Work Text:
Ako knows not everyone understands why she’s so subdued on that fateful day.
Every February 14th, that wicked curse of hers bares its fangs, dripping with blood from the underworld. Her insides contort and swirl around with that uh… um…
… Well, she just feels awful that day. Nauseous, a twisting feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’s on edge whenever she sees a rose in her locker or hears the idea of a Valentine mentioned (what’s the point in making arrangements you don’t care about just to be partnered for one day anyway?), but she tries her best not to let it show. No-one needs her to be a Grinch… even though that’s more of a Christmas thing.
Besides, people always think she’s overreacting. She’s just an immature kid, right? She’s so sensitive. Or maybe she’s just sore that she doesn’t have anything romantic planned that day.
Gross. She feels her throat tighten at the thought.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. It’s important to everyone else; she knows she’d just be judged as a snowflake or attention-seeker anyway.
But that was all too negative. All this day was to her was another one where she could do her favourite thing in the world: game. Hell yeah.
Opening up Animal Crossing and waiting for the ten different title screens to finally let her in, Ako thinks about all the design changes she’ll make (and flowers she’ll have to dig up in order to do that)... when she hears the door open behind her.
“Yo,” her older sister says (coolly, Ako might add), lowering herself down onto the empty space on the sofa next to her. “Oh, you playing that game again? What was it… the one with the poodle and the stingy raccoon?”
… Close enough, she guesses.
“Yeah! I’m gonna make some new pathways, I think. Maybe relocate the houses so they can be in a line and free up space for other stuff.”
“Sounds sweet!” Tomoe most likely didn’t even know you could do that, but Ako doesn’t mind. She’s always supportive, and she tries. “Does this game have any themed events today?”
Shit. Ako didn’t think about that.
“... Probably,” she replies blankly.
“Hey, what’s with the long face?” asks Tomoe, as kindly as she can. “You not get any cards today or something?”
Why is that always the assumption? Why is the only thing anyone can theorise she’s upset about today the idea that she doesn’t have that all-important Valentine? If she wanted one, she’d ask. Her and Rinrin would probably buy each other some cheap chocolate or something.
… It’s just bullshit, is all. She wouldn't care as much on any other day.
“I mean… I got some stuff from friends, but I didn’t want any romantic ones anyway. The chocolate they made was really nice too.”
“Ah, that’s cool. You got some from Himari, right? The way she makes it is always the best…” Tomoe seems to get lost in her own world somewhat. Ako couldn’t blame her: couples really like romantic days like this, after all. “The shapes are… less perfect, aha. But are you sure you don’t mind? You’re getting older now, y’know.”
She knows that. She knows she’s getting older but she missed any and all growth spurts (and that’s fine! Not like she cares!) and something else she missed was that first love everybody else had. Tomoe’s was Himari’s, Rinko’s was probably some handsome or cute Yuri character and hell, even stoic Sayo got her heart taken by a sweet baker.
Ako really is happy for them. She just doesn’t feel the same thing - and that’s the way she likes it.
It wasn’t like everyone was so bad to her today… the occasion just brought to mind a lot of unpleasant interactions, is all. If it made her feel sick, it made her feel sick, and that was that - she only wished it wasn’t such a popular topic in conversation.
“Look, Sis… It’s not that important, y’know? I don’t mind at all. So can you just… leave it, please?”
That only served to deepen Tomoe’s sympathy for her - the exact opposite of the ambivalence she wants so badly. Why can’t she just tell her what’s up? Just tell her that she doesn’t fall in love and doesn’t really want to either, that she doesn’t want to talk about Valentine’s Day because everyone’s so desperate to infer about her love life and she’s so repulsed by the thought of having one, that she just prefers to have it left alone today.
… Why has the thought of that always been subject to ridicule? It’s not exaggerating or spoilt, it’s merely the truth.
She can’t help not feeling the same as everyone else today.
“... What’s wrong, Ako?” asks Tomoe, her eyes soft with worry. “Did something happen today?”
“... No, nothing happened,” she divulged. “I just feel a bit gross today. I don’t… like this day very much. I mean, it’s awesome if anyone else does! But I’d just prefer it if it didn’t exist around me. I don’t like the connotations of it.”
Right now, Ako buries herself in worries and guilt as she waits for the final blow. All she needed now was for Tomoe to get all confused, any reason why someone could possibly dislike this holiday being applied to themself unimaginable. Or maybe she’d burst out in harsh anger, lamenting about how it’s just a fun holiday and she’s being a spoilsport. Maybe she’d dismiss and mock her, only talking about it more.
Ako expects any one of those things, or maybe all of them. But instead, she’s met with the kindness of someone who cares about her.
“Why didn’t you just tell me earlier? And here I’ve been going on and on about all the themed stuff going on at school… You must’ve felt so bad!” Tomoe empathised, her expression sympathetic - finally for a reason that isn’t utterly incongruent with all Ako is. “You’ve gotta come to me when you’re thinking this stuff, y’know. Don’t just let yourself be hurt when you know I’ll always listen to you.”
Hurt? She’s never thought that she could be hurt about today before. Ako only gets as far as acknowledging she’s mildly uncomfortable before the guilt she’s been conditioned into devours her. But when she thinks about the way everyone reacts, the way everyone belittles and gets offended by her…
Well… it does hurt to be treated like that.
“... Thanks, Sis,” she responds earnestly, her voice as gentle as can be. “I appreciate it. I’ll tell you this stuff from now on.”
“Good!” Tomoe praises, that excessive volume back in her voice. “Now, are we gonna play Crossy Roads or not?”
“Uh… It’s kinda a single-player game. And Crossy Roads isn’t on console, I think…”
“Ah,” she blurts, off-guard and embarrassed from having her naivety exposed. “Well, I’ll watch then!”
“Yeah, I’d like that!” enthuses Ako. “Thanks, Sis. I can show you all the rooms I redesigned. They’re all themed too!”
“I can’t wait,” she agrees. “And anytime, Ako.”
Maybe today wasn't going to produce all bad feelings after all.