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The curtains of the bedroom are open wide despite the cold weather allowing moonlight to stream in through the windows. Between the moonlight and fire light coming from the fireplace the room is actually rather bright.
And in the late night silence Cale can hear the quiet crackeling of the fire as well as the distant yet familiar sounds the Forest of Darkness.
It has been quite some time since the last time Cale was able to hear these sounds. He is only able to hear them now because they had moved the black castle belonging to Raon and his mother to its new location earlier in the day.
And now after the chaos of the last two weeks he is laying in bed staring blankly into space.
The steady silver light of the moon is a sharp contrast with the way that the flickering orange light of the fire dances with the dark shadows all around him.
If Cale were inclined to such thinking the sight might remind him a bit of the children sleeping in the bed with him.
Perhaps it does on some subconscious level, because after awhile his eyes turn to watch the children sleeping around him.
Raon , On, and Hong. All three of the children have been sleeping soundly for quite sometime now.
Cale is the only one left awake. Unfortunately, the sight that would usually bring him peace doesn’t do so tonight.
It’s because Cale can’t help remember that these children were all being clingier than usual as they settled in earlier. Even On is practically sleeping on top of him tonight.
In hindsight, It’s something he should have expected. These past few days have been traumatic for all of them.
Raon had found his mother and learned about how his egg and his sibling’s had been stolen by the White Star. While On and Hong had been forced to face their former tribe for the first time since their escape. Not to mention there had been the second fight with the White Star and his forces. As well as the matter of the upcoming battle in the empire. And Raon had probably already told both of the kittens about the note he had received from god of death through Cage by now.
It was a lot to dump on children averaging only nine years old all in just a few days. The proceeding weeks hadn’t been easy for them either.
They probably haven’t had a chance to process everything properly yet. Cale certainly hasn’t.
Its only been about two weeks since the day he woke up after that first fight with the white Star. But there has been so much going on in the time since then that Cale has barely had time to think.
Those few days of rest in the Mercenary King’s village after earning the Sound of the Wind’s top whip seems so very long ago to him.
So much has happened since then.
Finding out about the White Star’s past, meeting Raon’s mother, reading Choi Jung Gun’s memoir. Planning the upcoming battle in the empire. There was also the plan to trick the White Star and take the second earth attribute power first. Then there was the note from god of death. And arranging for Choi Han to get the fake dragon slayer powers.
He still has to figure out how to best handle the situation with the dragon half blood….
Cale feels mentally exhausted just thinking about all of it. And It doesn’t help that he had overused Record so much to read the mercenary guild directory during the past week either.
That is definitely a big part of why the last week and a half feels so impossibly long to Cale. How could it not be? Especially since it had been so long since he needed to use Record like that.
That is why it was strange going back to the feeling that came with absorbing so much information in a short time. The way it distorts a his perception of time in a way that is difficult to describe for someone who hasn’t experience it. Like fitting many months worth of thoughts into a matter of days.
And this, this is the first time he has properly had to himself since the day they entered the mercenary guild’s archives.
That’s why, unlike the children, Cale isn’t sleeping. Instead he is just relaxing in bed with the children snuggled in around him.
He doesn’t need sleep, he has the vitality of heart, and he had rested long enough after receiving that note from Cage in any event.
What he he needed more than sleep is a chance to organize his mind and process recent events.
Unfortunately, with the way everything has been going lately, nights like this are probably the only time he is going to have to do that for awhile.
In hindsight it’s probably good for him that the cat tribe had shown up at the Castle of Light when they had. Otherwise he might be trying to sort out nearly a thousand years worth someone else memories on top of everything else.
It is a bitter realization to have. Because while it may have been better for him in the long run, Cale knows that the situation had been hard for On and Hong.
Cale eyes are drawn back to the sleeping children at the thought as he strokes the sleeping Hong’s red fur.
He remembers the way the kittens had acted when the cats had shown up at the castle. The way Hong had been shaking after Ron had killed the cat who had tried to kill him. That really had been too close. Just thinking about that moment makes Cale feel angry.
A ‘thousand years of dragon memories’ induced headache would have been much better than having to see the children like that.
It really is a dangerous line of thought.
It makes Cale remember other things. Like the way Raon had cried and clung to him when they learned about his sibling and the way On and Hong had huddled together in the face of cruel words and the threat of attack by their former tribe.
In a way Raon’s reactions were not unexpected given the circumstances. However, Cale had never seen On or Hong acting like that before.
It makes him angry.
He truly wants to destroy everyone who has hurt these children. He wants it like he had wanted to destroy all those monsters back when he was still Kim Rok Soo.
Maybe it’s because these three are the first people who have ever truly been his to protect. Or because he is responsible for them in a way that he has never been responsible for anyone or anything else before in his life.
It’s definitely different than his relationship with Lock and his siblings, whom he has agreed to support and provide for. Probably because unlike with the wolves, where the responsibility is divided between himself and others, Cale alone had accepted the full responsibility when he took these three children in.
That’s why, more than anyone else he has ever considered to be his family, Raon On and Hong are his. These three children are his.
They are his, and they’d all been hurt.
Cale pulls Raon and Hong a little closer to his sides as he thinks about that. They are still laying where they had fallen to sleep earlier. One on either side of him. Hong to his left and Raon to his right. Neither of the boys stir.
Cale feels relieved to see that they both seem to be sleeping so peacefully.
Technically speaking Cale had already known that Raon would probably sleep well tonight. After using so much mana earlier to move the castle, it would be strange if that were not the case.
Though it wouldn’t be surprising if he were to have a nightmare or two at some point in the next few days.
It’s the kittens who have him more concerned at the moment.
Hong had understandably been especially shaken up after the fight. And tonight he had been even clingier than Raon before he had finally fallen asleep.
On the other hand, On had seemed more withdrawn than usual.
Not physically withdrawan, even she had been a bit clinger than usual , but she was too quiet. She didn’t speak up as much as she usually would. But more alarmingly, after they had settled into bed she left the job of comforting Hong and Raon almost entirely to Cale. She had just quietly hovered close enough to maintain physical contact until she had fallen asleep.
At the time Cale had suspected that she was just too emotionally drained to act as she usually would.
Cale turns his attention toward where On is sleeping. She is on his left with Hong but she had ultimately settled in on the opposite side of his arm and higher up in the bed. Her silver fur seems to glow in the moonlight.
Cale had let it be earlier and given the boys the extra attention, but thinking back on her actions now has him concerned.
The shadows continues to dance around he the room as Cale focuses on On’s sleeping face.
Maybe it’s because he is half expecting something like this but Cale notices right away that she isn’t resting well.
Unlike her brother who twitches and moves around when he dreams or Raon who tends to curl in on himself while he trembles or flinches. On tends to go completely still whenever she has a bad dream. She tenses up just like she is doing right now.
Cale starts to frown. It’s always hardest to catch when something is going on with her unless you pay attention.
Sure enough a few breaths later, before Cale even has time to properly react to his realization, On suddenly jerks awake.
He can hear her breathing quickly as she wakes up. He watches as she looks around for Hong frantically before sighing in relief once she catches sight of her brother curled up beside Cale. She then turns her eyes towards Cale’s face.
On flinches as her eyes meet his and she realizes that Cale is awake.
She offers him a weak smile and Cale knows that if he lets her she will just play off the situation like nothing is wrong.
Cale already knows that On probably doesn’t want to talk about whatever dream woke her. Not that there is any need to explain it given recent events. Cale already has a pretty good idea of what it was probably about anyway.
He has noticed it before but, On really is more like him than either Raon or Hong when it comes to things like this.
It’s not surprising when he thinks about it. They were both people who’ve decided to run and hide in the past. Granted, On had also made the decision to take responsibility for Hong so her decision came from a different place than a his own had.
Still, Cale knows all to well what has to happen in a child’s mind for them to reach that point.
It upsets him to think about how those thoughts are still living somewhere in the back of this little girls mind.
Cale forces the frown away from his face as he reaches over and strokes On’s head. Before gently lifting her up and moving her so that she is laying on his chest .
Her golden eyes widen with surprise. Usually this is something that he tends to do with Raon.
She is stiff at first but Cale strokes her fur gently and she soon starts to relax.
“On, You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But remember we are here if you change your mind.”
On doesn’t cry at the whispered words, but her eyes tear up a bit before she turns her face away after nodding in acknowledgment.
She stares silently out the open window at the silver moonlight she resembles.
Cale let’s her and just continues to pet her shining fur until she fall back to sleep again.
He keeps petting her until his mind is calm and the fire has died down to embers. And when even the dancing of the shadows has settled into a stillness that mirrors the light of the moon Cale finally sleeps as well.