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With J’onn occupied setting up the new DEO, Alex and Kelly busy planning their wedding together and Lena finally having the chance to explore her potential outside of the Luthor name, Kara found she had more time than ever to retreat into the sky and listen in on the world that she’d spent years protecting as her own.
Hovering far above the stratosphere, the weightlessness of space just a whisper away from countering her own powers, Kara opened up her heightened senses to the masses, allowing the flood of millions of civilian voices access as they went about their daily lives down below.
Since her speech, she’d noticed a distinct drop in circumstances that required Supergirl’s help. The people had banded together, their sense of awareness for one another’s suffering clearer than ever before. She hadn’t seen the community come together like this in a long while, but it felt different this time. People weren’t just riding the high of surviving a world-ending event – they’d certainly done that plenty of times – instead, they’d been given perspective, the chance to understand each other, the trueness of the people they wanted to be, with no uncertainty or dubiousness that might have otherwise marred their judgement. Everyone wanted to help each other, to save each other.
She hoped it was a mentality that would continue long into the future.
Future.
Something uncomfortably sharp pierced Kara’s chest at that thought, making it difficult to swallow down.
It’d been two weeks since Brainy had left now, and although everyone was trying to move forward, to keep fighting the good fight just as he’d wanted them to, there were still days that it was difficult if not outright impossible not to think about the Coluan-sized hole that had been carved out of their family dynamic.
Kara had caught J’onn more than once offhandedly suggesting a solution that involved Brainy’s help, only to grow unnervingly pensive when he realised his mistake. Lena had been spending less and less time in the Tower since her lab partner had left, instead trying to focus on building a name for herself with Andrea’s assistance far outside of her family’s shadow.
She was a businesswoman at heart, but now she was entirely focused on using her wealth to fund the scientific pursuits of others who weren’t as fortunate as her.
It was noble, but Kara knew it also doubled as a perfect distraction that she sorely needed.
They were all distracting themselves with anything they could, but none as obviously as Nia.
She’d been putting the effort in as Dreamer the second she clocked out at CatCo. She’d taken the civil servant role to the extreme, shedding her hero persona for her work one with no room to breathe in between. With the endless flow of coffee cups she was juggling throughout the day, Kara knew she wasn’t leaving herself with any time to sleep, either.
Kara shuddered suddenly. Bathed in an orange glow so close to breaching the Earth’s atmosphere, she could feel that vitality running through her DNA, but this was a kind of chill that not even a yellow sun could remedy.
She hadn’t meant to, but thinking about it caused Kara’s super hearing to hone in on one pulse in particular.
To a heartbroken young woman curled into her sofa, trying to drown her sorrows in a family size tub of rocky road.
They’d all been busy, they’d all made themselves busy. But Kara had time now, and she knew exactly where she needed to spend it.
Kara didn’t think. Instead, she shot downward, soaring through the slowly darkening sky of National City, frigid air snapping at her face as she sped her way to Nia’s apartment. She moved just as fast once she’d landed, only slowing when she was finally at the doorstep, reeling in her super strength enough to knock casually if not a little insistently. The last of her nano suit retreated into her glasses as she hastily threw them back across her nose.
When no one responded for well over thirty seconds, Kara sighed, rolling her eyes.
“Nia, I know you’re in there,” she said exasperatedly, lowering her voice as she edged closer to the door. “I have x ray vision, remember?”
A groan and a grumble emanated from the other side of the door. Kara could hear a mountain of blankets being shed and a throw pillow living up to its name as it was flung halfway across the room when Nia finally dragged herself from the sofa. She padded over to the door, opening it with a sour look on her face.
She was pale, Kara realised. Her skin nearly greyed out from lack of sleep. The bags under her eyes had bags, and the agitated, disgruntled look written all over her expression suggested that so much as a pin drop might cause her to lose her cool.
Kara smiled sympathetically. “Can I come in?”
Nia stared at her blankly. “Can’t this wait ‘til tomorrow?”
Kara fought the urge to grimace. She hadn’t had an honest conversation with Nia for weeks. Whenever Kara had tried, Nia had always been too busy to hear her. Nose deep in an article, or out on the streets proving her journalistic prowess to Andrea. There was something coldly determined about Nia’s outlook recently when it came to her job. She’d been gaining interviews, sure, but she’d been pushing harder than nearly anyone at CatCo to get them. Anyone else on the pay roll would’ve been arrested for the stunts she’d pulled in the last week alone, but only Kara knew of her Naltorian advantage.
Was using her powers to stalk potential stories morally ambiguous? Sure, but Kara couldn’t say she hadn’t used her own talents before to get a scoop faster than her competition. It was the nature of journalism… but it wasn’t Nia’s nature.
Not until recently, at least.
So, Kara lifted her chin. “Actually, no. It can’t.”
Nia blinked warily, rubbing at her eyes. “Is there a superhero emergency?”
Kara shook her head. “No—no it’s not about that. It’s about—hey!”
The second Kara had spoken, Nia was already making to close the door in her face. The only thing keeping her from doing so was Kara’s hand wedged adamantly between her and the frame. “Nia!”
“If it’s not an emergency, then it can wait,” Nia said coldly. “It’s late.”
“Y’know what? I wasn’t asking,” Kara decided, shouldering her way into the apartment.
She breezed past Nia defiantly, watching her friend’s mouth pop open in silent outrage as she made herself comfortable on the sofa, folding her arms.
Kara eyed the half melted rocky road on the coffee table. “Ice cream, huh?”
Nia’s eyes narrowed accusingly. “So what?”
Kara sighed, leaning back into the sofa. “Nia, you can talk to me, you know that.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Kara stared her down. “That sweatshirt tells me otherwise.”
Nia hunched in on herself in affront, folding her arms defensively around the yellow hoodie she was wearing. It hung a little too loosely on her frame, enough that she could tuck her fingers comfortably into the sleeves if she’d wanted. It was the hoodie Nia had worn almost exclusively when she and Brainy had temporarily broken up some months ago - the hoodie that Kara knew had once belonged to Brainy.
“Unless you have anything important to say, I’d like you to leave,” Nia said. “I’m tired, I’ve had a hell of a week and I am so not above being petty right now.” She flexed her hand to prove her point, a dangerous swirl of blue sparking from the tips of her fingers.
Kara could only pity Nia’s attempt at deflection. She sighed, scrunching her hands into her lap. “I just wanted to say… that I’m sorry.”
Nia faltered, clenching her arms tighter around herself. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” Kara repeated earnestly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything sooner, that I let it get this bad for you.” She watched Nia sadly. “You haven’t been sleeping, have you?”
Nia’s lips trembled. She sniffed, wiping angrily at her face with the sleeve of her hoodie as tears began to well in her eyes. “I-” she began before sucking air through her teeth. “I can’t. Not since—not since Brainy--”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
“Oh, Nia, honey, come here.”
Nia stood frozen for a moment, shaking her head abjectly, unable to make the decision on whether to walk towards Kara or back even further away. Eventually, something in her expression folded, and Nia took a staggered step forward.
Kara stood immediately, taking Nia’s hands, helping guide her towards the sofa.
Nia let her, all but collapsing into the cushions the second she was close enough. She arched her legs, hugging them to her chest. She ducked her head, dark hair falling limply over her face, poorly masking the tears that had begun to streak down her cheeks.
Kara reached out, hooking loose strands around her fingers, tucking them behind Nia’s ears.
“Hey,” she said softly. “Look at me, it’s alright.”
Nia’s chest convulsed with a swallowed sob as she looked up, her eyes wide and shimmering with moisture.
A soft sound caught in Kara’s throat as she scooched over to Nia’s side of the sofa, cupping her cheek with one hand. “You are so strong, you know that?” She wiped a stray tear from her cheek with her thumb. “But, listen, that doesn’t ever mean you have to do this alone.”
Nia jerked her chin abruptly from Kara’s hand, turning away. “How can I not?” she asked harshly, closing her eyes. “Everyone else is moving forward, but they don’t have to go home without him every night, they don’t have to sleep in an empty bed surrounded by everything he ever touched. They won’t understand.”
Kara’s heart sank at that. She forced a strained laugh, folding her hands together awkwardly. “Actually, I think I might know a little how that feels,” she admitted.
When Nia glanced at her curiously, she deflated. “Um, well, when I sent Mon-El away, I had no idea what had happened to him, but I—I assumed the worst.” Kara shrugged. “That-that he hadn’t made it to safety, that I was responsible for his death.”
Nia flinched. “He wouldn’t’ve survived on Earth, though, right?”
“And I blamed myself for that, too,” Kara said with fake cheer. “And, ironically, it was Mon-El that told me a little bit more about the merge. At least, how he understood it. It’s… it’s supposed to be an incredibly high honour to be asked to join the Big Brain like that.”
“He didn’t want it,” Nia said weakly, pursing her lips. “He was so scared, and I couldn’t do anything to keep him here. I—” She ducked her head towards her knees, baring her teeth. “It’s like there’s a hole in my chest where he used to be. Every time I think about him, I wonder if he’s even out there anymore, if my Brainy even exists. He said I’d be in his dreams, but I don’t even know if he can dream like that. And-and it hurts, Kara. The emptiness is eating me alive and I feel like I can’t breathe.”
“Hey, hey, come here.” Kara wrapped her arm around Nia’s shoulder, urging her towards her. Nia didn’t try to fight her this time. Instead, she let out a shaky sob, turning into Kara’s embrace, pressing her face into the crook of her neck.
Kara rocked her gently, spreading her hands across her back, doing everything she could to try and steady the spasmodic jerks of Nia’s chest as she cried freely in her arms. Kara blinked quickly, realising that her own eyes were beginning to cloud.
“He shouldn’t have gone,” Nia said, her voice muffled against Kara’s throat. “We should have found another way. A way to save him from this. He didn’t want to do it, Kara. He- he didn’t want to leave me. To leave us.”
“I know,” Kara said, squeezing her eyes shut. “This life we lead… sometimes we have to make decisions that hurt so much to save the world.”
“I-I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“And that’s okay,” Kara murmured into her ear, stroking her fingers through the ends of Nia’s hair. “You lost him, there’s no right way to grieve, but there are ways you want to avoid.” She leaned back, enough to look Nia squarely in the eyes. “Don’t do this on your own, okay? Know that I’m right here for you, we all are. Brainy meant a lot to all of us, and what he did was…” Kara swallowed with difficulty. “It was an incredible sacrifice to make.” She reached out with one arm, plucking a tissue from the box sat on the coffee table, mopping the tears from Nia’s face where they had begun to blotch her skin. “I tried to ignore my human side, my family, in favour of Supergirl when I was in your position. Because, when I was her, I didn’t need to think about it, and maybe for a while it made it hurt a little less. But, that pain has to come out some time.”
Nia laughed through her tears, taking the tissue gratefully from Kara’s hands. “Brainy used to bottle stuff up, too. Y’know, I told him it wasn’t healthy.” She blew her nose, grimacing. “He didn’t hear me for a long time. But he did eventually.”
“He wouldn’t want you to make his mistake,” Kara said, frowning. “Our mistakes. You spend so much time as a hero, caring for everyone around you. It’s easy to forget to take care of yourself.”
Nia sniffed, glancing towards the coffee table. “Right now, self-care is this tub of ice cream.”
“Okay,” Kara laughed, lifting a finger. “For tonight, I’ll allow it. If you let me join you.”
“You’re not having this tub,” Nia warned, snatching it up from the table protectively. “I’ve seen you unhinge your jaw to inhale potstickers before. I know what to expect.”
“Fine.” Kara’s smile sobered. “But I’m sitting here with you, okay?”
Nia smiled back, it was watery but genuine. “Okay,” she mumbled. “Thank you.”
Maybe Kara wasn’t a Brainy replacement, she would certainly never expect Nia to think that, but she was an excellent snuggler when she needed to be. Some might even say it was Kara Danvers' superpower.
Once the ice cream was finished with, Nia started to relax, curling into Kara’s side. “You’re really warm,” she murmured, eyes fluttering shut. “Has anyone ever told you that before?”
Kara chuckled, patting her hand. “It’s a Kryptonian thing.”
“It’s a Coluan thing, too,” Nia said, her voice already far away.
Kara’s heart clenched in anticipation, but no tears followed Nia’s words. Instead, after a few short moments, Nia’s mouth fell slack as her breathing evened out, and she started to snore.
Kara took a deep breath of her own, trying to keep her eyes from prickling. Instead, she made herself busy, taking the blanket Nia had discarded on the floor and tucking it over their laps.
She certainly couldn’t replace Brainy, that was true. Nothing would ever fill the hole he’d left behind.
But if she could help Nia sleep, then that was all that mattered.