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Javier Esposito was everything but a fridgit , like Ryan would say. He had a lot of relationships.
He had his first ‘girlfriend’ when he was only 5 years old. Her name was Sarah and she was in his kindergarten class. They always played together in the sandbox and she’d hold his hand when their teacher was teaching them to do basic math or when they learned about all the different animals in the zoo. It had lasted only a couple of weeks, until he had exchanged girlfriends with his best friend at the time. No big deal.
The second girlfriend - and first actual girlfriend - was called Valentina Hernandez. He met her when he was 15. They had Spanish class together. She was Puerto Rican and they had been the only ones who actually spoke Spanish in their class. She had been his first everything: first date, first kiss, first time meeting the parents, his first time ; but also his first heartbreak. They had lasted two years.
After high school, Esposito enrolled in the military. During those years, he didn’t have time for relationships, even if he’d wanted to. And when he had some free time, he’d just wanted to share it with his mother, being there for her whenever and however he could.
But then came university where he had a lot of casual relationships. One of them was a guy named Luc who was an exchange student from Europe. They ran into each other in their dorm and formed a close friendship really quickly. They were both bi-curious, both didn’t want a serious relationship, but they both wanted someone they could trust while exploring how homosexual relationships could work. That was fun, until Luc went back to Europe and he never saw or heard him again.
When he joined the force, Esposito had decided to never think about that bi-curious time in his life again. Being a cop was bad enough without the homophobic remarks of those you were supposed to trust with your life.
Not long after he became a cop, he met Elena Rodriguez. Elena had been everything Esposito had imagined as a little boy: beautiful, smart, hispanic and very good in bed. Everything went well for a couple of months, until Elena had started to complain about his job and the risks he was taking on a daily basis. On top of that, she began to drop hints about wanting to get married. Esposito ran out of there and never looked back.
And of course, there was Lanie. Lanie, who was more a very good friend than a girlfriend. He really tried with her, he had really wanted it to work out. She was amazing: beautiful, she got his job and they were very compatible. She knew him almost better than he did himself. But he was glad when she finally called it off for real after years of having an on-off relationship. He couldn’t give her what she wanted, couldn’t give her what she deserved .
But if you’d ask Esposito who his first real love was, he wouldn’t hesitate a moment. There was only one name popping up in his head: Kevin Ryan.
He had met Kevin at the precinct - of course. He hadn’t liked his partner at first. He was way too giddy to be a homicide detective. He never saw the bad in the world, even if he was confronted with it every single day. But when they had gone after their first suspect, and Ryan had tackled the guy who was two times his size. And okay, maybe Kevin Ryan wasn’t as bad as he seemed.
So they had started talking about sports in their breaks. Then they started watching games at the pub. Then they started to watch the games at their apartments. Then they started to play video games before watching those games, because why go over home between work and the game when you could be with your best friend instead? And then they just started playing video games multiple nights a week. They practically lived together at some point.
They saw each other on their best days and their worst. They got shot at, they got beaten up and they got tortured together. They teased each other mercilessly, got PTSD episodes in each other’s presence and they laughed their asses off together. Just best friends doing everything together and being there for each other no matter what.
And suddenly they were way more than that. And Esposito had been oddly happy with the change in their relationship. But at the same time, it wasn’t a big deal between them. The only things that changed, was that they kissed and cuddled and fucked and made love , but their dynamic hadn’t changed. And that’s what Esposito loved so much about his relationship with Kevin Ryan.
It wasn’t like the others hadn’t meant anything, but Kevin… Kevin was the first partner he actually fell in love with. Someone he fell more in love with every day. He knew Kevin inside out and it was the first time those little quirks didn’t scare him off.
Kevin also was the first one he could be himself with, without exceptions. Sitting on the couch naked, drinking beer and eating pizza, while watching sport events? Kevin would be right there next to him, doing the exact same thing, instead of shooting disgusted looks. Feeling emotional after a tough case? Kevin had just experienced it as well, they always got through it together. No need to sugarcoat it. Just wanted to cuddle on the couch? He wasn’t afraid to tell Kevin that. Although he would threaten him, would he ever want to tell their friends Javier Esposito was a cuddler. He had an image to maintain.
And when Kevin talked about marriage? He didn’t freak out. No, he’d already bought a ring, ready to ask him whenever the time was right. Yes, Esposito was ready. Ready to spend the rest of his life with Kevin Ryan by his side.