Work Text:
It's a bright and unexpectedly sunny morning when Sapnap wakes up.
He blinks rapidly, trying to get the sunshine that pours through the stupid sheer curtains that George insisted they buy out of his eyes. Sapnap groans, giving up and instead allowing the radiance of the world consume him.
His eyes burn, and he's convinced that the sun is trying to suck up all the blue in his irises. Once Sapnap's eyes fully adjust to the light, he remembers something.
It's his birthday.
Growing up, his parents never made a big deal out of birthdays. It was only natural that he didn't either. Sure, he got money and was allowed to stay home if his birthday was on a school day, but that was it. Other than that, they treated his birthday like any other day.
And that was how he spent fifteen of his birthdays. Sapnap didn't think anything of it, but when his friends found out, they made it a thing to plan different themed birthday parties for him every year.
Curious to see what his idiotic friends have come up with this time, Sapnap blindly reached over for his phone on the nightstand and opened up the group chat that already had 1K+ messages from today.
It was 7:46 AM.
A goofy smile made its way onto his face as he snuggled into the duvet (it is not a comforter, no matter what George says), letting his feet tangle with George's. He held his phone with his right hand, using the left hand to run his fingers through his boyfriend's soft hair.
➡ big blocky men with big blocky REDCATED
use me (as clickbait) :: IM PANDAS’ BEST FRIEND THEREFORE WHATEVER I SAY GOES
buff n tall duck :: WHAT YOU ARE IS AN OVERRATED ANNOYING WHITE MAN. NOTHING YOU SAY GOES
chad with painted nails :: you guys are so dumb omfg ):<
use me (as clickbait) :: GASP.
looks like he could kill u and will :: are you guys seriously arguing over the colour scheme of the party? just do red.
use me (as clickbait) :: RED??? TECHNOBLADE DO YOU HAVE STUPID? I AM DISOWNING YOU AS MY RIVAL AND HOMIE AND FRIEND
looks like he could kill u and will :: i was never any of those things in the beginning.
bbh's husband & sap's dad :: what about the rival part?
looks like he could kill u and will :: dream can only wish to rival my power.
buff n tall duck :: LMAO DAMN TECHNO REALLY WENT THERE THO
guitar playing fish fucking :: pfft... you didn't have to be so brutal, techno
use me (as clickbait) :: i will kick your ass at the party and then BURN YOUR UGLY CAPE AND CROWN
Several people are typing...
"What are you doing?" George groggily asks, his morning voice pulling Sapnap’s heart strings. The older props his chin on the other’s shoulder, his arms secured around his waist. He’s also still shirtless from last night’s activities.
"Mm, good morning to you, idiot. Just lurking. Watching our friends argue. The usual," Sapnap says, holding his phone up for George to see. He leans back into his boyfriend’s warm embrace. It's embarrassingly domestic for them, but he never wants to leave.
George turns his head to press a light kiss to Sapnap's neck. "About your birthday party, right? They always make such a big fuss." George laughs, and oh my God, Sapnap is going to die if he keeps this up. "Also, happy birthday, dumbass. I love you."
"Still gonna call me a dumbass even when it's my birthday, huh? Bad boyfriend alert." Sapnap gently elbows the other, wondering if he should say something or not. It'd probably just add to the chaos.
"Always gonna call you a dumbass. Because it's true. A cute dumbass though, so you can't say I'm a bad boyfriend," George murmured, the soft neck kisses turning into hickeys (or what the Brits call them, "love bites").
Sapnap tilted his head more to give George more space to work with as he typed away on his phone.
➡ big blocky men with big blocky REDCATED
fireboy but sexier :: ngl sleeping the day away sounds like the best option rn
buff n tall duck :: SAPNAP HAPPY BDAY U CUTE HIMBO FUCKER
pay me then we’ll talk :: hbd nerd
chad with painted nails :: SAPNAP!! HAPPY DATE OF BIRTH! ILY!! <3
use me (as clickbait) :: excuse me NO YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING BITCH I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS PARTY
looks like he could kill u and will :: happy birthday, sapnap.
skeppy's husband & sap's dad :: its my son's birthday!! happy birthday sappy <3 i have a great present for you!
bbh's husband & sap's dad :: hap barf kiddo i give you shelter. thats a good enough present right
skeppy's husband & sap's dad :: skeppy he doesn't even live with us D:
use me (as clickbait) :: SAPNAP DO YOU HEAR ME I NEED YOU TO BE SO IMPRESSED
guitar playing fish fucking :: sapnap, as a sign of respect, i will sing my heart out on your birthday
PROBLEM CHILD :: BIG S!!!!!! SAPNAP I HAVE THE BEST GIFT AND I BOUGHT IT MYSELF LIKE THE BIG MAN I AM
BEE CHILD :: UNTRUE! WE BOUGHT IT CUZ URE BROKE TOMMY!! >:C
use me (as clickbait) :: SAPNAP IM SERIOUS I WORKED MY ENTIRE LIFE
ABNORMALLY TALL CHILD :: i bought it because you're both broke...
ez bake oven :: i made the cake!
relvet :: i helped!
best furry :: i got you a gift :3
worst furry :: i was forced to get you a gift /hj
fireboy but sexier :: i might just play twister in bed /w gog all day
Several people are typing...
"Why'd you say that?" George asks, furrowing his eyebrows. A light pink dusted his cheeks, making Sapnap giggle at his flustered boyfriend.
"Because I can." Sapnap shrugs, booping his boyfriend on the nose before laughing and rolling out of bed. He also shut off his phone, just to keep his friends on the edge a bit. "Kinda rude how you didn't make me breakfast in bed, especially when it's my birthday, George."
"I... Ugh, fine. Since it’s your birthday, I'll make you something fancy—"
"We ran out of eggs, by the way."
"I'm making you bacon."
"Geeeooorgie," Sapnap stretches out his boyfriend’s name in a whiney tone, "I got a question!"
George rolls his eyes, lightheartedly of course. He keeps his eyes on the pan to make sure he doesn’t burn anything, but he already knows the exact position Sapnap is in. His legs are up on the dining table and the chair he’s sitting on is teetering on the edge of the two back legs.
"What?"
"Are we going to have birthday sex?"
"What you are going to have is a poisoned breakfast if you don’t shut up," George says, keeping his voice flat. He’s so used to Sapnap’s dirty comments that it barely affects him anymore.
Sapnap shuts up. George hums, satisfied with the silence. He carefully picks up the bacon with the spatula and slides it onto the fresh, buttered toast on a plate. There would’ve been eggs too, but someone dropped them all and forgot to buy more.
That someone is not George, by the way. But I’m sure you already knew that.
"Here. Eat it," George demanded, sliding the plate across the table.
"You’re always so pushy! It’s kinda mmm most of the time though, so." Sapnap took a bite, the remnants of the brisk winter air flowing in through the opened window.
"Oh my God, just shut up and eat." George shoved his shoulder, his smile growing bigger at the surprised, high pitched noise Sapnap lets out.
"You’re so mean, Gogy, and on my birthday too! Just you wait until I find someone better than your mean ass and— Wait, I’m sorry, G e o r g e—"
that’s it folks im so sorry i should’ve made a banger instead i made this i love sapnap so much this white boy makes me heart go boom. i will use all my strength to ensure he has a good day. such a good... okay wait no calling him a good boy would be weird I LOVE HIM OKAY