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His smile was like a glowing beacon of hope and ever since that day Youngjae had fallen in love with his roommate.
He didn’t mean to nor did he mean to fall as hard but he couldn’t help it when Jaebum would smile in his presence and cause Youngjae’s heart to flutter. It didn’t help that they lived in a one bedroom apartment while sharing a bed to save on costs. It was a perfect idea back in High School when Youngjae wanted to go to the same college as Jaebum and Jaebum having his own apartment.
Now it makes things awkward at night when Jaebum snuggles close to Youngjae (due to his bad sleeping habits) and Youngjae would have to will himself to sleep. Jaebum would complain that Youngjae was a heavy sleeper and too hard to wake up in the morning, but in reality it was because it took hours before Youngjae would fall asleep.
The crush happened very uneventfully if you were to ask Youngjae since it just appeared when Jaebum and he were playing a simple board game on a snow day. Jaebum was in the lead and couldn’t stop smiling for finally being able to beat Youngjae at a game when he sucked at them. Youngjae noticed that smile and realized he never wanted Jaebum to stop.
“What are we doing this weekend?” Jaebum asked from his favorite spot on the couch, one glance and anyone could tell he was on his phone.
“Nothing special, why?” Youngjae responded from the kitchen after losing at rock-paper-scissors and having to do the dishes.
“Mark and Jackson invited us to one of their end of the semester parties that they always end up throwing.” Jaebum answered moving to look at the blond doing the dishes. Youngjae shrugged.
“So you mean Jackson getting wasted and Mark having to take care of him?” Youngjae asked and smiled when he got Jaebum to laugh at his comment. Youngjae lived for these kinds of moments.
“Pretty much, but free alcohol and snacks so yes?” Jaebum questioned already knowing the answer but being polite and asking. Jaebum already realized that whenever he goes somewhere Youngjae is always bound to come along.
“Sure, I guess it isn’t too much of a problem since we finish finals tomorrow.” He shrugged again and moved away from the kitchen and towards the living room. Jaebum smiled and went right back to his phone to probably tell Jackson that they were indeed going.
Nothing like a good party as a way to end a semester of hardcore studying.
~*~
And a good party it was. Jackson always had a way of controlling his parties even if he was always shit-face drunk. It might have something to do with having a wonderful roommate like Mark.
Youngjae never really talked to Mark, but then again Mark never really talked to anyone but Jackson. Jaebum was close friends with Jackson since he entered college and with Youngjae being a bit behind he didn’t get the chance to grow close like Jackson and Jaebum did.
So one would imagine it weird when Mark walked over to Youngjae during the duration of the party and offered him a drink. Youngjae took it politely and sipped at it awkwardly as Mark continued to stand next to him.
“I have a secret, can you keep it?” Mark asked almost too quietly to be heard over the music. Youngjae could not tell anyone how he was able to hear it but he nodded nonetheless and next thing he knew he was being brought into Mark’s room.
Inside the room was almost like a whole new dimension; the music was faint and the smell seemed fresh. It was a huge contrast to how the party was and how it felt.
“What is it?” Youngjae asked to mask his awkwardness. He never really had a one-on-one conversation with Mark and he didn’t expect it to happen during a party.
“I have a huge favor.” Mark whispered. If one thought he couldn’t get any quieter than they were definitely wrong. “Will you help me?”
Youngjae found himself nodding and his mouth felt dry from the look Mark was giving him.
“Close your eyes.” Mark moved closer and Youngjae couldn’t believe he was actually closing his eyes without even a questioning look.
He didn’t expect to feel soft lips against his own. He didn’t expect Mark to press further than that and move his lips, urging Youngjae to move. He felt frozen in Mark’s presence, felt strange to have his first kiss taken by someone he barely knew.
He wanted this kiss to be Jaebum. He wanted this to be a moment between the person he absolutely wanted to be with and himself.
But here he was with Mark and the feeling was completely wrong. Youngjae pushed Mark away when he finally came to his senses and stared at Mark disbelievingly.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Youngjae shouted but it felt quieter than he had wanted. He was angry, beyond pissed and all he wanted to do was punch something.
He wanted to punch something because this wasn’t Jaebum. He wanted to punch something because this wasn’t how his fantasy was supposed to play out.
To be dragged into a party, get drunk, kiss Jaebum and be happy even that was better than this outcome.
“Please understand.” Mark tried to reason but Youngjae wouldn’t listen. His first kiss was stolen and it’ll never come back.
“I won’t tell anyone about this.” Youngjae spoke harshly as he opened the door and walked back into the reality of the party. He walked away from the quiet and into the loud blaring music.
He wouldn’t stop drinking after that moment in hopes of erasing his memories and being able to think about his first kiss properly. He wanted to drown away the idea of Mark and bring in Jaebum. He didn’t know Mark was gay, he didn’t know Mark liked him.
What he did know was that Mark wasn’t Im Jaebum.
“Dude are you okay?” Jaebum asked after finally finding Youngjae, who was currently up against a wall slurping at some alcohol.
“I’m fineee” Youngjae slurred and smiled at Jaebum. Ah, there was the man of his fantasy.
“You are not fine, Youngjae. I’ve never seen you drink this much.” Jaebum responded and immediately pushed Youngjae against his body to support Youngjae. “We’re leaving.” He slung Youngjae’s arm over his shoulder and worked to get Youngjae’s drunk body away from the loud continuous music.
Generally Youngjae would have a drink or two but always be able to drive the two of them home, or they would stay the night and leave the next day. Jaebum wasn’t really experienced in calling a taxi but there was no way in hell was he was driving drunk or making Youngjae drive.
So in the end a taxi was called and they awkwardly got into the back of the car. The driver paid the two of them no mind as Jaebum told the address of their apartment and drove without even a single word. Youngjae was slumped up against Jaebum in the seat without even a seatbelt on and slurring words towards Jaebum that really had no meaning.
It wasn’t until about half way through the drive home that things started to get weird. Youngjae at first was satisfied with just being against Jaebum and mumbling incoherent words but after a while wanted to step it up a bit. Mark’s kiss was burning in his memory and he wanted to do anything to forget about that instance. So as a way to release the stress he didn’t even know was building up he started kissing Jaebum’s neck.
The taxi driver gave a weird look and Jaebum’s face lit up red and attempted to push Youngjae off of him to get away from the awkward situation that the younger has placed him in. Youngjae was determined though and continued to inch closer and move his lips against Jaebum’s neck causing Jaebum to just give up and give the taxi driver an apologetic face. Thankfully the taxi driver just shrugged it off and continued to drive, probably thinking that Youngjae was merely only doing this because of how drunk he was.
Jaebum hoped the kissing would stop when the taxi ride was over but he was far from wrong. Youngjae continued to kiss at his neck all of the way to their apartment and even continued once they were inside. Jaebum was a permanent shade of pink as he moved Youngjae towards their shared room and flopped the boy on the bed.
Youngjae whined loudly at the loss of skinship and wiggled around until Jaebum gave up and moved onto the bed as well. He should have known that the second he landed on the bed he was going to get attacked by the younger, but he still seemed surprised when Youngjae attached his lips once more to Jaebum’s neck.
“You’re so drunk it’s ridiculous.” Jaebum mumbled and shifted into a more comfortable position as Youngjae literally crawled into his lap and continued to kiss Jaebum, but now moving towards Jaebum’s pink stained face.
Honestly speaking Jaebum wasn’t rejecting the boy and he really didn’t know why as Youngjae moved to kiss along his jawline and towards his lips. He didn’t even seem surprised as Youngjae finally landed his lips on top of his own.
What actually surprised him was how quickly he kissed back. Something foreign entered his brain at that moment that only told him to kiss back and boy did he listen to it. Youngjae hummed happily in response and soon Jaebum was leaning on Youngjae to move the boy to lay down. He shifted once more to hover above Youngjae and stopped for a moment to admire the boy below him. He never really noticed how soft his blond hair looked or how cute Youngjae was with flushed pink cheeks.
He could blame the alcohol in his system but he still leaned down and stole yet another kiss from Youngjae, satisfied that this was probably Youngjae’s first kiss. And from that moment he just couldn’t stop. Kissing Youngjae became a drug to him as he continued to kiss along Youngjae’s jawline as Youngjae had done for him just before and even moved down to start kissing at Youngjae’s neck and down to his collarbone being exposed from his shirt.
“Hyung…” Youngjae whined and wiggled below him and finally moved to thrust up against Jaebum which caused Jaebum to let out a moan as their crotches rubbed against each other.
“Oh god Youngjae don’t do that.” Jaebum whispered, already losing control as he once again claimed Youngjae’s lips as his own. Youngjae moaned into the kiss and tried once more to cause some friction but this time Jaebum held him down. If there was anything Jaebum definitely had it was a conscious and he was not going to do this much to his drunken roommate.
Finally Jaebum rolled off of Youngjae onto his side of their shared bed and tried to distance himself from Youngjae; which failed completely as Youngjae moved to spoon against Jaebum and hug at his back. Luckily for Jaebum it stopped there and soon he could hear soft snoring coming from Youngjae. He really didn’t know what to do at this moment. He just completely made out with his roommate who was piss drunk and who will probably not remember a single thing in the morning. Did he want Youngjae to remember this? Did he have feelings for his roommate?
He was far too tired to think more about it as his eyes slowly shut and sleep finally took over.
~*~
Youngjae was far from embarrassed when he woke up the next morning. Did he remember everything that happened last night? He sure did!
By the time Youngjae had opened his eyes to the morning sun he was alone in the bed with the smell of food radiating from the kitchen. “Did I seriously just offer myself to Jaebum?” Youngjae whispered to himself and turned a fair shade of pink of just thinking about last night.
However, Jaebum did kiss him back.
Truthfully Youngjae had an entire fantasy about his first kiss with Jaebum, call him a girl for it but he couldn’t help but be the hopeless romantic that he was. His fantasy started with a simple realization of feelings from Jaebum, a magical encounter where he randomly saw Youngjae as the most attractive person in the world. From there it would go exactly as Youngjae wanted with roses by the dozen and definitely chocolate as well. Then Jaebum would bring Youngjae into a tight embrace and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. Youngjae would feel embarrassed but take the compliments and return the embrace with just as much passionate. Finally Jaebum would lower his head down towards Youngjae’s face, close his eyes slowly, and press his lips against Youngjae’s for the first time. It will be like a thousand fireworks going off at once, a giant spark of passion and every single wish come true all in one kiss. Jaebum would then pull away slowly, touch his forehead to Youngjae’s and look him straight in the eyes as he says, “I love you.”
And thus Youngjae’s fantasy blew up in his face at the reality of what happened last night.
Though it wasn’t like it was a bad first kiss with Jaebum, he just felt terrible that it was because of the alcohol consumed at the party. All because of Mark really, but could Youngjae really blame the guy, at least it gave Youngjae a reason to finally make the first move on Jaebum.
“Youngjae, are you awake?”
Crap! He still didn’t want to face Jaebum just yet.
“Breakfast is ready! Be grateful little brat, I don’t make breakfast just for anyone.” Youngjae could hear Jaebum nearing their shared room and Youngjae immediately ducked into the covers to pretend to be asleep.
By the time Jaebum entered the room he assumed Youngjae was still asleep and went to sit next to the ‘sleeping’ boy. “Get up Youngjae.” He whispered and pushed Youngjae slightly. When he received no response he gently placed his hand on Youngjae’s shoulder and started to rock Youngjae back and forth.
“I really hope last night wasn’t a mistake.” He found himself speaking out loud as he continued to rock Youngjae back and forth. “I thought about it a lot since then.” He hummed and went back to Youngjae’s shoulder and rested his hand there. “I don’t know how I’m feeling exactly, but I want whatever that happened last night to continue.” He smiled to himself and finally stood up.
“Breakfast is going to get cold if you continue to lay in bed Jae.” Jaebum sighed and was about to walk towards the door when an arm shot out of the bed and grabbed his wrist.
“Wait.”
Jaebum smiled.
“Last night wasn’t a mistake.” Youngjae continued and moved away from his covers so that he could look Jaebum in the eye. “I meant everything I did.”
Jaebum’s smile continued to grow, “Continue…”
“I’ve had a huge crush on you for a while; I never wanted to say anything for fear that you wouldn’t like me in that way.” Youngjae explained with a blush slowly growing on his cheeks. Jaebum couldn’t help but move forward and sit back on the bed.
“I can’t really say that I’ve had a crush on you too, but I can say that after last night it really got me thinking about our friendship.” Jaebum spoke quietly as if he were trying to piece together his assortment of thoughts into one sentence.
“You don’t have to explain yourself hyung.” Youngjae smiled and rubbed Jaebum’s wrist with his thumb. “I don’t mind waiting.”
Jaebum smiled once more and nodded. “Thanks.”
It might not necessarily be the fantasy he had dreamed up, but Youngjae was definitely not complaining.