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Flashy bright lights, along with the loud sound of the stereo playing one of those cheesy lovesick songs Ed Sheeran is well-known, made Sasha's mind get tipsy and dizzy, even though the party was just getting started
One could blame the six-pack she chugged at alarming speed, or the three shots of tequila she took in a row, but even that shouldn't be able to take her out of commission that easily, afterall, this was her environment, her pride (leaving aside the forest she used to go hunt hundreds of animals when she was still a teenager)
She can’t afford getting wasted now, especially not when she was supposed to take care of the raven-haired beauty on her side, darting side to side while humming the whole song as if she composed it
The one who met at the very start of college year because she got lost and was nice enough to lead her to her classroom (they later realized they apparently share schedule)
The one who admired by her skills both at academics and sports
The one who started to enjoy hanging out with
The one who was secretive and shy at first, but started to warm up a little bit lately, to the point of knowing her in almost all sense
The one who she could rely on when her own mind started playing rough by bringing her self doubts about her worth
The one who… the one who she fell in love with at the she told her how she was glad she met someone like her
That’s right, that’s why she was here in the first place, otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the little things that came from hanging out with her, like hearing her melodic giggles when she tells her an embarrassing story about her younger self, or the way she stunningly looks with all her gothic attire, with her makeup taking the spotlight
But being honest with herself, she was getting tired of admiring her from what it looked like so, so far away and for so long
She was tired of how her approaches were being swatted away as platonic gestures, tired of being labeled as a friend and not the person she was glad to met…
It looks like she had to take a bold dive if she wants to changes things for good, and if that means come out as a bisexual to the girl he likes in a shady as hell party, then so be it
- Hey Miks! Wanna go to the dance floor? - She blurted out suddenly, as if realizing that the night was getting old already
The latter was just checking her phone, several messages shared with another person displayed on the screen, turning to her side once she heard her name being called
- Again? We just came from there! Can’t you sit still for a little bit? - She whined, so unlike her but at the same time reminding her of the soft side she sometimes shows
It makes her want to grab her by the checks and kiss her right there
- You know I can’t! - Now she was the one whining, and might as well keep doing it if it means getting what she wanted - We have been here for almost half-an-hour already! Who are you meeting again? -
- I told you already, it’s a secret - She told her, remembering that she was supposed to meet with someone today just before she tried to drag her to this party that was hosting one of the frat boys she met - It’s taking some time because he doesn’t know the city yet, but he should be here soon enough -
- Unless this he you are talking about is the blond cutie model you got a selfie with in your instagram then I don’t really care Miks, honestly - If that was the case she wouldn't mind waiting, he was kind of handsome and reminded her to his first formal boyfriend, the one who had to break up with because of his newly acquired work as a Kitchen Master at a restaurant in his mother country, Marley
- For the last time, stop calling Colt like that! It's weird! - she slapped her shoulder playfully, her voice mixing with her drunken giggles - And no, he's not coming here, and besides, he's meeting me! Not you! - she said as a matter of fact
- Then I'm not interested! - She declared, and suddenly she grabbed her friend by the wrist as if trying to drag her out of the table - I'm sure we can have some fun before he arrives! Come on! Let me have two songs with you at least! -
She looked doubtful at first, her eyes going from her phone to her as if she was watching a tennis match
- … Just two songs, alright? - She answered, letting out a sigh and then typing something on her phone
Sasha just let out a high pitched - Yay! - while taking Mikasa out of the table
Now she can finally make her move once and for all
...
Her breath was coming out in heavy pants, the cold weather of the city not being enough to stop them to get all sweaty from their movements, but even so, she didn't mind in the slightest
Not when she got to hold her so very close to her
-Mika? - She asked once she got her breath back, her mind all cloudy by the effect Mikasa got on her, by the way she moves her body so close to her, or how she stunningly looks by the lights of the party
-Yeah? - Answered back her, meeting her onyx eyer with her own and lowering her gaze a little because of the height difference
- Wouldn’t… wouldn't you like us to be more than friends? - She finally started, her heart rate going the fastest it could and her breathing going uneven to the point she could faint at any second
It became quiet for some time then, Mikasa getting caught out of guard by the question
- We are more than friends already, silly, we are BFFS! Why are you pretending otherwise? - As if she was joking, she started to giggle once again
To be fair, this one was on her for not being clear enough with her intentions
But still, there is just so much obliviousness someone should be legally able to muster up
- I meant something better than that… - Now her voice was lower and slower, as if trying to bring out the kind of tone that was meant to serious talks
It seemed to work, since now Mikasa stopped laughing, but still, there was a goofy smile on her face
- What do you have in mind then? - She asked tenderly, a hand on her head, something that she would think twice before doing it if she wasn’t so tipsy - What do you want us to be ? -
That’s it
It was now or never
- I want to be someone you can hold dear to you heart, you know? - She started, sneaking her hands around her waist a bringing her closer, just an inch apart from each other
Mikasa was only able to let ought a gasp in response, not exactly expecting that
- I want… I want to be someone you can share all your burdens and worries with, someone who can make you feel better when you're at your lowest... Someone you would want to share a life with, since you already do that to me… - Her voice was shaky and her eyes were watering already, it's the first time she's doing something like this and no one told her it could be so scary..
Sasha… - was the only word Mikasa could muster up right now, not sure how to answer, the gears in her mind running furiously in order to come up with something, anything
Several painful seconds passed before Sasha lost the last strand that connected her mind with her body, making her go all they again
She only had to stand on her tippy toes in order to reach her mouth with her own, still holding by the waist selfishly to make sure she got the idea of what she wanted
And for some time, everything felt right
Almost like her plump, pink and soft lips were meant for her red ones and thin ones
Just like placing the last piece of a big and complicated puzzle
But something was off, that's for sure
Maybe it was the way Mikasa gasped when she finally placed her own mouth on hers
Maybe it had to do with the way her mouth moved, hesitant and hard
Or maybe, it had to do with the way her eyes looked throughout the whole ordeal, all watery but at the same time with so much emotions and little of them being the ones she expected
It was only when she heard a unsure - … Mikasa? - from behind that she realised she should thought twice before pulling out something like this
More so, considering how Mikasa had to separate from her as if the closeness was burning her, her lips shaking a little bit and her eyes taking a more
Eren! - She almost shouted, her hands trembling and her body expression becoming apprehensive - I-I can explain -
She never took pride in her brains, if she had to be honest, that's probably her biggest weak point, but even so, it was clear as water to realize what was happening
The way the tall brunette guy was staring at her, - hateful and condescending, almost like looking at a low-life criminal - was just the last clue she needed to understand why Mikasa never seemed interested in having a relationship to begin with…
She got only one thing to do then
Run
As far as her leg could let her
As fast as the danger made her
As long as she figures out if she's doing it because of the way things turned out, or because of being afraid of the repercussions of her actions
...
It was a pathetic sight, if she said so herself
Why was she hiding in between some bushes, behind the tree at the garden of the main house, tearing up and sobbing silently again?
Was it because she unintentionally became a homewrecker?
Was it because she was disappointed of her having someone to hold dear to her heart, and that someone wasn't her?
She wasn't sure anymore
The only thing she knew was that she was safe here
At least she felt like that, until she heard the loud crash of the main door hitting the well right beside it and the sound of the music getting louder
- Stop It already, Eren! She must be by her building already! - she heard, a little bit far but enough for her trained ear to ear
Was she talking about her?
- Then tell me where she lives! - Another voice said, felling actual venom coming from it - I gonna give her a fucking piece of my mind! -
- I won't! - Mikasa said firmly, well, as firmly as he could given the situation - Your problem is with me, n-not her! -
Wait what
Why was she covering her back?
She decided then to take a peek in their direction, watching how Mikasa was holding the guy now known as "Eren" by the arm while the mentioned was still watching in every direction possible, looking for her apparently
- My fucking problem is with the both of you - as if having enough of it, he took his arm from her own was is a harash move, almost making her trip - But since you are here, Would you care to explain what the FUCK was THAT!? Is this some kind of sick joke in which you come out as a lesbian and then you leave me or what?
- NO! - She shouted, so loud she cringed at it - I would never do something like that! And less to you! -
- Then why the HELL did I take a 8 hours long drive in order to see MY girl sharing spit with some girl from her class!? - He shouted back, way louder than her, leaving him panting hard
- She caught me off guard! - She said, making her cringe once again, this time for totally different reasons - At first we were just having some fun dancing and then she suddenly started to talk about what she felt for me how I made her feel... a-and before I could answer back she started kissing me! I was about to step away but then you appeared!
- Don't take me for a foul! - He kept shouting, the veins in his head becoming larger - I saw the whole thing way before it started! I was almost right in front of you by the time you two started, It was only because I called your name that you decided to stop! How can you explain that, huh!? Did you enjoy it so much you forgot you got a boyfriend!? - He clenched his first harder after he was done, nails almost making his palm bled
- It wasn't like that! - Tears were coming fresh from her eyes - I… I… Even if it took me sometime to snap out of it, I still didn't enjoy it! I swear to god I didn't! - was the only response she could let out right now, the alcohol in her system making her unable to think straight
- And how can I know that!? - Tears were coming from his eyes too, angry ones - The only thing I know for sure is that I had to see you kissing this girl you always talk to me about! It fucking hurts you know!? I feel like a clueless idiot who was getting cheated on and didn't know any better! -
With every passing word between them she was getting more ashamed
She was witnessing a break up, caused by her nonetheless, and her guilt is eating her up little by little
And what is worse, the only thing that's taking her mind right now is the fact that for some reason, Mikasa talked about her with his boyfriend
She can't believe herself sometimes…
I know it hurts, ok!? And I'm sorry you had to see that! I really am... It was never my intention to hurt you like this, but you have to believe me when I say I wasn't cheating in any kind of form! I swear to god I would never cheat on you! - Her legs were becoming weak at this point
At that, Eren became silent, still processing what he was told, his nostrils dilated to their limits and crunched up against each other
… Tell the college what she did to you then - He said, low but still clear - Tell them about how she took advantage of you and let them take care of the situation -
What?
- What? - Said the raven haired girl – Why? Who should I even tell to begin with? -
- I don’t know! A professor? The counselor, maybe? - He explained - If you are really telling me the truth, then your college will get involved and they will investigate, what she did is basically sexual assault, you know that right? -
Her blood went cold after hearing that, her breathing becoming heavier and shallow
Was it that serious?
It was just a kiss!
She didn’t even have sex with her!
- … But… that will get her in trouble… - Sasha almost couldn't hear her from how low her voice got - She could get kicked out by this! -
- As she should! - Once again his voice grew louder - If she really did kiss you when you didn’t expect to then she shouldn’t be left unpunished! -
- Yes but you don’t understand! - Hand erasing remnants of tears below her eyes - She’s from a poor village near the outskirts of the city! The only reason she’s here is because of a sports scholarship! She can’t afford breakfast to begin with! - Breath in - If she gets kicked out then she will be forced to go back there! -
She couldn't help but feel like crying after hearing that, her stomach dropping to the floor and her dizziness getting worse, almost making her throw up right there
She can't just act like that and expect people not to fall in love with her
It was just impossible
- She should have thought about that before thinking she could kiss someone else’s girl and get away with it! -
- She didn't even know about you! She thought I was single! -
- Oh is that so!? Why didn’t you tell her about me then!? Is it just her or you just don’t feel like telling people you got someone already!? He said accusingly, a finger pointed at her
- You were supposed to meet each other today! - She shouted - Stop acting so insecure and try to-
- I wouldn't act so “insecure” if you didn’t give reasons to do so! - He shouted back, his throat hurting like tequila burning it - The fact that you don’t want to get college involved just tells me that you got something to hide! Why do you even care if she gets kicked out!? Why are you concerned by her after what she did to you?
Time felt slower after that, turquoise and onyx eyes gazing at each other as if trying to win a staring competition
Sasha could hear perfectly the erratic breaths Mikasa had to take and the way Eren’s teeth gritted against each other
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear her response
- She’s still my friend - She said weakly - I got nothing to hide… I just don’t want to compromise her future over something as silly as this -
…
Sasha can’t tell if that response filled her with hope or doom, honestly
But It left her a bitter-sweet feeling, that's for sure
Still
If only she thought twice about doing all of this…
- “Over something as silly as this?” - He repeated
Mikasa just nodded, a bit insecure, as if regretting saying it
- … Alright then - Simple and without hint of emotion, he started leaving the entrance of the main house - I hope your fucking “friend” is worth it -
- What? Where are you going!? - Mikasa reacted, following him but no daring to get too close
- Back to Shinganshina - He said, seething directly from his mouth - I don’t care about this shit anymore! -
Every step was getting louder and louder, with sound of their argument growing and growing to the point she could feel them right beside her ear and her fear-filled heart doesn’t think it can take it anymore
What is more, the repercussion of her actions were biting her right the butt
Not because it backfired directly at her, but because it backfired to the person she admired the most
The person she loved the most…
Is this how it is going to go then?
She ruins a relationship and just gets away with it?
How could she even keep being friends with her, knowing that she was the reason why his boyfriend broke up with her?
Would she even want to look at her direction, being aware of the fact that she’s the one to blame for how things turned out the way it turned out?
…
No
At least not when she still can help it
- Fuck! - She cursed while suddenly standing up from her hideout, the action making her head hit a branch from the tree behind her, hurting her like hell
It was enough to call their attention though, since the both of then were now staring at her
- Sasha! - She heard Mikasa say, already by her side and holding her by the arm - Are you ok?
Hearing her worry about her filled her with warmth, it made the dizziness in her head go away, not entirely, but at least now she didn’t feel like falling to the ground anymore
Or that was the case, until she felt a pair of eyes burning through her, and the sight alone she took at him made her want to fall to the ground willingly
Why did Mikasa have such a scary guy for a boyfriend?
The guy even got tattoos all over his forearms and neck!
The piercings in both ears and mouth weren’t helping either!
He looks like he sells drugs to little kids outside school for a living!
Why was life being so unfair to her!?
As if he was able to read minds, his scowling face grew larger and his anger became more apparent
Still, shrugging Mikasa’s hand away, she started to get closer to him, her legs shaking like jelly and her hand starting to get sweaty
From above her shoulder, she gave Mikasa a reassurance glance before she got the opportunity to retort
Now she was standing right in front of him, his height towering over so easily even with the high heels she was wearing
Come on, you got this…
I…! - She started, but a sudden attack of nausea didn't let her too - I want to-mmph! - She tried once again, but still her stomach didn't think so, her hands shooting directly at her mouth afraid of something other than her apology coming out
You what? - He said, anger and irritation mixing in his voice, this time being way worse than when he was arguing with Mikasa - What the fuck do you want!? -
I want to apologize! - She told herself in her mind, but still was not able to put her thoughts into words, her head being a mess because of all the drinks she consumed and all the life changing things that happened and could have happened in the short span of an hour
An awkward silence began to form between the three of them, with Mikasa standing a couple of steps away from them, not knowing what to say or what to do
She started to open her mouth once again in order to say something, anything that could make this situation a little bit better at least, but still her body didn't agree with it
Eren just let out a long sigh in response - This is useless - and made his way out once again
And Sasha couldn't have this
Not on her watch
Before he could take a step further, she tackled him from behind making them both fall hard on the ground, with her using both her arms and legs to straddle him
What the hell!? Get away from me! - He whined, spinning successfully in order to have her in front of him and take her out from above, but not being quite able to
Her hands were on his wrist, and her knees were right above his thigh, making it almost impossible to move
And just before he could take her out by sheer force, she lowered and meet her mouth with his, in which could be her most awkward kiss ever
Unlike Mikasa’s, his lips were hard and almost dry and they didn’t move at all, her teeth were clicking harashly against his but once she started trying to sneak her tongue in, he became aware of what was happening
Still it didn’t stop her from doing it
Not even the sudden gasp she heard from behind her could
At this point she could only hope Mikasa doesn’t get mad at her for assaulting his boyfriend, since she’s doing this for her
After all, if she makes him do this then he won’t have any reasons to break up with Mikasa, right? Now that they both kissed her, he won’t have any reasons to be mad at Mikasa!
At least that's what she expects
Once she felt like she was done, she started to pull out from him, her head getting dizzy and heavy pants leaving her mouth
She opened her mouth once again, trying to get her apology out for once, but the sudden blackness her eyes were involved into, along the liquid in her stomach suddenly raising up from there didn’t let her
...
Just after opening her eyes, she felt her heard hurting her like if it was mauled by a giant beast, the blinding lights of the day running through her window making her aware of the fact that she was now on her flat, tucked in her bed
A sigh of relief escaped from her mouth at that
- It was just a dream - She thought, and for once, she felt good in the fact that sh was dreaming about confessing to her instead of getting mad at it being a dream
At least now she didn't owe explanations to anyone
Now feeling better than ever, she turned to her left side, closing her eyes meeting her face in the soft and yet hard flesh of her companion, along dwelling her self in the hot touch of the strong arm wrapping right on her waist
...
Wait a fucking minute
What the hell!?
She shoot up from the bed, taking in the sight of Mikasa of all people right on her side, starting to open her eyes by the sudden action, all the while the arm that belongs to the man behind Mikasa fell from her waist to her (thankfully covered) thighs, the touch sendind her shivers up to the spine
- Hey... - Mikasa greeted her, her eyes heavy and sleepy, one of the straps of her sleep underweard falling off her shoulder, all the while the man behind her just kept sleeping, barechested and starting to touch her unconsciously
Once again...
What
the
hell!?