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Chapter Text

When A-Yuan had first come to stay with Wei Ying, he’d had a really bad ear infection and he’d cried constantly and Lan Qiren had come knocking on Wei Ying’s door with a scowl on his face.

Lan Qiren was Wei Ying’s next door neighbor and possibly the biggest annoyance in his life. Before he’d adopted A-Yuan, Lan Qiren had objected to every single thing Wei Ying did, from playing music (not even loudly!), to cooking spicy food (why would he have a problem with that?) to leaving his muddy boots in the hallway, to, Wei Ying didn’t know. Existing, probably. It was like having another Aunt Yu in his life, honestly, except that all Lan Qiren could really do was threaten to call the landlord and get him evicted.

“I’m sorry, Uncle,” Wei Ying said, when he opened the door to Lan Qiren’s scowling face. “Nothing I do is working- he won’t stop crying.”

“He?” Lan Qiren demanded, craning his head as if to look past Wei Ying. “Where did you get a child?” Wei Ying rolled his eyes; typical of the man to assume Wei Ying had kidnapped a child or something.

“He’s my cousin’s,” Wei Ying said. “She couldn’t look after him any longer, so I took him in. It was that or let him go into foster care.”

Remarkably, Lan Qiren’s scowl lessened. “That’s very responsible,” he said. He paused. “Does he have an ear infection?”

Wei Ying nodded and sighed.

Lan Qiren frowned at him. “You need to get some sleep,” he said. “Children are a lot of work.”

“I know, Uncle,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you, Uncle.”

Artwork by serse

The next day, just as Wei Ying had finally gotten A-Yuan to sleep, there was a knock on the door again. Wei Ying jerked the door open, biting his lip so he wouldn’t just start yelling at whoever had knocked.

Lan Qiren stood there again. Wei Ying blinked at him. Lan Qiren offered Wei Ying a paper bag. “I got some medicine,” he told Wei Ying. “I used to use it when my nephews had ear infections. It was very effective.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Wei Ying said, shocked, taking the bag.

“The instructions are with the medicine,” Lan Qiren said. “I also brought some candy the child might like, and some food. You’re too skinny; it’s not good for looking after a young child.”

“Thank you, Uncle,” Wei Ying said again.

They ran into Lan Qiren in the elevator a week later, A-Yuan snug in his stroller, Wei Ying blinking with exhaustion.

“A-Ying,” Lan Qiren greeted him.

Wei Ying blinked at him and wondered if he was imagining this.

“This is your cousin’s baby?” Lan Qiren asked.

Wei Ying nodded. “This is A-Yuan.”

Lan Qiren sank down on his haunches so he could smile at A-Yuan. Well, twist his mouth into something like a smile. “Hello,” he said, seriously, to the small child.

A-Yuan, who was gumming his fingers, looked at the old man.

“You should have teethers for him,” Lan Qiren advised, with a frown.

Wei Ying sighed. “I know,” he said. “I should have a lot of things I don’t have. I haven’t had time to go shopping or anything.”

Lan Qiren frowned. “I still have some of my nephews’ things in storage,” he said. “I will look through them and see what’s there.”

“That’s not necessary, Uncle,” Wei Ying said.

“They’re just going to waste as they are,” Lan Qiren declared, with a sniff. “I had saved them for when my nephews had children, but at the rate they are going…” he scowled.

“Not the marrying type?” Wei Ying asked, a smile creeping onto his face.

“A-Huan is married,” Lan Qiren said. “To a man.”

“Ah,” Wei Ying said.

“And A-Zhan is gay as well,” Lan Qiren said, with a frown. “I don’t think he’ll have children.”

“Well,” Wei Ying said, perhaps a little too flippantly. “Don’t give up too soon, Uncle. I’m gay and I have a child now. Perhaps your nephews will as well?”

Lan Qiren’s face went thoughtful in a way Wei Ying had learned to be alarmed at on the face of any older person. The look of ‘why are arranged marriages outdated again?’ and ‘if I try to set up my child, what’s the worst they could do to me?’ and ‘I admit I am actually this desperate for a grandchild.’

Wei Ying suddenly wished he had not spoken. The last thing he wanted to do was to somehow end up going on a date with Lan Qiren’s nephew, who would undoubtedly be just as rule-bound and disapproving of everything as Lan Qiren was.

A few days later, Wei Ying had just arrived home with A-Yuan after a long hard day of work when there was a knock on the door.

“Aiya!” Wei Ying exclaimed. “What now?”

“Aiya!” A-Yuan repeated enthusiastically.

Wei Ying cracked the door open, A-Yuan hiding behind his legs. It was Lan Qiren, holding a box. Behind him stood a very handsome man, holding a much larger box.

For a moment, Wei Ying let his lust run away with him as he admired the way the man’s tight pants hugged the curve of his ass and how his biceps were perfectly framed by his short-sleeve dress shirt.

With my luck, he thought, this will be the married nephew and the unmarried one will be short and ugly.

“Uncle!” Wei Ying greeted him. “What can I do for you?”

“Uncle!” A-Yuan repeated, squeezing out from behind Wei Ying’s legs and latching onto Lan Qiren.

“I’ve brought the items I mentioned the other day,” Lan Qiren said. “My nephew, A-Huan, helped me.”

A-Huan smiled widely at him.

“Ah, Uncle, you didn’t have to,” Wei Ying said, moving aside so Lan Qiren and A-Huan could enter the apartment. It was a much tighter fit with three grown men there.

“No trouble,” Lan Qiren said. “As I said, they were just growing old in storage, since A-Huan and A-Yao refuse to adopt some children.”

A-Huan smiled the smile of a person who has been asked when they were going to give their family children since they came of age.. “There’s still time,” he said.

Lan Qiren huffed.

“Hi, I’m Lan Huan,” A-Huan said, holding out a very nicely shaped hand to Wei Ying. Gods, he needed to get laid.

“Wei Ying,” Wei Ying said. “And this is my little radish, A-Yuan.”

Lan Huan nodded. “Uncle has told us all about him,” he said. “Thank you for brightening his life. As you have heard, his nephews have so far neglected to give him grandchildren.”

“I’ve heard something to that respect,” Wei Ying said. “Ah, do you want tea?”

“Oh, no need, no need,” Lan Huan said. “I really have to go! I’m going to be late for A-Yao as it is.”

Ah, Wei Ying thought. This is probably the married nephew.

“Okay,” Wei Ying said, glad he wouldn’t have to entertain- he really was exhausted. “Well, thank you again. Huan-ge, uncle.”

“You make sure you feed that baby lots of soup,” Lan Qiren said. “Not too spicy. Spice is bad for his health. Yours too, A-Ying.”

“Yes, uncle,” Wei Ying said. “I’m just about to make some soup now.”

A-Yuan was frowning up at him when he closed the door. “Soup?” he repeated, with a frown.

“Nah,” Wei Ying said. “Fish fingers.”

A-Yuan cheered and clapped. “Fish fingers!”

I really am a bad parent, Wei Ying thought.

To Wei Ying’s surprise, the contents of the boxes, while old, really were nice; all well-made toys, wooden trains and blocks and some lovely stuffed animals that looked like they’d been hand-sewn, as well as some very nice clothes that A-Yuan would grow into. A-Yuan immediately latched onto a stuffed rabbit, sewn from blue and white calico, and refused to go anywhere without it.

“Ah,” Lan Qiren said, when he next saw them. “I’m glad he’s enjoying the things I brought.”

“Yes,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you so much again.”

A-Yuan sucked on the stuffed rabbit's foot, hiding behind Wei Ying in feigned shyness.

“That was A-Zhan’s favorite toy as well,” Lan Qiren said, with a little sigh. “Oh, A-Ying, my nephew has sent me home with leftovers- you should take them as a meal for you and A-Yuan.”

“Oh, no no, I couldn’t,” Wei Ying said, remembering how horribly bland the last food Lan Qiren had brought him was.

“Nonsense,” Lan Qiren said. “You’re so thin- you’re clearly not eating enough.” He gave a frown that Wei Ying recognized from the aunties who ran the stalls in the market and were always forcing extra dumplings and pancakes on him.

“Really, uncle,” Wei Ying said. “Please, I’m fine.”

“Nonsense,” Lan Qiren said again. “When do you have time to cook? You’re a single father. Take the food,” and he forced a bag of takeout containers into Wei Ying’s arms.

“Okay,” Wei Ying said. “Um, thank you.”

He sighed as he let himself and A-Yuan into the apartment. “This is not the end of this,” he told the child. “It’s going to be boring food for life, I’m afraid.”

A-Yuan chewed thoughtfully on the cloth rabbit’s foot.

“Well it’s all well and good for you,” Wei Ying said. “You’re eating rabbit for dinner.”

Sadly, Wei Ying’s prediction had come through. Lan Qiren appeared with remarkable frequency. He must listen at his door, Wei Ying thought, dismally, accepting container after container of horribly healthy food, all steamed vegetables and freshly made tofu and bitter soup.

“Ugh,” Wei Ying said, squeezing half a bottle of chili garlic sauce into his bowl. “I’ve never eaten this healthfully in my life. A-Yuan, you’re going to have to be prepared for your baba to live for a very long time.”

“Okay,” A-Yuan said. The little traitor seemed to like Lan Qiren’s food.

“A-Ying,” Lan Qiren said, the next time he saw them, “what are you and A-Yuan doing for the Mid-Autumn Festival?”

“Ah,” Wei Ying said, running his hand through his hair. “I wanted to go to my sister’s, but she lives too far away and I can’t get enough time off of work, so I think we’re just going to celebrate it, the two of us.”

“Nonsense,” Lan Qiren said, sniffing. “You can’t spend the Mid-Autumn Festival alone! It’s a time for family. You’ll come with me to my nephew’s house.”

“Oh, no, Uncle,” Wei Ying said. “I can’t intrude on your family gathering! It would be so rude.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, A-Ying,” Lan Qiren said. “You wouldn’t be intruding anymore than that A-Yao is.”

Wei Ying blinked, not sure what to do with this. Wasn’t A-Yao Lan Huan’s husband?

“It would be improper for A-Yuan to not be able to celebrate the festival,” Lan Qiren declared. “He should be raised in the proper traditions.”

A-Yuan looked up at Wei Ying, chewing on the stuffed rabbit. ‘Proper,” he said, pulling the foot out of his mouth.

Wei Ying sighed. Might as well give in now, he thought. He never won against meddling old people. That’s how he always ended up coming home from the market stuffed with dumplings.

“Okay,” he agreed.

“Good,” Lan Qiren said. “A-Zhan is coming to pick me up at noon. Please make sure you and A-Yuan are ready.”

A-Zhan, Wei Ying thought. The probably ugly unmarried nephew. Great. “Okay,” he said again. “What should I bring?”

“Bring?” Lan Qiren repeated, shocked. “You won’t be bringing anything! A-Huan will provide everything!”

Wei Ying narrowed his eyes. Was this a trap? It sounded like a trap, like when your aunts and uncles force you to take gifts of money and then complain to Aunt Yu about how greedy you are. He’d stop by the bakery and pick up some mooncakes, he thought. Lotus-seed ones; then he can just say that they are a tradition of his family. They couldn’t possibly be construed as offensive in that light, could they?

Satisfied he’d avoided yet another pratfall, he closed the door and ushered A-Yuan into the kitchen. There were more stupidly healthy leftovers to get through.

Of course they weren’t ready at noon. They would have been, except that Wei Ying’s work had called with an emergency he’d had to talk them through, then A-Yuan had peed himself in his excitement, then he’d misplaced the stuffed rabbit and they’d had to tear the apartment apart looking for it.

When the doorbell rang, Wei Ying was sweaty and dusty from trying to lift furniture to look behind it, his hair sticking up all over the place, and A-Yuan was, for reasons only known to himself, running around with only a shirt on.

“I’m sorry we’re late, uncle!” Wei Ying called, throwing open the door.

He blinked, momentarily confused. He’d thought it wasn’t Lan Huan who would be picking them up, but there he was, looking even more gorgeous than he’d looked last time.

But no, Wei Ying, realized staring stupidly up at him. This wasn’t Lan Huan. Lan Huan had had a wedding ring and a bright smile. This man had golden-brown eyes and an expression that seemed to bore straight through Wei Ying.

A-Yuan snapped Wei Ying out of his stupor, barreling past Wei Ying and into the legs of the other nephew.

Wei Ying remembered, suddenly, that his child was running around half-naked.

“Uh, hi,” he said.

The beautiful nephew blinked. Wei Ying noticed he was holding the stuffed rabbit tenderly in one hand.

“Bunny!” A-Yuan ordered, reaching up to the stuffed animal.

The beautiful nephew carefully handed the bunny over. “I found him in the elevator,” he said. His voice was just as beautiful as the rest of him.

A-Yuan wrapped one arm around the beautiful man’s leg and stuffed the bunny’s foot into his mouth.

Lan Qiren bustled into the hallway.

“A-Ying!” he scolded as soon as he saw the tableau. “You’re not ready?!”

“Uh, sorry, uncle,” Wei Ying said. “We lost the rabbit.”

Lan Qiren narrowed his eyes at the sight of the pants-less child chewing on the rabbit’s food.

“Well, go, go, get ready,” he said, making a shooing gesture. “Can’t be late, that A-Yao will get all sniffy about it.”

“Right,” Wei Ying said, still feeling dazed. “I’ll just… we’ll just… come on, A-Yuan.”

He grabbed his son’s hand and tried to pull him gently into the apartment.

“No!” A-Yuan protested. “Stay with gege!” He gripped onto the beautiful nephew’s leg more tightly.

“A-Yuan!” Wei Ying exclaimed.

“I will come,” the beautiful nephew said. He lifted A-Yuan up into his arms as if he didn’t weigh an ounce and carried him past Wei Ying into the apartment. “Where are your pants?” he heard the beautiful nephew asking A-Yuan, and A-Yuan’s answering ‘there’.

A snort from Lan Qiren made Wei Ying realize he was still standing in the doorway, gaping.

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “I’ll just go get our things. Yeah.”

“Fix your hair!” Lan Qiren ordered, as Wei Ying wobbled back into the apartment. “You look like a hedgehog!”

The beautiful nephew was watching approvingly as A-Yuan demonstrated his prowess in putting on his pants, ignoring the cramped mess that was their apartment. Wei Ying wandered into the tiny bathroom and splashed water onto his face, only remembering, when he wandered out into the kitchen area that he’d gone in there to brush his hair. Feeling reckless, he finger combed it for a few seconds before grabbing the bag with all the things two year olds mysteriously needed and the shopping bag of mooncakes.

He looked over and caught the beautiful nephew staring at him and blushed.

“Sorry,” he said. “It’s been a hectic kind of… well, life. Thanks for helping.”

“I put my pants on all by myself,” A-Yuan boasted.

Wei Ying smiled at him. “You took them off all by yourself too,” he said.

A-Yuan grinned and stuck the bunny’s foot back in his mouth.

“Are you ready to go?” the beautiful nephew asked, gently, and Wei Ying nodded and grinned.

“Come on, little radish,” he said to A-Yuan. “Gege and uncle and us are going to go celebrate the mid-autumn festival and have too much sugar.”

“Yay!” A-Yuan cheered. “Sugar!” He grabbed the beautiful nephew’s hand and pulled him towards the door.

The beautiful nephew’s car was much too nice for Wei Ying’s grubby trainers and A-Yuan’s grubby paws. (How had he possibly managed to get so dirty? He’d been clean, Wei Ying swore he had been clean when they left the apartment. Now his face was streaked with dirt. Where had it come from?)

The beautiful nephew frowned at Wei Ying. “He should have a car seat,” he said.

“Ah, yeah,” Wei Ying agreed, with a shrug. “We hardly ever ride in cars, though, so…”

The beautiful nephew made a face as if he might be considering going somewhere there and then to buy a car seat, but Lan Qiren made an impatient noise.

“We can’t do anything about that now,” he said. “We’re already late.”

Reluctantly, the beautiful nephew gave in and opened the back door for Wei Ying and A-Yuan.

Lan Qiren spent the drive to Lan Huan’s apartment catching his nephew up on all the gossip concerning people, Wei Ying, if he knew anything about aunts and uncles, would bet the beautiful nephew knew nothing about, though he made interested noises in all of the right places. He kept checking the rear view mirror and frowning, Wei Ying saw, especially whenever he had to use the breaks which, since they were in the middle of a city, was pretty much constantly.

Lan Huan’s place was swank. There was an underground parking garage and a doorman in a uniform and everything. Wei Ying whistled, earning a sharp look from Lan Qiren, who muttered something about A-Yao’s needless ostentation.

They rode up a very roomy and smooth elevator to one of the upper floors and Lan Qiren, as was his right as Uncle, opened and strode in the apartment without knocking, A-Yuan following closely behind him until Wei Ying yanked him back so he could pull off his shoes.

Lan Huan breezed in as Wei Ying was struggling with his dirty trainers.

“A-Ying!” he said. “A-Yuan! We’re so happy Uncle convinced you to come.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” Wei Ying said, politely, trying not to stare around the room in front of him. Lan Qiren hadn’t been wrong about needless ostentation. He held out the shopping bag. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said. “I brought some lotus seed mooncakes. They’re traditional in my family.”

“Oh, thank you so much!” Lan Huan gushed, taking the shopping bag. “I love trying new types of mooncakes! Where is your family from?”

“Uh,” Wei Ying said. “Yunmeng.”

“Yunmeng!” Lan Huan exclaimed. “What a beautiful place!”

“Have you been there?” Wei Ying asked, then suddenly realized he was blocking the entrance and the beautiful nephew had been waiting patiently to take off his shoes.

“Oh, sorry,” he said, stepping aside, and wishing he’d had the forethought not to wear his socks with the flying pigs on them.

“I’ve visited Yunmeng a few times,” Lan Huan said, leading Wei Ying across the gaudy living room. “A-Yao’s sister-in-law is from there. Isn’t that right?”

A small man was standing in an equally ostentatious dining room, having what looked like a very stilted conversation with Lan Qiren.

Wei Ying’s mouth dropped open.

“Yao-ge?” he said.

“Ying-di!” Meng Yao exclaimed. “What a coincidence! And is this your son? I heard you adopted a cousin’s child from Yanli.”

“Yes,” Wei Ying said, feeling for a moment that someone- the universe- had just played a colossal prank on him. “This is A-Yuan.”

“You already know each other?” Lan Huan asked, pouring a cup of tea from a teapot on the dining room table and handing it to his uncle.

“A-Ying is Yanli’s didi,” Meng Yao explained, dimpling in a way Wei Ying had never trusted.

Four pairs of eyes settled uncomfortably on Wei Ying as he wondered exactly how much the Lans had heard about him. Nothing, he hoped, though Meng Yao was sure to change that.

He laughed, awkwardly. “Yeah,” he said. “I was hoping to visit her during the holiday, but she lives too far…”

“Of course,” Lan Huan said, sympathetically. “Much too far to travel for such a little boy for such a short time.” He smiled down at A-Yuan, or tried to, but he wasn’t by Wei Ying’s feet, where he expected him to be.

“A-Yuan!” Wei Ying exclaimed, turning and venturing back into the living room, where the little boy was playing some kind of game with the stuffed bunny and the beautiful nephew.

“Oh,” Wei Ying said, feeling all melty all of a sudden.

The beautiful nephew looked up at Wei Ying and didn’t smile, exactly, but didn’t not smile. His face was all soft and kind. Wei Ying sunk down onto an expensive looking sofa.

The beautiful nephew turned back to A-Yuan. Somehow he seemed to have cleaned the dirt off of A-Yuan’s hands and face in the short time A-Yuan had been out of Wei Ying’s sight. He was making the little stuffed bunny hop around the Persian rug, pretending to eat the leaves and flowers woven in it, while A-Yuan laughed.

“Oh my god,” Wei Ying whispered. A soft sound made him look up and he saw Lan Huan looking down at him, an amused look on his face.

At the end of the day, the beautiful nephew, Lan Zhan, drove them home with, as Wei Ying had predicted, vast quantities of slightly-less-healthy-than-usual leftovers. A-Yuan had drifted off to sleep, worn out from all the attention and excitement and sugar and Lan Zhan had carried him to the car as carefully as if he had been made out of spun sugar, putting him down gently in the backseat and buckling him in.

When they got to the apartment building, Wei Ying was surprised when Lan Zhan parked and carried the baby up to Wei Ying’s flat, where he laid him down in his little bed, tucking the stuffed rabbit in beside him while Wei Ying hovered, his arms full of plastic containers that he dumped onto the counter, then followed Lan Zhan out into the hallway.

“Thank you,” Wei Ying said.

“It was no trouble,” Lan Zhan said, his ears going a little pink. Wei Ying’s heart did a little bumpity-bumpity in his chest. He produced a thin wallet from somewhere and pulled out a business card. “If you need anything, please contact me,” he said, handing Wei Ying the card.

“Ah, thank you, Zhan-ge,” Wei Ying said. “You’re too kind.”

“I am not just being polite,” Lan Zhan said, with a small frown. “I mean it. A-Yuan is… good. You care for him all alone. Uncle is very fond of you.” He held out the card again. “Please.”

“Ah, yes, thank you, Zhan-ge,” Wei Ying said, taking it.

Lan Qiren appeared in the hallway. “Still here, A-Zhan?” he asked with a frown. “You should be home sleeping!”

Lan Zhan did not sigh, but Wei Ying suspected that was only from a great deal of practice.

“Yes, Uncle,” he said. “I’m leaving now.”

Wei Ying had suspected that Lan Qiren’s fondness for A-Yuan and by proxy for him would dry up once the old man had heard all Meng Yao had to say on the subject of Wei Ying. Lan Qiren, after all, loved gossip and Meng Yao had it in spades. The whole sordid tale would come spinning out; Aunt Yu, the Wens, the other Wens, the money, and Lan Qiren’s visits to saddle Wei Ying with impossible amounts of healthy food and twisted little smiles at A-Yuan would dry up and any very slight chance Wei Ying might have had with the beautiful nephew would be done with.

But they didn’t. A few days after the mid-autumn festival, Lan Qiren again showed up at their door, carrying yet more food.

“Ah, Uncle,” Wei Ying said. “I haven’t gotten through half of the leftovers you gave me a few days ago. Take pity on my poor stomach.”

Lan Qiren snorted. “You should eat more,” he insisted, shoving the containers into Wei Ying’s arms. “Where is A-Yuan?”

“At his aunt’s house,” Wei Ying said. “She was away for the holiday, so she took him home to spoil him.”

“It is good for him to have family,” Lan Qiren said, approvingly.

“Yes,” Wei Ying said. “I’m glad he has so many people to rely on.”

“You will come for family dinner with us on Sunday,” Lan Qiren said.

“Ah?” Wei Ying asked. “I will?”

Lan Qiren nodded. “A-Zhan will be here at five. Please be ready.”

They, of course, were not ready at five. They were ready at twenty minutes to five and then A-Yuan somehow managed to sneak into the bathroom and squirt an entire tube of toothpaste into his hair and when Lan Zhan knocked on the door Wei Ying was frantically trying to wash it out and A-Yuan was naked and both of them were soaking wet.

He opened the door and grinned up at the beautiful man. “Ah, Zhan-ge,” he said. “I’m sorry we’re not ready.”

“Don’t apologize,” Lan Zhan said. “I understand that children are unpredictable.”

Wei Ying laughed. “Yeah, that’s an understatement,” he said, only catching A-Yuan’s arm just in time as he tried to run past Wei Ying to hug Lan Zhan, still naked and soapy and soaking wet. “Let me just finish dealing with this one, and then I’ll be ready.”

“Do not feel that you need to rush,” Lan Zhan told him. “No one will mind if we’re a little late.”

Wei Ying smiled at him and herded A-Yuan back towards the bath-tub.

They were back in the hallway a few minutes later, dried and dressed, Wei Ying carrying A-Yuan’s bag in one hand and the stuffed bunny in the other.

He knocked on Lan Qiren’s door and the two emerged a moment later.

“Zhan-gege!” A-Yuan cried, jumping up into Lan Zhan’s arms. Thankfully, the man had fast reflexes.

“Sorry, uncle,” Wei Ying said. “He decided to wash his hair with toothpaste at the last minute.”

Lan Qiren unsuccessfully tried to hide his smile.

Lan Zhan carried A-Yuan down to his car and then buckled him in and Wei Ying was so distracted by trying not to drool over the sight of the gorgeous man talking softly to his son that it took him a moment to realize that there was now a booster seat in Lan Zhan’s car.

“Zhan-ge!” he exclaimed. “You bought a booster seat for him?”

“I did not like to drive with him unprotected,” Lan Zhan said.

“But…” Wei Ying said, flabbergasted.

“A-Ying,” Lan Qiren scolded him. “Get in the car- we’re going to be late.”

“Sorry, Uncle,” Wei Ying said, and scooted into the car, beside an A-Yuan who was looking very unhappy about the booster seat situation.

At dinner Meng Yao smiled his faux-innocent dimply smile at Wei Ying and all the Lans acted completely normal towards them, as if Meng Yao hadn’t spilled any of the business with Aunt Yu and the Wens and the Wens.

He got his chance to ask him about it in the kitchen, volunteering to help him clean while the Lans took turns telling A-Yuan how precious he was. “A-Yao,” he said, drying the dishes while Meng Yao washed them. They were horrible, all gilt-edged, and dishwasher and microwave unsafe and it was honestly giving Wei Ying horrible anxiety just to be handling them.

“Yes, Ying-di,” Meng Yao asked, turning his dimples on him.

“You didn’t tell Huan-ge or uncle about me,” Wei Ying said.

Meng Yao’s dimples grew impossibly deeper. “No,” he said.

“Why not?” Wei Ying asked. “I’m pretty sure uncle likes me better than you and I know you don’t do well with… ah… competition.” A ridiculous statement all around; Meng Yao was Lan Qiren’s nephew in law, Wei Ying just an annoying neighbor, and yet he was pretty sure he knew how Meng Yao viewed the world.

Meng Yao turned back to the dishes. “A, A-Ying, I’m playing the long game,” he said.

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “So you’re using it as blackmail?”

Meng Yao tilted his pretty little head. “We don’t have to be rivals, A-Ying,” he said. “We could be… friends.”

Wei Ying bit his lip to keep from asking whether Meng Yao actually had any friends. He seemed like the type of society wife Aunt Yu had always disdained, who stabbed each other with words and could never be trusted. (Aunt Yu was the type of woman who could be trusted to always use an actual knife.)

“I’m not, you know,” Wei Ying began.

Meng Yao raised his eyebrows at him.

“I’m not playing a game of any sort,” Wei Ying said. “Lan Qiren just kind of… adopted me and A-Yuan? He forces food on me and drags me to these dinners? I don’t know why- I’m loud and annoying and kind of a trash panda, like you should see my apartment. This isn’t… like I know I’m the one who brought up the word ‘competition’, but I don’t have any agenda.”

“Oh, A-Ying,” Meng Yao said, condescendingly. “I know. You are the last person anyone would suspect of subterfuge. Besides, maybe, Lan Zhan. There’s a boy who wears everything on his face.”

Wei Ying looked at him, confused. “Lan Zhan’s face is always completely blank,” he said.

“Oh, A-Ying,” Meng Yao said, again. “Look closer.”

Chapter Text

On Tuesday there was a knock on the door shortly after Wei Ying and A-Yuan got home. He was exhausted; A-Yuan had basically refused to sleep at all the night before and Wei Ying had had meetings all day, the most frustrating kind of meeting, the kind where he was surrounded by idiots who were so senior in the company that even Wei Ying wasn’t bold enough to tell them that they were wrong.

He was a mess, he knew it; his hair all over the place, his button down stained in at least three places, bags under his eyes, and the apartment was worse. A-Yuan was in a stage of his development where he enjoyed nothing better than to empty all of the shelves and drawers he could reach onto the floor. But Lan Qiren was knocking on the door to bring him more of that really awfully healthy food, as he did every Tuesday and Thursday, so he had to answer.

“Knock, knock,” A-Yuan said, and giggled. He wasn’t showing any evidence of recent sleep deprivation, the tiny asshole.

Wei Ying threw the door open and smiled at Lan Qiren.

It wasn’t Lan Qiren. It was the beautiful nephew. Fuck my life, Wei Ying thought, as his polite smile slid from his face and he suddenly became aware of every deficit in his wardrobe.

“Ah, Zhan-ge!” he said out-loud. “What a surprise.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. He held out the usual packages of leftovers. “Uncle suggested I bring these to you personally.”

“Eh?” Wei Ying asked. “These are… you’re the cook?”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said again. “Uncle is not good at cooking.” He hesitated. “Wei Ying, are you okay?”

“Ah,” Wei Ying said. “I’m fine. Just the joys of parenthood, you know.”

“No,” Lan Zhan said.

Wei Ying stared at him confused. “No?” he asked, finally.

“I don’t know,” Lan Zhan said. “I don’t have children.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Yes, I know. Your uncle enjoys talking about it.”

“I would like to,” Lan Zhan said.

“Talk about it?” Wei Ying asked. He was way too tired for this.

“Have children,” Lan Zhan said, sincerely.

“Oh,” Wei Ying said, and blinked.

“You look tired,” Lan Zhan said.

“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t sleep for…” he looked at his wrist. He wasn’t wearing a watch, so he shrugged and gave up.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” Lan Zhan asked.

“The baby,” Wei Ying sighed. “He’s not really into sleeping at the moment.” He stifled a yawn.

“You should sleep,” Lan Zhan said.

Wei Ying blinked at him and refused to allow any insulting or sarcastic remarks to come out of his mouth.

“I can watch A-Yuan,” Lan Zhan said. “If you want to sleep.”

“Now?” Wei Ying asked, confused.

“I am not currently occupied,” Lan Zhan said. “I would be happy to help. A-Yuan is a delightful child.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. He should probably say ‘no’ to this. This was one of those things you were supposed to say ‘no’ to, like when your wealthy classmate’s family invites you on their family vacation to an expensive theme park and of course you say ‘yes’, you’re a young child, but then your aunt finds out and ohhhhh boyyyyy…

But he was soooooo tired. And Lan Zhan was so sincere.

“Okay,” Wei Ying said, and led the way into the apartment.

“Gege!” A-Yuan called, running to Lan Zhan and latching onto his leg.

“So,” Wei Ying said, looking around at the apartment and wincing at the distruction.

“You sleep,” Lan Zhan said, indicating the bedroom. “I will take care of the child.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Okay.” And he more or less stumbled into the bedroom.

It took a few minutes, when he woke in the morning, to remember that Lan Zhan had been there the night before. It was only when he took the first sip of his coffee and blearily rummaged around for some breakfast, that he realized the apartment was clean. Everything A-Yuan had pulled off of shelves and out of cupboards was back in its right place. The dishes were washed, the fridge tidied, the floors vacuumed… Wei Ying blinked in shock tried to figure out what had happened? Had Yanli visited in the middle of the night? Had Wei Ying, in his sleep deprived state, hired a cleaning company?

It was only when A-Yuan wandered out of the bedroom, hair sticking up in all directions, naked stick legs poking out from under his over large sleep shirt, the stuffed bunny held by one leg, and sleepily asked “where’s Zhan-gege?” that Wei Ying realized. Lan Zhan must have cleaned his apartment.

“Aiya!” Wei Ying exclaimed, sitting down heavily on the couch. “What the hell?!”

“What the hell!” A-Yuan repeated happily.

Wei Ying’s regular and, he can not stress this enough, unsolicited, meal deliveries happened on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lan Qiren would hear him and A-Yuan returning and a minute later he’d be knocking on the door. At first he’d just stand in the hallway, shoving unfortunately healthy food at Wei Ying, but as time went on he’d made his way further and further into Wei Ying’s apartment, like grass encroaching on a flower bed. Soon he was drinking Wei Ying’s no doubt very substandard tea, carefully and pointedly avoiding the sticky spots on the table, and making small talk with Wei Ying which mostly consisted of giving Wei Ying unsolicited (and often completely irrelevant) advice while Wei Ying made small noises of agreement from time to time, although Lan Qiren also did a considerable amount of telling Wei Ying stories about things and people he didn’t care about.

When Lan Qiren barged his way in on Thursday, he stopped, in shock, upon sight of Wei Ying’s for-once-not-a-diaster-zone apartment. It hadn’t been that bad, Wei Ying thought, inaccurately.

“Your nephew cleaned my apartment,” Wei Ying explained.

Lan Qiren turned his startled expression on Wei Ying, who raised his hands. “I didn’t ask him too,” he said. “He just told me to go to sleep and then he cleaned and…”

Lan Qiren’s expression did not improve.

“I mean, ah, he brought by some leftovers,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you for that, by the way, and then he saw how tired I was, because of A-Yuan…”

“Hi!” A-Yuan said brightly.

“... and offered to watch A-Yuan while I took a nap, and then while I was napping he cleaned. He didn’t… we didn’t sleep together.”

“Mn,” Lan Qiren said.

“It was very kind of him though,” Wei Ying said. “You taught him well. He’s a very respectful, considerate individual.”

Lan Qiren huffed, as if there had never been any question of his nephew’s superiority. And, well, there hadn’t.

“So you don’t want to sleep with him?” Lan Qiren demanded.

Wei Ying flushed. “Well, I mean, he’s very…” he began, with no idea where he was going with this.

“He has a very good job,” Lan Qiren said. “He’s handsome. Hard working, good manners, proper. He is a very good cook.”

Wei Ying smiled and turned to make some tea. “Ah, uncle, I know, I know! He’s unquestionably a catch! Some young man will be very happy when he decides to settle down…”

“He’s ready now,” Lan Qiren said.

“Ah, is he?” Wei Ying asked.

“He’s very fond of A-Yuan,” Lan Qiren said.

“Well,” Wei Ying said, turning to smile at the boy, who was playing with a set of Lan Qiren’s hand-me-down blocks on the rug and humming tunelessly to himself. “A-Yuan is a good boy.”

“Mn,” Lan Qiren said, fondly. “I know you don’t have parents to help you find a good partner,” he continued, doggedly. “Perhaps you will let me do you this favor?”

“Ah?” Wei Ying asked, alarmed.

“You and A-Zhan are both so shy,” Lan Qiren said. “I will arrange a date for you.”

Wei Ying’s mouth popped open. No one had ever called him ‘shy’ before. “Uncle,” he said. “I really… you’re so kind but… Uncle, I don’t think I’m…”

“You don’t like A-Zhan?” Lan Qiren asked, sharply.

“No!” Wei Ying said. “No, he’s very…”

“Then I don’t see what the problem is,” Lan Qiren said.

“Uncle,” Wei Ying said, pouring him more of the sub-standard tea. “I’m not… I wouldn’t be a good partner for your nephew.”

“Eh?” Lan Qiren said. “And why not? Will you be unfaithful?”

“What?” Wei Ying asked. “No!”

“You have a decent job.”

“My job is okay,” Wei Ying said.

“Plenty of opportunity for advancement,” Lan Qiren said. “You told me that yourself.”

“Yes,” Wei Ying allowed.

“And you must have a good education, to get such a good job,” Lan Qiren continued.

“Pretty good,” Wei Ying said.

“And you are a good parent to your child,” Lan Qiren continued. “It is very responsible to take on a family member’s child. Shows good character.”

“Thank you, uncle,” Wei Ying said, feeling rather stunned.

“And you are a handsome young man.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you.”

“Though you should comb your hair more often.”

Wei Ying found his hand creeping up to smooth down his hair.

“So what’s the problem then?” Lan Qiren asked, sharply.

“I’m…” Wei Ying took a deep breath. “I’m… I caused a scandal. To my family.”

“Oh,” Lan Qiren sniffed. “That.”

“You knew about it?” Wei Ying asked, surprised.

“You don’t think I know who you are, Wei Ying?” Lan Qiren demanded. “I knew your mother.”

“You… what?”

“We were in school together,” Lan Qiren reminisced. “She was a troublemaker, always trying to get the students to protest this and that. But a good person. She had a good heart.”

“I don’t know much about her,” Wei Ying said.

“Of course you don’t,” Lan Qiren said. “Yu Ziyuan hated her.”

“I know,” Wei Ying said.

“And Fengmian was always such a pushover!” Lan Qiren exclaimed. “Never had an original thought in his head!” He sighed. “I am not surprised Yu Ziyuan covered her ass and blamed everything on you. It’s her style.”

“But it was my fault,” Wei Ying protested. “I…”

“You did what you thought was right,” Lan Qiren said. “And your family failed to support you.”

Wei Ying sat down heavily. “How do you know all this?” he asked.

Lan Qiren huffed again. “I might be old, but I’m not stupid,” he said.

“I never thought you were…”

“I appreciate that you do not wish to taint A-Zhan with your scandal,” Lan Qiren said. “But the Lans are a family of principle. We are not so easily swayed by public opinions as the Jiangs.”

“Oh,” Wei Ying said.

“Is that your only objection to dating A-Zhan?” Lan Qiren asked. “Perhaps you have romantic attachments elsewhere? The young woman who often takes A-Yuan?”

Wei Ying shook his head. “That’s A-Yuan’s aunt. She’s just a friend. No, I don’t…”

Lan Qiren nodded, satisfied. “You should give A-Zhan a chance,” he said. “He does seem very quiet and rigid before you know him…”

“No,” Wei Ying said. “I don’t think he’s rigid at all. He’s been very kind to me.”

“Then let me help you,” Lan Qiren said. “I will arrange a date.”

Wei Ying felt himself give up. Why was he such a sucker for old people? “Okay,” he said.

The date was arranged for Saturday night, Lan Qiren graciously offering Lan Huan’s babysitting services.

“So soon!” he groused to Yanli on the phone, rummaging through his wardrobe. He’d thought he’d had some respectable clothing somewhere.

“Well, that’s for the best,” Yanli said, sounding amused. “He still expects you to join them for family dinner, doesn’t he? How awkward would that be, having a date set up, but being surrounded by his family first? You wouldn’t know where to look! Are you excited, A-Ying?”

“I don’t know,” Wei Ying complained, rejecting shirt after shirt. “I still can’t believe he’s interested in me. Yanli, have you met him? He’s so gorgeous.”

“Of course I met him,” Yanli said. “I went to A-Huan and A-Yao’s wedding, remember.”

“Oh god, was it gaudy?”

“It was so awful,” Yanli giggled. “Poor A-Yao inherited his father’s terrible taste. And A-Huan isn’t much better. Oh, you should ask A-Huan to show you his wedding album the next time you are at his place. A-Xuan said they took a scrapbooking course. I bet it’s incredible.”

“Oh no!” Wei Ying cried. “I can just imagine A-Huan showing me how they entered the reception hall with a smoke machine at full blast or whatever and me unable to stop from laughing. Poor A-Huan doesn’t deserve that, not when his uncle has so kindly volunteered his babysitting services.”

“They didn’t have a smoke machine,” Yanli said, thoughtfully. “Peacocks though…”

“Stop it!” Wei Ying cried, laughing.

“Anyway, A-Ying, you’re also pretty gorgeous, you know.”

“I have hair like a hedgehog,” Wei Ying said.

“Hedgehogs are cute,” Yanli teased. “I think maybe you should try to think positive and give it a chance.”

“I can’t!” Wei Ying whined, flopping down on his bed. “You don’t understand, jie. He’s so perfect! If I give it a chance I’m one hundred percent going to get my heart broken. And then it will turn out he was just humoring his uncle and find someone better and I’ll be stuck dragged along with Lan Qiren to Lan family dinners and hearing his uncle go on and on about his much better partner and I’ll wither away and die of lovesickness and my poor radish will be an orphan twice over.”

“Oh, poor A-Ying,” Yanli said, not sounding sympathetic at all.

“I’ll have to move, jie!” Wei Ying cried. “I’ll have to find a new apartment because I won’t be able to deal with the whole Lan thing. You don’t understand how serious this is.”

“I understand not wanting to take risks because you’re afraid of leaving yourself vulnerable,” she said, softly. “But it will be worth it. Give him a chance. Oh- wear that black button down with the red polka-dots. And your skinny black jeans. Give him a chance to really appreciate your ass.” He could practially hear her exaggerated wink.

“Jie, you’re the worst,” Wei Ying said.

He wore his skinny black jeans and his black button down with the red polka dots and put enough product in his hair that he looked like a wet hedgehog, which he supposed was an improvement, and A-Yuan was so excited to go to Huan-ge and Yao-ge’s for dinner he managed to somehow spill juice all over both him and Wei Ying a minute before Lan Zhan was due to show up to drive them to A-Huan’s house. (How?!? He hadn’t even been drinking juice!)

Wei Ying answered the door topless, then realized he was topless and blushed bright red.

“Hi, Zhan-ge!” he exclaimed. “Sorry! A-Yuan made a mess again.” He almost raised his hand to cover his nipples before fortunately realizing how ridiculous that would look and stopped.

“I made a mess!” A-Yuan cried, running to wrap himself around Lan Zhan’s leg, completely naked this time.

“I will help A-Yuan put on some clean clothing,” Lan Zhan offered, “while you find a new shirt.”

This would have been a sensible and generous offer, except that the one bedroom was very small, what with the two beds and two dressers and Wei Ying’s wardrobe and two adult men and one naked wriggling boy and Wei Ying found himself bending over to rummage around in his dresser with his ass very close to Lan Zhan’s face in his very tight tight black jeans.

It was an impression, he supposed, pulling out the first dinner-date worthy shirt he came across, a silky, slinky purple shirt Jiang Cheng had given him, possibly as a joke.

A-Yuan, meanwhile, was much more comfortably dressed in pink pants and a dinosaur t-shirt, and Lan Zhan grabbed his bag and asked Wei Ying if he was ready to go. Wei Ying, of course, then spent two minutes running around the apartment like a chicken with his head cut off, looking for his phone, keys, and wallet, all of which, it turned out, he’d sensibly left beside the door.

“I’m sorry,” he told Lan Zhan, as he slid into Lan Zhan’s passenger seat. A-Yuan was in the back, in the booster seat Lan Zhan had gotten for him, happily singing a song about bunnies. “We’re going to be late.”

“We’re not,” Lan Zhan said, confidently pulling out of the tight spot he’d parallel-parked into. “I budgeted time for A-Yuan to have made a mess into my schedule.”

Wei Ying couldn’t help grinning at him. “You noticed the trend, huh?” he asked. “You should know he does it specially for you.”

“I’m flattered,” Lan Zhan said, with a tiny little adorable smile. Wei Ying’s heart did a horrible fluttery thing.

“Listen,” Wei Ying said. “I know your uncle put you up to this date…”

“He didn’t,” Lan Zhan said, coming to a stop at a red light, and looking over at Wei Ying. “I put him up to it.”

“What?” Wei Ying asked. “You did?”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. “Uncle is, of course, very eager for me to settle down, and thinks very highly of you.”

Wei Ying narrowed his eyes. “He does?” It sounded fake.

The light turned green and Lan Zhan started driving again. “But it was my idea,” he continued.

“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Are you sure? Because he’s been talking you up to me for a while now.”

Lan Zhan did one of those adorable little smiles again. “I’m sure,” he said.

They went to a fancy Italian place for dinner, which was actually a little annoying, because Wei Ying really wanted to get the cheese ravioli, but he had hopes for this date now and they did not include having an attack of lactose intolerance. Instead he got fettuccine with red sauce and failed to taste a single bite of it. Lan Zhan, bless his heart, got a fancy salad with cranberries and pomegranates and endives, whatever those were, and ate it delicately, one leaf at a time. He was so cute Wei Ying wanted to coo over him.

He did not. Instead he made awkward conversation. “So you work for your family’s company?” he asked (he did), and “do you have any hobbies?” (playing the guqin and doing tai chi), and “where was the last place you went on vacation” (Thailand, spending a few days there after a business conference. He enjoyed the cuisine and the climate).

The conversation flailed around until they hit on the topic of A-Yuan, whom Wei Ying had endless stories about, which Lan Zhan seemed contented to listen to.

In the end the dinner went so well Wei Ying decided to forego getting tiramisu for dessert, in the hopes that perhap Lan Zhan would be interested in continuing this date elsewhere.

“When is Huan-ge expecting us to pick up A-Yuan?” Wei Ying asked as they stepped out of the restaurant doors.

“Not until later. He and A-Yao are very pleased to be babysitting,” Lan Zhan said. “They’re hoping to become parents soon. Would you like to walk for a bit?” He gestures to the street lined with restaurants and bars.

“Sure,” Wei Ying agreed, pleased. “How, exactly, are they going to become parents?”

“Ge keeps talking about adoption, but I suspect A-Yao is thinking more along the lines of kidnapping,” Lan Zhan said, dryly.

Wei Ying laughed at this unexpected joke. “Do you think he’d try to justify it to Huan-ge or he’d just lie about it?”

“Neither,” Lan Zhan said. “He’d just distract Huan-ge everytime he tried to ask questions. That’s what he did with the flowers for the wedding.”

“The flowers for their wedding were shady?” Wei Ying asked.

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. “A-Yao hired one of his more dubious contacts.”

“But what does that mean?” Wei Ying demanded. “What, exactly, does a shady flower dealer entail? Are the flowers stolen? Repurposed from a funeral, perhaps?”

“I did not wish to ask questions and draw attention to myself,” Lan Zhan said, and Wei Ying wondered if he was just trolling him.

Wei Ying took a chance and slipped his hand into the crook of Lan Zhan’s arm. He looked up and smiled when he saw the tips of Lan Zhan’s ears going red.

“My jie said that their wedding was awful,” he said, Lan Zhan’s side brushed against his as he walked and his insides burning with warmth.

“It was horrendous,” Lan Zhan agreed. “There was gold everywhere. There was an MC. Uncle was appalled. Ge loved it.”

“Awww,” Wei Ying said, imagining Lan Huan’s warm smile. “That’s sweet.”

“It was very sweet,” Lan Zhan said. “A-Yao may have a questionable background, but he makes ge very happy. It is worth forgiving him for his terrible sense of taste and possible criminal connections.”

They reached the water front and stood there for a moment, watching the light reflect off the black water, their shoulders brushing.

“You make me very happy too, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, still looking out at the water. Wei Ying’s chest constricted.

“I do?” he squeaked. He turned and looked at Lan Zhan, who was looking back at him. “But you don’t know me very well.”

“I wish to know you better,” Lan Zhan said, and leaned forward and kissed him.

It was warm and gentle and wet and addicting. As soon as they pulled away Wei Ying knew he would want more and more and more. Lan Zhan rested his forehead against Wei Ying’s for a moment, his hands wrapped around Wei Ying’s waist.

“I, uh, want that too,” Wei Ying whispered back, and Lan Zhan smiled a very small very soft smile and kissed him again.

When Wei Ying and Lan Zhan had a very small, very respectable wedding, in a small nondenominational chapel with minimal wedding arrangements, with A-Yuan looking very cute in his little suit, Lan Huan and A-Yao sat in the front row looking a little miffed that the grooms had ignored all of their suggestions, Yanli beamed with happiness and pride, and Lan Qiren sat front and center smirking with satisfaction.