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You had thought that traveling with the Doctor that nothing would surprise you anymore. You had seen Daleks, Cybermen, and so much more. But you were a little curious and slightly suspicious when she would not tell you what adventure you two would take today.
“So, where are we going?” You tried asking the Doctor again and following her around the console hoping she would crack and give in and tell you what she had planned.
She refused to give you the slightest hint of where she was taking you, she was determined to keep this a secret and a surprise for you. You were not going to lie; you were extremely excited. Usually, when the Doctor had a surprise trip planned, they would go very smoothly with nothing trying to kill the both of you, just a relaxing time with your favourite time-traveling alien.
The Doctor in reply to your question just threw you a very warm-looking winter jacket. “You’ll see.”
She had a large grin on her face, and she pulled the lever down on the Tardis to land her and she grabbed your hand in hers pulling you along to the time machine's front doors. The Doctor gestured for you to open the doors, her eyes shining as bright as the stars she showed you in space, and how could you say no. You pushed the doors open and gasped at the chilly air that snuck through and brushed against your cheek, and then came the blinding white light. You closed your eyes to avoid the burn, and you brought your hand up to try to block the brightness out as you blinked your eyes open again to adjust to the brightness, and then you gasped at what you saw outside the Tardis.
Everything was white! It looked like Narnia outside the box; trees reaching as high as can be and covered in snow, the sky a beautiful blue with the occasional flurry cloud, and the ground was instead a thick layer of ice so clear you could see your reflection in it.
“Where are we?” You asked the Doctor, your voice full of wonder.
The Doctor took your hand again and led you outside. You gasped when your feet started slipping underneath you almost sending you falling onto your back. The Doctor made sure to catch you before you could accidentally hit your head and held on to you until you were both confident that you would not slip and fall.
“This,” she gestured to the snowy area around you. “This is Yukhon, the planet not like the Yukon Territory in Canada. Although maybe we should visit one day, I hear it's lovely this time of year. Yukhon is 100% covered in ice all year round, everywhere. People who come to visit this place have said it is the perfect planet to come skating on. I’ve been meaning to check it out and I thought who better to come with me, so, I thought you would like to have a relaxing skating day!”
“It’s safe?” you asked. You trusted the Doctor when she brought you places, you just hoped that nothing bad happened while you two were here.
She nodded. “The ice itself is super thick, and the water underneath is below freezing so any break or crack gets frozen over immediately, and a few different aliens have made their home here and aren’t threatening or dangerous. So?”
She looked at you with hopeful hazel eyes, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face. “Well, I guess we should go get some skates.”
You didn’t think the Doctors eyes could brighten anymore than they already do, but at this moment they were almost brighter than any star you had seen. She pulled you back onto the solid, non-slippery, ground of the Tardis and you had laughed as you were sliding the entire time back, and she rushed down one of the hallways while you hung back in the console room brushing off the snow at the bottom of your shoes. It would not help your relationship with the time machine if you tracked snow and water everywhere. The Tardis herself made some beeps and blips at you as if wishing you a fun time outside and to be careful. You smiled at the ship's concern and gently reassured her you would be okay. The Doctor came bounding back into the console room holding two pairs of skates in her arms.
“Just had those on hand, did you?” you teased her as she handed you the skates.
The Doctor grinned and you took the offered footwear. You noticed that they had guards on the blades, so you just sat on the steps and switched out your shoes, the Tardis made concerning beeps at you and you smiled as you tied the laces.
“I won’t scratch up the floor, don’t worry!” you told her.
The Doctor held out her hand after she had put her own skates on, and you took it gratefully. She led you out the doors and you shivered in excitement You couldn’t begin to explain how excited were; skating in a rink or on a frozen lake is one thing, but this was on an alien planet! You made sure to take the guards off before you and the Doctor went outside. You gasped when she suddenly pulled you back out the Tardis and onto the icy surface. You slipped a little at first, but as always, the Doctor was there to catch and steady you.
You laughed. The ice under your feet felt unbelievably smooth like a Zamboni had run over it. There were no cracks, holes, or bumps, even as you looked behind at the trail you left behind as you moved it was clear. You were brought out of your head by the Doctor sliding up beside you, her grin never faltering, and you smiled to match it.
“So?” she started to say. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful,” you breathed watching your breath as you spoke.
You didn’t think the Doctor’s smile could get any bigger. “There’s a little marketplace down the way, we should take a look.”
You nodded. “Lead the way!”
The Doctor looped her arm through yours and you both glided towards the market, your feet moving in unison, so you didn’t tumble into one another and crash. You watched the trees and surroundings pass in a blur and then you moved your attention to the woman next to you. Her gaze was focused in front of the two of you, the wind blowing her golden hair over her shoulder, and her arm felt pleasantly warm through yours, you only wished you could hold her hand in yours. Shaking the thought from your mind you noticed that the market the Doctor had mentioned was coming into view. The market was placed in a large opening away from all the trees and snow piles, the area looking as if it would have been placed in the middle of a lake, there were stalls lined up and people slid to and from all over the place.
“Wow,” you commented.
The Doctor led you down the makeshift aisle and you eagerly looked at all the items that were on display, ranging from foods to clothing items and various kinds of gadgets. You let the Doctor go to take a closer look at some of the gloves and scarves that were being sold, the Doctor going to another stall not too far away. You weren’t worried about getting separated from the Doctor, she said it was safe here, so what did you really have to worry about besides maybe falling and bruising your arm or leg.
“It’s beautiful, the stitching is amazing,” you said to the seller about the gloves.
The woman behind the stall motioned for you to pick them up and your eyes widened at how soft they were. “All are handmade and designed to always keep your hands warm at all times, interested?” She asked you.
You politely refused and placed the item back where they were. “No thank you, I didn’t bring any money and I have these,” you lifted your hands to show off the gloves you had found in your jacket's pocket. “But thank you anyway!”
The lady nodded her head and you bid her farewell before going back to find the Doctor. You found it much more difficult to avoid bumping into people with skates on, some of them wore spikes on their shoes, and others wore blades as you did, and you had to repeatedly apologize to anyone you bumped or crashed into. A sigh of frustration passed your lips into the crisp air, your breath coming out as a slight fog in front of you. How could one person whose one major rule be: don’t wander off, but most of the time it’s the Doctor who disappears in a wander and breaks her own rule? Unbelievable. You sighed again and continued gliding down the market in search of familiar golden hair and a long blue coat. A harsh shove against your shoulder sent you flying across the ice and away from the mass of people, you groaned when you finally managed to get yourself from sliding any farther away.
A loud noise stopped you from trying to stand back up to continue your search for the Doctor, it almost sounded like a high-pitched laser; a sound that gave away how thin the ice was under your hands. You gasped in shock when a crack formed under your palms, the laser noise following its path, scarring the ice, and you slowly stood on shaky legs. You had to get out of here. Finally getting back on your feet you moved to get away from the crack, but a piece broke off when you put your weight on one foot and you almost crumpled back to the ground. A bit of the ice had broken off and it had caught the blade of your skate in its grasp as if it were trying to keep you there.
“Oh, no, no, no,” you mumbled to yourself.
Every shift in your weight cause chunks of ice to crumble and break and fall into the dark abyss below you. You didn’t want to fall in, you wanted the Doctor to come and help you and hold you in her embrace as she reassured you that you were safe and okay. You glanced back up to the mass of people that would occasionally look in your direction but would turn their heads the other way and continue with their day.
“Doctor?!” you shouted for her; your voice trembled in fear.
The Doctor was still in the market when she heard your cry. She had been looking all over for you. Her number one rule was “don’t wander off,” so where had you gone? When she heard you, she paused; you sounded panicked, scared. Frantically looking around trying to find you, she could spot glances of you through the locals, and she could see you far out onto the ice. She pushed her way through the crowd, and the closer she got the more she could see the ever-growing cracks around you.
“Don’t move!!” the Doctor shouted when she got close.
She stopped a few feet away. Close, but not close enough. Her eyes were wide in terror which surprised you a little. The Doctor was always so good at hiding her fears from you, sometimes you’d really have to pry at how she was feeling. But this? This was out in the open, unconcealed fear that she felt, and you could see it. You watched as she took a step towards you and the ice cracked underneath her foot, almost looking like a spiderweb.
You held out your hands to stop her. “Wait, wait, wait! S-stop! It won’t hold the both of us.” you yelled.
The Doctor stopped before she could take another step to you. She knew you were right; the ice was too thin to support both of you on it.
“I’m not just going to leave you there!” she protested.
"Well,” you started to say but gasped when more cracks formed and broke around you. “T-think of something else that won’t cause us both to fall.”
Okay, okay,” she said, her face twisting in thought. “Okay!” She snapped her fingers. “I’m going to go back to the Tardis to throw you a line and pull you back to me. Don’t go anywhere!”
Determination took over the look of fear in the Doctors eyes, but you could still see it just hiding under the surface. She was scared for you. You were scared too, but you would try to be brave until she came back.
“Not like I can anyway,” you mumbled to yourself as you watched her grow smaller in the distance.
The minutes that the Doctor was gone felt like hours, your only company being the laser-like sounds of the ice breaking under pressure. You really hoped she came back soon; you didn’t want to think of how much longer you had left stood in one place until the ice completely opened under you to swallow you whole. After a few more seconds of waiting, you gasped when your leg suddenly broke through the ice.
Spoke too soon
You dropped to your knee, and the impact caused huge angry breaks and you could hear it hitting water under the surface. The ice then shattered completely, and you started to fall in, you managed to catch your arms on the edge that still held strong, and you struggled to stay holding on to it.
“Doctor!!” you shrieked.
The drop below was quite deep, deep enough where if you fell in, climbing out would be impossible and who knew how deep that water was. It was getting increasingly difficult to stay hanging on the edge, there was really nothing for you to grab on to, so you had to rely on using your upper body strength to keep you up enough for the Doctor to hurry back. You were shocked that while this was all happening the locals still didn’t even acknowledge that you were in trouble and that you needed help, they just kept their heads turned the other way like they didn’t care.
You were pulled from your thoughts by more cracking, and you watched in horror as the ice slowly continued to break along the edges, around where you were holding on, and then you felt yourself fall. You screamed. There was nothing else to grab on to, it was hopeless. You just prayed that the drop isn’t as deep as you thought. A gasp of shock and surprise left your lips when you felt the freezing waters touch your skin, and then you were fully submerged. Thankfully, the water wasn’t as deep as it seemed. You only fell a few feet before having your head dunked underwater, stealing the air from your lung at how cold it really was. Standing up you coughed and choked, the water coming up to just below your chest, and you shivered. The water was so cold, colder than any pool, lake, or ocean you’ve been in, and you remember the Doctor saying it was below freezing down here.
You jumped when you heard loud sounds above you, and your heart dropped when you saw that the ice was already reforming itself above you. A pillar of water rose beside you to mend the cracks, and then you were left with a dim blue light to see, and you were alone. You were separated from the Doctor with no idea on how to get back to her.
“Doctor!” you shouted as loud as you could.
It was no use though, the ice had stolen your cry and made sure no one would hear it. You felt your heart skip a few beats in dread when you came to the realization that you were absolutely trapped. You reached an arm up over your head and your fingers could barely touch the frozen barrier above you, it felt solid and no matter how hard you tried to push against it or hit it, it refused to even dent.
“No, no, no,” you whispered.
This wasn’t supposed to happen, it was supposed to be safe, the Doctor said it was safe! No, you shook yourself from that thought, there was no way she was supposed to know that it would break like that, she couldn’t. You looked around your surroundings and saw only the still water that rippled with your movements and the black void that hung around in the distance, threatening to move closer and closer as the sun started to set.
Your breath caught in your throat. How were you supposed to get back up top, there was nothing around to climb and nothing to use to chip the ice away so the Doctor could find you. You debated the options of taking your skates off to do so, but you didn’t want to leave your feet fully exposed to the water, and you thought about swimming the water pillars when they came but who knew when another hole would be made. There was nothing. You thought about moving, but the idea of leaving your last known location that the Doctor saw you in… you couldn’t. If you did move, she might be able to find you again, but you were getting so cold. You could feel the freezing waters soak your socks and feet leaving them to numb, and that numbness feeling inched its way up to your leg, but it didn’t stop there. It continued up and up until your arms started to tingle and made its home under your skin and into your bones.
“Please,” you said to no one in particular. “Please, Doctor, find me.”
~~~
The Doctor stood in when she got back to where you were supposed to be but found only the icy smooth surface instead as if you were never there in the first place. Her hearts ached in fear knowing that you had fallen, and there was no way for her to get to you. She thought back to when the Earth took Amy back in her 11th body. She had to find you; she wouldn’t lose you… she couldn’t. She dropped the rope and ran back to the market, she was glad she put her shoes back on with some spikes so she could move easier. She desperately hoped that someone could help her, someone that knew how to break the barrier
between you and her.
“You alright there, love?” one woman asked her after noticing her frantic state.
“My-my friend,” the Doctor stuttered. “They fell through the ice.”
The woman’s face turned sympathetic. “That is truly upsetting to hear, dear, I’m sorry for your loss.”
The Doctor was taken aback by how easy the woman reacted as if this had happened many times. “Well, do you have anything to breakthrough? I need to get to them!”
She shook her head. “Anything we had in the beginning when we all came here was taken by the ice, and anyone taken by it has never been recovered.”
The Doctor refused to accept that. “There has to be a way!”
She wouldn’t just let you freeze to death alone down there, not while she was still breathing.
The woman shrugged. “Anything you can think of has most likely been attempted already, sorry, dear.”
~~~
You were getting so cold. You didn’t know how long you were trapped; the sun had started to set, and you were slowly getting left alone in the dark. It was getting harder to see in front of you, and your wet clothes clung uncomfortably to your body and started to freeze to your skin. Frost crawled up your body causing your trembles and shakes to worsen. You started to move your legs and walk around in circles, trying to create enough friction in your legs to keep yourself warm, and your hands were rubbing up and down your icy arms. Your breath still forms that visible cloud with every shivering gasp and pant.
You were startled when the ice wall above you suddenly shattered and crumbled around you. Sharp edges cut into the bare skin of your arms; your coat having been long discarded. You don’t even remember where or how long ago you took it off. Blood trickled down your arm and you hissed at the freezing air hitting the open wound.
The sky above you was bright, was it daylight? No, you could see the vast darkness that crept the edges of the light. Familiar golden hair peeked over the edge. Familiar where though, you thought. You watched the golden-haired woman’s mouth form your name, was it your name, but no sound reached your ears. You felt relieved, your body lost all tension in your limbs, and your legs buckled under your weight sending you falling back into the water for a second time. It was as if your body was telling you that it was okay, that you didn’t need to keep fighting, you were safe now.
You felt arms wrap around you and a voice you could slightly recognize. “I got you. You’re going to be okay.”
You felt safe in this person’s arms. You couldn’t exactly remember who it is that pulled you from below the ice, it hurt too much to think, but you knew that you trusted them. Your eyes closed and you let yourself fall back into the black void that crept the corners of your vision and you fell limp in your saviour’s arms.
When the Doctor pulled you out of the large hole she managed to create with the Tardis, she noticed you weren’t wearing the winter coat she had given you to wear and the skin on your arms were turning wax like, one of the signs of frostbite. She needed to get you inside as soon as possible. So, she shrugged off her light blue coat and carefully put it on you and making sure all the exposed skin was at least covered until she could get you back to the Tardis. She even unwrapped the scarf she had around her neck and shoulders and wrapped it around your own to cover your face. It would have to do for now, she thought. She gently lifted you up into her arms, trying to make her touch as light as possible as to not accidentally send you into shock, and moved as fast as she could back to the Tardis. When she got the both of you back in, she could hear the Tardis make some hums and beeps in concern when the Doctor rushed her through the console room and down the hall to get you to the med bay.
You weren’t sure how long you were unconscious for, but you were suddenly woken by something touching you around your legs. The touch hurt, it burned, and you squirmed and arched to try to get away from the fire that burned your skin.
“Hey, hey, hey!” the fire was back on you. “It’s okay, it’s me! It’s the Doctor.”
You stopped struggling and your vision cleared to show the Doctor was beside you, and her hands were holding your shoulders down, not enough to cause you harm, but her touch burned, and you couldn’t help the whimper of pain that passed your lips.
“Okay, okay,” the Doctor whispered. “We have to take these off you.”
You noticed she had been working on the laces to your skates while you were unconscious, you were glad you didn’t manage to kick her. She tugged at the top of the shoe, and you flinched your leg away in pain, it felt like she was trying to pull your skin off.
“N-no, don’t” you tried to tell her.
“I’m sorry,” you could see the sincerity in her eyes from her words.
You screamed and flailed when she pulled the skates off your feet. It hurt so much.
Please stop, please stop, please stop!
The blackness danced in the corners of your vision as the white-hot burn spread though your nerves. You felt like every part of you was on fire.
You whined and hissed in pain when you felt her hands moved you to sit up on the bed you were laying on, and to the jacket you had on. That’s funny, you don’t remember wearing the Doctors coat. Her touch pulled you out of your thoughts and you hissed again. Her hands felt like someone was pressing a burning hot pan to your skin, and she hadn’t even taken off your clothes yet.
“I know, shh,” she told you. She removed moved as slow as she could and slipped her coat off your shoulders and down your arms, apologizing with every cry that she heard from you.
Luckily, the Doctors coat wasn’t soaked too terribly from being on you, so it was the easiest piece of clothing to remove from your freezing body, but it felt like sharp knives being dragged down your arms and back.
“H-hurts,” you slurred, your entire body convulsing in shivers and shakes. “S-s-stop, please.”
The Doctor felt her hearts break at your words, the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt you, but she needed to get you out of your frozen clothes and get you warm as fast and carefully as she could without putting you into shock and killing you. She stared at the rest of your clothes in thought on how to remove them without dragging it across your skin.
“I’m going to have to cut these off of you,” she said.
You could barely hear what the Doctor had said, it hurt too much to think, it sounded like she was talking to you through water and your head was the one being under, her voice sounded so far away but she was standing right in front of you.
“W-what?” you asked her
She didn’t reply to you and started digging through her bigger on the inside pockets, muttering to herself. “Oh, where are they?”
“Found them!” she exclaimed, pulling out a pair of scissors.
She quickly went to cut away your shirt, and your pants thankfully not pulling them off yet. You shivered more when you felt the air on your exposed skin.
“’S cold,” you complained.
“I know,” the Doctor told you, cupping your face in her hands and running her thumb gently over your crystalized cheeks. “I’m going to get you warm, okay? I promise you’ll feel better soon.”
You hummed under her hands; eyes fluttering shut at the contact and the warmth that radiated from her hold, nothing like the fire that it was moments ago. It was nice, comforting even, you were just so tired.
“No, no,” she suddenly said, tapping her fingers gently on your cheeks making you jump in surprise and blink at her. “You can’t fall asleep just yet. Your body temperature is still dangerously low. Stay awake for me, yeah?”
You whined in protest at first, you were so tired, and the Doctor was so warm. It would be so easy to just sink into her embrace and just let the black in your vision take you away again, take you somewhere it would stop hurting and you wouldn’t be cold anymore
“Hey, hey!”
Your eyes snapped open again, when did you close them? Where were you? Your vision cleared of the blurriness that covered your sight and you saw the Doctor again; she was still holding your face in her hands. Her eyes were narrowed in concern
“I need you to stay awake just a little bit longer, okay? Focus on me,” she told you and you nodded. She let go of your face and grabbed where she had made a cut into your shirt and made sure to keep eye contact with you. “Are you ready?”
“F-f-f-for?” you asked nervously.
She gave you a reassuring look. “The fabric is hurting your skin, right?” you nodded. “So, I have to get this off quicky so we can get you in warmer dry clothes.”
“N-no,” you whined, trying to pull away from her hands.
You wanted to feel her warm hands, her comforting hands. Not the hands that you knew was going to cause you pain again.
“Hey,” she whispered, getting you to stop struggling from her. “I’ll make it fast; do you trust me?”
You thought for a minute. Did you trust her? Of course, you trusted her! She’s saved your life countless times; you’d always trust her. So, you nodded your head.
She smiled. “Good, now deep breath and I’ll be quick.” You did as you were told, shakily taking in a deep breath into your lungs. “Okay, on the count of 3, ready?” a nod. “Alright, 1!” and she threw off the rest of your clothes.
A scream ripped itself from your throat. Your clothes were frozen all the way through, so when the Doctor took them off it felt like she was ripping it off your skin. Where the hell was 3?!
“Sorry,” the Doctor apologized. “I’m so sorry. Almost done.” She placed a kiss on your forehead and then quickly grabbed some clothes that you didn’t notice were in the room with the both of you.
“Okay, last thing I promise.”
The clothes she had were pajamas it looked like. The shirt was a nice button up, so she didn’t have to have your arms above your head and the pants were loose and warm looking. She helped you put the warm clothes on, and you couldn’t help the few tears that trailed down your cheeks. You just wanted the pain to stop. The Doctor finished the last button and wiped away your tears with a gentle caress, whispering comforting things that you couldn’t quite hear as she threw a fluffy blanket over your shoulders. When did she get that?
“I’m going to pick you up now, okay?” the Doctor told you. “We’ll get you in a bed and you can get all roasty toasty like a human should be, and after you can sleep, yeah?”
“S-s-s-sounds g-good,” you replied, clutching the blanket tight to your body and trying to absorb all the warmth you needed to survive.
The Doctor placed her arms under your knees and your shoulders and stood up with you safely in her arms. You felt a sense of déjà vu in this position, but instead of dwelling on it you gave a sigh. Your breath still came out in breathless gasps, but it wasn’t as bad as when you first regained consciousness, and you tucked your head into the Doctors neck and giving another sigh at the warmth that surrounded you.
“S-so warm,” you slurred tiredly, eyes threatening to shut again.
You felt her tap you on your leg and you looked up at her. “No sleeping on me, remember? Just stay awake a little longer.”
You groaned at her words, but obeyed, and blinked your eyes open again.
“W-where are we g-going?” you asked, teeth still chattering together.
“We are going to your room where you’ll be in your bed so your body temperature can get back up to normal, and then rest for you,” she answered.
You nodded and settled yourself back into her embrace. You watched the hallways and many room pass by before you got bored, instead deciding to look at the Doctor. She didn’t have her coat on, you were surprised she didn’t wear it after she took it off you, you guess that your life in this moment was more important than her wearing her signature outfit. Her hair bounced and would move over her shoulder with every step she took.
You didn’t even notice you were in your room until the Doctor had put you down and covered you with the blankets. You whined when you felt the Doctors warmth leave you, and the cold started to crawl its way back into your body. The Doctor shushed and started to pile many blankets on top of you.
“Okay,” she smoothed out the last blanket she put on top of you. “How are you feeling?”
You could only shiver and groan in response. The cold simply refused to let you go, it had you in its icy grasp and would not release you without a fight. It settled itself into the very fiber of your existence and made its home there. You whined when you heard the familiar high-pitched whirring of the Doctors sonic as she moved it over you and reading the results it gave.
“Alright,” she sighed in relief. “Your vitals are returning to normal, a little bit more and you’ll be okay to sleep, so you rest and get your strength back and I’ll be right back.”
“S-s-stay,” you said before the Doctor had the chance to leave you alone, you didn’t want to be alone. You uncovered your arm from under the blanket and reached for her. “P-please.”
The Doctor paused, looking as if she was thinking it over. She would be able to help you more if she stayed, body heat was highly important with those dealing with hypothermia, you would get better faster if she shared her body heat with you and it would be better than to give you something warm to drink right now. No, no, no, that’d kill you. You obviously needed her close because she was warm. Yes, that was it, nothing more nothing less, and she was close enough in temperature for humans so it wouldn’t harm you. So, she kicked off her boots and shrugging off her suspenders and climbed under the covers with you, pulling you in to her embrace. She could feel how bad you were shivering in her arms and tightened her hold around, so you could start taking her warmth and as a reassurance for the Doctor that you were okay, she wasn’t too late. She heard you sigh, your breath coming out in shaking pants against her neck. The Doctor adjusted you so were pulled flush against her, your head tucked under her chin.
“I’m so sorry,” she suddenly whispered.
“F-for what-t?” you asked, voice muffled by her shirt.
“Nothing, never mind, it’s not important right now. Go to sleep now,” the Doctor told you, her fingers leaving tails of different patterns on your back.
You tried to stay awake, you wanted to keep talking to the Doctor, but your exhaustion caught up with you. The Doctors hand ran up and down your back, continuously drawing those wonderful patterns that you couldn’t quite guess as to what they were, and she was just so warm. The Doctor kept the motions up until she could hear your breath deepen and lose its shivering exhales.
She stayed with you through most of the night. She couldn’t bring herself to leave you alone, she had to make sure you were okay. She could see your skin gain back it’s normal colour and you started to feel much warmer than you had when she first brought you here, and she let out a sigh in relief. She let herself fully relax, sinking into the pillows under her head and loosened her arms around you to give you some wiggle room, but you whined at the loss of heat and nuzzled closer into the Doctor. She couldn’t help the smile that lifted on her lips, and she held you tight against her again hearing your soft sigh before settling. The two of you stayed like this, and the Doctor stayed awake the entire time as you slept peacefully in her arms, until she noticed that your bedroom had started to get lighter; Tardis making it seem like a rising sun, a warm glow over your body as if helping get rid of any of the left over cold that stayed with you.
The Doctor hadn’t even realized that she had stayed up all night watching over you. It was a good thing that she didn’t need very much sleep like humans do. You still slept soundly next to the Doctor looking much better already. Your skin had an angry red tint to it, but she could see no more signs of frostbite or hypothermia left thanks to the equipment in the med-bay. The Doctor slid out of your bed and quietly left your room to let you sleep more and to clean up the ruined clothes that you had been wearing before, and maybe make you a warm cup of tea. Her hearts broke when she saw the clothes she had to cut off you still discarded on the floor, memories of your screams and crying ran through her mind over and over again threatening to haunt her for the rest of her days. She shook her to get rid of the thought and picked up the ruined clothing to throw them away making a mental note to replace them soon. When the Doctor was finished, she wandered into the kitchen to see that the Tardis had made her a cup of her favourite tea that was waiting for her on the counter. With a grateful thank you, the Doctor sat holding the drink in her hand, and your cries came back to mind. The Tardis hummed in concern down at her Pilot.
“I’m fine,” the Doctor told the time machine.
The Tardis didn’t believe her, of course. She travelled with the Doctor for far too long to not be aware of when the Doctor wasn’t okay. She hummed again, urging the Doctor to return to you so you could help her ease her mind.
“They’re fine,” she said. “They should get their sleep.”
You should be with them anyway
“Okay!” the Doctor exclaimed, pushing off the counter to go back to your room ignoring the Tardis mental laughter in her head.
She marched her way back to your room and slowly opened your door with a quiet call of your name in case you were still asleep. Not getting an answer, the Doctor walked into your room and up to your bed only to see that your blankets were tossed to the side and there wasn’t any sign of you in your room. Her hearts stopped beating as her mind worked to think of every possible situation in the universe. No, you were fine. She must’ve just missed you. She left your room to wander the Tardis in hopes of finding you, hoping that you were okay.
The Doctor found you in the library after searching for what seemed like hours, she forgot how infinite this ship could be. She had given up and asked the Tardis where you were, and the time machine lead her down the hall to a familiar door and the Doctor had to restrain from facepalming. Of course, you would have gone to the library. When she walked in she saw you were curled up on the couch wrapped snugly in your favourite quilt from home and an open book in your hands. She heard the pitter patter of rain echoing through the library and the faint sounds of music playing underneath the rain, and a scented candle sat lit on the side table beside you. You weren’t in your bed when she went to go check on you in the morning and she worried about your healing injuries and if you had gotten lost in the Tardis, not that the time machine would let that happen, but it was always a possibility. When she found you, she noticed you looked a little tired, but it was to be expected. A hypothermia exhausted sleep was never a restful one.
You were deep into the story of your book you didn’t hear the Doctor’s boots over the soothing rainfalls and music you had asked the Tardis to play for you. You jumped when the couch suddenly dipped beside you and almost fell into the weight had you not managed to free your arms from its quilt confinement. Hands grabbed onto your shoulders and back to steady and bring you back to your sitting position and you looked up to see it was the Doctor who had sat beside you.
“Oh, Doctor!” you greeted. “Good morning!”
“Good morning,” she said back. “Looked all over for you.”
You could hear the worry she was trying to hide in her voice. “I’m sorry. I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I thought I’d come here. I didn’t mean to worry.”
She smiled reassuringly at you, telling you she was glad to see you up and moving. “How are you feeling?”
Your shrugged, leaning over to pick up the discarded book off the floor and wrapping your quilt around your shoulders again. “Tired mostly. My arms and legs feel…tingly?”
The Doctor hummed. “That’s normal, just your blood circulating back through your body. Going back to doing its job.”
Your eyes narrowed at how the Doctor was speaking. Her tone was very guarded, and her eyes refused to meet yours. It reminded you of all her interactions with the Master where she would start to shut people out and hide things from her friends. It felt like she wasn’t here in the library with you. Physically she was, you could feel her leg brush up against your own, but she felt like she was a hundred thousand galaxies away. Completely unreachable by you.
“Doctor?” You started, hoping to bring her back to you. “Are you okay?”
She blinked in surprise not expecting your question. “’Course I’m okay, I’m the King of okay! Er, no. Queen? Hmm, I’ll figure it out later.”
“You’re not though,” you told her, putting the book on the table and turning to face her and give her your full attention. “I know this look, Doctor. What is that big brain of yours thinking?”
The Doctor was silent. Her eyes flickering between yours while you could only watch as she was having an internal conversation with herself. You stayed quiet, wanting her to come to the decision to tell you what was bothering her.
“You don’t have to tell me.” You said, reaching out to grab her hand.
The Doctor shook her head. “No, it’s…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
You blinked, not expecting that but gave a reassuring smile. “What ever are you sorry for?”
“I shouldn’t have left you alone,” her eyes were drawn down as she spoke. “I should have stayed with you.”
You shook your head. “You couldn’t have known what was going to happen, Doctor.”
“I should have known!” she argued. “I told you it was safe! You almost… you almost died,” her voice cracking at the end.
You didn’t really remember what had happened after the Doctor took you to that planet. Every time you tried you couldn’t stop the violent shiver that crawled up your spine. Flashes of cold and ice crossed your mind, and it wasn’t hard for you to piece it together that you had been under ice for who knows how long and caught hypothermia while you were trapped, and your voice was still sore from all your screaming.
“But I’m not,” you told her. “You saved me, like you always do.”
“I was so close to not making it,” she whispered.
You felt your heart break at her confession, you couldn’t imagine how it was for the Doctor trying to break through the ice. You reached to grab the Doctors hand to hold it pressed against your cheek.
“I’m here,” you said. “I’m right here.”
The Doctors hand felt warm against your cheek giving you flashbacks of familiar warm hands one ice-cold skin, your ice-cold skin. You couldn’t help but lean into that familiar warmth, that safety that was the Doctor.
“I was so scared,” she said.
You grasped the Doctors wrist in a gentle hold. “I was too,” you admitted.
“I was afraid that I wasn’t going to see you again,” you continued before the Doctor could open her mouth.
The Doctor didn’t say anything after, her gaze focused on you and you couldn’t help thinking how pretty her eyes were, and the air between you didn’t feel so heavy in guilt. Slowly she started to lean forward until her forehead met yours and you could feel her breath against your face. Her hand fell from your cheek to hold your hand and you felt your face start to heat up with the blush that decorated the spot that the Doctors hand once was.
“I know you worry about what will happen, if I die while I’m here travelling with you. I can’t begin to imagine how many people you’ve lost in your lifetimes, and I know my name will make that list one day. Until then you’re stuck with me a little bit longer.”
The Doctor was still silent, and instead of saying anything she wrapped her arms around you in a tight hug. Her head moved to rest on your shoulder, and you did the same. You knew the Doctor needed this reassurance, and you were sure that while you were unconscious her mind had been eating at her with the guilt on how you nearly died.
“You silly, wonderous, beautiful human,” you heard her say.
You smiled and your hold on the Doctor tightened. You suddenly felt a shiver tremble its way through your body and you knew the Doctor had felt it because she started to run her hand up and down your back leaving a pleasant warm trail behind.
“Are you cold?” She asked.
You hummed, pulling away from the Doctor to wrap your quilt tighter around your body. “A little.”
The Doctor shuffled back till her back touched the arm of the couch, one of her legs fell over the edge and she had her arms outstretched. “Come here.”
You hesitated for a second. It was one thing to hug the Doctor, but it’s another to be basically cuddling her on the couch. You moved closer to her and leaned against her chest, your quilt still wrapped around you, and her arms wrapping around your middle, and you were surrounded by everything that is the Doctor. You could hear her two heartbeats while your head rested on her shoulder. You started to feel really warm, and you noticed that a fireplace replaced one of the bookshelves in the library. You sighed, and completely relaxed into the Doctor. You couldn’t stop the closing of your eyes with the combination of the hypnotic dance of the fire, the warmth and scent that surrounded you that was the Doctor, the rhythmic beating of her hearts and her hand that drew intricate patterns on your quilt.
You were glad your shivering stopped, you decided you hated the cold. You hated that it almost took you away from the Doctor, and you hated that it made the Doctor feel like it was all her fault. You moved your hand out from under your quilt and grabbed the Doctors hand that still drew those patterns, and you realized she was tracing the stitching on it, and you intertwined your fingers together.
“I love you, Doctor,” you said, angling your head so you could look up at her.
The Doctor paused and looked down at you, and she didn’t say anything back. How could she? She did love you; she planned this surprise trip for you, but she was reminded at how fragile you were. She never wanted to lose you. She couldn’t. She kept her gaze on you, and your eyes flickered between hers, and you smiled. You could see that she felt the same. Her eyes sparkled with a fondness that she only held when she looked at you, even if she knew it or not.
“it’s okay, Doctor,” you told her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to say anything, I know.”
You settled back into the Doctors embrace and her arms returned to hold you close. You both watched the fires dance over the logs, the Doctors head rested on top of yours and you tucked yourself into her neck. You were almost asleep when you felt the Doctor press a kiss into your hair and you hummed and nuzzled yourself closer.
“Read to me?” you mumbled.
You heard the Doctor laugh under your ear, her chest moving with her laughs, but she complied and leaned carefully over, and to not send you rolling to the floor, and picked up the book that she had caught you reading when she came in and she shifted around to be able to lay and read comfortably while you still rested on her.
“What page were you on?” she asked.
“Don’ remember. Start from the beginning, please?” you gave her pleading eyes.
The Doctor smiled, a beautiful thing you think, she should smile more often. You listened to the Doctors voice as she read the book, not really paying attention to the words she was reading. You wouldn’t admit it out loud to her, but you really enjoyed hearing the Doctor talk, you found her voice to be very soothing it very quickly helped you fall asleep. The Doctor knew you were asleep shortly after she started reading, she noticed how your breathing deepened and soft snores left your mouth, but she continued to read aloud anyway. She closed the book after she finished the first chapter and placed it back onto the table, thankful that you hadn’t even shifted when she moved.
She thought about taking you back to your room, but she found she was also tried. She hadn’t slept much, or at all, since she got you back in the Tardis. So, she slowly and carefully shuffled down so she could lay on her back with you still sleeping on top of her. You groaned with the movement but settled again when the Doctor whispered to you that you were okay. She managed to get some of your quilt unwrapped, so you didn’t accidentally choke in your sleep, and she let out a soft sigh, feeling her exhaustion catch up with her.
“Sleep well,” she whispered, placing another kiss on your head. “I love you too.”
And it was the best sleep the both of you ever had.