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“You were wrong, you know.” Anne whispered.
I always am, Sasha wanted to say. It was true. Even before Amphibia, there were so many things she did wrong. Things she so badly wants to take back, to fix, to make right. But it was too late now.
“About what?” She asked instead. This response was safe, a neutral approach. She had made herself vulnerable one too many times as it is.
Oddly enough, that didn’t bother her as much as it should have. Her girls always did have a way of making her feel safe, like she could let her walls down, if only for a little while. Like coming back after a long day and seeing your loved ones. Realizing that you were home.
(The Sasha of five months ago would have avoided the implications of these thoughts. Now she knows better.)
They currently laid in the grass, the countless stars scattered across the sky with their glitter. Anne shifted, head against Sasha’s chest. The blonde gently adjusted her hold to accommodate. One of her hands began to gently thread through the curls of brown hair, the other grasping Anne’s, rough calluses against a soft touch.
“Back at Toad Tower. You said I was better off without you. That’s not true. It…it never was.” Anne’s voice cracked towards the end, and with it Sasha’s heart.
“I did need you. I still need you. Do you know how scared I was when I watched you fall? I could’ve saved you, I…” Anne squeezed her hand, trying to keep herself grounded.
Sasha moved her arms to fully embrace the girl, burying her nose into soft brown hair. She thought back to the countless sleepovers in the past, holding them both late into the night.
(She never would get tired of this feeling, having someone she cared about so deeply right here in her arms. It felt right. Like putting the final piece in the puzzle and having the full, uninterrupted picture.
Except right now, there was one more piece missing. The third of their trio. And Sasha didn’t know if it would ever be filled.)
“It’s not your fault,” she murmured. “It never was. I was the one who took it too far.”
Anne shifted her head to look her in the eyes, almost as if she were searching for something. Maybe it was to see the validity of her words, to see if she was being honest.
Sasha had nothing to hide, now. Her soul was now exposed, vulnerable, all for Anne to take. It should be scary. But it wasn’t.
(She’d give Anne the whole world, if she could. She tried, back in Newtopia. Even if Anne rejected her offering, it was still there, if she ever changed her mind. It was selfish, she knew. Sasha didn’t care. Truth be told, she didn’t care about anything that happened now, just as long as her girls were with her.
But their third wasn’t here. Sasha tried to ignore the sting in her chest.)
She snapped out of her thoughts with Anne’s thumb slowly caressing the scar on her cheek.
“Maybe you’re right,” she whispered. “But I still chose to listen and steal the box anyway. It wasn’t just you two. We all made mistakes.”
Sasha didn’t miss the way she avoided saying her name, almost as if their peace would be shattered if it were uttered. She also didn’t miss how Anne caught on to what her self hatred was alluding to.
“But I pushed you to do it,” she insisted, shutting her eyes in shame. “You didn’t know any better.”
“Neither did you,” Anne fired back with no hesitation. “None of us did. Why won’t you believe me, Sash?”
“Because I hurt you.” Sasha choked out, voice cracking.
“I hurt you.” She repeated in a heavy whisper, heart twisting in anguish.
Admitting it hurt. Admitting that harm was brought upon someone she cherished so deeply, harm she was the direct cause of, hurt. But there was no avoiding the truth.
Silence now accompanied the growing tension. Once again, she just had to ruin what they had here.
“Hey, Sash. Look at me?” Anne’s voice, sweet like honey, cut through her spiraling thoughts.
(She would never refuse her, now.)
Sasha slowly opened her eyes, seeing Anne looking right back at her with the same amount of care.
She began to pull her hand away from her cheek. Sasha quickly grasped it, threading their fingers together and laying them on her chest. Anne made no move to pull away.
“You did hurt me,” she began. “But I hurt you too. I’m sorry.”
“I deserved it.” The blonde immediately answered on instinct. Anne frowned.
“No, you don’t. Either way…don’t be so hard on yourself. Please. I care about you, and it hurts hearing you saying these things.”
Sasha gently squeezed her hand. “I care about you too. But I don’t deserve this. I never did.”
Anne slowly huffed out a sigh through her nose. She looked away, as if she were deliberating something. Then she sat up, leaning on her elbow.
“I want to prove it. How much I care. Can I?” Anne’s gaze moved downward, towards her lips.
Sasha blinked. Was Anne asking…?
(Even after everything, Anne still wanted her. The jaded, broken part of her sneered that she didn’t earn this. Another part of her, younger, more innocent, the part that loved, loved so strongly, cried out in joy.
She hadn’t felt this happiness in years. Where did the time go?)
“Yes.” she whispered in disbelief.
Anne shakily smiled, then gently placed her hands on Sasha’s cheeks. Leaning down, as their lips connected, Sasha buried her hands into her curls, closing her eyes.
(If she had to be honest, this scenario was something she had wondered, no, imagined before. What their lips would feel like on hers. How it would feel to call them her girlfriends.
She had shoved those thoughts and feelings down, refusing to acknowledge them. As long as they were with her, that was all she needed. Nothing more.
Oh, how foolish she was.)
Anne sighed into the kiss, content. Sasha savored every second, committing each one to memory. It was slow, and soft, and everything she ever dreamed of.
Eventually, Anne pulls back for air. She let out a giggle, sheepishly grinning.
“Sorry, um…was that too much?” She asked nervously.
“No,” Sasha quietly reassured her. “It was perfect.”
Anne snorted at that. “Since when did you become such a sap?”
The blonde playfully batted at her shoulder in response.
Silence blanketed their bubble once more, but it was a comfortable one. But as much as Sasha wanted to keep it this way forever, she had to know.
“So…what does this mean…for us?”
Anne, who had laid back down and buried her face into Sasha’s shoulder, quietly sighed.
“To be honest? I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet. Not when we still have things to do first. Also…I wanna be able to talk about this after everything is over. With you…and Marcy.”
Sasha’s chest twinged hearing her name spoken aloud. It was jarring, considering they had been dancing around that topic until now.
“We’ll find her,” Anne reassured, looking up and seeing the anguish in Sasha’s eyes. “I promise.”
“Yeah. We will.” Sasha never was one for giving up, after all.
Tomorrow, they would return to their duties, strengthening the rebellion, rescuing the third of their trio, and finding a way to stop Andrias once and for all.
But for now…
Sasha gently kissed Anne’s forehead, slightly tightening her embrace.
She knew they had a long road ahead of them. Things were far from fixed, and life was far from easy.
But right now, as she held her girl in her arms, she made a promise.
Sasha wouldn’t let go. Never again.