up at the heavens, hoping in vain for some miraculous neon cloud to appear in the sky and point the direction to the lodge.

But no clouds could be seen below the dark blanket of rain.

Yet perhaps the heavens smiled down regardless – for something did reach the witcher's senses.

The steady trickle of running water.

Geralt raised his hand to plead for compliance, earning a worried shudder from Jaskier.

"Quiet. Listen."

Jaskier glanced around with wide blue eyes.

"Is it a monster?"

"It's a stream. Didn't Yen say the lodge was beside one?"

Jaskier nodded vigorously.

"She did. That's how I know there will be bugs."

"We could follow the stream to the lodge."

Even in the gloom of the woods, Jaskier's eyes brightened.

"We could! Oh you're so clever Geralt. And you didn't even look at the map."

Geralt huffed a sigh, masking the mean words that formed in his mind at Jaskier's praise.

And neither did you.

And resisting the temptation to retort back at Jaskier – for it would only reawaken another strop – he beckoned for the bard to follow and led them deeper into the woods towards the river.

It was a small stream, and the scrubby trees were thin by its banks. They could follow it a mile or two upstream, find a place to cross, and there they'd be at the lodge.

It would be easy from here – and then they could strip off, warm up and enjoy the rest of the weekend, just the two of them under the stars – peaceful and romantic.

...   ...   ...

The journey to the lodge did not go as easy as Geralt had planned. And some – including Jaskier – would no doubt say that it didn't go easy at all.

But of course, those self same people should have packed sensible shoes and kept their balance while crossing slippery stepping stones, especially after it had been pointed out they were overloaded with wine and not watching where they were going.

Jaskier had managed to survive the fall into the icy waters – Geralt had fished him out of the current before any harm had been done. But tragically, the fancy fizzy wine that Jaskier was carrying had not been so lucky

If the bard was to be believed, the bottle had sunk to the bottom of the river to be imbibed by some restless water hag, and the two weary travellers would have paid the toll in blood had Jaskier not had the sacrificial offering so cleverly in hand.

And naturally, there was no point in worrying about him catching his death of pneumonia given how soaking wet he was after a certain witcher had got them both lost – the hag would no doubt summon her monstrous cousins to devour them both before they ever reached the hot tub.

At least the rain had stopped – the clouds had been chased away by an icy northern wind that gave Jaskier something new to complain about.

Geralt was glad when the lodge loomed into view at last – with thick stoney walls swooping up from the dark shrubbery of the forest.

With any luck the sight would distract Jaskier from composing any more lyrics about his witcher's attempts to spoil Valentine's Day.

The building itself was square and tall – three stories with large baleful windows staring back at them as they approached the front door.

"Ew, Geralt! It looks creepy in there. You should go in first, you know – check the place for spiders. That kind of thing."

The door had been left unlocked for them, and came open when Geralt turned the handle, revealing a wide shadowy hallway.

He turned to Jaskier, realising the bard was still hesitating on the threshold behind him.

"Are you coming?"

Jaskier shivered in the breeze and nodded.

"It's probably creepier out here on my own. Honestly Geralt, there could be anything lurking in those bushes!"

They'd made it half way down the hallway when the door slammed shut behind them, making Jaskier squeak in alarm.

"It's just the wind, Jask."

Geralt reached out for what looked like a light switch, wondering ominously if this old place even had electricity. The button clicked uselessly on the wall, and the lodge remained as dark as ever.

"Hmm."

Maybe the bulb just needed changing.

There was no point in mentioning it to Jaskier just yet.

Something creaked in the dark shadows off to their left. And again. If Geralt didn't know better he could have sworn it sounded like –

"Footsteps! Geralt, what the fuck?"

"Hmm. Get behind me, Jask."

But the footsteps were coming closer, from the shadowy space between them and the door. And Geralt only had the small silver dagger in his jacket pocket.

He reached in and gripped it anyway, prepared to face down whatever monstrous intruder had lain in wait for them out here in this lonely forest...

The footsteps came closer, and revealed a strange vision wreathed in soft violet light.

A vision that Geralt recognised at once.

 "Yen! What are you doing here?"

The light – shining out from her hand – was trained on his face.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to get the power on since sunset."

She raised an eyebrow as her eyes turned to Jaskier.

"Jask, why are you dripping water everywhere? Is that your best jacket?"

"Was my best jacket. I don't think the mud and misery will ever wash out of it now."

Yennefer shook her head and stepped down the corridor towards them, bringing the sweet scent of lilac and gooseberries in her wake.

She reached out to the bard and ran a hand down the soaking fabric stuck to his chest.

Her voice was honeyed with sympathy.

"My poor Jaskier. Has Geralt not been looking after you properly?"

She shot Geralt a filthy look for Jaskier's benefit, but with his witcher senses he saw the wink she offered him through the dark.

Her words echoed in his mind.

Play along, Geralt. Watch and learn.

He could only nod mutely, trying to offer words to explain.

"Roach broke down. Then it rained. Jaskier fell in the river."

Yen wrapped an arm round Jaskier's shoulder and pulled him in for a kiss, and it occurred to Geralt as he watched Jaskier melt under the attention that perhaps he should have done the same hours ago

"Hmm. How did you get here anyway? I thought you had to work."

Yen broke her lips away from Jaskier's to offer them both a sly smile.

"Triss offered to cover instead so I could come here. I tried to phone you. I thought you'd be here when I arrived."

Jaskier squeezed Yen's hand.

"Did she really? That's so nice of her. She's so thoughtful towards her friends."

Geralt grunted, certain that this was aimed at him for Yennefer's benefit.

"What's going on with the power, Yen? You said it was out."

She sighed.

"I think the storm brought down the electricity lines."

Jaskier shifted beside her, alarm clearly visible on his face through the dark

"You mean... there's no lights? No heating? No hot tub?"

Yen nodded slowly in agreement, and Geralt growled at Jaskier's visible disappointment.

Nothing was going to spoil Valentine's Day for his two beloveds!

For Geralt had an idea...

...   ...   ...

Just half an hour later, in the steaming water of the hot tub, Geralt allowed himself a smug smile.

Jaskier was leaning back in Yen's arms, staring up at the stars as she sipped on the champagne she'd brought along in her car.

There was plenty of food and fine wine. She'd even brought a barbecue, and the smoky scent of sizzling meat was making Geralt hungry.

With lazy eyes, Yen nodded to the fire.

"It's your turn to flip the burgers, Geralt. Be a good boy and top me up while you're out there."

Jaskier waved his empty glass and smiled happily.

"And me. You know how I love to be spoiled, witcher."

"Hmm."

Geralt did his best not to show it, but he was basking in saving the day.

Who needed electricity when there was Ignii?

It was a cold and crisp night outside of the tub, but Yen had plenty of blankets in her car. She'd come prepared with everything – she'd even brought Jaskier's brass candle holders for a romantic dinner.

It was a good job that him and Jaskier hadn't turned back for London.

Geralt wrapped a blanket around his waist and padded over the grass to where the fire was lit for the barbecue. The food was almost ready, and soon they could gather round the fire and take turns of his telescope.

The sky was nice and clear now when he looked, with the winter stars shining bright and blue. And over there, beyond the lodge and low on the horizon...

Geralt frowned.

But the green glow in the northern sky was unmistakable.

"Yen? Jask? There's something out here you should see."

"Have you burned those burgers, Geralt?"

"It's a monster, isn't it? I knew you'd find one out here!"

Geralt said nothing, and waited for the curiosity to bring his two beloveds to him.

Grumbling and cursing, and wrapped in a blanket, they dutifully came to his side.

He pointed to the sky, and the brightening, swirling veils of colour that drifted silently across the sky, swirling and glowing like ghostly flames on an unseen wind.

Yen wrapped an arm around Jaskier.

"It's the northern lights! I've never seen them before."

Jaskier turned to Geralt.

"It's beautiful. But what does it mean?"

Yen laughed.

"It means there's a solar storm up there, Jask. It's not common this far south."

But Geralt thought he better understood what Jaskier meant.

He wrapped his arm tight around the musician's other shoulder, and smiled.

"It means that you'll never forget this Valentine's Day, Jask."

And clutching both of them tighter, Jaskier smiled.

"As if I could ever forget a moment with you two. You've both made this perfect. And I'm lucky to have you both."

Yen brushed her hand through Jaskier's hair, and settled her head against his neck.

"The three of us are lucky to have each other."

Geralt met her eyes, and squeezed Jaskier tighter.

She was right. They were all lucky.

And gazing up at the stars from beside the flickered flames under the ghostly green lights, Geralt realised that the sight he treasured most was looking back to earth – at the joy on Yennefer and Jaskier's faces.