Work Text:
It was a long time ago, that Thanatos had first felt the special little twist in his gut. By now, he was almost used to it. It meant Zagreus died. Just like always, he had felt him die, felt just the shortest wave of fear wash over himself, then remembered the Prince would be stepping out of the Styx as cheerful as ever, greeted by his brother. It was a well timed death too, just as Thanatos planned on returning to the House of Hades. Looking forward to meet Zagreus in the hall, he switched places.
Hypnos was scribbling into his reports as he noticed Thanatos stepping up to him "Ah one of my favourite grim-looking brothers, what can humble sleep do for you?"
"Greetings to you too, Hypnos. I was wondering if you knew whether is Zagreus already on his way again, I cannot seem to find him, although he just died."
Slowly, Hypnos flipped a few pages "Nah, cannot say he did, been out there for quite some time even. Sorry!”
Confused, Than considered the statement for a moment. He was sure of what he felt. Maybe his brother had fallen asleep and therefore not noticed Zagreus slipping by? Hypnos was sloppy in his work and seeing he was the God of Sleep, hardly really to blame for sleeping. He thought about asking Achilles or Nyx if the prince had cut his stay in the house even shorter than usual, but what was the point? Zagreus wasn't here, Thanatos could go back to his work. They would meet again another time, like always.
It was a long time, until the worrying was addressed. Thanatos had already searched, of course, but Zagreus was nowhere to be found. Every time he came back to the House, Achilles confirmed it, the lad hadn't been there for an unusual long time period.
Megaera and Thanatos had talked in Zagreus' empty chamber, where his continuing absence made their chests ache, and they promised each other to look out for him.
Did Zagreus finally reach the surface? Did his Olympic family fetch him so he could join them? But Thanatos knew he had died. He had died and not returned. Neither Charon knew what that meant, nor their mother.
Nyx had had hushed talks.
Until she regarded Hades.
Then the House shook, as the God slammed his fists on the desk. Cerberus winced, already pretty sad since Zagreus went missing. Did he? Was he really missing? Wasn't he always on and about? No, never this long. Something wasn't right.
"What is this talk of my son having left? Where is that wretched boy? Do you think a son of mine could wander the surface for long?! Ridiculous," his voice was less loud now, but not less harsh, "Find him. I feel the need to lecture him about leaving you all this gloomy and miserable."
This is how it got official: Zagreus, the prince of the underworld, was missing.
-------------------------------
Time went by like an ongoing nightmare. News spread like a wildfire. Despair like a pest.
They carried it in their heavy hearts, passing quiet halls, where everything constantly reminded them of Zagreus. Had he not chosen the interior of the hall? Hasn’t it been him who had always cheered them up? Connecting them, lighting their existence, bearing gifts no one asked for to make them smile? He was missed. By now the hope this was something harmless had faded to something irrational they only clung to as a sooth. Mostly, the narrative was clear: Zagreus disappeared and whatever happened, he needed their help.
What was a worst-case scenario, other than a possible cruel fate Zagreus ended up in? Maybe somewhere he was stuck, like Atlas was stuck carrying the world. Or chained up, like Prometheus, also being torn apart. Or someone had devoured him, like Kronos once devoured his children. There was no clue, no trail to follow, no suspect. How incompetent could the whole underworld be, losing their prince and not finding him again?
By now it had been so long, guilt was just a constant part of their souls.
Maybe the prince had been lost forever. Born dying, thankfully saved with the help of Nyx and the Fates, bringing them all joy and life. Only to disappear when the boy had wormed his way into all their hearts? When he had just grown up enough to rebel against his father, trying to find his own place in life? He was the youngest one, the one with the biggest heart, the one who deserved to be happy, right? The narrative was still: he will be found. But it began to feel more like an: he will be missed, always.
"So the Olympians still don't know anything either." Thanatos concluded again, not able to hide the strain of despair in his voice.
It wasn’t their first meeting, just one of many. They seemed to become pointless. No one ever knew anything about Zagreus, but they always listed everything they had, every detail, everyone who was helping them search, all they could recall from the day (-or night-) of his disappearance. Once, Thanatos had confessed to his mother, when he couldn’t take it anymore, that maybe they should stop that nonsense. His forehead had rested on her shoulder and Nyx’ hand on his head in a consoling way. She had told him, then, to not give up. That every meeting was a chance for a new idea, for noticing something they oversaw before. Of course, she was right, she was almost always right. It was just so tiring. Would they search for the rest of eternity, never finding their prince?
Megaera had her hands clenched into fists, "Tch. Surely he cannot just vanish?!"
Nyx thought it over once again, as calm as ever, like the worry was something she couldn't show. And she really couldn’t, not when everyone around her already despaired. Someone had to keep them together, right? At least she could try. So, she repeated what they gathered again, like she did before, and before that, and way before that: "We know he was trying to leave once again and was last seen by Patroclus in Elysium, who described him as gravely injured. You said you felt him die what must have been soon after that, Thanatos."
She got a nod as her son confirmed: "I am sure of that."
He wasn't sure anymore.
In fact, Thanatos wasn't sure of anything anymore. But neither was anyone else, he guessed, and no one had questioned the information of Zagreus’ death felt by him.
The House just wasn’t the same since Zagreus’ disappearance.
Cerberus had wrecked it a couple of times. Achilles had found it to be almost satisfying, like at least someone got their tension out. The Gods knew how much he wanted to destroy anything, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything, it wouldn’t bring the lad back. He couldn’t bring the lad back.
Of course, Hades scolded the dog, but it seemed even the ruler of the underworld couldn’t find it in him to blame the dog much, absentmindedly petting one head in a rough way more often than usual.
Megaera’s stays at the House had shortened, as soon as she got the news that there were, frankly, no news on Zagreus, she left again. By now it felt like she had searched every chamber of the underworld twice, even persuaded her sisters to join the search, although Hades had ordered his son to be found anyway, so guess it came with the job now.
"So he died. But never emerged from the Styx to come into the House." Nyx' voice died down as she gazed upon the red river at the end of the hall.
Hypnos' voice has lost quite much of it's usual chirp as he added: "Charon can't explain it, hasn't seen him swimming in there or waiting for a boat ride anywhere.”
Meg tapped one foot on the floor, her patience running thin. That man was gonna get a whipping as soon as he set a step back in the house for making everyone worry like that. She regretted the thought immediately. It was a gnawing feeling in her gut: Zagreus wasn’t fine. He didn’t disappear like that willingly. He wouldn’t do that to them, right? He had always been fine, never really careful but always a lively one. Maybe she wouldn’t roll her eyes at him handing her a bottle of nectar ever again.
No.
The whole underworld was searching, chthonic beings, Gods and Goddesses, even the Olympus she didn’t trust. They would figure it out.
“So if you felt him die and he didn’t emerge… then he is just dead, right?”
By Zeus, Thanatos felt like killing his brother for that suggestion. He wasn’t one to get angry easily, but it surely flamed up as the statement was only met with silence. Everyone wanted to protest. But what was there to protest? Zagreus had presumably died like always. And there was no usual rebirth afterwards. Somehow, it felt worse than the imagination of Zagreus being caged somewhere. What if it was true? What if, somehow, Zagreus had just died? What if somehow his soul had been destroyed? They didn’t know how that could have happened, but by now it was one of the more realistic possibilities, right?
That he vanished because he completely died… and could never be found again. That they shouldn’t search, but instead, mourn.
They didn’t know how to mourn. After all, this was the Underworld. Would they keep his room as a place to remember? Would they replace the curtains he had bought when they withered to dust? Would they speak his name to recall it or wrap a silencing blanket of shame and sorrow around the matter of a dark-haired boy with fire-licked feet? Eternity is long enough to forget and nothing was more frightening than the thought of forgetting that lovely laugh and the differently coloured, kind eyes.
“Did he ever describe to anyone the process between his death and his emerge from the Styx?” Nyx asked, thankfully distracting everyone from Hypnos’ suggestion.
It still haunted their minds, a hollow and hurtful echo.
Then he is just dead.
Several members of their little conference in the hall looked at him. Guess Thanatos was deemed the most likely person Zagreus would have talked to about it. The attention and the helplessness nagged at him and he felt the need to just zap out of there once again. Maybe lay down in Zagreus’ bed, cover his head with the blanket until he could close his eyes, breath in the familiar smell and pretend it was one of the hugs he longed for. But what help would his cowardice be to Zagreus? So he just slightly shook his head:
“He just…. He dies and a pool of the Styx emerges and he sinks into it. Next he knows, he stands up in the Styx right there and… steps out. For all I know. Nothing he has to do, no extra steps.”
Megaera had nodded along at first, having witnessed and caused Zagreus’ death several times. His comeback, when the prince stepped out like a returned hero (or rather a defeated young godling with much to learn), had been witnessed by almost all of them at this point.
“So the Styx fucked up?” asked Megaera, desperate to blame someone or something.
They were all gazing upon the river now, like it would just, maybe, remember it’s task and spit out the cheerful boy again.
Except Nyx, who looked at Meg thoughtfully, like she had given wisdom and insight.
And Hades himself, who had not participated in the meeting at all, acting like he ignored it in favour of his paperwork, but now he slowly set his pen aside. He had known his Olympic family wouldn’t be any help in finding his son, when had they ever been any help? He knew what most even down here didn’t: that Zagreus couldn’t survive outside of this realm for long. Although not admitting it, he trusted his subjects and knew they gave all they had in the search. And this was everything they came up with? The Styx fucked up?
His deep voice rumbled across the hall: “Let’s ask if the Styx fucked up, so we can rule that out.” He stood up.
Meg nearly ducked. She didn’t understand the meaning of Hades’ remark, but she certainly didn’t mean anything by her words. It wasn’t even a smart thing to say. Although not being half as apologetic as a certain dark-haired boy, she considered this to be a good moment to start:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I just said that, Lord Hades.”
But Nyx stepped over to the river too, her face stern, like she got the message. And Hades waved his hand at the fury: “If that’s what we’re left with, it should be done.”
He walked past confused subjects and fleeing souls. Cerberus, who had rested all heads on the floor and was the most miserable dog in the whole underworld, now raised two heads, not understanding what was going on, but knowing something would happen.
Just like the rest.
Gigaros, his spear, was clutched in his hand. Now he let it pound on the ground once, leaving the whole Hall shaking, before Hades raised his voice:
“Styx! As ruler of the Underworld, I call upon you!”
Remembrance set in, Thanatos recalled some humans believing Styx to be the daughter of Nyx and Erebos. While he had many sisters, Styx was a daughter of Oceanus and Tethys, as far as he knew. Death was old, but he could not recall ever setting his eyes on the Goddess, always knowing her as this constant flow of blood. Was she even conscious? He felt a spark of hope in his heart. Hades never showed any appreciation for his son, but now that the latter was gone, he apparently did want to get him back. And if he was personally calling upon Styx, she would certainly show up and help them, too. She might be the last being Zagreus was in contact with.
It took a moment.
Long enough for the frown in Hades’ face to deepen. Neither really dared to move, but Achilles and Hypnos were already sure nothing would happen, as the surface of the river bubbled like it was heating up even more.
Swirls of it’s water (or it’s blood, really, what a mystery), flew up, entwined with each other, ever moving and yet forming something. They formed the Goddess Styx herself, although her body did seem to be just the content of the river, nothing constant there whatsoever. Drops of her dripped constantly from her fingers, and the swirls made it fascinating to look at her, but also brought a headache to Megaera.
She didn’t knew why she immediately disliked the personified river. Probably because her first thought had been, if she were to slash her with her whip, it might just go right through the body, but wouldn’t damage the Goddess in the slightest. Why she immediately thought of ‘How do I defeat this Goddess? How do I inflict pain on her’? Because that’s what she does, as a fury. It is her job and the search for weak points a pleasure of hers.
Hypnos was bewildered, a bit astonished. Has she always been there? Had she ever stuck her head out of the rest of her and witnessed his sleep at some time? He didn’t care who saw him sleep and he wouldn’t start to now, but it still left a weird feeling. But he was a sucker for badass women and couldn’t deny a certain awe.
Never trust a God nor Goddess, Achilles had learned in his lifetime and stood by it in death still. He had been a plaything for the Gods and he knew they had their own reasoning and didn’t exactly care for anyone lesser. Gods did cruel things. So he wasn’t exactly excited to meet Styx. As far as he knew that river did it’s job and there were already enough different sentient beings with all their little conflicts in this hall, including himself. But if this would help the lad, sure, anything to get the boy back. When Achilles was young, he had been reckless. He hadn’t spent his life doing much good. Zagreus on the other hand was the nicest boy he knew. Always eager to please others, to befriend everyone and always a vibrance of life. Whatever happened, it couldn’t be anything good and the lad didn’t deserve it. So, everything to bring him home. Distantly he recalled the day he had killed the river god Scamander, called Xanthos by others, a brother to the Goddess before them, as far as he knew.
“Styx, we welcome you,” Nyx said the greeting like the river hadn’t been there for aeons, but maybe there was a difference to the river and this form of a woman, “we are in search of Zagreus, son of Hades. He is a special one, bleeds as red as you are, dies and comes to life again in your currents, right there.”
It was hard to describe the noise that left Styx, like an angry snarl. Like she was a wounded animal, ready to slash out and defend herself, although no one had fought her.
Nyx sounded harder now: “I take it you know him.”
The Goddess seemed so angry, her own head just kind of exploded, the drops splashing into the river, while the swirls immediately formed a new one. Somehow, somewhen, this could have been ridiculous, but it just looked terrifying now.
Her alien voice didn’t help sooth that first impression:
“I know him. I know everyone who went into a swim in here and he was most certainly the only one making it his hobby.”
There was so much rage in her voice, such hate.
They had all been sure Hades was the one who resented Zagreus the most, but it seems they were wrong. The very one had no patience for this anymore:
“Where is he? Why didn’t he step into the hall like a wet rag after his last death?”
He was certainly suspecting her to have a part in this, and who could blame him after her little speech.
“Oh? Not only him, you were all counting on me to continue this service? I don’t recall agreeing on letting him pass, ever. Still, I let it happen for a long time, didn’t I? But that boy wasn’t going to stop on his own anytime soon. So I put an end to this constant trespassing.”
I put an end to this constant trespassing.
The grip on his scythe tightened, although not in a fighting stance. Thanatos could leave that to Megaera, who knew she wasn’t likely to kill Styx herself, but she would love to try.
So Styx was the one to blame after all.
There was nothing in her head except the urge to paint the whole House red until the riverbed was empty.
There was a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from lurching forward.
Achilles didn’t want to overstep, but he knew the rage of facing the one who took your love away. He had had his killing spree in the aftermath. Sure, he would aid Megaera, but death had taught him there were battles he shouldn’t fight. And battles Megaera shouldn’t fight. He would like to let her tear Styx apart after she told them where Zagreus was, but he doubted Hades would agree with it.
By now, Hypnos had nearly hidden behind his brother, disgusted to have felt awe for this fucking river, relieved to have Cerberus at his side, because the creature was more of a beast than a dog now, standing up, snarling, drool dropping on the floor as he growled.
They were engulfed in growing darkness, though, as the night herself was ready to do whatever it took to get the boy she raised back.
Her voice was more than just sounds, a heart-piercing call of primordial energy:
“What did you do to Zagreus?”
The swirls of Styx seemed to have slowed and Hades wished it was because of fear. He had wanted to blame the foolishness of the boy for his demise, his stupid siblings of Olympus who encouraged the silly adventure of his son. He had hoped it was their fault his son was gone. But instead it was Styx. A Goddess in his own realm and he didn’t consider it. One of his subjects, in a way. How could a subject dare to hurt the Prince of the realm? Zagreus had always treated everyone like an equal so they forgot he was royalty, it was obvious he would loose respect, but this was simply intolerable, even if Zagreus wouldn’t be his son. He was ready to plunge Gigaros in her heart, although she might not have one.
“I kept him,” Styx simply said.
Hades refrained from killing her for now and hoped Nyx would do the same. He didn’t rule the Underworld to have it torn to shreds now, not over a stupid little river Goddess.
“Bring him back, Styx. As long as your doomed being flows in my realm, you obey my command. Do you think you’re untouchable? I can set this realm so you flow in miserable circles in the most desolated parts of the underworld. You surely know your five companions, all rivers I can simply redirect to have one of them bring the souls of the dead to this hall.”
Styx seemed to hesitate, at that.
Didn’t Hades hate his son? Why did he mind his absence? Why didn’t he approve? Wasn’t he the one thinking of Zagreus as a nuisance? One she had taken care of.
Surely neither melancholic Lethe nor fiery Phlegethon were fit for her job and Cocytus could never manage that. The thought stung. She was mighty, circling the underworld seven times, but especially Acheron threatened her stance as principal river of the underworld.
Nyx didn’t want to wait until Styx thought the meaning of this over, but she realised Styx did value her role and prestige, misinterpreting Zagreus’ ignorance (or rather, lack of knowledge) regarding her as an insult to the latter, which caused the whole misery. Time to use this weakness.
“I swear by your very name I’ll do what it takes to make the whole world forget your existence, if you don’t bring Zagreus back now.”
A vow in Styx’ name was not be taken lightly. Rather, if you want to be safe, you don’t vow on her at all, but Night herself knew no fear for herself, only for the children she loved.
A snarl left Styx again, fed up by this situation. She didn’t stand a chance and she didn’t have a reason to pick a fight with Nyx, or Hades.
“Fine, you can have what’s left of him.”
With that, all the swirls suddenly fell down into the rest of the river with a splash. Abruptly, Styx was gone. Or rather, the river was still there, but not the presence of the Goddess.
What’s left of him.
What’s left of Zagreus.
They would get him back after all.
Get back what was left of him.