Chapter Text
Wilbur has never been alone.
That in itself is a fact. There has never been a second in his life where he had to stare out into the dark and think that there was no help that could be reached.
From when he was little, (swapping secrets, sharing dreams and hopes, whispering to each other late at night) to even now, (sharing fears, chasing away worries, keeping company) there was always someone , within reach.
Technoblade is a constant.
He’s Wilbur’s brother, his twin, his other half, if you want to start getting all sentimental. They’re not quite just family, really, that word seems plain compared to their bond. Sharing thoughts, sharing emotions, it tends to blur the line of just sharing blood.
They know each other well. From their worst fears to the greatest ambitions, they know each other. Wilbur has never been alone, because Techno is there, always there, always listening or always speaking. Always beside him, even when they’ve put up their walls and walked away. Even when they split paths, stopped talking, stopped listening, he was still there. Even past the mental barriers, all Wilbur ever had to do was just- reach out. And there he would be.
They’re nearly one in the same, if Wilbur were to dwell on it.
Different sides of a single coin.
Technoblade is deadly, but awkward. He sometimes fumbles over his words, but never falters with a sword, and whichever fight he picks, he wins. Wilbur is eloquent, but not particularly dangerous. He knows he could make someone’s head spin and have them second-guess their own name with enough talk, but he’s never been much of a fighter.
Whatever the other lacks, the other fills it in, and in that sense, they’re entirely complete when they’re at each other's side.
Techno might as well just be Wilbur’s very soul, and vice versa with him.
They have this… habit, from when they were smaller, a little more clingy, a bit more open. Times when they had shared feelings and swapped thoughts like it was second nature.
They call on each other for help. And the other will always respond. For any situation, for any bad day, they always have each other in mind.
So when Techno is hurt, a bleeding wound on his knee, he calls for Wilbur in his mind before he even considers yelling out for Phil. When Wilbur wakes up from a bad nightmare, he whispers into Techno’s thoughts nearly right away, gaining comfort in an instant response. When Technoblade becomes lost in the forest around their childhood home, he asks Wil for guidance, and finds his way back with gentle teasing in his head.
It was mostly just a dependent thing when they were younger. A silly sort of devotion that came with their clinginess. It faded away as they got older. But it never really left.
Their voices grew quieter to each other, over time. Wilbur stopped whispering into Techno’s thoughts, and Techno stopped sharing his ideas within his mind. They learnt how to put up walls, barriers, how to silence the other in their head.
They took full advantage of that new skill, grabbing at the privacy with two hands, practicing it until they could pretend that there wasn’t a bond at all. Until it was easy to just- block the other out. Have some semblance of silence, other than chat, who was always humming.
Wilbur was never alone, even during those years, but it sure did feel like it. Techno was still there, but he could never tell unless he went to check. Unless he called.
And he refused to be the first one to call, because there was no need. They both left home with no idea of what the other was thinking, and they both lived their lives without needing that constant support. They were independent. Free. Why would Wilbur ever need to change that?
He doesn’t need Techno, really. (What a lie.)
Techno doesn’t need him. (A lie .)
They have this bond and they share their thoughts, but when all the walls go up, does that even really matter?
Technoblade can thrive without him, that much is true. They both did well on their own. Wilbur made his country, Techno went off to go farm or something, they didn’t need to be at each other’s side. Wilbur didn’t need Techno to be at his side.
But he still called for him anyway.
He tried, and he failed, and he made a mistake in a burst of panic and fear, arrows flying through the air, people screaming his name. And in that chaos, in that moment of betrayal, all Wilbur could think was-
‘Help.’
And Techno fucking answered. Nearly instantly, as if they hadn’t been silent to each other for years, as if Wilbur hadn’t been blocking him out from his life entirely. As if they still meant something to each other.
Technoblade found him, and then joined his side, and now he won’t leave. Now he seems determined to see Wilbur’s goals follow through, and he’s persistent upon helping. He’s persistent upon staying.
He’s a little more stubborn than how Wilbur remembers. And he’s a bit more watchful. It’s not exactly a good thing, in Wil’s opinion.
Here is one fact of sharing thoughts with your twin.
It’s insufferably difficult to keep secrets. Especially when those secrets are loud. Especially when someone is listening.
Wilbur knows he called first, and so he caused this strange repeat of clinginess all over again. But even so, he can’t help but give slight regret.
It’s not that he doesn’t love his brother. Waking up with a goodmorning in his head and the reminder that there’s safety close, that’s- good. It’s good. He’s grateful for it.
The problem is Wilbur doesn’t deserve that.
And he knows how Techno would react to those sorts of thoughts, he knows how absolutely smothering the guy can get when he’s upset. (Wil swears, it’s only gotten worse since they’ve grown older. After the shitshow of the festival, he refused to let Wilbur do any work until he had been completely healed, no scars to be seen. He kept Wilbur laying in bed, kept bringing dinner, kept him company, and it’s nice, but Wilbur is the president, for prime's sake. He doesn’t need that kind of treatment. Even if Techno is insistent with it.)
So Wilbur keeps his shit tight under wraps. He practices at putting up walls once more, but for some reason it’s gotten difficult ever since they’ve reunited. Before, Wilbur could block out Techno without a second thought.
Now, it takes effort. It takes a certain amount of panic and force to keep Techno from listening in. And even then, Wilbur can’t hold it up. It’s almost like he’s trying to let Techno hear it all, but that is the last thing he wants, thank you very much.
He does have a reputation. Even if Techno is his twin, that reputation still stands. Wilbur must stand tall, stand strong, for what he has built.
There’s no need to call for help when Wilbur can handle it on his own. Technoblade can be here as an ally, a new soldier, but that’s all. Wilbur won’t call for him ever again.
But Techno still listens.
---
‘Have you been sleeping?’ Techno asks him one day, and he’s down the ravine talking with Tommy, their voices echoing out, but he’s still got one eye on Wilbur, who’s laying out plans in his room.
‘You literally woke me up this morning.’ Wilbur responds, huffing with a swell of fondness rushing through him. He can’t even tell if it’s his or Techno’s.
‘Yeah, but you’ve been walking around with eyebags lately.’ Techno points out, worry resting onto Wilbur’s shoulders. Love, love, worry. ‘Frankly, I don’t think it’s a fashionable look.’
‘Fuck you, I look fantastic.’ Wilbur raises a hand up to his face, wondering if he really does look that tired. ‘I’ve only been busy, Techno. Downsides of leadership.’
‘Ugh, president things.’ Annoyance ripples over them both, and Wilbur hums with a roll of his eyes. ‘Government.’ He says, with complete distaste.
‘My government.’
‘Still government.’
‘What do you have against official leaders of power, Techno?’
‘Just kinda tedious, really. Causes conflicts. I mean, look at where we are now.’ Wilbur does spare a look. He glances around the stone walls, their hidden utopia. Their cowardly hiding place.
A small sense of guilt begins to pool into Wilbur’s chest.
They’re here because of him, he wants to think. They’re here because he didn’t plan ahead, didn’t fight back, didn’t protect them. The election went downhill, into flames, and what did he do?
He ran.
He hid away and turned his back, like a scared fool-
Wilbur stomps down the beginnings of those thoughts as quickly as he can, because he’s still holding a conversation, dammit. Techno is still there, keeping attention towards Wil, and Wilbur quickly pulls together a response and sends it back.
‘It’ll get better. All we need is time and resources, and we’ll be taking l’manburg back, along with all the freedom it has to offer.’ They’ll get it back, for sure. Keeping it, now that’s something Wilbur doesn’t know anymore. His plans have been going back and forth these days.
‘Can’t wait.’ Techno hums, and it’s a little dry.
‘You’ll love it.’ Wil reassures.
‘Whatever you say, Mr. President.’ Techno says, and it’s more soft this time around. Wilbur smiles, and pretends as if there isn’t relief of his own running down his back.
---
Techno starts to ‘take watch’ during the night.
He paces through the ravine and explores what little they have, his mind thinking of ways to reinforce their walls, ways to keep this ravine hidden away. He checks each crevice and ledge, each corner in the dark, and at first, Wilbur thinks he’s just checking for possible intruders.
Then Techno finds him. And then it turns out Technoblade hadn’t been looking for enemies at all.
With the ‘night watches’, Wilbur’s found out, comes a habit of Techno seeking out Wil to go drag him to bed. Each and every night.
Wilbur won’t protest against the added protection, Techno’s excuse of keeping the place secure, but in a way, he does know what his brother is doing. He just doesn’t have the courage to call him out on it.
It’s a little embarrassing, if anything, since Wilbur is the literal fucking president, and he should have some authority here over when and where he goes to bed.
So what if he’s nearly about to pass out up on one of the stone ledges? He’s not going to roll off and die.
Probably.
Either way, Techno falls into that routine, and eventually, he throws away the entire excuse of ‘taking watch’ completely, rather just making a beeline to Wilbur every night so they can go to bed. Eventually, Wilbur starts to sleep, with his brother hogging the blankets and keeping them both safe.
---
Niki brings someone to Pogtopia.
Needless to say, Wilbur isn’t happy about it.
“Get him the fuck out of here.” Wilbur hisses, watching Fundy slowly walk down the stone steps of their base, their base of the rebellion against the literal government that Fundy is a part of.
Fundy seems to shrink back at the words, and he takes a single step back up, but Niki pulls him back down by the sleeve, bringing him down the rest of the way. Wilbur watches them both with a burning glare, walking towards them with a click of his heels against stone.
“He wants to join us.” Niki says, her voice pleading for no conflict.
“He wants to join? Him?” Wilbur lifts his gaze to Fundy, and the man practically cowers behind Niki, who lifts her chin and keeps her shoulders straight. “He’s a traitor.”
“He’s got nowhere to go. Schlatt cast him out.”
“So?” Wilbur responds, frustration and hurt curling up in his heart. Traitors, his mind screams. Traitors, the both of them. He can’t trust Fundy, and now he can’t trust Niki? He had expected for things to go downhill with how calm it’s been going, but this isn’t ideal.
“So we can’t just leave him out there!” Niki turns to Fundy, pulling him forward. Fundy yelps with the sudden yank, and he stumbles before Wilbur, looking like he’s much rather just sink into the floor rather than say a word to the president. “Fundy, tell him.”
“Oh, yes, do tell me.” Wilbur drawls, crossing his arms across his chest. “Is this some sort of trick to let you into our plans? Does Schlatt have you both under his thumb? Is that why you’re here?”
“No-” Fundy shakes his head, opening his mouth to defend himself, but Wilbur goes on.
“I see! So maybe this is a plan you made all on your own, how smart. Surely you’ll win the bastard’s favor by attacking me in the middle of the night-” Wilbur’s words are sharp, but there is no mistaking the shake in his voice. The fear lying underneath. The terror of having someone he thought he could trust bring a danger into their base.
“I’m not going to do that.” Fundy cuts him off, and Wilbur closes his mouth. Fundy continues and goes on to tell of what’s become of l’manburg, what’s become of him, his status amongst the failing leaders.
It’s crumbling. Wilbur feels fear drape over him at hearing that, and he widens his eyes with hearing how entirely mad Schlatt has gotten. He’s grown more snappish, more distrustful. He cast Fundy out without a second glance, and then threw a bottle at his head for good measure.
Niki had found him at the borders, with blood seeping from his hair.
“And I still have this.” Fundy pulls out a small little book, a worn down journal that looks like it’s been crushed far too many times. “It's- I’ve been trying to collect info on the inside ever since I’ve been there. I don’t think it’s much help now, considering how unstable the pres- I mean, Schlatt, has gotten, but.” He holds it out to Wil. “It’s something.”
Wilbur stares at the book. He takes it, and then turns and walks away, not giving a single glance more.
“Fine.” He calls out, his voice echoing out, calm and sounding angry, perfectly masking the way his heart is slamming in his chest, scared and in panic of knowing that everything is slipping away. “He can stay.”
Niki says something to Fundy after that, but Wilbur ignores it, and retreats into his room.
He doesn’t notice Techno sitting on one of the ledges from high up.
---
‘You’re scared.’ Techno chimes in his head one night, and Wilbur opens his eyes to the darkness of his own room, himself having actually gone to bed early for once.
He’d thought it’d help.
‘What?’
‘You’re scared. Or paranoid. It’s kinda translating onto me.’ And I don’t like it, he doesn’t say, but they both hear it anyway.
Wilbur feels slight guilt at that. God, he kinda misses the time where he could just wallow in his emotions without having the risk of someone else suffering for it.
‘Nightmare.’ Wilbur says, even though he hasn’t slept a wink since he laid down. ‘Just a nightmare.’
‘Alright.’ Techno hums, and Wilbur sighs. ‘On my way.’
Wilbur glares up at the ceiling. ‘No. Go away.’
‘What’s that? Go to you? Alright, Mr. President, whatever you say.’
‘I am not saying that.’
‘You’re right. You’re not.’ Techno agrees. Wilbur feels a slight sense of victory. ‘You’re thinking it.’ Techno adds, and there goes the victory, crumpled up into dust.
‘You’re a headache.’ Wilbur says, trying to push all his irritation forward onto Techno, to mask the way he wants to burst into tears and start screaming.
L’manburg is gone. Here is Wilbur mourning the loss of it, so very behind the curve.
Sure, they can take the land back. They can fight Schlatt, strike him down, burn everything he’s ruined. But he’s ruined it all.
They’d have to burn it all to the ground.
Wilbur wants to burn himself with it, for letting all of it get this far. He wants-
A knock sounds out on his door, and Wil groans as a response. Techno comes in.
‘Geez, it’s dark in here.’ Techno doesn’t speak out loud, which Wilbur appreciates. He doesn’t have the energy to force out words at the moment.
‘Yes, I do believe one thing that helps with sleeping is having the room be without any light.’ Wilbur says, with as much sarcasm as he can muster while feeling half-dead.
Techno just snorts. Something fond washes over Wilbur’s shoulders, and he turns on his side, facing away from his brother, wanting to rip away the love and throw it to the ground.
Technoblade just climbs into the bed, right beside Wil.
‘I think something else that helps is company? I’ve read that somewhere.’
Wilbur scoffs. ‘Liar.’
‘Nah, I’ve definitely read that somewhere. Guess I’ll have to stay.’
Wilbur rolls his eyes and expects for Techno to settle in how he usually does, with stealing the blankets and tucking in close at Wilbur’s back, where he can keep them both protected, but he instead just sits still. As if waiting for something to happen.
Wil opens his eyes to the dark. And he feels a quiet hesitant anticipation that is not his own.
‘What did you do?’ Wilbur asks, and there is no longer anything comforting about his brother’s presence behind him. Traitor, his mind gives. He’s a traitor as well.
The fear in his chest rises up stronger than how it had been before.
‘Breathe, Wil.’ Techno reminds, and Wilbur only flares up in anger. He takes a good breath in, and then sits up, turning to Techno and glaring at him through the dark.
“What the fuck did you do?” Wilbur speaks, his throat hoarse. Techno narrows his eyes up at him. “What did you-” He’s hiding something.
Techno’s hiding something- from him.
Wilbur scoots back, and Techno reaches a hand out, Wilbur trying to push it away and move off the bed-
And then he’s yanked down into a hug, a blanket being thrown over both their heads, blocking the rest of the world out.
“I passed by l’manburg earlier.” Techno confesses, and Wilbur stares wide into nothing, his thoughts running rampant. Techno just continues talking, his voice quiet. “Schlatt was there.”
“You talked to him?” Wilbur asks, and now that fear is all over, deep into his skin, his very bones. Traitor, his mind hisses. Fucking traitor.
“He talked to me. He offered me a job.” Techno responds, and he says it in such an uninterested manner that it makes Wilbur slow, for just a second. “Said that if I brought you to him, I’d be paid handsomely, or something.”
Suddenly the arms around Wilbur don’t feel safe.
He looks up at Techno with a plea on the tip of his tongue. Is he going to have to fight Techno? Fuck, he’s trained in battle, but even he knows he doesn’t stand a chance against his brother. Techno’s always been stronger, and not to mention Wilbur doesn’t think he can even raise a hand to him without drowning in guilt. Maybe if he yells, someone will come help. No, but then again, what if they’re all in on it? What if they’ll just watch, letting Techno take him out of this ravine, over to the town that was once his-?
“I shot him in the leg.”
Wait.
Wilbur sputters out a small laugh, but it’s more frantic than amused, really. Techno’s arms squeeze around him like a reminding weight of loyalty. Wilbur doesn’t know how to take it.
“W-what?”
“I shot him in the leg.” He repeats.
Wilbur blinks, mouth opening and closing. “With your crossbow?”
“Yup.”
“Oh.” And there is relief. A quiet, sparse thing. Wilbur latches onto it desperately, and he refuses to let go. He digs his hands into Techno’s shirt, and tries to push all his fears back, pretending that it can all be covered by this little sliver of relief. “Okay. Okay.”
There then. That’s the end of this conversation. He doesn’t want to speak anymore. He doesn’t want Techno to say anything else, lest he ends up admitting that he’s done something worse, and that Wilbur’s trust in him is meant to break.
“Wilbur.” Techno speaks, and Wil gasps in, barely realizing that he hasn’t been breathing at all. A hand rubs at the back of his shoulder.
“Shut up.” Wilbur orders, and he regrets it right after. No, he doesn’t want silence. He doesn’t want to talk, though. He wants Techno to stay by his side, but fuck, he’s not in control of that. He can’t control if Techno decides to betray him. He can’t prevent it. He can’t stop it.
And that terrifies him.
‘It’s okay.’ Techno says, and Wilbur squeezes his eyes shut. ‘I’d much rather stay with you than anyone else, to be honest.’
Oh.
Well that’s-
That’s promising.
‘Really?’ Wilbur can’t help but ask. ‘Even if they offered you all the riches in the world? I know how you like your gold.’
‘You’re far more important to me than gold is, Wilbur.’
There’s too much love that’s given with that thought, and Wilbur wants to both shrink away from it and also sink right into it, take all that is offered. He wants to demand for Techno to promise, to swear on his life, on both of their lives, that he’ll never betray him, but he also wants to just sleep. Have all of this leave his head, just for a few measly hours, at least.
‘I won’t ever betray you.’ Techno promises, as if he’s heard Wilbur’s thoughts. Maybe he has. Wilbur’s mind is running too quickly for him to hold it all back properly.
‘Promise?’ Wilbur asks, and he feels stupid for it, but who will judge? No one can hear. It is only them. ‘Promise me?’
‘I promise.’
And that is that.
Wilbur sleeps, with arms around him, and a humming voice over his head. The fear still sticks, still lingers, but in that moment-
He feels safe.
---
It doesn’t stay.
A few days pass. Techno hovers more than usual, and Wilbur finds himself gaining a habit of trying to hide away from his twin. It’s like a game of hide and seek, Wilbur running around in the ravine, trying to stay out of sight. Except once Wilbur’s found, rather than them swapping places, he’s just dragged to go sleep, or eat, or simply just farm.
Wilbur is not a farmer. Techno seems to beg to differ.
Either way, the time passes slowly. The residents of Pogtopia live in somewhat peace, content in their rooms and the slow expansion into the stone. Tommy and Tubbo have started digging once more, claiming they need more room, because the place is just too small. Niki’s gone to help, and with Niki, goes Fundy.
Wilbur only watches. Techno watches beside him. (Because where Wilbur goes, Techno goes, and gods, this is like an exact repeat of when they were little, isn’t it?)
Wilbur watches and sees them mingle amongst themselves, and he sleeps at night with scattered thoughts, Techno asleep beside him, unaware of the questions plaguing his mind.
Where do they go from this?
Everyone is no doubt expecting him to take action. To take l’manburg back, to fight Schlatt, to free them all. But Wilbur doesn’t know if that’s worth the trouble. He doesn’t know if when they get it back, he’ll even be able to return l’manburg to what it was.
He doesn’t feel like freedom is an option at this point. L’manburg doesn’t feel within reach.
All he sees is a cheap imitation, a false hope that is bound to let everyone down.
What sort of leader would he be, if he were to lead his people into a fate that will only result in bitter defeat?
So Wil makes a choice.
He slips out from the ravine, late at night, with Techno still sleeping in his bed, and everyone still resting in their rooms.
He goes to l’manburg. To a little room dug into the stone, the walls being filled with explosives, old writing carved into the walls.
And he stares at a wooden button, with chat screaming in his ears, and his thoughts burning through his mind.
This is a bad idea.
This is the only option.
This is necessary. It’s bullshit. It’s a perfect solution and a stupid desicion and here, he can make this whole thing, all his mistakes, burn up in flames, but here, he is burning his own creation, his own heart and soul, to the ground.
He’s being an idiot and a fool. He’s never been so alive, at this moment, nothing’s been so clear, and yet he’s still so terrified. His hands won’t stop shaking.
He doesn’t want to do this. A quiet voice in the back of his mind is asking if this even makes sense, but the louder part of him demands for all of it to go, to go up in burning flames. Isn’t this the perfect ending? Isn’t this the only way out?
He needs to do this.
( DON’T DON’T DON’T, chat calls out, begging for him to step away. DO IT, DO IT, they chant, wanting fire and destruction for miles. They’ve always been indecisive in that way. It doesn’t help Wilbur’s thought process at all.)
Wil bites at the inside of his cheek, feeling just too exhausted to even stand. He leans against the wall beside the button and sighs, and then closes his eyes and tries to imagine what would really happen, if he were to press the button at all.
Tommy and Tubbo are safe at pogtopia. That’s good. Niki and Fundy should be with them, along with Eret, if what Fundy had said earlier was true.
Wilbur hadn’t dared to even be near that traitor when they arrived, but Fundy had mentioned them wanting to find refuge in the ravine. And Wilbur couldn’t find the energy to say no.
Something like fury simmers through him for a moment, but just as soon as it came, it leaves, and he’s tired once again. He sighs.
Techno should be at pogtopia. Wilbur’s too hesitant to check, to ask within his mind, to make sure he’s really there, really okay.
He should be safe there. Miles away. Out of range of the blast.
The only one Wilbur is taking down is himself, alongside this imitation of a country that once used to be.
That thought is comforting. Wilbur’s glad for it. He closes his eyes with a sense of calm, and wonders what they’ll rebuild after it’s all done.
He opens his eyes, and looks down at the wall beside him.
And he hits the button.
His knuckles press against it, and he hears the soft sound of a click, which should be joined with a gentle hiss of tnt being set off. He doesn’t hear anything at all when he pulls his hand away, and the lack of noise leaves him in numb wonder for a moment.
He waits.
And then feels a cold rush of something running down his back. It’s like the jagged swipe of a knife on his skin, and Wilbur stumbles back from the wall, his breath hitching in surprise.
He stares at the button, the cursed trigger that stays silent, and as confusion begins to set in, a familiar voice rings in his head.
‘It won’t do anything.’
Wilbur’s eyes go wide. Something like terror unfurls upon his skin, along with a strange sort of relief.
He lifts his head, staring into the stone just above the button. It takes a moment for him to gather any sort of thought.
‘...what?’ He asks, and it is small, hesitant.
‘The button.’ Techno continues, his voice flat, not quite calm. Just- quiet. ‘I messed with the redstone weeks ago. It’s not even connected to the tnt.’
Wilbur swallows, feeling a wave of anger wash past his shoulders. For a second, he’s sure that it’s his, but then it shifts into something more, and he realizes with a jolt that it belongs to Techno.
This is too sharp to be his own anger. It’s not outright rage, or annoyance at having his plan foiled. It’s not a frantic fury with having Techno (again, again, why is he always there-?) getting in his way.
It’s not his. No, it’s- Is this frustration, from Techno?
No. Disappointment? Wilbur wouldn’t be surprised at that.
It’s not that either.
Fuck it all, it doesn’t matter that he can’t name it. Wil is sure of one thing, at least. Techno is fucking pissed, and-
And he knew.
‘What exactly were you hoping for, with that explosion, by the way?’ Techno asks, his voice still flat, still calm. Like this is just a casual conversation, and he is just bored. Just wanting a response from his brother.
Wilbur steps away from the button, something like shame crawling up his throat. He holds a trembling hand to his mouth, as if trying to keep quiet, and Techno persists.
‘Were you thinking I was going to let you die? I know you’re the president and the leader and all of that, but this doesn’t seem like a sound plan.’
‘You knew?’ Wilbur sends out, feeling stuck. Like he’s been frozen in place, his legs half buried in the ground. ‘Who told you?’
‘No one did.’
‘Liar. Who fucking told you?’ Wilbur forces a breath though his lungs, trying to grasp at a semblance of anger. That is better than this- this feeling of shock. He’s useless like this. He needs to move, he needs to know how Techno fucking found out about the tnt, but he can’t- he can’t move past it. Everything feels so frozen in place. Like Wilbur can only watch it all go by.
‘No one did, Wil. I just heard you.’
‘Heard me?’ Wilbur wants to scoff. He hasn’t mentioned the tnt once since Techno’s arrival. It’s always been a plan, at the back of his head, but with Techno always hovering, he never said anything more of it. He didn’t want to, in fear of what his brother might think, might do. ‘When did I-?’
Wilbur pauses.
And there is Techno, always there. Always listening.
Ah, Wilbur thinks. So I was the traitor to myself. That’s not surprising.
‘Wil.’ Techno calls, a hint of amusement coming through. Fuck, Techno heard that. Fuck, Techno’s heard everything.
He’s heard-
Wilbur almost chokes with the realization, absolute horror digging into him.
He’s heard everything.
(And what of the nights, with Wilbur debating if he was doing any good, staying here another day? What of the nights of Wilbur considering that button, considering that tnt, only to have Techno seek him out, over and over and over- it was on purpose. He heard it. Heard it all. Every single word and stray thought of Wilbur wishing to burn his town and burn himself with it, his brother heard it.
No wonder he had been so clingy these past weeks.)
‘I’m sorry.’ Techno apologizes, but he doesn’t mean it. There is not an ounce of sincerity. ‘But I’m not letting you die.’
‘No.’ Wilbur says back, a slight shake of his head even though Techno can’t see it. ‘No, no, you don’t- Techno, listen.’
‘I am listening.’ He has been the whole time, that prick. ‘Although I don’t think anything you say is going to convince me about this entire plan of yours.’
‘You have to understand-’
‘I understand perfectly, Wil.’ Oh gods, there’s the anger again, yeah no he’s fucking pissed as hell.
‘No, you- you don’t. Look, this isn’t-’ Wilbur breathes in deep, trying to gather any argument, anything to make the situation better. ‘I needed to-’ He tries to send his thoughts out purposefully this time, tries to make Techno see all that he’s done, all that he’s caused. The way that everything has just-
‘ No. ’ Techno says, and it is fire, it is burning hot against Wilbur’s mind, and he leans down and falls to the floor with it, covering his ears. ‘You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to kill yourself and convince your head that somehow that would be something you deserve.’
‘You don’t know what I deserve. You don’t fucking know anything.’ Wilbur snaps back, trying to be just as sharp. It falls short, with the way there’s desperation growing at the edges of his mind.
Techno pauses, and for a second, Wilbur wonders if he will be left in silence, allowed to sit in his own swarming thoughts.
‘I’ll know soon enough.’ Techno says, and it’s a horrifying promise. ‘Stay where you are.’
A pang of dread strikes through Wilbur as he realizes what that sentence holds. He lifts his head with a held breath.
Techno knows exactly where he is.
Of course he does, he’s been here, he’s been following Wilbur here, messing with his plans, messing with the tnt.
He’s so fucking insufferable. (And yet, something in Wilbur wants to cry to him and say thank you, over and over and over until his throat is sore.)
Wilbur stumbles to his feet, taking a step back. He struggles to breathe in, glancing around at the walls, the writing all scrawled out across it, the button, still there, now useless.
He can’t stay here.
He can’t be found here, in the remnants of his own failure.
‘Wilbur. Stay where you are.’ Techno warns, like he knows what Wil is thinking, and- of course he knows what Wil is thinking, he’s been listening the whole fucking time. ‘Wil.’
Wilbur takes another step back.
‘Wilbur, if you run, I’m going to follow.’
Wil’s heart jumps with fear, and he goes still.
What is better, he wonders. Staying here, admitting cruel, pathetic defeat? Or running, knowing full well Techno will not let him go?
He can’t run from Techno, really. The more he dwells on it, the more he’s sure of it. During this entire time, he’s been broadcasting his thoughts and intentions like a fucking speaker, and he still doesn’t know how to stop. If he goes, all Techno needs to do is listen, and he’ll be finding him one way or another.
There’s no running. There’s no pushing it all away, no burning it all up to get rid of it all. There’s just his brother, his brother who’s on his way to make sure Wilbur is okay.
For a single second, Wilbur almost wants to go to Techno.
He wants to call for help and beg for his comfort, ask for him to never go.
‘Don’t go.’ Techno is asking, right at the base of his thoughts, and Wilbur shoves his palms into his eyes, trying to keep his burning tears at bay. ‘Just come to me.’
Wil grits his teeth with a pained noise in the back of his throat.
He won’t cry.
He doesn’t cry.
He’s the president. He’s a leader. He started this, and he needs to finish it, and Techno was never a part of it at all. He was never meant to be a part of it. This was a mistake.
This was a mistake.
Wilbur turns and runs, barreling out the pathway of the room, his legs almost giving out on him with the first few steps. He pushes at the stone walls and stumbles over his feet, and slams through the poorly hidden doorway he hadn’t bothered to properly close when he had come in here.
He steps out into the cool air of the night, and he looks up at the stars, all of them so bright, so vast over his head.
And then, there are the consequences of his actions.
Techno is roaring in his ears, demanding for him to stay put, and Wilbur miraculously manages to move, feeling anger and love and worry and an unstoppable sort of determination that could only ever belong to his twin. His eyes burn with tears, and then they flow with them, and his vision has gone blurry. He gasps for air as he runs, and he frantically tries to search through Techno’s own head, trying to figure out just how close he is.
Techno has the fucking nerve to immediately shut him out the second he realizes what Wil is doing.
“Bastard!” Wilbur cries, and he knows Techno’s going to hear that through his thoughts. “You’re- you’re a fucking traitor-”
He promised. He had promised he’d never betray Wil.
“You lied!” Wilbur chokes out, speaking to the night sky and all it’s stars. “You- You lied, you lied!”
Techno does not say anything in return, but there is a persistent worry that keeps weighing on top of Wil, and he can’t manage to shake it off. Techno keeps worrying, he keeps loving him, and Wilbur is tempted to go right to Techno, if only to strangle him and tell him to stop it.
Instead, Wilbur keeps running. He runs right past the country that used to be his, and he goes even further, into the trees, into the wild. He runs until he can’t breath and his legs ache, and he runs and runs until he’s sure he’s alright.
He knows he’s gotten far enough when Techno's panic sears through him, like an electric shock. Wilbur doesn’t even know where he is, and if he’s lost, then Techno’s out of luck. For the moment, at least.
It is only a matter of time.