Work Text:
A man might go his whole life fighting against his vices, but a gentleman must, above all else, maintain his virtue. Jonathan Joestar grew up hearing this lesson time and time again. To hear it told, men were constantly locked in a battle against their own lustful natures, tempted at every opportunity by the insatiable desire within them, and the siren song of seduction without.
So he took it as a good sign, then, that he never seemed to have a problem with that. His eyes never wandered to women (or to anyone else, for that matter), and it wasn’t only from the lingering fear that Dio might drive anyone he became close with away. He was far more content focusing on his studies and his sports. His schoolmates struggled over—or perhaps were happily swayed by—dalliances that took up much of their time. But Jonathan remained untempted. It wasn’t the sort of thing a gentleman thought about, and so the fact that he didn’t must have meant he was well on the way to his goal.
After all, the matter of sex was a worry for one’s wedding night. There was no point in thinking about it without even being betrothed.
With all he’d experienced leading up to his short engagement with Erina, it had continued to be the furthest thing from his mind. It was all such a marvel he’d been found by her again after so many years, and that he’d returned alive from his battle against Dio in order to make her his bride. After such a dark and harrowing time, she’d appeared as a soft place for him to land. He’d finally felt safe again, a rarity in his life that had been marked by pain and strife.
These blessings so filled his head and heart that the inevitability hadn’t even occurred to him until the night of their wedding was upon them.
Though he hadn’t had the opportunity to build his anticipation in the way he might have liked, their night had been every bit as meaningful as he’d heard it should be. He’d been glad for this chance to truly give reverence to the ritual of their covenant, and outside of that, to embrace a new sort of intimacy between them. How could he not have been happy, getting to spend the whole night in her arms?
But the next night, when Erina pressed against him, her sweet kisses turning to hands stroking down his sides, he was confused. “Erina, wait,” he said against her lips, placing a hand on her arm to slow her down. “What are you doing?”
“Surely you haven’t forgotten?” she laughed, amused but not unkind, pulling back to look at him in the dim moonlight of their room. “This is one of the benefits of being husband and wife, isn’t it?”
Her laugh was infectious and Jojo found one lilting his own words as he replied, “I know that. It was important, a way to bind us together in body as well as soul. And, of course, for the two of us to begin our family.” The creation of new life. After all he’d lost, that thought gave him even more reason to smile. “But we’ve done that already. What purpose does it serve now?”
It was here a touch of incredulity crept into Erina’s voice, and she squirmed slightly as she spoke. “Can you not think of… another purpose for it…?”
Oh, so that was it! Erina must have grown up hearing the same stories of a man’s urges as he had, and no doubt the talk of wifely duties as well. Perhaps she was trying to sate in him a desire to wander from their marriage already.
“Erina, it’s alright,” he said, smiling as he rubbed her arms reassuringly, “I know women don’t desire such a thing, so there’s no need for you to go out of your way to try and stem my appetites. As a gentleman, I am not taken with feelings of lust.”
Swiftly, Erina sat up, and it was here Jonathan began to wonder if this was more serious of an issue than he’d initially thought.
“Jojo, pardon me for a moment, but what… what do you mean by that?”
He propped himself up as well, so it would be easier to look her in the eye. Her face was held in shadow by the moonlight streaming in behind her, but he felt her gaze upon him and gave his own in return. Such things may not be polite to talk about, but he felt that being cryptic would have been a greater rudeness. This was Erina. His wife.
“This may be improper for me to know, and even more to gossip about… but I’ve heard that many less principled men ignore their wife’s virtue, treating her as an outlet for the lust they don’t even bother to control—and if she won’t relent, they go elsewhere. But it’s alright, I’m just as virtuous as you. I’m not consumed with such an affliction. I’ve never lusted a day in my life.”
“Jojo…” when Erina spoke, it was in the gentle tone she must use with her patients. She looked as if she was struggling against the same bonds of impropriety that he had, yet still she held his gaze. “Virtuous people may not act on it, outside of marriage, but they can still… they still feel it.”
Jonathan furrowed his brow, uncertain. “A-Are you sure? That’s not how I understood it…”
Erina’s face burned so red he could see it even in the darkness. “I know for certain. Because… I feel it.”
Jonathan felt like he’d been shaken to the core, but it was not from the revelation itself. Erina was the most kind-hearted, noble, and virtuous woman he knew, and he’d just inadvertently insulted her honour with his careless remarks.
He started forward, clasping her hands in his own. “Erina, you should know I hold you in the highest esteem! Please forgive me if my ignorance hurt you. I truly wasn’t aware such a thing was possible…”
Although she did not look offended, it seemed it was now Erina’s turn to look confused. “You really have never… felt lust, or desire? Not even when we were together last night?”
“Erm…” It was hard for Jonathan to find an answer to that question, given that the premise on which he’d based his world was apparently untrue. Now he was uncertain if she’d appreciate being told he’d never had a lustful thought about her in any situation, their nuptials included. “For all it was warned about, my mind was never on such things. I was content to wait for my wedding night, since it sounded like it would be so special… and with you, it was! But now, I still don’t feel… ‘desire’, as you put it. I love you, and I enjoyed being with you, but I wasn’t aware there was… something more to it than that.”
Erina’s voice was quiet, fragile in the darkness. For such a courageous woman, she seemed afraid of what she asked next. “Are you certain it isn’t something about me? Something I’ve done wrong, to make you not want to…”
“Oh, Erina, no!” He reached out to stroke her cheek, overcome with relief when he found it warm but dry. “You’ve had my heart since we were young, and I’m so lucky to have had you there with me, to pull me out of my deepest despair. Honestly, I thought…” Unexpectedly, Jonathan found himself in danger of spilling tears at this confession. “I was glad, thinking that I wasn’t the type of man who would do you wrong, but… I’m sorry, I suppose being married to me must not be so fortunate for you after all.”
Erina took his hand into her own, kissing it as she reached out to wipe the tear glistening on Jojo’s cheek. “Dear, I married you because of your courage and your honour. You only ever wish to support and protect me, and you excel at it. It’s a blessing to have married you! This one thing doesn’t negate all of that.”
Jonathan sniffled, leaned into her touch. “Ah, but… as a gentleman, and as your husband, if this is something you want then it’s my responsibility to provide it for you.”
Erina squeezed his hand. “I don’t want you to provide it out of some sense of responsibility. I’m a lady, after all! I couldn’t stand to be one of those brutes you mentioned, forcing you into something you don’t enjoy. Why, just thinking that I may have…” By now his eyes had adjusted fully to the darkness, and he could see an expression of horror come across her features.
It was his turn to reassure. “I didn’t feel that way at all! I may not understand this desire for desire’s sake, but being close to you made me happy. And my life before now was sorely lacking in happiness.” He played off that unfortunate truth with a shaky laugh. “It will always be something I treasure. Please don’t think that I have any misgivings about it.”
Erina shifted over, close enough that she could hug him, slipping her arms around his broad chest. “You truly mean it?”
“A gentleman always tells the truth, Erina.” And as such, he wanted to be able to get this all sorted out between them, to make sure there was no further misunderstanding. “It wasn’t bad, but… I just can’t reconcile it in my heart if it were to happen all the time. I suppose in the way Christmas might lose its shine if it happened every day. It’s supposed to be… an occasion.”
The lighthearted lilt had returned to her laugh when he felt it now against his chest. “You think lovemaking is like Christmas?”
“N-Not exactly,” he said, realizing how silly the comparison sounded. “But holidays are meant to mark important events, right? It’s tradition. And I wondered if… for us, maybe we could make this into a tradition, a part of marking special occasions. I know there’s more to it than that for you, but to me, that’s how it makes the most sense…” Knowing now that it did mean more to her, he didn’t want to remain indifferent to Erina’s wishes. But the idea that such an intimate act might come from nowhere, driven by the whims of something like desire, made him feel a bit flustered. It would be more comfortable if it were something he could anticipate, like one does with their wedding night. When thinking of it like that, he found it didn’t trouble him at all. But the question now was…
“Does that sound agreeable to you?”
The brief moment it took her to ponder the idea was agonizing, and he felt scarcely able to breathe as he awaited her answer. But he needn’t have worried. “Making it into an occasion sounds lovely to me,” she said, then looked up at him from where she sat nestled in his arms. “But for all you say that, should the time come and you don’t want to, you’re free to refuse. You are my husband. And I don’t just mean by law, but by love. I could never dream of doing something to harm you.” There it was, the tender care she’d given him back in the hospital after that fateful night. He’d known right then and there that he was going to marry her. Now, his heart held twice the burden of back then, but he knew he did not hold it alone. And just in knowing that, it somehow felt lighter.
“I only want this if it’s something that would make us both happy,” she asserted.
“Erina,” he said, smiling down at her, her face aglow with love and silver moonlight, “as long as I’m with you, I don’t think I’ll ever be unhappy again.”