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English
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Published:
2015-04-10
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2,004
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1/1
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Can I Get Some Fries With That Shake?

Summary:

Y'know all those tumblr prompts that go around and people reblog them and scream in the tags YAAAAS PLZ WRITE THIS? Ok well I used this one: ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door" AU.

Kate Bishop battles Jell-O shots and demands America Chavez get her some fries.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Americaaaaa….Americaaaa god shed his grace on she...from far and wide oh America ----” Kate slurred as she slumped against the solid door. She curled up against frame and rested her head. “Born in the USA...she was born!! On the Fourth of July.”

 

America ripped the door open and a Hawkeye tumbled into her entry way. “I was recording your horrible singing. I’d send it to Clint but he still uses a Razr.”

 

“Whoa wow hey, hi.” Kate smiled up from the ancient linoleum floor. “America you rang.”

 

America looked up at her ceiling and counted to fifteen. “Princess, you’re drunk and using my boots as a pillow.” She carefully pulled Kate all the way into her apartment and locked the door.

 

“Hey, I got you a present,” Kate hiccuped. She fished through her hoodie pockets and pulled out gum wrappers, headphones and finally a fistfull of coupons for half priced ice cream cones from Dairy Queen. “These are all ‘fer you.”

 

“That’s really nice of you,” America said slowly as she knelt down to examine the messy state of Kate. “How was your night?”

 

“Ohhhh you know. I went to a party,” Kate trailed off and curled up on the hard floor. “It was cool and Marvel Boy Noah fucking shitty ex whatever face showed up.” Kate tightened the drawstrings of her holey purple hoodie. “I took it out on some Jell-o shots and I thiiiiiink I won.”

 

“And you’re here to celebrate your victory,” America stated and stifled a yawn.

 

“Fries. I want fries Miss America,” Kate demanded. “It’s my right to have carbs and ----you wear hipster glasses?” Kate squinted up at America, the kitchen light catching the glare of the lenses of the thick black frames. “Looking cute, nerd.”

 

“I live three blocks from McDonald’s. You had to walk by it to get to my place,” America grumbled. She looked at the clock on the microwave. 2:13 A.M. This was really going to cut into her plans of getting up at a decent hour and running a really solid and consistent Netflix marathon.

 

“Right. But I couldn’t pay with Jenga pieces, Buddy Holly,” Kate replied. She moved to sit up and used the wall to hold her up and grabbed her tote bag. Kate dumped the bag out onto the floor and picked through the contents. “Fucking trick arrows,” she muttered. “Ahw wallet, no.”

 

“Oh my god. Do I have to take you to get fries?” America huffed and didn’t wait for an answer. She grabbed her boots and started pulling them on. “If you take a photo of me in this state, I will bury you in a different multiverse.” She grabbed a her jacket hanging on the wall and checked her pockets for her phone, wallet, and keys.

 

“You’re the true princess,” Kate said wide-eyed. She stumbled trying to stand up and paused to haul herself into a crawling position and then was able to right herself. “That’s the Jell-o’s fault.” She swayed on her feet and glared at the light coming from the lamp in the living room.

 

America guided Kate through the door and locked it behind her. “You sure you can manage stairs? Elevator is broken.”

 

“Sure can,” Kate replied and held a hand to the wall to keep her balance. “I can just fall down ‘em. Whyyyyy do you have to live on the eighth floor? Took me f’ever to get up here.” She hoisted her tote bag on her shoulder. Kate banged into the wall every few steps but it guided her down the stairs. “Ugh, is the elevator always broken? Do you have such great thighs because you climb 90 million stairs everyday?”

 

“Uh...no?” America replied, taken aback. She pulled up her hood to hide to blush coloring her cheeks. “Just a few more floors,” she mumbled as she watched to make sure Kate didn’t indeed elect to fall down several flights of stairs.

 

It was crisp, last days of summer weather when the autumn chill starts to creep in. They walked side by side in quiet and their elbows bumping along the way. America thought of nine sentences to start but her brain was stuck on the thighs remark. “C’mon, weirdos are out at this hour,” she huffed.

 

Kate snorted. “I’m basically an Avenger,” she crowed.

 

“Ah yes. I forget about that,” America drawled. “Hawkeye, the one who can demolish a tray of Jell-o shots.” She glared at the group of drunk men spilling out of a bar a block ahead. She grabbed the crook of Kate’s elbow and quickened her pace.

 

“Golden arches, Chavez,” Kate smiled as she stumbled on the sidewalk and clutched America’s arm.

 

“WOOOO!!! Looking good, laaaaaadies,” a drunk man yelled at them as they walked by.

 

“Bit early for the walk o’ shame, innit?” his friend chimed in and stepped in front of them. “Rejected from the threesome?”

 

America stopped and counted slowly to fifteen while she stared them both down. Kate tugged her arm, eager to get her fries

 

“Oh you want some?” one of them sneered and grabbed the crotch of his jeans.

 

“You’re not my type,” America told him with a venomous grin. She cracked her knuckles and stood on the balls of her feet. “Just out for some McD’s. Move.”

 

“Hey Brad! They’re out for some beef!” he said to his friend.

 

America moved to step around the two jackals and they moved again to block the path on the sidewalk. Kate instinctively reached to grab her bow which was currently sitting on the floor of Clint Bartons’ apartment, among pizza slices and old Sport Illustrated swimsuit issues.

 

“Really, you should fucken move,” Kate smiled and did her best to stand straight and appear sober. America turned to Kate and raised an eyebrow to ask her question. Kate nodded once and let go of America’s arm.

 

America stepped to the side and gave them one more chance to move. Again, the two men moved to block her. “Alright. Bye, chico.” She punched man number one square in the chest and knocked the air from him. He coughed and sputtered and fell to the hard cement.

 

“You fucking bi---” man number two shouted. He didn’t even finish his sentence as America kicked his kneecap. He crumpled into a heap next to his friend and clutched his knee. “I’m calling the cops.”

 

“Yeah and tell them two lil’ girls attacked you,” Kate giggled. “Tell them a lady with flag print pj’s ruined your night.” She stepped over them. “I want some french frieees!”

 

“C’mon, princess.” America held out her arm and continued to escort Kate to her destination. “And it was one lady. You stood there,” she teased.

 

“What!?” Kate screeched. “I was in the fight, man. Y’know. Overseeing.” She wrinkled her nose and kept up her march.

 

FInally, their desired destination. America held the door open for Kate. She strolled to the counter. “Can I get two large fries, two large ice waters and two apple pies?” She dug exact change out of her wallet.

 

“I didn’t want pie,” Kate pouted. She took one of the waters and downed half of it in a few gulps.

 

“They’re mine,” America smiled. She handed Kate the other water. “Get hydrated. No fries until both are gone.” She grabbed the bags of food and held onto them. Kate glared at America as she finished both of her waters. And then America handed over the bag of fries.

 

“You need ketchup?” America asked as she shoved extra napkins in the bag. She didn’t wait for an answer and threw two handfuls of packets in anyway.

 

“Mmmmf no,” Kate said through all her fries. She swallowed and sighed. “Fries,” she whispered and her eyes half closed.

 

They walked in quiet back to America’s. America ate her pies and Kate quickly devoured most all of her fries. She skipped the napkins and wiped her hands on her worn jeans. Kate paused in the doorway of the lobby of the building. “Uh thanks. I’ll head home now.”

 

“Nope. You’re crashing here tonight. Come on.” America left no room for argument and grabbed Kate’s hand and hauled her up the stairs. She didn’t let go, even when Kate followed without protest.

 

“Alright. I’ll sleep on the couch then,” Kate huffed. The stairs were a lot of cardio even without a night of drinking. “Eight floors,” she grumbled.

 

America unlocked the door and locked it behind Kate. Kate dropped her tote bag and staggered for the time loveseat and curled up on the worn cushions.

 

“You can sleep with me if you’d like,” America offered stiffly. She paused a moment. “I mean. Couch is small. But I can grab you a blanket and pillow if you wanna stay out here.”

 

“If there’s a bed, that’s cool,” Kate said into the cushion. She rolled off the couch and stood to follow America.

 

“You can borrow clothes to sleep in if you want,” America yawned as she headed for her room. She dug around in her dresser and tossed Kate some Captain America pants and white tank top. America headed down the hall to brush her teeth and give Kate a few minutes to get changed. She headed back and found Kate already under the blankets. America huffed to herself. Kate took her side. But, America crawled in on the other side and muted her phone.

 

“Hey...Kate,” America whispered. “You’re okay, though. Yeah?” She stared at the back of Kate’s head.

 

A few minutes later Kate rolled over and looked at America. “Yeah. I am. Thanks.” She gave half a smile. “And thanks for the fries.”

 

“Need me to kick Marvel Boy’s ass?” America offered eagerly.

“No. I made him cry publicly,” Kate snorted. “I might have announced to the room he wasn’t so marvelous in some departments.” She snuggled under the blankets and slid her feet under America’s.

 

“That’s cold!” America crowed. “And you dissing MB like that.” She laughed and nudged Kate’s feet.

 

They woke a few hours later, the sun streaming into America’s bedroom.

 

“Oh god is the room on fire,” Kate wailed. “Why is there so much light?” She hauled the blankets over her head and rolled away from the offense.

 

America leaned across Kate’s lump of a body and grabbed some aspirin and a water bottle. “Here ya go.” She then leaned over to the window and closed the curtains some more and the room darkened.

 

“Americaaaa,” Kate sang from under the layers of bedding. “Why are you nice to me?”

 

She rolled over and slung an arm where she guessed Kate’s waist was. “I like you.”

 

Kate flung off the blankets and sat up and stared at America wild eyed. “Oh god why? I’m a hungover disaster.” Her hair stuck up in more directions than a compass and her eyeliner was smudged, cusping on raccoon status. “I also took my anger out over an ex-boyfriend with my friend, Jose Cuervo.”

 

“You’re still cute,” America blushed. Time to go all in. “I like you.”

 

Kate stared at America still, with happy disbelief. “You wanna be my date mate? My lusty lady?”

 

“Bishop,” America warned. She threw a leg off the bed, ready to bolt somewhere away from this awkward moment.

 

“Chavez,” Kate returned. She grabbed America’s hand. “I’m bad at this, okay?” She took a deep breath. “I like you too. And if I didn’t smell like a frat house during rush week - I’d smooch ya.”

 

“Yeah. I have Listerine and a shower though,” America retorted. She moved to settle back into bed and held Kate’s hand tighter. “Can we uh...nevermind.”

 

Kate smiled warmly and wiggled closer to close the gap. “Miss America, do you want to snuggle with me? Or we can snuggle after I have been hosed off and dipped in a chemical wash.”

“You’re okay, Hawkeye,” America said and returned the smile. She pulled Kate’s arm over her waist and curled into her space. “You owe me breakfast thought, babes.”

 

Notes:

I might circle up and continue with these two if something strikes me. I ended it there so I would actually post this and not let it die in my Google Drive folder. I'm so sorry it wasn't more scandalous. Perhaps that will be a follow up.