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Scanlan was a flirt.
He flirted with anyone who was old enough and interested in him.
Okay, yeah, he sometimes had the issue of not recognising when someone was disinterested.
But he feels like he's pretty good at gravitating towards the folk who are interested.
Vax'ildan, however, confused the Gnome.
Vax was also a bit of a flirt, but that was usually only when he was drunk or when he was with the glorious Marquesian shopkeeper they know as Gilmore of Gilmore's Glorious Goods.
Outside of that, though, Vax usually made out his flirtations to be more buddy-funny than genuine.
Though sometimes Vax would flirt with Scanlan, Percy, Grog, Pike or Keyleth and seemed to be doing so genuinely, despite being sober.
Maybe he was, or maybe Scanlan was misreading his quips as sexual and flirty when Vax was aiming for genuine, clean, platonic affection.
Whatever the case was, it drove Scanlan insane.
Vax'ildan was a very pretty person, stuck with an Elven baby face and the most stunning amber-glazed brownish-hazel eyes with gold flecks through them.
He was short for an Elf, though about average height for a Human, and was built lithe-borderline-scrawny.
He was flexible, though, as well as light on his feet and was without question the fastest runner in Vox Machina (and arguably Emon).
His faintly freckled and lack-of-sun pale white skin was adorned with the odd tattoo and a scattering of scars varying in depth and shapes, as well as a few odd moles.
Vax's most noticeable mole is located under the outer corner of his left eye, a feature that is mirrored on Vex's face, and it just begs to be kissed again and again and again by Scanlan.
But the most attractive feature of Vax'ildan, at least as far as Scanlan is concerned, is his dimples when he smiles. They just make the bard's legs turn all wobbly and cause his heart to race dangerously fast.
Vax's long, silken black hair was a thing to envy - He treasured his hair more than material possessions, his ebony locks only fourth to his twin sister, third to his snake son and second to his twins's grizzly bear son.
This is why Vox Machina could discern Vax's mood based on it's condition at any given time, the rogue usually stopping mid battle to fix it if he's in high spirits;
If it's down and completely unkempt, he's at his absolute worst and he definitely shouldn't be left alone, but he shouldn't be interacted with either.
If it's down, but is clean and just unbrushed, he's not doing so hot and could use a kind word or a hug. Maybe he's sick, or he's sad, but you needn't worry too much.
If his hair is down, clean and straightened out then he's in a calm and clear thinking neutral mood - This style is what one should desire when talking contracts and jobs with the young Half-Elf.
If he's got it half up without braids, then he's doing alright but he's not happy - He's more likely to be soft spoken and patient in this hairstyle, not quite being neutral or stoic, either.
If he's got a full but undecorated ponytail going on, then he's aiming for politeness and professionalism. He's not going to be the life of the party in this hairstyle, but he's having a pleasant time.
If it's half up with simple braiding, but not real decoration, then he's in a good mood but he's not about to burst at the seams with overflowing joy.
If it's an undecorated braided ponytail, he's there to have fun and relax, but he's probably going to drink responsibly and keep an eye on everyone else.
If it's a braided ponytail with beads and ribbons through it, however, then he's there to get drunk and have a wild night with his friends.
And when his hair is half up and braided with colourful glass beads, he's feeling great and will probably have some pranks up his sleeve.
But when his hair is half up, braided and decorated to the nines with colourful glass beads, colourful ribbons and flowers?
That is Vax at his happiest, a rare sight to see.
Scanlan adores it when Vax's hair is all done up fancy and his dimples are on display - It's one of the prettiest sights in all of Exandria.
And sometimes Scanlan wanted all of Vax's prettiness all for himself.
Because Scanlan was selfish and greedy and lonely and afraid of never being loved like Vax seems to love Gilmore.
And Vax seemed to love Gilmore with all of his heart, even if Vax wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet.
(Scanlan thinks Vax should take the plunge, he can see how Gilmore loves Vax back and knows Vax deserves that love in bucket loads.)
And Scanlan kind of wanted to take all of that love for himself, but he couldn't do it, not to the boy who would braid flowers into the hair of anyone who asked.
Not to the boy who fed his magic snake belt when it was in snake form, despite it not being alive and therefore not needing food.
Not to the boy who threw himself at enemies and traps to shield his friends from harm's way.
Not to the boy who smiled with the brightness of the sun when he saw his loved ones experience glee.
Not the boy who gets excited when he finds nice jewellery or trinkets for his sister when he's working.
Not the boy who comes to Scanlan when his depression clouds his judgement and he needs a second opinion on the bad thoughts trying to poison him from the inside.
Not the boy who cries for his mother every single night.
Scanlan couldn't do that to his good friend Vax'ildan.
So, Scanlan watches Vax from across the bar as some buff guy with long dark red hair, scarred tan skin and large white tusks approaches his lithe friend.
And he smiles lazily, sipping on some ale as Vax looks up at the man towering over him and grins with a rosy blush and the prettiest dimples on Exandria.
Vax goes all limp-noodle and grabby, a hand on one of the Orcish man's large biceps as he makes himself appear smaller and more delicate to gain the man's trust.
Scanlan has seen Vax do this a handful of times now.
Vax has gotten good at reading people and figuring out what they need or want;
Some people want a docile submissive and some want an aggressive submissive
While some want a cheeky submissive and some want something else entirely that even the self-proclaimed 'sex-pert' Scanlan Shorthalt can't quite determine.
Scanlan has no idea what Vax is actually like in the bedroom, but knowing the late 20-something year old as well as he does?
He wouldn't be surprised if Vax'ildan had the range in the bedroom just like he did when he was fishing.
In this instance, Vax's Orc friend is definitely nibbling on the very attractive bait he's being presented with.
And Scanlan feels a bit peeved at that, as well as jealous beyond hell, but he's glad that his young friend is having fun and getting the attention that he deserves.
When the Orc effortlessly pulls Vax to his feet by merely stepping back while Vax is still clinging to his arm, Scanlan's eyes fixate on the rogue's braided ponytail.
It was adorned with pink, purple and blue glass beads and a blue, pink and white striped satin ribbon has tied the ponytail off and matches with Vax's outfit for the night;
Unlike his usual greyscale aesthetic, Vax wears a loose white button-up with dark pinky-brown trousers and his prized lucky black leather Boots of Haste.
A blue feather, stolen from Vex, is tucked behind Vax's right ear as Vax's dagger-looking Earring of Whisper hangs from his left ear with a subtle warning to not piss the young man off.
And Vax's soft pastel makeup look is a far cry from the usual everyday matte black lipstick and smudged black eyeliner look he usually rocks, but Vax'ildan has been happier recently and has begun experimenting with his makeup and clothes, breaking out into new fashion styles and aesthetics outside of his comfort zone.
He was still shy about parading these new looks in public, but he had been convinced by Vex to try a new look out tonight.
It was clearly working, if the Orc eagerly tugging Vax upstairs told Scanlan anything about it.
With that, Scanlan swallowed down the last of his ale and flagged the bartender down, trying to shut up the voice in his head that demands he just give chase after Vax already.
When Vax is out of sight, Scanlan sighs and rests his face in his hands on the bar.
He so badly wants to just take Vax to bed one time so he can show himself he's being stupid, that Vax was way out of Scanlan's league.
But Vax deserves better and Scanlan wouldn't do a good friend dirty like that - No, not a good friend like Vax.
So instead, Scanlan finishes his last drink and tells Vex he's heading home early because he's exhausted.
If his crushes' mirror twin sees through the lie, she's polite enough to not call him out on it while he is drunk.