Chapter Text
The worst days on the SMP began when Tommy crested the hill on the path to Snowchester.
Tubbo was sitting at his kitchen table, nursing a glass of apple juice and staring blankly into its depths, when the door slammed open so hard that it banged against the wall and smacked back into whoever had just abused it. A raspy little fuck very quickly alerted Tubbo to the identify of the intruder, and he lifted his hand away from his inventory. Still rattling on its hinges, the door opened again, a bit tamer than before.
“Tubbo!” roared Tommy, puffing his scrawny chest out and striding into the cabin. “I have met a woman!"
Tubbo scrubbed his hands over the dark circles that Ranboo had kindly likened to a raccoon mask. As Tommy inhaled, ready to continue his story, Tubbo put a hand up and used the other to chug the rest of the apple juice sitting on the table. He turned back to Tommy, who looked positively about to burst, and slowly set down his hand. “You met a woman?” he prompted.
“Well, not properly,” Tommy admitted, picking up a puzzle toy off the cluttered table and beginning to fiddle with it. “But I met her on SMP Earth ages ago and then a few days ago she messaged me and of course I responded, Tubbo, because—”
“Tommy,” Tubbo said, but he was withholding the urge to giggle.
“And she’s coming to the SMP!”
Tubbo turned his full attention to Tommy instead of his failed attempt to decipher the puzzle box in his hands. “She’s what?”
“She’s arriving in a few hours, Tubbo! That’s why I’m here—we have to scrounge up some netherite so I don’t look like a
loser,
especially if she meets Technoblade—”
“Dream is letting her in?” Tubbo asked, because if the server’s admin was anything, it was paranoid. After the SMP had gained notoriety as the home of some of the most famous players across world servers, Dream had placed increased protection into the server’s code to protect his members.
“Well…” Tommy said. Tubbo gave him a look.
“I know another way in!” Tommy burst out, slamming the puzzle enthusiastically down on the table. It was somehow more muddled up than it was when he started. “And I’ve sent her the instructions and the coordinates to Technoblade’s cabin and she said she’s coming in three hours, and I need netherite!”
“Tommy,” Tubbo said seriously, “are we really letting some random girl hack into the SMP just because you want to meet a woman?”
“Yes,” said Tommy, like he was sensing a trick question.
“I am absolutely in. Let’s go steal from Ranboo.”
Two hours and fifty-six minutes later found Tommy standing out in the snowy fields outside Technoblade’s home, clad in full netherite alongside his wingmen Tubbo and Ranboo. Ranboo’s armor fit him perfectly, its joints insulated to protect him if he fell into a puddle or whatever. Meanwhile, Tommy and Tubbo’s were randomly cobbled together from their own supplies, Ranboo’s collection, and Punz’s chests.
Tommy had spotted Phil peering at them from the windows a minute or two before, a bewildered look on his face, but Tommy knew that Phil had seen them get up to far worse than standing out in the yard. Although, to be fair, Tommy didn’t think Techno had gotten up yet, otherwise he certainly would’ve kicked them out.
Ranboo shuffled in the snow, his tail coiling around one of his legs, then the other. “Are we sure this is a good idea?” he asked nervously. “I mean, we’re breaking Dream’s rules. And what if she’s, like, crazy, or—”
“Dream can suck my dick,” Tubbo chirped.
Tommy barked a laugh. “Too true, Bee Boy!” he exclaimed loudly. “Plus, Dream’s the admin and shit. If she’s somehow crazy—which is impossible, by the way, since her first choice in men was Tommy Innit, he can just kick her off."
And—look, Tommy knew he was being irresponsible and shit, but being the odd one out got old after a while. Like, Tubbo and Ranboo had started living together, and Sapnap and Karl and Quackity had their weird little thing, and Dream and George had their weird little thing, and Techno and Phil had their centuries-old friendship, and even Wilbur mingled with them too, and Tommy lived by himself and it was just… If Tommy could just manage to get Tubbo to pay attention to him, then maybe Dream’s wrath would be worth it.
Ranboo twisted his fingers together. “Guys, I really don’t—”
A little pixelated crack appeared in the air in front of them, and Tommy crowed in delight. “Too late, Boo Boy!” he exclaimed. “Here she comes!”
Tommy knew exactly what this process was supposed to resemble: the air would waver like there was a vent of hot air below, then a square white doorway would fade into existence, and then it would shrink until it narrowed down to nothing. But this portal… it was turning pitch black, warping into an empty gap, bleeding darkness out onto the snow. This darkness wasn’t tinged purple like the void, but almost tinted like red and pain.
“Uh, Tommy…?” Tubbo said. Tommy took one step back.
“Maybe Dream’s protections are too strong,” he said uneasily. That must have been it—there was no way for a player to do this to his code, he was positive. “Just wait—we can’t give up on my woman now!”
A silhouette appeared, even darker against the pit of space. One hooked leg appeared. Another. A third.
Tommy swallowed. Beside him, Ranboo’s eyes were huge against the black and white of his face.
A warped shadow pulled itself painfully from the gap in the sky, collapsing into a pile of puddling smoke. Yet as Tommy watched, it rose upwards like both a curling column of steam and a disgruntled horse climbing to its feet after a fall. It vaguely resembled some mixture of a person and a dog, yet towered even over Ranboo. Tubbo seized Tommy’s hand.
Even though it had no eyes, Tommy could feel the moment it fixed its attention onto him.
“Hello, Tommy,” it said—and it sounded like, well, a girl. But it was all wrong, like the words pulled from an old, degraded recording and tuned to a pitch that was halfway out of hearing range. The voice vibrated in the bottom of Tommy’s lungs as it continued, “I’m so excited to meet you! I know you’ve always wanted to meet a girl like me.”
“Tommy,” Tubbo whispered, pulling backwards on his hand. Ranboo was gripping his trident in one hand and his sword in the other, his luminous red-and-green eyes wide as the monster’s shadow arched over him.
“Can’t you see, Tommy?” the thing asked, and its voice seemed to echo into ranges that Tommy’s ears couldn’t reach, because the voice was all he could hear but it still seemed incomplete. He couldn’t move as the thing grew teeth and a horrible, wicked smile. “Can’t you see I want to be your friend, Tommy? Can’t you see we’re going to be friends?”
It stretched out a leg, hooked on one end, and reached for Tommy. “ Run!” screamed Tubbo.
Tommy could have sworn that Techno’s cabin was much closer—he’d been able to see Phil’s face when he peeked through the blinds earlier—but with every step that he took through the snow, the distance yawned wider. His lungs were on fire, black spots blurring his vision, yet Tubbo seemed unwinded as he towed Tommy along. The creature roared as Ranboo jabbed it with the trident, and Tommy was—he couldn’t—
The monster screamed a challenge and whipped around a tail that hadn’t been there a moment ago. It connected with Ranboo’s abdomen with a solid crunch, and the hybrid was sent flying a dozen meters until he smacked into a tree.
“ Ranboo!” Tubbo cried out. The thing swung its head back around towards Tommy and Tubbo, and as it began to gallop towards them, it grated out, “come on, Tommy, just take my hand.”
It must have been colder in the Arctic than Tommy thought, because his boots had frozen to the ground. Maybe he’d stepped in a puddle and it had frozen against the netherite? Whatever the case, Tubbo was tugging desperately on his arm, muttering please, come on, please no, please no, Tommy, Ranboo, come on please, and the monster was five meters away, four, two, and Tommy was frozen in ice—
Tubbo cursed and dropped Tommy’s arm to grip his sword with both hands. In the distance, Tommy watched Ranboo clamber to his feet, using his trident as a crutch.
“Tommy, help me, please!” Tubbo barked, and then the creature was upon them. It had lowered its head like a charging bull and, after momentarily swinging its attention between Tommy and Tubbo, it rammed Tommy clean off his feet. Tommy wasn’t sure if the creature freed his feet from their ice prison, or if its headbutt just reset his diaphragm, but he wiggled his toes and could actually feel them again. His legs weren’t of much use right now, though, since the wind had been knocked clean out of him in spite of the buzzing enchantments on his armor. He wheezed for breath, bracing himself on his side and shaking the snow out of his hair.
Through the tears in his eyes—just from the impact, he wasn’t crying— he watched Tubbo swipe at its head with his sword. With Tubbo’s height, his blade didn't even clear the monster’s chin. Ranboo had dragged himself mostly upright, attempting to make his way over in a limping jog.
Do something, Tommy ordered himself. Please just do something.
He struggled to his feet. Tubbo yelped as the monster grew a fifth leg and used it to smack the sword clean out of his hands. Tommy ran forward, clutching his sword in both hands for fear he’d drop it. The monster reared back like a horse, grinning wickedly, and lunged at Tubbo’s throat.
“No!” Tommy screamed, but then relief weakened his knees and he almost tripped in the loose snow. Tubbo had thrown up a netherite-clad arm in defense, and the monster’s jaws locked around the bracer for a moment before releasing the boy and shaking its head in disgust like a miffed dog. Ranboo hurled his trident just as Tommy hefted his sword and swiped it at the distracted monster’s side.
The netherite hissed and burned as it made contact with the monster’s hide, but the trident bounced off the creature’s smoky hide and nearly beheaded Tubbo. The hilt of Tommy’s sword flashed white-hot, and Tommy yelped and dropped the weapon. It screamed in fury at the wound and batted Tubbo aside with a new leg, turning its entire attention onto Tommy.
“You foul, naughty thing,” it snarled in anger. It was holding onto the girlish tone that it had appropriated, but it sounded like there was a second voice speaking in tandem with it, raspy and deep and dark. “ I wanted to be your friend, Tommy! Now we can’t be friends!”
“I don’t want to be friends with you, you fucking freak!” Tommy spat. The sword was two meters away, melting a puddle in the snow. If he dove… “I want you to go back whatever pit you fucking crawled out of!”
“So much fear,” it purred. Even though it was double Tommy’s height, he hadn’t even noticed it was slowly advancing on him until it was nearly within grabbing range. “I would have been your friend, Tommy, but I think you’ll make a better snack!"
There was no time to make it to the sword—there was hardly time to do anything at all. Tommy barely managed to get his hands in an X shape in front of his face before the monster was looming over him, mouth open to bite—
There was the crack of an ender pearl bursting, and a blur of pink and white tackled Tommy bodily to the side.
The creature let out a cry of rage as it barrelled past them like a charging bull. Technoblade grunted as they rolled down a shallow incline, untangling himself from Tommy as soon as they came to a stop. He was trying to act annoyed, and did nearly trip over Tommy’s legs, but he still took care to avoid clipping Tommy with the sword he had in his free hand.
“Techno?” Tommy squeaked out, and it was about two octaves higher than he intended.
The creature was approaching again, its attention fixed on both of them. Techno hefted Tommy to his feet by the scruff of his red-and-white T-shirt. Despite what everyone seemed to believe, Techno and Tommy were practically the same height, thank you very fucking much , so Tommy did resent the fact that Techno righted him with ease. Techno’s hair was loose around his face, falling a few inches past his shoulders, and he wasn’t even wearing his cape, let alone armor. He looked like he had rolled out of bed, grabbed a sword and his boots, and run outside. He probably had.
“Tommy,” Techno gritted out, “Run.”
“ You’re no fun,” the monster hissed. It grew two more legs, bringing its total to eight. “ Why can’t we just have some fun? You never had any growing up, Technoblade. I can play with you!”
Techno gave it a look that Tommy could only describe as What the literal fuck are you talking about. He redirected this expression to Tommy for a moment. He put his hands up in surrender.
Techno rolled his shoulders and fell into a familiar, relaxed battle stance, leveling his broadsword at the monster with both hands. “I dunno what you are, man,” he drawled, “but I’m pretty good at killin’ things. I doubt you’re that different.”
The creature seethed, smoke curling from its body and freezing the snow in black spikes. “ I will rend you,” it intoned. “I will tear you limb from limb, and then I will suck all the joy out of your little brother here as he drowns in your blood.”
Tubbo’s hand fisted in Tommy’s shirt. Ranboo grabbed onto his free wrist. “Cringe,” Technoblade said, but his eyes flicked over to Tommy. Run, he mouthed again.
One step back. Two. There is no ice clinging to your shoes. You can’t stop now. One step back. Another. Tommy peered over his shoulder as he ran in time to see Technoblade swing out at the monster’s near leg, but the limb disappeared into smoke before he could make contact. The warrior gritted his teeth in frustration as it thwarted his attempts to cut it to pieces. Tubbo kept tugging Tommy along, yet the monster kept making forward progress.
“Be careful not to step in any puddles, Tommy,” it taunted. “You might freeze.”
As if the creature had designed it personally, stiffness overcame Tommy’s limbs like a deer on headlights. He staggered backwards as Techno finally made contact, slicing one of the beast’s legs clean off.
Now, Tommy had heard many unholy sounds in his lifetime. He’d heard Wilbur tune his guitar so poorly that he snapped a string. He’d heard the warzone of howling and yelping during the feeding of Techno’s dogs. He’d heard three creepers explode at the same time in a symphony of rupturing flesh and collapsing rubble. He’d heard Quackity sing.
Absolutely nothing, nothing, that Tommy had ever heard compared to the sound that the creature made when Techno’s netherite blade made contact with its body.
In the distance, the cabin’s windows must have shattered. Snow spilled from branches as the trees in the forest trembled. Tommy’s netherite gauntlets did little to muffle the unholy shriek, and if he wasn’t still hearing the damned noise, he would have sworn he’d gone deaf.
The creature stopped screaming, and its absence echoed in Tommy’s ears as if it never stopped.
Tommy picked himself up off his knees.
Next to him, Ranboo and Tubbo were both similarly collapsed in the snow. Purple blood was trailing from Ranboo’s ears, and his shell-shocked eyes gave him the appearance of a deer in headlights. Tubbo kicked at the black slime trailing around his boots, trying to pull himself backwards with his hands.
Halfway between them and the monster, Techno stumbled to his feet, looking disoriented. He pressed at his ears, and Tommy saw his hands come away bloody. He had lost his sword.
The monster had lost its form and instead returned to its original shape: a mound of black, unguent shadow, resembling a black hole in the middle of the once-pristine snowy field.
“Did he kill it?” Tommy asked, but he could barely even hear himself. His lips were numb.
Ranboo put his hands up. It could have meant anything from How am I supposed to know? to Don’t bring me into this, I didn’t even want to be here.
Abruptly, the inanimate pile of sludge and haze began to swirl until it rose up into a funnel cloud. Techno backed away from it as it solidified and, at the top of the column, it grew a head and a mouth full of fangs. “You’re quick, Technoblade. But I do believe I am quicker. And your dear little brother does seem to be so afraid.”
Simultaneously, Techno and the snake fixed their attention on Tommy. The weight of their gazes seemed heavier than it should, like there was an invisible forty-pound coat draped over his shoulders.
Tommy swallowed, and took one shuffling step backwards.
Technoblade lunged a split second ahead of the creature.
There was a blur of black and pink. Black and pink and red. Black and white and red.
The wind was knocked clean out of Tommy as a strong weight tackled him to the ground. Tommy braced for the needling pain of sharp teeth in his throat…but there was nothing.
“Techno!” Ranboo wailed. Next to him, Tubbo was staring upwards, silent tears streaming down his face. Tommy rolled over.
Technoblade dangled four meters above their heads. The monster had bitten clean through his shoulder—and fuck it all to hell, Tommy was wearing netherite and Techno had no armor at all!—and as they watched, the creature shook Techno cruelly, like a dog tossing a toy. Blood stood out sheerly against Techno’s white shirt, and even though he was trying to use his free arm to bat at the hinge of the creature’s jaw, its grip didn’t budge.
Ranboo looked frantically for a weapon. Tommy tried to steady his shaking hands. Technoblade had just taken a fucking death sentence for him and Tommy couldn’t even get himself together enough to go and help him? The monster had been calling Tommy Technoblade’s little brother, but he certain-fucking-ly did not deserve that title.
Above them, Technoblade wheezed out a gasping, thin breath. A shadow swept over Tommy.
“You let him go!”
Tommy sobbed in relief. Philza, clad in full netherite armor that hummed with Thorns and wielding a netherite-edged trident and Benihime, swept in from above with his great onyx wings and cut the snake’s lower jaw clean off.
Techno dropped to the ground in a limp heap of white and red. Ranboo knelt, muttering, “Techno, Techno,” as he pressed frantic hands to his throat to check for a pulse. He seemed to find one, as without hesitation, he scooped Techno up and sprinted for the cabin. Tommy spared one look towards the battle between Phil and the monster, but the creature did not seem enthusiastic about battling the netherite-covered man flying around its head. But the creature seemed more opaque than it had before… and larger.
Tubbo hooked his arm through Tommy’s and barked, “Let’s go!”
Tommy turned back to Ranboo and Techno’s silhouettes as they booked it towards the cabin, and Tubbo yanked him into a run behind them, chased by Phil’s determined shouts and the aberration’s screamed battle cry.
When they burst into the cabin, Ranboo had already cleared off the table and laid Techno on top of it. It was apparent that something was off already, but Tommy’s fried brain couldn’t put anything together until Ranboo finished cutting Techno’s shirt off and stepped back. Tommy’s throat closed around a sob, or a curse, or a scream, and instead he could only reach forward to grip Techno’s wrist.
Technoblade was famous—or infamous, really—for his shock of pink hair, pointed teeth, and upturned nose. The traces of mob blood running through his veins had given him the barest hint of peculiar features which only served to inflate his reputation.
Techno’s hair had turned pure white from roots to ends. His skin, usually a healthy tan, had turned the same unnatural white. Even his pants and boots, which had been brown, had been bleached to be as blinding as the snow outside. The wound in his shoulder—at least six deep gashes on each side—had stopped bleeding red, but instead the blood trailing from the wounds was black.
If Tommy hadn’t known better, he would’ve guessed that he had dumped a bucket of white paint on him, or that this was actually a marble statue and not Tommy’s living breathing—
The door burst open and all three of them jumped. Phil clambered through, dropping the trident and his sword by the door. “What the fuck was that thing,” he said, still sounding jolly in spite of his soaking wet hair and disheveled wings. “Is—”
Phil caught sight of Techno laid out on the table, pale as a corpse, breathing like his windpipe had narrowed to the size of a straw. All the color drained from his face, and he shouldered Tommy out of the way in his haste to get to Techno’s side.
Tommy swallowed another sob. Eyes hollow, Ranboo looked at Tommy and said, “What did you do?”
All the communicators in the room buzzed loudly in the clammy silence. Tommy wrenched his open with numb fingers and stared blankly at the display hovering in front of him.
<GeorgeNotFound> Everyone get to the community house now
<GeorgeNotFound> there’s something wrong with Dream