Work Text:
By all definitions, Aya Maruyama was a pretty pink lesbian nerd.
As a child, she would dress up as fairy princesses or magical girls with sparkling glitter wands. Whenever she watched cartoons on TV, she would be a little too interested in the assertive older sister compared to the male love interest, and she would spend hours dreaming up scenarios between different pairings of female characters that she didn’t realise weren’t platonic until she woke up in a cold sweat one night, heart racing with the revelation that yes, eight-year-old Aya Maruyama was a lesbian too.
By fewer definitions, Aya Maruyama was aromantic.
She didn’t really mind that others doubted such an integral part of her - well, she tried not to. She didn’t feel romantic attraction, and that was all she needed to qualify. She longed to indulge in romantic things, had an obsessive interest in romantic Yuri manga and invested far too much time in shipping within fandoms even today at seventeen; not a single one of those things disqualified her from being aromantic, or made her any less so than an aromantic person who was her complete opposite.
Like her girlfriend, Chisato Shirasagi.
It wasn’t much of a secret that Aya loved Chisato - well, within their circle of friends. The idol business, not so much. She loved Chisato in a way most queerplatonic and least romantic, and that was ideal because Chisato had an interesting hobby of running for the hills when it came to her and romance.
Unfortunately for Chisato, being a teenage actress meant her career involved an awful lot of romance. That usually pertained to kissing scenes with men, the annoying actors who played those characters getting a little too comfortable with their role offstage and a lot of romance wherever she looked. The only escape she had from that was her girlfriend, who - while certainly obsessed with romance - was always the first to empathise with her.
They might not have seen eye-to-eye, but they had always accepted each other, and that was all that mattered to either of them. Aya never thought Chisato was a spoilsport or overreacting, and Chisato never thought Aya was trying to seem special or wasn’t really aromantic.
That being said… there were still the occasional lapses from time to time.
“I just don’t get what you mean,” Chisato huffed. Pointing to the bold love interest (who had a bubble attached to her reading, “well, how about I warm you up from the cold then?”), she expressed, “I would never say anything like that. I’ll chase after you with an umbrella, Aya-chan, but after that you need to find a radiator.”
“It’s not about what she’s saying! It’s about the vibes!” Slamming her hands on the two-page spread, she repeated, “The. Vibes. They’re your vibes!”
On the second page, the love interest (who she had been so wrongly kinassigned) had taken up the other’s cheek and started to lean in for a romantic, butterflies-inducing kiss. Chisato felt something awful trickle down her spine at the very notion.
“No. That isn’t me in the slightest,” she stood firm. “I’m quite offended by that depiction, actually.”
At the sound of that, Aya began flailing around for a flimsy defence. “But! I really like that character! She makes me feel all, like… well, nice and warm! Like you do!”
“Flattery will get you nowhere. She’s nothing like me,” insisted Chisato. “Why do you want us to be like this couple anyway?”
“Because they are like us!” Never let it be said that Aya knew nothing about perseverance. “See, the first character is all easily flustered by the second one, who’s all strong and assertive but really a sweetheart deep down and oh my God she’s so gorgeous. And the second one has a soft spot for the first because the first one is really unlucky in a lot of things, but she never gives up because she wants to keep growing and doing the things that make her happy, even when they’re hard.”
“I see. But, well… That’s one interpretation,” Chisato redirected. “It seems to me that the second character is too headstrong. What is she thinking, moving in to kiss that character without even asking?”
“Because it’s ro-man-tic, Chisato-chan!” Aya justified. “See, the other girl likes it! And she could tell that all along!”
“Well, I would not have assumed in the first place. Unless I hear verbal agreement, it won’t be going ahead.”
“Do you need verbal agreement every time you have any kind of affection with me? Isn’t it enough to just assume you have it based on all the other times I’ve been happy with it?”
“That’s different,” she pointed out, separating herself from that… that scoundrel. “We’re in an established relationship. I already know your boundaries and what you’re comfortable with. I also know which things you want me to ask about every time I do it, and which things I can assume consent for.”
“Fine,” whined Aya. “I still think their dynamic is like ours though.”
Huffing a pained sigh, Chisato just shook her head.
“But… Look!” Aya persisted, pushing up the manga so Chisato could see it more clearly. “They’re just like us, don’t you think?”
After a nerve-wracking minute of scrutinisation, Chisato merely commented, “... You actually like this?”
For some reason, that didn’t seem too related to the rest of their argument. Sure, Chisato could maybe dismiss it as meaning something similar if probed, but...
No. This was different.
“You mean the manga?” Aya checked. “I do. I like romance stories like this, you know.”
“No, not that,” she dismissed. “I mean… taking different relationships and assigning them to us. It just seems to me as though… No. Nevermind.”
“Huh?” The rug had just been pulled out from under her, and she was scrambling for some footing. “Um… you can tell me what you really think, you know! I won’t be hurt by it!”
“It’s nothing, Aya,” Chisato assured, her iron smile tightening in that way it did around all the actors and managers she had to mingle with; Aya was losing her. “I just got a little distracted.”
“Hey.” Aya spoke softly, hoping Chisato wouldn’t shy away again. “ I… I want to hear it, you know. What you have to say.”
“... It’s nothing,” she denied. “I just… Aren’t you satisfied with me?”
“What do you mean?” Aya asked immediately, alarmed. “Of course I am.”
“No, no… I mean that you really enjoy this kind of thing. All the romance, I mean, and I know you’d like that sort of thing for yourself…” explained Chisato. “But I also know that I can’t provide that for you. Doesn’t that disappoint you, even a little?”
“I… Why would it?” she continued. “I like the way our relationship is, and I like you. What I wouldn’t like is you doing something you’re uncomfortable with.”
“Then why do you always want to see us in a relationship like this?” Chisato countered, smoothing out the pages of Aya’s manga so she could examine them more clearly. “I can’t do that for you, but I don’t want to just… leave you unsatisfied.”
“Well… when I compare us against those two, I see two people who care about each other in both.” Then, reaching out to cover Chisato’s hand with her own, she added, “And I see a good girlfriend. Better than good.”
“... You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not! You don’t need to, like, corner me with passion or whatever to be a good girlfriend.” That description was very dubious, and they both knew it. “You’re a good girlfriend everyday. That shows when you give me performance tips, or get two of anything you bring home, or comfort me even when you don’t get why I’m crying, or notice whenever my singing has improved!” Evaluating everything she said, Aya paused for a moment, before noting, “You don’t have to fit the usual definition to be a good girlfriend. You don’t have to be romantic. You just have to be someone I can love, and you are that - even if you don’t see it.”
Gaze trained on the pages of the manga, Chisato remained silent. Then, very quietly, she maintained: “... And you don’t want to change anything?”
“Not at all.”
“... This is embarrassing,” she digressed. “I didn’t mean to let my insecurity get the better of me. Sorry, Aya-chan.”
“It really is fine, though!” insisted Aya. “Ehe, I’ve gotta be a good girlfriend too sometimes.”
Neither of them said anything for a moment. Then, as subtly as she could, Chisato leaned her head onto Aya’s shoulder.
And Aya, ever the pretty pink lesbian nerd, accepted.