Work Text:
Katsuki’s POV:
TWO YEARS AGO
“Kah-chan, do you have a moment to talk?” I groan at the annoying voice behind me. At this point, everyone else was gone.
“What the fuck do you want,” Izuku pulls out a cloth splattered in red and begins to cough. I wait patiently, he'd been doing this a lot lately; sometimes there would even be blood on his desk when he was done. He finishes his coughing fit and looks to the ground nervously.
“I, um, well,”
“Spit it out, idiot. I don’t have all damn day,” he gulps.
“My doctor says I need to start saying goodbye to those I care about. Apparently, my illness is getting worse and he doesn’t think I will live much longer,” I tsk.
“So why the hell are you telling me?” he looks up, his green eyes watery.
“Y-you’re my best friend, Kah-chan. I didn’t want you to have to find out some other way, you know?”
“We’re not friends, Deku. Do you understand that?” he nods slowly.
“You’re right. So, I guess we can look at my passing as a good thing! I can finally stop holding you back from your true potential! I’m so happy for you Kah-chan! I know you’ll grow to be an amazing hero with me out of your way!”
“Yeah, whatever,” I turn to leave.
“Hey, Kah-chan,” he pauses, “I love you,”
~
“Katsuki, please sit down, I need to tell you something,”
“What is it, you Old Hag?” Mitsuki grinds her teeth.
“Inko called, Izuku passed away this morning,” I tense at the words.
“What do you mean, ‘passed away?’” I snarl.
“He died, Katsuki. He’s no longer with us,” I could feel something wet slip down my cheek.
“Hey Kah-chan, I love you,”
“He’s gone?”
“Yes, his funeral should be in a week or two,” I growl and stand from the chair, my quirk already activating. I could hear it popping loudly and I could feel warm wetness leaking down my cheeks and landing on the floor. I scream. Izuku Midoriya, my best friend, was dead. And I never told him i loved him back.
~
In the weeks leading up to his funeral, I had a hard time focusing in classes. I found myself staring at the seat that used to be his. The teacher is unhappy with this, says I’ll never get into UA by being distracted.
I can’t help it. I’m not used to not hearing his annoying voice pitching into the class discussions, or muttering to himself as he wrote in those stupid books.
I miss him.
“Hey Kah-chan, I love you,”
~
At the funeral, I avoid going to his casket until the end of the service, just before they lower him into his new home. When I go, I am stunned to see him. He looks fine. Like he used to when he would nap. He looked peaceful and happy. I slam my fist into the side of the casket, half expecting him to flinch like he always did. He doesn’t move.
“Damn it, Deku. Damn it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you. I’m so fucking sorry,” the wetness was back and dripping on Izuku’s face. It almost looked like he was crying. He did it so often, it looked natural on him. I reach out and brush the water away. I am shocked at how cold he was. Izuku hated the cold. A warm hand settles on my back.
“Hey Kah-chan, I love you,”
~
I spend a lot of time with his mother. She feels the same like she somehow failed to protect her baby from the world. There is no protecting them from deadly diseases, though. No protecting them from the world. We talk about the old days when we were inseparable. Apparently, Izuku idolized me. He was heartbroken when he failed me by never getting his quirk. I never knew that. Yet, I treated him as if it was true. I treated him like he was someone other than my best friend. He was still my Izuku. Why was I so cruel?
"Hey Kah-chan, I love you,"
~
ONE YEAR AGO
“I guess we can look at my passing as a good thing! I can finally stop holding you back from your true potential! I’m so happy for you Kah-chan! I know you’ll grow to be an amazing hero with me out of your way!”
I take a long breath as I enter the UA campus, my first day as an official student and I can’t get that damned nerds voice out of my head. It had been a year, so why couldn’t I forget the brat? I shake it off and enter the school. I look around silently. Izuku would've loved this place. He would probably spend every moment of his free time wandering the halls and adding notes to those stupid books. I plop into my seat in my first class and pull my bag open. There sat one of his very books. Inko had given them to me, though I could use his notes on heroes and villains. I bite my lip angrily as I drop my bag and kick it under my seat. As the first few extra’s start filing in, Izuku leaves my mind.
"Hey Kah-chan, I love you,"
~
We are being mandated to move into the dorms on campus, villain attacks. I do not know why, but I am compelled to take every book Izuku wrote with me. Along with his favorite hoody, the framed picture of us, and his phone.
I yell at anyone who tries to touch these items. How dare they try to taint Izuku’s memory with their filth? Hell, I didn’t even deserve to have these things, it wasn’t right. Not after the way I treated him.
“Hey Kah-chan, I love you,”
~
CURENT TIME
My room is destroyed, everything either burnt, ripped or littering the floor. It’s the two-year anniversary of Izuku’s death. My first one away from Inko and my parents. The school denied my request to go home, said I needed a reason. A gentle knock sounds at my door and I instantly yell for them to go fuck themselves. The door props open and for a fragment of a second, I expect Izuku himself to peer through at me. Instead, ruby eyes watch me tentatively.
“Bakubro, are you okay?” Kirishima gasps softly at the mess I’d made of my room. He pushes the door open and survey’s the damage. Izuku’s books were scattered among the ripped and burned remains of every other book I owned. My bed and dresser were both flipped and there were several searing holes punched in the wall. Kirishima whistles softly and closes the door. He clicks his tongue.
“Looks like you missed some books,” he moves forward and grabs the first one Izuku ever made. He smiles a bit as he reads it.
“Wow, whoever wrote this really seemed to love you ,”
“Put that down,” I snarl, raising to my feet to beat the shit out of the redhead who dared touch Izuku’s books. He drops it and I flinch as the pages crumple. I scoop it up and hold it close to my chest.
“Bakubro, what’s going on?” I set the book atop one of its brothers and step forward, quirk activated and fists raised. Kirishima activates his quirk as well, and simply takes my punches. I screamed the entire time. When I’ve tired myself out I look around the room. The framed image had fallen during my assault on the other man and had cracked over Izuku’s face. I choke on a sob.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper to the image and cradle it close to my heart.
“Who was he?”
“My best friend,” I cry, sinking to my knees. Kirishima wraps himself around me and I tell him everything. Everything I’d been too ashamed to tell Inko. Everything I’d been too embarrassed to tell Izuku. I spill my guts. When it’s over, Kirishima helps me right my room and promises not to tell anyone.
“Hey Kah-chan, I love you,”
I stare at the photo silently, alone once more.
“I love you too, Izuku Midoriya,”