Chapter Text
Chapter I (Eve) – Guess This Is the Winter
Eve’s phone vibrated once more as she entered the apartment. She threw it on the sofa with her bag and trench coat. She released a long sigh as she went around the kitchen. The kettle whistled painfully as she prepared a mug for some camomile tea. It had been three weeks since the break-up, but Trevor kept calling dozens of times a day. During the night, while she was at work, to her landline, through social media... Constant texts on every available platform. For the first few days, he would even wait for her at her door so, without thinking twice, she moved to a new apartment by the end of that same week. It was driving her insane. She couldn’t even think from how exhausted she felt.
Earlier in that afternoon, her colleague and dear friend Lucy had sat her down and asked her about it. She had noticed the constant calls and texts. Even with the phone on silent mode, the screen kept flashing next to Eve with the word “scumbag” in big white letters. Her friend was worried. But, despite her effort to get Lucy to relax by telling her it’s all over and that she was doing fine now, she was vehemently advised to block his number. Eve realised what an idiot she had been for not having thought of it earlier, but since she never had to do that to anyone, it hadn’t crossed her mind. Plus, at the beginning, he would only call a few times a day, not the frenzy that he was currently submitting her to. As if he was demanding that she talks to him. As if it was her obligation to do so.
She sat at her desk, hands taking in the heat from the mug. As she turned on the computer, she felt that weight sinking in at the bottom of her stomach. She was almost used to it. Shutting her eyes, she clenched her fists so hard that she could feel her nails denting into her palms. As if the way he had treated her for much of their five months relationship hadn’t been bad enough, he was still putting her through this. She felt ashamed. Ashamed that she had allowed someone to treat her so badly. Ashamed that it had taken her so long to realise what she was getting herself into. Ashamed that she couldn’t stand up for herself at the time of the break-up. Ashamed that she still felt so nervous every time he called.
How could something that had started so well have ended so badly?
But she was also angry. Angry that he would dare treat anyone this way. Angry at his audacity to act like this after the breakup. Angry that it was useless to be angry after the deed was done. Angry that she had been so naïve and that he had dared taking advantage of it.
She swallowed her pain and pride and searched how to block a number. It was fairly simple and it took her no more than a minute. Then, she blocked him on all of her social media. Eve sat in awe for a while, staring at her phone, almost expecting it to light up with a call from him anyway. But nothing happened. For the first time in weeks, she felt at peace. A colossal weight lifted from her shoulders.
She took a long, steamy shower. Felt the water travelling through the full length of her skin. The sound of the droplets on the floor healed her, bit by bit. When she got out, both her body and mind felt lighter.
For the rest of the evening, she kept glancing at her phone every few minutes. No call. No text. Nothing. It was hard to believe. She wished she had done it sooner. Eve slept decently for the first time since she had left him.
The next few days were a blessing. A breath of fresh air. Her sleeping schedule achieved the closest possible to normalcy. She could finally focus on her work at the publisher. She even smiled and laughed a couple of times. Lucy seemed relieved, and Eve was grateful for it. She didn’t want to see her friend worrying about her own mess. She knew it came from a good place but it made her feel worse to be the cause of it.
After another Friday lunch with Lucy at the small café across the street, she eagerly strode to the coffee machine at the entrance of the office floor. She grabbed the paper cup and headed to her office, barely paying attention to her friend’s small talk. It was something about a dress... She couldn’t bring herself to focus on it.
As she sat down and absentmindedly let out a long sigh, Lucy stopped talking mid-sentence. Eve finally looked her in the eyes and saw concern.
“Eve…” She visibly flinched with guilt, but Lucy knew better. “Want to go to that new restaurant tonight? The one Jason mentioned the other day...”
She felt her whole body relax and gave her an appreciative smile. Lucy had been asking ‘are you okay?’ so often that it was doing the opposite of helping.
“The one by the river?” Lucy nodded her reply. “Sure. Sounds good.”
“It’s a date, then!” Lucy grinned briefly before walking out to her own office, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Lucy had been so supportive those past few weeks that it only made her feel bad about not getting better fast enough. She wasn’t really in a mood to go out, but she figured it would ease her friend’s mind. And, quite frankly, she hadn’t done anything besides working and sleeping since the breakup. It was taking its toll on her to adapt to her new situation. Not the being alone part, even though she felt lonelier than ever. But the part where she actually came to terms with what had happened. How Trevor had somehow taken control of their routine together... It felt as if she had almost disappeared into it. She just couldn’t get past the gloom that had stuck around during the relationship. It had creeped in so slowly, gradually and imperceptibly, during the small moments... And now she was stuck with it.
She gulped down the rest of her coffee and forced herself to focus on editing the text she’d been working on before lunch. The rest of the day was slow and uneventful but she managed to stay out of her head in order to get things done.
By the time the workday was over, Eve was actually glad she had somewhere to go that wasn’t her place. She needed to get out of her head and out of the apartment. Holing up in there and pushing away the rest of the world would do no good for her mental state. Eve couldn’t help it, though. It was a knee jerk reaction. Most of the time she just wanted the world to fade away.
She entered Lucy’s office so they could go together. Her friend seemed excited. Before leaving, they stopped by the bathroom so they could apply some bright red lipstick. According to Lucy, they had to “own it” to make the most of the evening.
As they got to the restaurant, Eve was pleasantly surprised with the decor. It had a lot of wooden furniture and tiny potted plants, so the colour palette was a pleasant mix of light browns, pale yellows and greens. With soft orange light poured around the room, it emitted a very soothing aura. Perfect for her frail mood.
There was only one couple waiting in line when they entered. As the waitress turned away to guide the couple to their table, Lucy pulled her arm.
“We have to take a picture!” She exclaimed excitedly.
Before she even had time to answer, her friend was already sticking her arm out with the phone ready. She barely had time to muster a lacklustre smile before Lucy was taking the first of several photographs.
She wasn’t a big fan of being in front of a camera but she went along with what her friend wanted so she’d feel like she was truly present in the moment. The waitress came back around and showed them to a table for two near the entrance. Each table had a centrepiece. A small vase with a pink succulent and two candles was theirs. Her friend immediately took a photo of it, with a satisfied smile torn from one ear to the other.
When the waiter brought the menus, Lucy finally looked up from her phone and stared at her for a few seconds instead. Eve could feel her piercing stare and reluctantly looked up from her own menu.
“Babe, how are you?” Her hand fell between them on the table as her dark brown eyes kept holding Eve’s gaze. “Really. How do you feel?”
Eve took a deep breath in and planted her hand on her friend’s. Then she released the air as she answered.
“I’m getting better.” Seeing Lucy’s eyebrows furrow with worry, she added “I promise.”
“I know you’re not a big fan of discussing feelings,” she squeezed Eve’s hand while shrugging “but what you went through was rough. It’s okay to not be okay. And you know I’m here for whatever you may need.”
Lucy’s warmth and the sad smile that followed her words made Eve’s eyes tingle with unruly, unshed tears. She took a moment to stop herself from crying before answering, gulping down the knot in her throat.
“I know.” She squeezed back her hand in reassurance, and she meant every word. “You’re an angel.”
Lucy’s brows seemed to lose some tension at that. As Eve sighed her relief, the waiter appeared at their side.
“Would the ladies like to order now?”
Lucy stared blankly at the menu for a few seconds before a mischievous smile spread across her face. She turned to Eve.
“I know what we need.” Then to the waiter. “Bring us two mojitos, please.”
They chatted carelessly and were already on their second mojito, waiting for their food to arrive. Meanwhile, Lucy was telling her about the time she went to the zoo during her 7th grade. This boy had bugged her and the other girls all day long. Then, as they reached the ostrich den, he stuck his hand in a hole in the fence to tease the birds when suddenly one of them came running. He tried to remove his hand, but it was stuck, so he got pecked a couple of times before the teacher could pull him out. The damage to his hand wasn’t serious, but the girls laughed so hard that he didn’t bother them for the rest of the year.
The story made Eve laugh heartily. Then, they started chatting about the new projects they had been given at the publisher. Eve was particularly excited about this one book written by a 15 year-old about the many lives of a girl possessed by a demon.
Their food arrived and Lucy asked for two more mojitos. Eve narrowed her eyes in feigned distrust.
“Lucy King, are you trying to get me drunk?”
Her friend cackled as she cut a piece of the beef.
“How does the expression go?” She drove the fork into her mouth, speaking through the mouthful. “Oh, yeah! ‘Wine me and dine me first.’ That’s what I’m doing.”
Eve tittered and raised a hand to her chest in faux shock.
“Stop hitting on me! I’ll tell your boyfriend!”
As the drinks arrived and she took the first sip, Eve felt her cheeks burning from the alcohol. Apart from a bit of whiskey before going to sleep, she hadn’t properly drank in a while and it felt better than she remembered.
The rest of the meal was a mess of tipsy giggles and silly stories. At the end of it, Lucy paid for the whole thing and took her to a nearby bar.
The drinks had made her forget about anything and everything. Eve could feel herself truly relax for what felt like the first time in a lifetime. She half-heartedly said she didn’t want to dance as she was dragged to the middle of the dance floor. The two of them ended up dancing quite mindlessly, and messily, as if time wasn’t real. Lucy rubbed herself on her, provoking loud strife from both of them.
As the alcohol started to wear off, they finally walked back to their cars. Eve suddenly remembered to check the time. It was already 2 a.m. Nothing to worry about, though, since she could sleep late in the morning. The chill air of the night infiltrated her nostrils mercilessly and sobered her up as they reached the parking lot. Lucy hugged her tight and swirled them both around with a soft chuckle. Then, she put her hands firmly on Eve’s shoulders and her face turned serious.
“Do you want me to drive you home?” Eve shook her head. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
Eve solemnly removed the hands from her shoulders and nodded. She started walking backwards towards the driver seat of her car.
“I’m fine, really. No worries. I’m not far away from home, anyway.”
Lucy looked doubtful but after staring at her for a few seconds, she slowly nodded her approval and shot her a quick smile.
“Goodnight, then.” She turned to her own car and yelled over her shoulder. “Drive safe, babe!”
Eve watched her walk away with her own hand frozen over the door handle. Lucy was a really good friend. She should consider herself lucky.
She got into the car and drove to the sounds of Smooth FM, drowned in her own thoughts once again as the music flowed through the surrounding stillness. She wasn’t okay yet. Yet. But there was a sliver of hope growing in her.
The drive was short but she could feel her body getting number by the second. As she looked for the house keys, arriving at the door of the building, she thought to herself that it was going to be a good night’s sleep. That’s when she heard footsteps a few metres away from her, getting closer so quickly that they startled her. She went from startled to terrified in half a second as she looked up and saw who it was. Trevor. Her ex-boyfriend was marching towards her, looking not-so-friendly. So, without a second thought, she fumbled with the keys and entered the building.
“Eve, wait! I just want to talk! Damn it! Wait!” His voice didn’t sound diplomatic or calm at all. It made her start shaking involuntarily.
Eve wanted to be brave. She really did. But the panic in her chest was so sudden and suffocating that she ran towards the stairs even though she lived all the way up on the fifth floor. Her breath was fast and shallow and she felt lightheaded as she ran up. It didn’t help that her whole body kept shaking so much that she almost failed a step multiple times. She felt all the blood on her body pump so hard that she could hear it passing through her ears and her head was burning up like it was about to burst.
“Eve, for fuck sake!” The shouting kept coming from somewhere below. “I just want to talk to you! You owe me at least that much!”
Every word he said just made her run faster. Finally arriving at her floor, she practically flew to the apartment door. As Trevor reached it, she had already closed it behind her. She locked it and just stared at it with wild eyes, like she could see him through it. Eve threw the handbag somewhere on the floor and took a few hesitant steps backwards. He started banging on the door.
“Go away!” She heard her own trembling voice leave her lips. If only she could sound more assertive.
“Eve, be reasonable!” Every word made her flinch. “I just want to talk to you! I know I fucked up but I can change! Just let me try again!”
She felt tears filling her eyes and sat on the floor with a hard thud, staring at the door from a few metres away. He kept shouting and banging. She sniffled as tears ran freely over both her cheeks. Why was he doing this? Didn’t he realize how terrifying he was being? Didn’t he understand it was too late? She was shaking so much and her heart beating so fast that her fingers and toes were growing numb. She hugged her knees tight and just wished for him to go away and never come back. Then she wished she was anywhere else in the world. It just had to stop…
“Eve!” He shouted even louder as he banged his fist on the wood. He went silent for a few seconds and she could hear him breathing through gritted teeth. “Don’t think you’re going to get rid of me so easily. We still have things to discuss.”
He growled and punched the door hard again, making her jump out of her skin. She had to cover her mouth so he wouldn’t hear the sobbed gasp. He went so silent that the only sound she could hear was her own quiet sniffling. After a while, too long for her broken heart, she heard his footsteps growing distant. They were slow and heavy, as if weighed down by his intentions. She was still in shock. Terrified. But she knew she had to check if he was really gone or still near the door, no matter how unresponsive her body and mind were.
Gathering what semblance of strength she had left in her, Eve forced herself off the ground. Still trembling, she walked hastily to the door and looked through the peep hole. Nothing. The hall looked as empty as ever, almost as if she had dreamt it. Then, she put her ear against the wood. The elevator doors could be heard through the building’s hall. That was good enough for her to leave the subject at that moment. As good as it would get right then and there without her putting herself at further risk, she thought bitterly.
She stumbled into the living room and fell heavily onto the couch as the tears came with full force. Eve cried until she had no more strength in her. No more tears. Eventually, she just hugged one of the pillows under her and stayed like that until her breathing acquired a somewhat calmer pace.
After a while, she forced herself to get up. Her body felt as beaten up as her mind, tense and burdensome. Her eyes were still burning, chest as heavy as lead, feet dragging as she made her way to the small liquor cabinet in the corner of the living room. She took the half empty bottle of whiskey from it and went into the kitchen to get a cup. Mostly out of habit, she noticed on the wall clock that it was almost five in the morning. Not that it mattered since it was the weekend. Not that anything mattered at that moment… Grabbing the pack of cigarettes on the way, she went out to the small balcony. She sat down and filled half a cup, immediately gulping all of it down and refilling it.
She laid there, staring at the sky, until the sun peacefully rose. There was a building in front of hers that covered most of the view from her place, but she watched the sky above it change colours either way. She could hear a few cars passing on the other side of the building, every now and then. Some chirping birds flew over her, clueless of the horrors of humanity. While she sat there and sipped the bitter liquor, she managed to calm down enough to actually think about what had happened. About what was going to happen, had to happen…
He had found her new place somehow. How? It wasn’t possible that someone had told him and she had blocked him everywhere. He had no way to reach her. But somehow, he had discovered where she was living. Maybe he had followed her from work. He had never been in the building but he knew the name of the publisher she worked for. But if he was in fact following her, she was in more trouble than she had initially thought. Maybe she should have called the police. Certainly, it was too late for that, now that he wasn’t at her door anymore. In an attempt to soothe her nerves, she downed another half cup and lit a cigarette. She wasn’t much of a smoker, really, mostly just when she went out for drinks, but this seemed like the perfect moment for it. She noticed there was only another one left. Great… The more she thought of all the possibilities, the more she drank and the more she puffed.
How was she going to get out of the house safely now? She really should involve the authorities. It seemed like the only way she’d ever feel safe again, Eve reflected. She needed to get a restraining order, or to move to a new apartment... Hopefully, she wouldn’t have to go as far as quitting her job… She loved her job. She practically lived for it. She kept drinking to drown the uneasiness. Laying the empty bottle on the floor next to her, she laid back into the lawn chair and stared at the baby blue morning sky until her mind went blank.
Eve woke up dry and woozy from the semi-accidental nap. The sun was high and hurt her tired eyes. Ignoring the mess around her, she exited the balcony and made it for the bathroom. As she passed through the kitchen, she glanced at the clock with half-hearted curiosity. It was almost one in the afternoon. Dumb luck that she didn’t get sunburnt, Eve thought to herself. She stripped down and hopped in the shower. It managed to wake her up a bit but the drowsiness from the alcohol was still present. She stayed in there for a while, just feeling the warm water somewhat relaxing her tense muscles. Eve couldn’t help thinking about her situation again. With her forehead set against the wall, water falling on her back, a few tears threatened to fall from her heavy eyes.
Sick and tired of being in this condition, of feeling this helpless and broken, she made sure she had cried everything before she stepped out. Once again ignoring the mess on the bathroom floor, Eve dried herself slowly and put on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy band t-shirt. Perfect stay-at-home clothes. She grabbed the other bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and a cup and splatted herself on the sofa, staring at the wall above the TV.
Eve felt empty and full of pain at the same time. It almost angered her, how she was pitying herself… Despite wanting to never move again, she knew she had to take any kind of action to get out of this situation. Eve deliberated that, while she wanted to file a complaint with the police, she didn’t feel safe getting out of the house with Trevor knowing where she was. [She wanted to call Lucy and ask her to keep her company, but Eve didn’t want to worry her friend even more.] Plus, she knew Lucy would be spending the day with her boyfriend. But maybe there was no other way. Eve’s family was from a town more than a day away by car. She had chosen to move that far away because she didn’t want them breathing down her neck. And now, with all the irony the universe could muster, she needed them more than ever. Or just anyone, she thought bitterly.
Eve knew she’d have to call Lucy at some point, but she didn’t want to do it just yet. She could do it the next day, on Sunday. There was enough food in the apartment so she could just sit still for the day, just sulk away from everyone and everything. She could allow herself at least that much, for the moment.
Eve needed a distraction so she sat in front of the computer and mindlessly checked her email. Then, half-heartedly, her social media. Everyone looked so damn cheerful that it made her angry, so she turned the TV on, instead. Eve zapped more than she watched, while downing nearly another half bottle of whiskey. Her mouth reeked but she couldn’t be bothered to go brush her teeth, at that point.
At around dinnertime, she received a text message. It was from Lucy, which immediately made her feel a bit better. It said Elena, a friend and co-worker of theirs who had recently gone on maternity leave, had commented on their photo that she missed them and would see them soon. Eve didn’t know what photo of theirs she meant so she opened Instagram. When she saw it, she almost tipped over her drink.
So that was how Trevor had found her the previous day. He followed Lucy’s account and she had put the name of the restaurant in the description of the picture. Her first instinct was to get mad at her friend for it but Eve knew it wasn’t really her fault. Lucy couldn’t have known, specially since Eve had kept the worst details of the relationship to herself because she knew Lucy would lose it. She couldn’t have known how psychotic he could get, or have guessed he was apparently stalking her. Not even Eve could’ve guessed he’d go this far. It was no use getting mad at anyone but him.
But at that moment, she feared him more than she despised him.