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“You are kinda reckless when you drive that bike.”
Kazutora’s eyes widened at Chifuyu’s blatant accusation. The two were working at their pet shop’s front desk with Takemichi who would help out when business picked up during the holiday season. Takemichi didn’t even try to hold back a snicker, which got under Kazutora’s skin. There was an unspoken rivalry for Chifuyu’s attention between them, although Takemichi was unaware of this.
“Listen, Takemitchy,” he mocked. Kazutora thought his nickname was probably the most irritating thing about him, even if it originated from Mikey himself. He swiftly grabbed the collar of the other’s shirt. “You’re on thin ice with me already, I wouldn't push it.”
“What did I do this time?” Takemichi whined, he often had to deal with the short stick of Kazutora’s temper, albeit short-lived. For someone who considered himself a middle-man, he always found himself facing the forefront of drama. He moved his eyes over to Chifuyu, pleading for an explanation.
Chifuyu, the most socially adept of the three, grabbed Kazutora’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring look. Kazutora would never admit this out loud, but Chifuyu had become his stability after being released from jail. It was Chifuyu that saved him, giving him a place to live comfortably for the first time in his screwed-up life.
“We’re only teasing,” Chifuyu paused, letting a smug grin stretch across his face. “Although you did almost throw me off from that failed stunt last week.”
Kazutora let go of Takemichi and matched the smugness exuding from Chifuyu. “Admit it—you like it cause you could use that excuse to hold on to me.”
“Hah! Fuck you. Like I’d want to get any closer than I need to with you.”
The two were practically nose to nose at this point completely oblivious to Takemichi’s pleas for calming down.
“Tell that to me next time you can’t sleep.”
“Says the sappy drunk.”
“At least, I can hold my liquor. You handle drinking like someone’s aging mother.”
“I’d gladly be an aging mom. It’s my passion to become a MILF.”
Kazutora broke into uncontrollable laughter. Chifuyu shoved Kazutora’s shoulder in a light-hearted manner, disapproving of his taunting guffawing, but still laughing with him. Untying his apron, Kazutora threw it on the table between them. “I’m going for lunch. You should come, you might find another cop with a daddy kink.”
Chifuyu’s laughter immediately halted from the other’s remark—his eyes grew wide from shocked embarrassment. Failing to hide the red creeping along his cheeks, he turned away from the others strutting towards the cats that were stationed on the other side of the store, “I’ll kill you for that Tora! Go to lunch.”
“Can I ask what that last bit was about?” Takemichi raised his hand like a schoolboy.
Kazutora leaned towards him, whispering loud enough for Chifuyu to hear, “Last week, he slept with a stone-faced cop that couldn’t get off unless he called Chifuyu papa.”
Takemichi’s mouth fell open, “Stone-face? You mean Naoto? Holy shit, when did that happen?”
Crouching to the floor from embarrassment, Chifuyu, barely audible, mumbled, “Kazutora overheard us.” He perked up showing more confidence. “I'm not ashamed of it! It was good sex, okay?”
Not fully comprehending, Takemichi uttered some incoherent nonsense before giving up. Still by the table, Kazutora had his arms around his stomach cackling with pure joy. He loved embarrassing Chifuyu. He couldn’t help but find it cute when he got flustered. Kazutora was also prideful that he had mastered the art of embarrassing Chifuyu. It took a while but after living with him for an entire year, he thought he had finally understood what made the other tick and anything sex-related would send Chifuyu into fits of embarrassment, which Kazutora found particularly amusing.
“I’m off for an hour. See you guys.” Kazutora waved in a salute. He sauntered out, taking in one last sight of the embarrassed Chifuyu.
The door chimes rang, signaling Kazutora’s departure, so Chifuyu stood abruptly making his way back to the desk, avoiding Takemichi, who would only prod with questions Chifuyu wasn’t sure how to answer.
“This store is pretty small, you know?” Takemichi followed behind Chifuyu. “You might as well explain this now before customers come in.”
Chifuyu sorely wished it was their busy hour, but he knew there wouldn’t be another customer for a while. He looked back at Takemichi whose puppy dog eyes bore holes into his guilt. Takemichi deserved to know.
Chifuyu sighed. “I didn’t know it was Naoto, okay?”
A loud clatter of bowls hit the floor. “Sorry! I didn’t think you actually slept with him. He’s just the only cop I know.” Takemichi laughed nervously.
“I was drunk,” Chifuyu continued, ignoring the mess Takemichi made. “I was also jealous because Kazutora had been hit on by like ten people that night.”
“Ouch. He does have a nice face, I guess.”
“Exactly. He’s extremely hot and I was extremely not okay. Kazutora had been dragged to the floor by this girl who would probably be his type. She was conventionally attractive, so I did what I do best and got super wasted.”
“I mean you don’t really know his type,” Takemichi, alongside the rest of their friend group, had all concluded that if Kazutora had a type, it would be Chifuyu.
“That doesn’t matter. Just know she was attractive and he seemed into it.”
“Whatever you say. So, how did Naoto come into this?”
“Shh! I’m getting there. I wanted to see if I could make Kazutora jealous, so I grabbed a random man and danced with him near Tora. Turns out that guy was a pervert, so I dropped him and went to the bar to sulk. That’s where I saw Naoto. Well, I didn’t realize it was him since he was in casual clothing. I guessed he realized I was having a shitty night, so he bought me a drink, which I drunkenly mistook as him flirting. Ten minutes later we’re ubering home. I told Kazutora I was leaving, but I didn’t think he would follow. So, yeah. I get home with Naoto. We hook up and we’re loud ‘cause I think it’s just us.”
Takemichi was on the verge of tears. He looked away holding his breath out of respect for his friend. Laughing right now would only shatter Chifuyu’s ego even more. He knew his friend was an idiot, but he never imagined a slip up this messy. A chuckle escaped.
“Asshole! Don’t laugh at my misery!” Chifuyu huffed. “Anyway, I go to grab water from the kitchen and guess who’s sitting on our couch with a shit-eating smile?”
Takemichi’s body shook with laughter. He apologized through fits of giggles. The other stood with a peeved stare, holding back an amused smile. Looking back now, Chifuyu could find humor in the story, but it was still humiliating at the moment.
A bell notified the two that the door had opened. Halfway expecting their coworker to waltz in, Chifuyu was relieved when he saw it was just a customer coming through the front. He couldn’t face him and Takemichi both at the moment. The two pet shop associates redirected their demeanor to a more professional one until the customer left. The moment the door shut, Chifuyu chunked a bag of treats at Takemichi.
“Oops, reflex” Chifuuyu looked off in the distance like nothing happened, inspecting another bag of treats.
“Now you’re the asshole!” Takemichi went to grab the bag in Chifuyu’s hands when the bell chimed again.
“Hi welcome to Peke-” Takemichi’s greeting was halted by half a sandwich colliding into his cheek. His eyes examined the door to see who was the sandwich culprit, only to see Kazutora in a pitching position. “What the hell, Kazutora?”
“You were touching the boss.” He stated flatly.
—
It was Monday which meant Chifuyu and Kazutora finally could drink in celebration of their Tuesday day off. They both walked to the local store near them for the cheapest 24 case of beer and a large bottle of sake. Though they could afford more expensive beverages, the cheap stuff had a special place in their hearts.
“Promise me you’ll control your drinking tonight?” Kazutora passed the beer he’d opened to the other once they had made it home.
“What do you mean by that?” He took a sip, side-eyeing Kazutora. “Everybody’s coming over, I’ll drink as much as I want.”
“Yeah but I’m the one who cleans up afterward.”
They both laughed. Without fail, Chifuyu would always be the one to get sloppy drunk before Kazutora had a chance to even feel a buzz. The last time they had gone out, Chifuyu had promised he’d only have one beer since he was driving. By the end of the night, he had lost two bets with Draken resulting in him chugging four beers and two shots in addition to the one. Draken was the enabler friend of the group and Chifuyu was an easy target. Kazutora still hasn’t let Draken forget—he owed him since that night.
Tonight, the two were hosting a small party with Mitsuya, Hakkai and Takemichi. Draken and Inui couldn’t come because of the bike shop duties, which Kazutora wasn’t too mad about.
As expected, Mitsuya and Hakki came through with the salty snacks they promised. Before he even said hello, Hakkai announced that they had brought the perfect food because his beloved Mitsuya Takashi picked them out. The others knew the snacks were good quality but not worth the amount of boasting Hakkai was giving. Kazutora held back his remarks. He desperately wanted to roast Hakkai, but he’d have to deal with the wrath of Mitsuya, and he didn’t want to be on his bad side.
Twenty minutes in, Takemichi finally appeared with an already tipsy Mikey who plopped himself in front of the table pulling candles out of his coat pockets.
“What are you doing?” Mitsuya moved from his spot on the chair with Hakkai to the floor next to Mikey.
“Grab 10 shot glasses,” Mikey remained focused on lining up the small candles in a line on the coffee table. Mitsuya obliged, asking Chifuyu to help him. The two made their way back with the shot glasses in hand. Kazutora had followed behind with the sake bottle.
“Takemitchy,” Mikey leaned into Takemitchy, who was sitting in the chair behind him. “Will you please explain? I don’t think I can.”
Running his fingers through Mikey’s mid-length black hair, he explained, “so Mikey saw this game earlier where you line up shot glasses to the exact number of candles. To play the game you sit where Mikey currently is and try to blow out as many candles as you can. One candle equals one shot.”
“You only get one blow per turn,” Mikey added.
The others gathered around the table, excited about the drinking game. They decided that they would take turns in the order from youngest to oldest, so Chifuyu reluctantly went first.
“Maybe I’ll get all ten,” his brazen eyes met Kazutora’s annoyed ones. Chifuyu gave an audacious look, then blew so faintly that the first candle barely was extinguished. The entire crowd, with the exception of Kazutora, groaned claiming that breath didn’t count. Kazutora remained still, staring with a stunned expression at Chifuyu as he took his single shot. Apparently, Chifuyu would heed his advice for once. He watched as Chifuyu refilled the single glass, returning it next to its candle.
The party still protested indignantly until Mikey spoke clarifying the rule that there’s only one blow per turn.
“Yeah, but they at least have to try!” Hakkai exclaimed. “Back me up Taka-chan.”
Mitsuya shrugged, “Mikey’s rule.”
Hakkai groaned cursing Chifuyu. The group then all took their turns until they reached Kazutora, who was hoping they would pass him so he could just observe. He was also nervous that he’d be the one to blow out all ten. So far Takemichi had racked up the most with five shots, Mikey and Hakki had both taken four. Nevertheless, the chances of him having to take ten shots was slim, but Kazutora didn’t want to take that risk.
Chifuyu poked the side of Kazutora’s leg to grab his attention. “Don’t be afraid to join us,” he whispered softly so the others in the room wouldn’t hear. With two beers and a shot down, Chifuyu felt his boundaries dissolve slightly as he rested his chin on Kazutora’s shoulder. Under the slight influence of the alcohol, Chifuyu didn’t notice Kazutora stiffening under their physical closeness. “Nobody has gotten above five.”
Kazutora moved his face slightly towards Chifuyu, trying to avoid thinking how intimate their proximity was currently or that he had practically understood what Kazutora feared. As he was trying to glare at Chifuyu, he noticed a strand of black hair falling into his eye, blocking Kazutora from getting a good look at Chifuyu’s expression. Before he could contemplate moving the hair, he saw his hands push the strand behind the other’s ear. Chifuyu raised his eyebrows at the touch, surprised by Kazutora’s gesture. Everything felt so private between them like the world had stopped spinning for just a moment.
“Today, please,” Mikey rolled around the lighter in his hands resting his face in his other hand.
Kazutora hopped up a little too quickly and made his way to the floor in front of the candles. The ten tiny flames flickered, burning his eyes slightly from their brightness. He let out a shaky breath, hoping that only two would blow out, but the air came out more forceful than he originally intended. He watched in fear as ten flames disappeared. Everyone yelled in excitement before the second to last flame flickered back to life followed shortly by the last one.
Kazutora sighed. Eight in total. He calmly downed the first shot immediately. Let’s get this over with. After the fifth one, the taste was beginning to burn the back of his throat. He hesitantly held the next one in his hand, looking at the clear liquid that taunted him in its stillness.
“Shot!” His friends began chanting as he struggled to down the last three. Chifuyu offered his beer to use to a chaser, which Kazutora gratefully accepted. This is horrible. Struggling to stand from nerves mainly, he stumbled over his feet trying to get back to his comfortable spot next to Chifuyu.
“Damn. Drunk already?” Takemichi taunted. This was a rare opportunity for Takemichi to tease the other without having to face his temper.
“No!” Kazutora immediately denied him. Of course, he definitely could feel a buzz, he just took eight straight shots. “Back off.”
He slumped down on the couch pulling his feet up, absentmindedly letting his knee rest on Chifuyu’s lap. He watched as Mitsuya, the last person to go, blew out three candles. He protested inwardly, three was nothing to his eight. He took a sip of Chifuyu’s beer that he hadn’t given back. He realized this mid-sip, spat the beer back into the can then offered it back to Chifuyu.
Frowning at the drink, Chifuyu pushed it back towards Kazutora, then hopped up to grab another beer for himself. He was stopped by a tight grip on his shirt, twirling around he was met with a pair of pleading golden eyes. Chifuyu pinched Kazutora’s nose hoping that would make Kazutora reflectively let go. Kazutora held Chifuyu’s hand, bringing it to his cheek and went back to pleading.
“You’re drunk.” Chifuyu smiled.
“Maybe.” He moved Chifuyu’s hand, so it was under his chin.
“I’m grabbing another beer now.”
“Make Takemichi get it for you. Stay here,” Kazutora pouted, tugging on Chifuyu’s hand.
“Get a room, you two,” Hakkai joked while sitting in between Mitsuya’s legs. Those two were notorious for PDA. Over the years they’d been together, there were plenty of papers that thrived on leaked paparazzi photos of the two out in public wherever they traveled. Yuzuha, Hakkai’s sister and manager, hated that their relationship photos overshadowed the actual modeled shots of Hakkai. She had a business to run.
Kazutora tugged again on Chifuyu’s hand, causing him to sputter, not able to form a coherent sentence.
“Anybody up for sake bombs?” Takemichi offered, trying to change the subject to help Chifuyu, who was quietly suffering from embarrassment.
Quickly Chifuyu answered, “Let me get some extra glasses.” Then he freed himself of Kazutora’s grasp that had loosened and made his way to the kitchen.
Missing Chifuyu, Kazutora finished his third beer of the night, crushing the can as the finishing statement. Chifuyu appeared in front of him with plastic beer cups and the extra bottle of sake Takemichi brought. He had set up sake bombs for everyone on the table, passing the last one to Kazutora, who tried to argue, “I don’t think I should.”
“You don’t have to.” Kazutora eyes him skeptically. “What? I can drink this one.” He motioned to the extra drink. Chifuuyu sat on the floor with everyone else who had moved around the table. Feeling an urge of possessiveness, Kazutora reached for the drink and joined the others on the floor. Chifuyu gave him a concerned glance.
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t push yourself, okay?” Chifuyu pinched Kazutora’s elbow.
“That’s not MILF behavior.”
Chifuyu looked questioningly at Kazutora.
“You said you wanted to be a MILF the other day,” Takemichi pitched in. Everyone laughed at this.
“Yeah, a MILF would be pro-getting-drunk-off-your-ass,” Mikey laughed leaning on Takemichi. He looked like he was about to fall asleep.
“Come on guys. Let’s go on three,” Mitsuya called everybody’s attention. “3, 2, 1…”
The group banged their fists on the table. This clamor shook the table, making each shot drop with a messy splash into the beer cups. Everyone downed their shot simultaneously.
By the end of the night, half the party had fallen asleep in the living room. Hakkai was the first to go and had been snoozing on Mitsuya’s lap mumbling here and there. Mitsuya reassured everybody that that was usual. Takemichi and Mikey had curled up with each other on a chair, sleeping peacefully even though Mikey had stolen most of the blanket Chifuyu had offered.
Chifuyu had moved to the couch after the sake bombs, while Kazutora remained on the floor. Feeling slightly less anxious from the alcohol running through him, he let himself rest his head on Chifuyu’s knees. They weren’t the softest pillow, but they did smell like him which he found comforting. Kazutora had also been fighting sleep for the last hour, he wasn’t gonna give in to sleep just yet even if his eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. It also didn’t help that Chifyuyu would run his fingers through his hair, moving the strands behind his ear after they’d fallen. He closed his eyes, letting himself take in this soft moment.
“When are you going to tell him?” Mitsuya whispered softly after a few minutes.
Chifuyu hummed, not stopping from petting Kazutora’s hair.
“I don’t want him to get the wrong message.”
Kazutora’s heart sank. What could he mean by that? Surely he wasn’t trying to kick him out already. Kazutora had recently been feeling like he had outstayed his welcome, but he was banking that Chifuyu’s kindness and willingness would continue so he would never have to confront this issue, the one of leaving. Kazutora could feel panic setting in, but he remained completely still. The two thought he was asleep or they wouldn’t be talking about this in his presence. He was beginning to feel like maybe Chifuyu didn’t want him there. A soft touch to his cheek halted his racing thoughts, he slowly realized Chifuyu was gently pressing the mole below his eye.
“I don't think he would, Chifuyu. Look at him.”
“Yeah,” Chifuyu commented, obviously not convinced. “He carries a lot of guilt, though. If I were to tell him, he would just accept it without looking inwardly at himself. I want him to be able to face his own truth.”
What?
“Even if he accepts it unequivocally, Kazutora wouldn’t see it as another burden to bear. He’s grown a lot and cares a whole fuckin’ lot about you.”
“I just don’t want him to feel pressured.” Chifuyu traced Kazutora’s jawline. “It’s just a hard thing to say. I don’t want to mess up what’s already between us.”
“You’ll never get anywhere if you stay soft.”
“Maybe I’ve embraced my gentler side a little too willingly,” Chifuyu sadly chuckled. “I used to be the hardest delinquent.”
“Yeah, Baji really let you go wild sometimes,” Mitsuya laughed in a reflective manner. “But you were also soft then as well. So was Baji, just less overtly.”
A pleasant silence fell between the two. Kazutora couldn’t move. It was rare to hear these two talk about Baji. Truthfully, it seemed a lot of them avoided the subject around him or that’s how he felt. Guilt can make a person inaccurately interpret the people around them, making them gullible and easily drawing wrong conclusions.
“How did you and Hakkai end up together then?” Chifuyu began tracing his fingers through Kazutora’s hair again, calming him down slightly. Truthfully, Kazutora was also interested in the answer to this question. For some reason, the origin of their coupling had been kept a mystery from the rest of the group.
Mitsyua hummed, “You know, I was clueless for a long time.”
Chifuyu scoffed, “you’re probably the most socially aware person I know. I mean there’s a reason I come to you for guidance and not Mikey and Takemitchy.”
“I honestly don’t know how they function as a pair.” The two laughed, then Mitsuya continued, “Hakkai always was around me but I figured it was a comfort thing. My family was a little less insane than his own. Once we grew up and he stayed, I thought it was just a habit for him. Yuzu was the first to bring his feelings to my attention. I was mad that he hadn’t told me about his new gig overseas. I was so pissed, Chifuyu. He was going away for months and I had just gotten accustomed to his presence always being around. I think it scared me when I realized he wouldn’t be there. Yuzu was livid when I confided this to her. She said I was the selfish one for not understanding Hakkai’s intentions.” Mitsuya traced the pattern shaved on Hakkai’s head, the one he designed for him. Hakkai mumbled something sleepily, shifting into Mitsuya’s touch. “She said ‘he wouldn’t have taken this job if you had any common sense about love. You’re enough reason for him to stay.’ After mulling this over for a few days, I came to the conclusion that I really did love him. By then he was already off in Italy, so I booked a flight to see him and ended up staying the entire three months with him at that job.”
“I remember that. Wow. I didn’t realize that’s how you two got together. I just assumed you were together before you even went on that trip.”
“Me too,” Kazutora added. Shit.
“Hey sleeping beauty,” Mitsuya mocked.
“Shut up,” Kazutora mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. He was desperately trying to convince them that he was just woken up. “You’re loud.”
Chifuyu tapped Kazutora’s head, shoving him gently off his lap, “Why don’t you go lie down?”
Kazutora glared at him with contempt, but his efforts were futile. Chifuyu simply smiled at him, dragging him upwards. The sudden movement made the floor beneath him unsteady, gravity began calling him back to the ground. Before he could catch himself he had fallen downwards onto the couch with the help of Chifuyu who had managed to direct his body.
“I think I’ll stay here actually,” he rested his head on the cushion letting the weight of the world comfort him.
“No you don’t,” he felt Chifuyu’s hand grab around his waist. Another pair pushed his shoulders up.
“It’s not very nice to take advantage of a drunk person.”
“That’s not funny,” Chifuyu flicked Kazutora’s neck. “I got it Mitsuya.”
Chifuyu assisted the drunken beauty to his room, placing him softly on the mattress. Feeling the desire to be closer to Chifuyu Kazutora grabbed around his waist pulling him down on top of him. Chifuyu squirmed, raising the top half of his body with his arms, Kazutora squeezed tighter, rubbing his cheek on Chifuyu’s chest.
“Don’t go,” he felt tears starting to swell in his eyes. When he blinked two of the largest tears he thought he had ever produced soaked Chifuyu’s shirt. “Please don’t kick me out. I like being here with you.”
Kazutora loosened his grip, moving his hands to his face. He lay prone on the bed weeping uncontrollably. Chifuyu jumped off Kazutora to sit beside him, wiping at the tears that kept falling from his eyes.
“Hey, hey. What do you mean?”
Struggling through sobs, Kazutora explained that he heard Mitsuya and him discuss that he needed to admit that Chifuyu didn’t want him here anymore and was struggling to tell him that.
“That’s what you got out of that conversation?” Chifuyu laughed at the weeping Kazutora. “Well, that’s definitely not it.”
“Then why not tell me?” Kazutora sat up.
“Well that’s,” Chifuyu paused, struggling to find the right words. He couldn’t confess his feelings to a weeping drunk, especially if there was a possibility that he wouldn’t remember the next day. Then it hit him. “Why don’t I tell you in the morning?”
Kazutora, starting to feel the effects of sleep after avoiding them for so long, didn’t have it in him to argue, so he nodded pitifully. Chifuyu got up to leave once he figured Kazutora was fine but was stopped by a pair of hands for the second time tonight, “Will you stay?”
Without hesitation Chifuyu crawled into bed with Kazutora, leaving a comfortable space between them. Sleepily, Kazutora reached out his hand, wrapping his fingers around Chifuyu’s arms. The two fell asleep, forgetting Mitsuya and the others were still there.
The next morning Kazutora awoke with his head pressed against a hard surface. When he opened his eyes, he realized he was staring at Chifuyu’s back. Alarmed from this unexpected turnout, he tried to remember what happened last night for Chifuyu to be in his room. Surely, it wasn’t a night where Chifuyu would find his way to his bed out of the need for companionship, he would never do that with company over. Shit. Mikey and them were still out there.
A loud knock clamored through his room. Someone was at the door. Next to him, Chifuyu began to stir. Panicked, Kazutora ripped the blankets off himself and rushed to open the door, but only slightly. He was relieved to see Mitsuya at the door.
“Don’t look so grievingly at me.” Kazutora smoothed out his features, forcing a small smile. “I was concerned because you two never came back out last night.” Kazutora’s face reverted back to a stressed frown. Mitsuya, trying to soften Kazutora’s anxieties, added, “Everyone’s still asleep.”
A soft pressure pushed on the small of Kazutora’s back causing him to leap. He turned to hiss at a barely awake Chifuyu. “You scared me.”
Unaware of Mitsuya in the doorway, Chifuyu opened the door the rest of the way, startled to see a body in his way.
“What are you guys being so creepy for? Let’s make morning tea,” Chifuyu brushed past the two in the doorway shuffling towards the kitchen in cheetah print slippers. Kazutora looked back at Mitsuya, then recalled that last night he was one of the last ones awake. He could barely recall the conversation they all had. Mostly, he could really remember Chifuyu’s soft touches.
“Did Chifuyu offer his room to you?”
Mitsuya seemed to think about this then simply stated, “no.” He smirked expressing he knew something Kazutora didn’t, then headed towards the direction Chifuyu had gone down. Annoyed from this uncertainty he followed Mitsuya, ready to gripe when he saw Chifuyu with two mugs in his hands walking towards him. Kazutora accepted the hot beverage without hesitation. It was just like Chifuyu to think of Kazutora first thing in the morning.
He couldn’t help but notice that Chifuyu had made him tea in his favorite mug. He even sweetened it with honey. Was he always so giving? He didn’t know quite why yet, but he felt his heart pull like an invisible chain had tied its way around him, tugging him towards something, or someone.
—
Snow fell around the duo as they made their way down an icy sidewalk. The snow piled up to the side of them reflecting cold wind onto Chifuyu, who had miscalculated how many layers he needed to wear. He brought his scarf, though, so it wasn’t unbearable. Although very much on purpose, he would use the cold as an excuse to walk closer to Kazutora, taking in the heat his body always produced. He truly believed that Kazutora produced extra warmth just for Chifuyu who always was a little cold.
They passed a sign on a pole for an upcoming Christmas festival.
“The festival is tomorrow. Wanna go?” Chifuyu pulled his scarf up, shielding himself from the winter wind.
Kazutora looked over at Chifuyu, who had fallen slightly behind him from having to adjust his clothing. “You can barely keep up with me ‘cause it’s that cold and you’re asking me if we should go to an outside event. You’ll freeze to death.” He mocked, tugging at Chifuyu’s scarf causing it to unravel.
“Hey!” Chifuyu grabbed at the scarf but lost his grip. He watched sadly as it fell to the ground. Kazutora laughed, snatching up the cloth before Chifuyu had a chance to even move. He waved it up, then moved it behind his back out of reach from Chifuyu, who was struggling to move quickly. The two danced around each other with Kazutora winning because of his slight height advantage. Kazutora paced around Chifuyu while wrapping the scarf around his own neck, toying with the other’s weakness to the cold.
About to give in, Chifuyu stopped, followed shortly by the other. Thinking he had managed to stay a step ahead, Chifuyu moved towards the scarf that had been wrapped around Kazutora’s neck. Unbeknownst to him, the thief already predicted this move and jumped away from the other’s attack causing Chifuyu to lose his balance slightly. Kazutora placed both of his hands on his back, pushing Chifuyu into the block of snow they had been walking beside.
An annoyed muffled scream could be heard from the snow. Fueled by anger now, Chifuyu jumped back, still yelling, and pushed Kazutora into the same spot.
Obviously shocked from the taste of his own medicine, Kazutora stood in the snow for a prolonged moment. He turned so his back was now resting on the wall of ice.
He started to laugh, bringing his hand to cover his mouth. “That caught me off guard not gonna lie.”
Chifuyu laughed with him, “Give me my scarf back, asshole.” He reached for the cloth but was stopped by Kazutora’s hand grabbing his wrist. It was a rare moment, Kazutora wasn’t one for physical touch. More often than not, he shied away from it, so it came as a small surprise to see him initiate such a bold form of touching. While Chifuyu’s mind wandered, Kazutora pulled him closer so that their faces were merely inches apart. Chifuyu remained dazed, he had thought he had mastered the unpredictability of the other’s nature, but he still found himself surprised at Kazutora’s actions sometimes.
“Ask nicely.”
“What?” Chifuyu automatically pulled away, giving a confused and intrigued look towards Kazutora. For a second, he thought he was flirting, but he determined that was presumptuous, Kazutora was just teasing. He wasn’t one to flirt.
“Your face is so red,” Kazutora cackled. “He slowly removed the scarf. “Take it. You’re obviously affected by the cold more than me.”
Chifuyu watched Kazutora’s eyes crinkle from his laugh. He enjoyed the way his smile would always get bigger when he was being a little shit, which was nice to see, honestly. The first few months after he had been released from jail, the man next to him was as timid as a lost cat and smiles were often forced and small. The change in Kazutora’s demeanor warmed Chifuyu’s chest, he was glad to be a part of his growth. He felt Baji would also be proud of this. He glanced once more at Kazutora who had pulled the zipper of his jacket all the way up so the collar covered his chin.
Unraveling the scarf around his neck, Chifuyu wrapped it around Kazutora again, offering a small genuine smile. Kazutora’s eyes looked longing at the other as if asking “are you sure?” He sighed into the scarf once Chifuyu was finished wrapping it around his cheeks. He knew Chifuyu wouldn’t take the scarf back, so he tugged at the cloth around his chin a little tighter, sneaking secret glances at Chifuyu as they walked.
What was a usual short 5-minute walk, became a 12-minute distraction. The air between the two carried a slightly different feel to it like a bubble suspended in air—it’s bound to burst, but that time was unknown. What’s the next move that will shift this air between them again?
When they made it through the store’s doors, Chifuyu sighed from the warmth smoothing over his face.
“Damn, I didn’t know you were into—”
“Stop it right there,” Chifuyu pinched Kazutora’s cheeks, pulling them so his mouth would stretch. “I don’t want to hear your insights, idiot.”
Later that night, Kazutora found himself in and out of sleep waiting for Chifuyu. Resting his head on the back of the couch he sighed out of boredom. He didn’t know how long he had spent tracing the outline of the buildings through the french door windows, but time began to lull.
Shortly, he felt soft fingers trace the lines of his tattoo, swirling into the shapes of the tiger. When the fingers made their way past his collarbone, he shuddered from the tenderness of the action. Kazutora would always crave affection but rarely accepted it. The sentiment was foreign and strange to him, but it also felt like a familiar friend. He wanted it but was also scared. All he could manage was to sit still and let the fingers trace continuously in their affection.
The hands combed from the bottom of his hairline mimicking the motions of tying hair back. A gentle kiss on the vertebrae of his neck sent a chill down his spine, like the first stretch of the morning. He felt an unadulterated desire for the first time. He turned sharply with low lidded eyes and expecting lips. Whoever this was touching him, whoever was making him feel this way, needed a face to confront the realness of Kazutora’s emotions.
He met a pair of blue-green eyes staring at him with the same look of desire Kazutora wore. His breath hitched. What was happening? Though his mind questioned the scene before him, his body moved forward wrapping Chifuyu tightly between his arms. This person was the entity that had devoured his hunger for fondness. Now that this sentiment was something tangible, Kazutora felt he could conquer this fear of intimacy. He could overcome and restrain the very chains that held him back for so long.
An abrupt knock snapped Kazutora back into reality, waking him from what he only could describe as a fortuitous dream. He had fallen asleep on the couch after Chifuyu left for the pet shop, who needed to return something Kazutora couldn’t recall at the moment. Kazutora considered ignoring the knocking but realized that the sound meant Chifuyu had made his way back home and he’d have to face the man he had just fantasized about.
He struggled to put on the cheetah print slippers Chifuyu had gotten him the other day randomly. Once he managed to slip his feet in properly, he shuffled towards the door. Had Chifuyu left his key again?
When he opened the door, he saw an awkward Takemichi with his fist in the knocking position. Kazutora, relieved that it wasn’t Chifuyu, let out an unwinding sigh. He didn’t know if he could face Chifuyu when the kiss on his neck still felt so vivid.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you react so calmly.” Takemichi gave a panicked thumbs up. Kazutora glared annoyedly. “Uhm, Chifuyu needs you at the shop. We were told to take you.”
A honk from a familiar bike reverberated through the apartment’s corridor followed by Mikey screaming: “Takemitchy, it’s cold!” then another honk.
“He’s impatient right now cause I promised him snacks so he hasn’t eaten.” He looked down at Kazutora’s slippers. “You should probably change.”
Kazutora smacked his lips. “Fine.”
He slammed the door on Takemichi before going back to Chifuyu’s room to grab his brown knitted sweater. He hesitated before putting Chifuyu’s sweater on. It had become second nature to wear each other’s clothes, so he never gave a second thought about the implications. Now it’s a different story. Another knock reminded him Mikey was on some type of time limit. Might as well wear it. He swiftly grabbed a pair of his boots and his puffer jacket at the door and hurried out the door towards Mikey’s bike.
Takemichi was already sitting behind Mikey leaning his head on Mikey’s back, who seemed to have calmed down.
“Last time I checked I wasn’t under surveillance watch.”
“Well now you are. Takemitchy rode your bike back here so let’s go.”
Kazutora turned to see his and Chifuyu's bike across the parking lot, quite a ways from where they all stood.
“Why did you have to park it so far?” Kazutora whined. Takemichi ignored everyone, he was content snuggled up behind his boyfriend.
Mikey smirked, resting his head back on top of Takemichi. It was his way of warning Kazutora to be nicer to him. Kazutora huffed, then made his way towards his bike and the three of them made their way to the pet shop.
All the lights were off at the shop, even the window in the back where the office was. Kazutora walked back to the front where Mikey and Takemichi had hurdled together. They were unusually calm about the sudden disappearance of their friend.
“Okay, so where is Chifuyu?” Kazutora was beginning to worry.
Takemichi smiled approvingly at Mikey, who disinterestedly reached in his pocket for a small box. He handed it over to Kazutora avoiding eye contact, not in an awkward way, but more dispassionate than anything else.
“Open it!” Takemichi couldn’t contain himself. He reminded Kazutora of a puppy that failed to wait patiently on a treat. “It’s from Chifuyu.”
Kazutora unraveled the box revealing brass knuckles with wings that expanded to the sides. He remembered admiring them at a pawn shop a while ago but didn’t realize Chifuyu had paid any attention. The small detail of Chifuyu noticing these seemingly trivial things made Kazutora feel anxious. Or that’s how he interpreted the swelling in his chest. What else could this feeling be?
A note taped on the brass knuckles simply read Draken’s shop. He may be great at gift-giving, but Chifuyu wasn’t the brightest when it came to riddles.
“Where does it say to now?” Takemichi asked with suspenseful excitement.
Kazutora gave him the note. Mikey, who acted like this was all beneath him, hopped on the bike waiting for Takemichi. “Follow us okay?”
The three of them made their way to Draken’s shop, welcomed by an exasperated Inui. Kazutora wondered what the hell had gotten into him to make him already so expressive. Inui was usually the stoic one. Once they all made it inside, Mikey and Inui both stood by the corner with the drinks while Takemichi and Kazutora sat next to each other on the couch.
“Inui, are you forgetting something?” Takemichi smiled, turning to face Inui behind them.
Clearly not impressed by this ordeal, Inui gave a small circular box to Kazutora. “This is a little much.”
Before Kazutora could begin to question any of this, the sound of Draken’s voice and a bike horn in the garage came through the vents of the lobby. They heard a muffled “shit” and an almost inaudible “hush.”
Kazutora looked around at everyone who acted like nothing was happening. He sighed then started for the garage door.
Takemichi stormed to block the door. “Wait, I think you need to open the box first.”
“Move. I know Chifuyu’s voice when I hear it.” Kazutora heard a cough behind him. Mikey. “Please.”
Slowly scooting away, Takemichi gave in and opened the door for Kazutora.
They all entered the garage to see Draken lifting a motorcycle seat above Chifuyu’s head. Chifuyu, who had his arms folded in defiance, argued with Draken: “It’s not the right fit, plus it’s too bulky for the Suzuki.”
“It’s a damn seat. Your tiny ass can fit just fine.” He smiled at Chifuyu who was obviously failing at trying to give the expert his amateur advice.
Mikey coughed.
The two in the garage quickly turned their heads to see their friends waiting in the doorway. Chifuyu’s jaw dropped when his eyes fell on the unopened gift.
“Takemichi, what happened to the plan?” He reached his hands to head in denial of the events that had unfolded before him. Draken used Chifuyu’s wallowing to his advantage and placed the second seat they had been arguing about on the motorcycle.
“Hey guys.” Draken threw his arms around Chifuyu dragging him over to their friends. “Chifuyu had this wonderful plan and by the looks of it you all failed.” He laughed, shaking Chifuyu a little. “Why don’t you open that box, Tora?”
Kazutora really hoped this box would contain a box of chocolates or something lame instead of what he thought it was. He wouldn’t be able to look at Chifuyu if his inclination was right. When he opened the box a crochet tiger head stared back at him. Confused, he looked up at Chifuyu who was nervously watching Kazutora. He picked the tiger up and heard a high-pitched jingle: it was a keychain.
“No. Please.’
Chifuyu motioned towards the bike then lightly punched Kazutora's arm, “It’s for you.”
Facing the reality of such an amazing gift, Kazutora froze in place, not able to take his eyes off Chifuyu’s face. He couldn’t believe he had received such a nice gift, before Christmas too. He didn’t feel he truly deserved this. Before he registered any movement he felt a hand swipe across his cheek. Chifuyu had reached up to wipe away a tear that had fallen against Kazutora’s will.
“You deserve it.”
Draken dragged Kazutora by the wrist, describing the bike in detail from the efficiency of the motor to the pros and cons of the body. “It’s the latest Suzuki SV650, plus it’s customized. We made sure the rims were golden. Someone mentioned it’s your favorite color.”
Draken smiled back at Kazutora. When he looked around, everyone was smiling and congratulating him.
“It’s from all of us,” Mikey added. “But it was all Chifuyu’s idea.”
“It’s making up for the last ten years when we didn’t see you. It was actually supposed to be a birthday present.” Takemitchy scratched the back of his neck.
“It took forever for the parts to come in, so here we are in mid-December,” Draken leaned on the rail in front of Mikey, Takemichi and Inui.
Takemichi wrapped his arm around Mikey pulling him closer. “Mikey won’t say it but he’s glad you’re out. Happy one year of freedom!”
Mikey turned away pretending to be interested in something across the garage. Kazutora, who had become an expert at observing people, recognized the embarrassment in Mikey’s face from Takemichi’s blatant remark. He heard Chifuyu shuffling behind him where the bike rested, he spun around to see him leaning on the bike.
“Ready for a spin?” Chifuyu patted the body. “It’s not the fastest but it’s the sportiest.”
Warmth spread throughout his chest reaching out to every inch of his body. He was grateful for everything Chifuyu had given him.
“As long as you join.” Kazutora could hear Mikey mockingly gag and Takemichi hushing him behind small laughter. He didn’t care, all he wanted at that moment was to be with Chifuyu, just the two of them in the world and the Suzuki. Maybe he’d even drive recklessly to make Chifuyu hold on tighter. He’d be embarrassed if Chifuyu ever found out he purposefully drove wildly just so they could be physically closer. Crashing back into his memories came the dreamy sensation from that kiss and Chifuyu’s sultry eyes, Kazutora shuddered. He wasn’t sure why he was thinking of that fantasy during this moment.
Then it hit him.
Oh.
He liked Chifuyu. He felt like an idiot for not realizing it earlier, especially after that vivid dream earlier. If he wasn’t surrounded by friends who were expecting his reaction, he’d probably isolate himself to mull it over. Maybe the old Kazutora would have left immediately, but somehow he found that his anxiety wasn’t overwhelming at the moment. All he needed was to look at Chifuyu’s eyes and understand where he needed to go and what he needed to be. He felt empowered enough to flirt with the idea of Chifuyu and him as something a little more than friends. And it would all begin with this motorcycle.
He swiftly turned to toss the box at Takemichi who fumbled trying to catch it but managed to keep it off the ground. Kazutora smiled widely at people around him, “We won’t be back. I’m treating this one to a night out. Thank you, guys.” He hopped on his Suzuki wielding an astonished Chifuyu on the seat behind him.
“Don’t sound so scary!” Takemichi yelled as Kazutora revved the engine, drowning his voice.
“What do you mean? I’m the safest driver and best date around.” His confidence was skyrocketing.
Chifuyu gave a thumbs up to his friends then was lurched back by the sudden movement forward. He quickly held onto Kazutora, still looking back with a smile plastered brightly on his face. Various hollers and goodbyes from those left in the garage faded from the increasing distance as the two drove off.
Kazutora sped through the night enjoying the sharp winter wind on his face and the pair of hands gripped tightly to his jacket. He knew if he slowed down Chifuyu would opt to hold onto the seat instead, so he kept a steady but fast pace on the roads.
They took a winding road down to their favorite tunnel. Leaning into the turns, Kazutora felt in sync with everything around him. From his friends to the newfound path his life had given him. He thought fondly that he owed all of this to Chifuyu. But he didn’t feel like these feelings he had realized were obligatory. He felt that in any timeline he could live, he would always feel this way for Chifuyu. It was a beautiful bonus, that he got to love someone so gracious and kind. Someone who appreciated peace and serenity, but also wouldn’t hesitate to fight for the ones he loved.
He turned back to face Chifuyu briefly, “tunnels coming up.”
Chifuyu nodded tightening his grip on Kazutora's waist, preparing for their perfected little stunt. He brought his chin to Kazutora's shoulder, bringing the rest of his body closer to Kazutora. “Ready.”
The moment the bike passed through the tunnel’s entrance, the men yelled with excitement. The orange glow from the chamber filled their spirits with child-like wonder. Moving for the little stunt, Kazutora popped the front wheel up onto the large sidewalk riding the entire length of the tunnel. If he could, he would want to capture this moment and relive it for an eternity: he wanted to forever feel Chifuyu's hands around his waist and the adrenaline of newfound emotions pumping through his body, this moment was unmatched.
When they reached the exit, Kazutora once again popped the front wheel up making his way onto the main road. He slowed the bike’s speed, moving back and forth in an ‘s’ formation.
“I’m always scared a cop is gonna show up every time we pull that off,” Chifuyu yelled. He had moved his hands to the seat leaning back into the smoother ride.
Kazutora missed his touch but didn’t want to ruin the moment by begging, then an idea popped into his head, he didn't have to have to savor the little moments with Chifuyu when he had the chance now to make them continuous. He accelerated slowly, not enough to make Chifuyu change position though. He wasn't trying to get his hands back on him just yet.
They rode at a steady pace until they made it to the Rainbow Bridge that crosses Tokyo Bay. He’d known Chifuyu would enjoy the lights, he was always one to appreciate little things like that. Kazutora tried to sneak a look at the other, but Chifuyu pushed his head to the front, scolding him to pay attention to the road.
Once they made their way across the bridge, Kazutora parked the bike on a ledge that overlooked the river and central Tokyo.
“It’s nice at night isn’t it?”
Chifuyu watched Kazutora hop off the bike and head over to the rails admiring the scenery. Chifuyu shortly followed.
“I didn’t know you liked night scenery.”
Kazutora looked over at Chifuyu who mirrored his stance of leaning on the railing. He cocked his head to the side, trying to find the right answer. So many thoughts were racing through his head, how could he convey everything he was feeling? He was still learning on how to be more open.
“I never really paid attention to this stuff before. I would see things, but I never truly looked at them, I guess.”
“What changed?”
Kazutora watched the city lights, trying to count the myriad of lives behind each glow. He turned his face towards Chifuyu, letting his head rest in his hands.
“You, I guess,” although he wanted to watch Chifuyu’s reaction. His eyes trailed to the side looking at the water rippling below.
“Me?”
“I don’t know. You helped me appreciate smaller things. Understand that not everything is so big or black and white.”
Chifuyu laughed bashfully. “I don’t know how I did that, but I’m glad you think so.”
Kazutora moved to face Chifuyu, he couldn’t believe he had doubted his ability to be the change in the world. Or at least Kazutora’s. He believed that Chifuyu’s soul was unmatched when it came to kindness. He was a giver, a person who had a boundless supply of support even to those who were undeserving. He saw from all perspectives and Kazutora respected that. Chifuyu had become the one person in this world who could see Kazutora beyond his mistakes, beyond his past. Kazutora to Chifuyu was boundless, free to be himself.
“You’re everything, Chifuyu.”
Chifuyu, who had been focused on the lights before them, looked towards Kazutora but kept his eyes low. He rested his cheek on his own shoulder. Their breaths took up the space around them, making their little exhales the loudest sound between them. Chifuyu’s eyes moved up towards Kazutora, who hadn’t stopped looking at the other.
“Do you mean that?”
“It’s the truest thing that’s ever escaped my mouth my entire life.”
Kazutora watched as Chifuyu’s eyes moved towards his lips then back to his eyes. Mere seconds felt like hours of them returning glances. By the third exchange, Chifuyu had finally decided to move forward, crashing their lips together for a second before pulling apart, but just enough to see Kazutora’s reaction.
Taken aback from the loss of connection, Kazutora furrowed his brows not taking his eyes off Chifuyu’s lips till they were touching again. The second kiss had more passion behind it as if this time they were reenacting a love confession from a Shakespeare tragedy. All the pain from loss, the power of memory and the passion of fate drove their kiss into a deeper state of affair. The kiss was magnetic.
At last, the two pulled away from each other, resting their foreheads together. By then their arms had intertwined around each other's bodies drawing them closer than they had even been before. Kazutora noticed the shine on Chifuyu’s lips and the rosy cheeks that he couldn’t tell were from the cold or from the past few moments. He rubbed his thumb across Chifuyu’s cheek. Mine.
“Can we stay like this every night?”
“On Tokyo Bay?” Chifuyu leaned back, he wasn’t sure what the other had meant.
“No, I mean,” suddenly embarrassed Kazutora fumbled. “You know, together.”
Finally understanding what Kazutora was asking, he reached to intertwine their hands, “I think I’d like that.”
Kazutora, relieved, rested his forehead on Chifuyu's shoulder. He mainly was trying to hide his stupid giddy smile. He didn't want Chifuyu to see him act so corny. As if reading his mind, two hands reached up to grab his cheeks pushing his face directly in front of Chifuyu who wore a shit-eating grin.
“There’s no way you’re not letting me see your smile.”
Embarrassed Kazutora went on defense, swatting playfully at Chifuyu. The two tussled with Chifuyu winning. Later Kazutora would claim it was because he wasn’t putting 100 percent of his effort into fighting back, but part of him enjoyed being seen by Chifuyu. He’d pretend he didn’t enjoy it, but he wanted Chifuyu’s eyes to always be on him and to see things no one else had seen before.
“Stop,” he whined. “You’re being so gross.”
“But you’re so cute like this. Let me see,” Chifuyu grabbed Kazutora as he turned to flee. His body folded over from Chifuyu’s strength. He tried to wriggle free but gave up turning to face Chifuyu, still being held tightly in his arms. He gave one small push into Chifuyu’s chest before the magnetic force pulled their lips together again.
“Ready to go home?” Chifuyu pulled back looking at every detail of Kazutora’s face.
He pulled his key out from his pocket, tugging at Chifuyu’s waist bringing him in for a small kiss before sitting him on the bike.
“Let’s go.”
The two rode across the bridge that shone in blue and yellow hues, driving into a night that had just begun.