Chapter Text
"In my world, turning 20 has never been a big deal. We've all heard of the soulmate phenomenon, seen it on TV, in movies and listened to love stories on the radio. But we've never encountered someone with a story like that to share in our day to day life. Love happens outside of the soulmate realm too. And love is beautiful in all forms.
I think there was this one guy who a couple of years ago gained a soulmate mark on his body the day he turned 20. A flower on his ankle if I remember correctly, he was born here but he left town as soon as those rumours appeared. We never saw or heard from him again so I can't really be sure if it's true or not. I'd like to know though. I really would.
This love I spoke of, outside of the soulmate realm. I have found that. My Martin is loving, caring and so sweet, he treats me so well and I don't think I've ever admired a person as much as I do him. We've lived together for a year now, and not a day goes by without me thinking of how lucky I am to be with a guy like him. So how will I tell him?
How can I explain to him that this morning when I ran to the bathroom after waking up, it was because a butterfly had appeared on my upper arm? I couldn't stay in bed because I could hear what felt like a million voices in my head, and none of them said anything in english, but somehow I still understood all of them. I couldn't tell him that after getting dressed and kissing him goodbye as I went to work I wasn't even a little giddy at the touch of our lips like I used to be.
i.Can't.Tell.Him.
I tried to act normal at work today too, but after two hours of staring blankly at the screen doing nothing productive I realised my thoughts needed some collecting so I told my boss I wasn't feeling well and made my leave. I know there wasn't anything physically wrong with me, but I honestly didn't even remember what I did at work, it felt like my head was exploding with thoughts as I contemplated the reality of my situation.
I have a soulmate mark, I have a soulmate. And they are not my boyfriend. I couldn't deal with it, I can't tell him yet, this doesn't have to change anything as soon as I get my emotions in control. And he doesn't have to know about the soul mark because well... I got a couple more tattoos."
I looked away from my diary, peeking at the plastic covered arm resting in my lap. I sighed, it still hurt like a bitch but I felt i deserved that pain, it reminded me of why I did it.