Work Text:
It was a slow day in HQ, John was in the back typing away at a laptop while keeping tabs on Judomaster, Adrian was away doing whatever the fuck he was doing (they actually had no clue, and that's never a good sign), and Murn and Adebayo were off doing some research for the mission, while the other three were left to their own devices, for better or for worse. In this case, for worse, since Chris seemed keen to imitate a talk show host and interrogate Y/N about their relationship with Adrian.
"I mean, seriously, it's just mind blowing someone actually likes the little nerd enough to date him, especially having known what he was like in high school?! You're a trooper, dude, seriously," Y/N continued typing away with a somewhat subtle eye roll, locking eyes briefly with Harcourt over their computers, "you're a trooper, I mean that."
"And you're a grade A dick, Chris."
"Thank you." After dodging a few pens tossed in his direction, Chris leaned back in his chair with his feet on Harcourt's desk, a smug smile conveying just how pleased he was with himself. "But seriously, how the hell did you two get together?" he merely received a shrug in response.
"It's none of your business, frankly, and Harcourt, you don't have to look so amused, you're only encouraging the bitch." Harcourt shook her head, clearly biting back a smile. "What? Are you curious too?"
"I'm not encouraging anything, I just...Have you told him you love him yet?" With wide eyes, Y/N very deliberately nodded.
"Of course I have, we've been dating for years."
"Alright, I just wasn't sure - you guys seem very honeymoon phase." While speaking she glanced at Chris before harshly kicking his feet off her desk, ignoring his quiet whine of complaint. "And honestly, I didn't think Adrian was capable of uttering those words to anyone other than dude perfect over here."
Y/N shrugged, "That's because he hasn't, Adrian doesn't care about saying it, it's just how he is." Both Harcourt and Chris turned to stare at them immediately.
"You're joking." "I didn't think he was that emotionally stunted holy shit, are you kidding?" Y/N continued working casually, barely glancing upwards at the two comically shocked faces staring back.
"I don't need him to tell me what I already know, what he already demonstrates every day - he thinks the words are pointless and I don't care whether he says it or not."
"You seriously don't care?"
"He makes his feeling extraordinarily clear every day, I don't need three little words to prove that. I just like saying it, he doesn't care." Chris' eyes seemed to light up and he shrugged in his seat.
"Okay, so don't. I bet he'd lose it if you stopped - he'd care about the three little words then, huh?" Y/N scoffed and checked their watch, swiftly closing their laptop as they stood.
"I doubt that, I told you, Adrian doesn't give a shit whether I say it or not." Chris raised his eyebrows, glancing briefly at Harcourt.
"Well prove it, go for...say, a week, and don't say it at all - I bet he won't last a day."
"You're a child-"
"Are you just too afraid to admit you're wrong? C'mon, I bet you twenty bucks." Sighing as they packed up their things, Y/N shrugged.
"Whatever, I'll be twenty bucks richer next Sunday because as long as I don't act any different, he won't even notice." They grabbed their bag, swinging it over their shoulder and heading swiftly towards the back exit, responding quickly to Chris' "We'll see about that!" with a middle finger over the shoulder.
It was about eleven that night, Y/N was laying in bed with Adrian chatting animatedly to them from where he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, despite having a mouth full of toothpaste. At this point, Y/N couldn't even figure out what he was saying, merely nodding along and speaking the occasional word of encouragement.
"I mean, really, what the fuck kinda privilege do cicadas have, contributing to all that noise pollution and receiving no legal push back? Really I should be killing them, fuck the human criminals - they're the real cretins, am I right, babe?" Y/N tuned back in just then, deciding just to nod at him despite their confusion.
"Yeah, you get those cicadas, babe."
Soon enough, Adrian made his way over, not-so-gently dropping his glasses on his bedside table and turning off the lights as he crawled under the covers. Ten minutes and their usual "stop stealing the blankets!" discussion later, they were settled, a comfortable tangle of limbs in the darkness of their bedroom. Adrian mumbled out a quiet "Goodnight." after a particularly dramatic yawn, and Y/N repeated it back to him before tugging him closer and resting their head on his chest.
What.
Adrian opened his eyes and stared up at his slightly blurry ceiling.
Usually, every night, Y/N would respond with, "Night, love you," before they fell asleep - one time they even woke back up just to be able to say it to him, and yet, now it was... just "Goodnight."? Adrian reasoned with himself for a moment - it was pretty late, maybe they just forgot, and they were tired. Besides, it was just three words, he'd live to see tomorrow without them. Closing his eyes once more, Adrian barely spared it a thought more than that, and went to sleep. It was fine.
The next morning, as an actual official member of the task force (unlike Adrian), Y/N was stumbling around the apartment getting ready, thanks to an early morning wake up call from Harcourt calling them into HQ, in which she hung up before Y/N could even negotiate just five more minutes in bed with Adrian. With their shirt half buttoned, they huffed and gathered all they needed under their arm, disappearing from the bedroom to put on their shoes by the front door. Lying on his side, Adrian raised up on his elbow as they walked back in, grinning brightly upwards as they kissed him, stroked his hair a little, and called out "Bye, see you later!" over their shoulder as they left the room.
Adrian stared at their retreating form with furrowed eyebrows and listened for the front door to close before flipping back over to look at the still-blurry ceiling once more. Were they mad at him? Just like last night, they didn't say their usual "I love you" before work, did he do something? They weren't acting any different, after work last night they'd ordered in dinner and watched a movie, nothing too unusual. They talked about the usual things, they laughed at his constant nonsense commentary of the movie they watched, and they even did their usual excited exclaim when he announced he wasn't going out as Vigilante that night, crossing the kitchen in a few swift steps to hug him playfully, pressing small kisses to his jaw.
Something he'd later realise to be dread settled deep in Adrian's stomach, but he shoved it down. They were in a rush, they probably just forgot. One time he was rushing and didn't say a single word to them before leaving, and he came home to them sheepishly asking if he was mad at them - it was a very confusing conversation but they settled the misunderstanding quickly, this was probably the exact same thing. They were fine. It was fine.
It was very much not fine, Adrian quickly decided, as the days went on and he grew to realise just how often he heard those three little words, and how maybe they weren't just three little words after all. The day after the lack of the morning "I love you" was followed by an exact repeat, with the day only seeming to get worse.
Having once again been confined to their desk all day, Y/N was texting Adrian quite frequently about how bored they were, being the only one in the office that day, they couldn't even annoy Chris or goad him into doing something stupid since, once again, the others were out doing mission stuff. And so, Adrian came up with a plan - Y/N always, without a doubt, said they loved him if he gave them something. It was pretty cute, actually, a habit from when they were no more than kids gifting rocks to each other, something that had sneaked its way with them into adulthood. And so, Adrian entered through the back exit of HQ with freshly bought lunch for Y/N in hand, once again, not something uncommon enough to alert them to his concern, he did it every now and then, as did they. It was just a friendly, well, boyfriendly gesture.
He entered quietly, walking softly as he approached their desk from behind, sneaking up to drop the bag on their desk and gently place his now-empty hands on their shoulders with a quiet, "Hi.", as they flinched. Adrian laughed at that, leaning down to press a kiss to their shoulder.
Having gotten past the brief shock, Y/N spun in their chair with a fond smile, pushing themselves up to kiss his cheek and muttering a quiet "Thank you," against his skin before sitting back down. And that was it. The next moment they were reaching over to pull out a chair for him beside them, asking questions about his day, if he had any ideas they could have for dinner that night, if he wanted to watch one of his favourite shows later - all the usual things. And yet he felt so inexplicably sick. It was just three tiny words he didn't even believe held any power, so why did he feel like throwing up?
It only got worse from there. For the next week they didn't say it before bed or in the mornings, or when he dropped off their lunch or they dropped off his. They didn't say it if they showed up during his shift at work and they didn't even say it randomly, something they'd mentioned was their favourite way of saying it.
They were watching a movie one night, Adrian draped across the couch with his head in their lap while they ever so gently played with his hair - his personal definition of heaven. Eventually he turned to look at them, meeting their gaze - a scene so familiar as they leaned down to kiss him despite the strange angle. But instead of the usual, "i love you", he received a different three words - "You're so cute.", as they turned back nonchalantly to watch the movie on the screen. Adrian followed suit, no longer watching, only observing, entirely wrapped up in his own thoughts.
What the fuck. Why weren't they saying it - more importantly, why did he care so much - even more importantly WHY WEREN'T THEY SAYING IT? Adrian really hated this whole thing - it was just three fucking words why did he suddenly care so much? Maybe he should talk to the others? Adebayo was married, she'd probably have good advice with this kinda thing. But he really didn't want to talk about this with her, he'd known her, what, a week? Harcourt was mean and would probably just tell him to fuck off, and Economos and Murn likely wouldn't give him the time of day. Maybe Chris could help? Adrian was about a second away from sighing before remembering he was currently in their lap, containing it and forcing himself to at least try to focus on the movie.
It all came to a head on Saturday night, Adrian could've sworn he was going mad - well, madder, if his teammates' comments about him were accurate. They were sitting at the kitchen counter chatting idly as they ate dinner, having made the meal together earlier. It was so normal, a completely average night for them and yet just the lack of those three words stung Adrian more than any knife wound, gunshot, punch, kick, or whatever other wound he'd ever gotten. Eventually he felt too hot, like he was suffocating in his own head, and dropped his plate into the sink before making his way to the bedroom.
"I'm gonna go get ready, you know, Vigilante." Y/N nodded and continued eating their food, and Adrian hesitated in the doorway.
"Y/N...?" They looked up, smiling while trying not to drop the contents of their fork.
"Yeah, baby?" He hesitated, feet tapping absently on the apartment floor.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No, I'm not? Should I be?" Their head tilted slightly before Adrian shook his own in response, smiling faintly.
"Nah, just...like to check in." He closed the bedroom door behind him, leaving the apartment donned in his Vigilante suit not ten minutes later.
Maybe an hour later Y/N was typing away at some work on their laptop when their phone rang, answering it with a glance. Chris' voice rang around the apartment as he proudly called out.
"Guess who owes me twenty bucks?"
"I'm assuming Adrian or Leota, you usually challenge them to stupid bets." He snorted on the other end of the line, they could almost imagine the smirk on his face if his voice was any indication.
"Uh no, it's you, stupid." Y/N contained an eye roll and glanced at the date on their laptop.
"Incorrect, I just have to keep this up until tomorrow afternoon and you will be the one who owes me twenty bucks, because Adrian is yet to notice anything." They flinched slightly as his clearly over exaggerated laugh came through. "Christopher that is the fakest laugh I've ever heard, you sound like someone is choking a Dachshund."
"Are you kidding me? He's more than noticed, he was sulking in the office today - yeah, real mood killer - and when I asked him about it he told me how you stopped saying you loved him," Y/N could've swore they felt their heart stop, "seemed real upset with himself for it, too, dude's got issues."
"I gotta go, Chris."
"What? What do you-"
Fuck. Of course he'd fucking noticed, and by the sounds of things it was fucking killing him. They knew he was acting weird earlier but chopped it up to him being excited to go out on patrol, it was always a toss up whether his Vigilante-induced excitement made him act extra exuberant, or extra quiet, Y/N just figured it was the latter. They quickly tried to call him, only to go straight to voicemail - nothing unusual for a night out as Vigilante, so they sent a short text asking if he knew when he'd be home - only to receive no response.
They sat fidgeting for hours, switching between frantically pacing the apartment, forcing themselves to sit still on the couch which was far too empty for their liking, pacing again, trying to distract themselves, pacing again, and trying not to cry. Shit, of course he'd noticed, they just didn't think he'd care. Of course he fucking cared, he probably thought they were planning some big break up behind his back!
They were perched on a stool at the kitchen counter when they were startled by the sound of the bedroom window shutting softly, turning in their seat to watch Adrian appear in the bedroom doorway, mask still on. A brief once over from across the room at least reassured Y/N that he wasn't injured.
"Adrian-"
"I love you."
They fell dead silent at that, mouth agape as they stared at each other. He never said it, god they'd really fucked up. And why did he have to have the mask on, it made this so much worse. Adrian inhaled shakily, a noise so loud in the deathly quiet apartment. They hated that, their apartment was always loud - either Adrian was talking to himself, or to them, mouth going a mile a minute in an attempt to convey every racing thought in his head, or it was a movie playing on the TV, mostly forgotten as they laughed at each other over random things on the couch, either way, it was never this quiet, or tense.
"I...Do you..." He looked down a little, almost as though psyching himself up before straightening up. "Do you still love me?" His voice cracked at about the same time their heart did. They'd never seen him like this before, in all the years they'd known each other. Fueled mostly by their own guilt, Y/N hopped off the stool and walked over, gently tugging the mask from his face and trying to ignore her painfully squirming insides as they raised their eyes to meet his own, slightly red rimmed ones. Their own eyes filled with tears and they surged forward, hugging him close. He was so stiff during the hug and they hated knowing they were the cause of it, pulling back and holding his face in their hands.
"Adrian I am so sorry-" They realised pretty quickly that was the exact worse possible way they could've began as his eyes widened and he began to pull away, only failing as they gently grabbed one of his arms.
"I love you, Adrian. I love you, I love you, and I'll say it a million more times if you'll just let me explain because I promise, it's not what you think." He looked relieved but still on edge, as though not quite believing them, but followed nonetheless as they tugged him over to sit on the edge of their bed. He was quiet, dead silent as they explained everything, and it was the worst part about it because Adrian Chase was never silent, and Y/N tried so desperately to fill the void in an attempt to fix it.
"And I swear, I swear to you, honey, I didn't think you'd care - or even notice. If I'd have known it would hurt you like this I never would've agreed to the bet because-" they gently held his face again, his eyes shining up at them behind his glasses. "-I love you, so, so, so much."
He smiled at that, a little, and pulled them into his lap as he tenderly held them close against him, tucking his head against their chest, so Y/N could rest their chin on the top of his head as they whispered, "I'm so sorry, Adrian." He shrugged a little against their warm hold on him, speaking softly among the silence.
"It's okay, I was kinda overreacting." They shook their head.
"No, you weren't, and I'm really sorry." He pulled back a little to look at them, sniffling a little while he stared, eyes flitting frantically around their face. He looked down at their hands and intertwined one with his own, his other resting on the small of their back.
"I always said it didn't matter, if we said it out loud, because it didn't. Because I don't need words to tell me you love me when you prove it. When you sit and watch reruns of shows with me, and you put up with me talking for so long when usually people give up after minutes." They smiled and pushed some of his hair back from his face.
"Yeah, and like how you remember my favourite foods or drinks, and when you take photos of random things on patrol because you think they'll make me smile." Adrian nodded up at them, face breaking out into a small smile.
"Like the dog."
"Yeah, like the dog. He did make me smile."
"I know he did. It was a really pretty smile too." He sat up a bit straighter, resting their foreheads together as he stared at them. Adrian always stared a lot, and most people usually tried to make him stop, but Y/N loved it - it was as though he was so enamored he couldn't even take his eyes off them sometimes. He looked down at their hands again before looking back up, whispering almost too quiet to hear.
"I love you." Y/N could've flinched it shocked them so much.
"I love you too, Adrian." He hummed and buried his face against their shoulder.
"It won't hurt me to say it every now and then...It makes me happy hearing you say it, so..." He shrugged in an attempt to make the statement seem like nothing. But it wasn't, it was closer to everything than it was to nothing. Y/n nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
"Okay." He nodded too, and they sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Y/N gently stroking his hair while his hand ran softly up and down their back, moonlight streaming in through the window - not quite hitting them, just barely shining on Adrian's lower half, as though hesitant to interfere in the moment. Eventually, Y/N gently tapped the back of his head.
"Hey, Adrian?" He hummed in acknowledgement. "I love you."
Adrian smiled.