Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kaz was falling.

He had been meeting with an upstart gang in the area. A parlay of sorts. Mostly to scare them off from their cocky blunderings into his territory. By agreement it was supposed to be just the leaders speaking together at a canal bridge on the edge of the harbor. Neither Barrel boss actually expected the other to show up with only their seconds. Jesper stood beside Kaz. Inej was undoubtedly hidden somewhere with a view of the entire area. The nearby streets and rooftops were prowling with gang members from both sides.

The proceedings were short, but not as sharp and loud as the gunshot that ended them. A young boy—not one of the Dregs, Kaz was far too smart to bring inexperienced members to a tense situation like this—had fumbled his pistol while sneaking along an adjacent alley. It went off; the retort kickstarted a chain-reaction of violence.

The two gangs rushed from their hiding places along either side of the canal. Kaz and the other boss were sandwiched into the fray from their meeting on the bridge. 

The silver crow whistled through the air before burying itself into the shoulder of an approaching man wielding a club. He dropped. A snarling woman with a pistol came up in his place, but one of Inej’s knives pinned her gun-hand to the railing. Kaz gave a quick nod to the nearby rooftop where the trajectory had come from.

The bridge was a scene of violent chaos. The cobblestones slick with blood and gore in some spots. Kaz kept his back to the railing, swinging his cane at attackers and keeping an eye on his gang. The Dregs were doing well. Some of the other gang were already abandoning the scuffle, melting into the surrounding buildings and alleys.

He swung again, hooking the cane’s beak around the neck of a man, knocking him off balance and using the power to whip him at the railing. Kaz shifted his grip on the cane as the man toppled over, but it had caught on something. A jacket or necklace. Kaz stumbled as he jerked hard to free it from the falling man.  He didn’t want to go through the hassle of retrieving it later.

Off-balanced and peeved at himself for the near-miss, Kaz didn’t have time to see the snarling woman from before rushing up behind him before a sharp pain met his back. A hip struck the railing and the momentum tipped Dirtyhands over the edge of the bridge.

Kaz was falling.

“KAZ!”

Inej? The voice was filled with shock and fear. Not emotions often attributed to the Wraith. Was she alright?

Those thoughts were all that had time to flip through Kaz’s mind as the bottom of the bridge grew smaller in his view. It wasn’t that long of a drop, but time seemed to have slowed as he made his descent.

Then it ended. Dark water rose to meet him in a frigid embrace. 

The shock of the winter-chilled water seemed to lock Kaz’s muscles in place. Or maybe it was the water already rising up around him in his mind. His eyes were open. Kaz turned, and saw the man he had knocked off the bridge moments before. He had long hair. It waved in the current and curled around his broken neck. The body was sinking towards the murky canal bottom. Tendrils of blood darkened the water between the two–spreading from assorted wounds on both bodies.

Kaz felt ill. Precious air left his mouth in a burst of bubbles. NO. He struggled to gain control of his body and fight back. Fight back against the waters in his mind and the frigid waters currently leeching his body of strength. This boy was NOT JORDIE. Kaz WOULD SURVIVE. 

His arms and leg—the combination of cold and the old injury kept the one too cramped to move—peddled stiffly towards the surface. Too slow. Too slow . His chest was burning. Despite the moonlight reflected on the canal growing slightly brighter and nearer, a darkness was creeping at the edges of his vision. Cold hands seemed to catch at his legs, holding him back. Kicking out, not even able to effectively swim in his panic, Kaz looked down, searching for the ghosts holding him back. There were none there. Just the cold darkness and a trail of dark red leading down into the murky bottom. Blood? His body felt numb. He didn’t know if or where he had been injured. Maybe the blood belonged to someone else.

Kaz realized he had stopped swimming. He found he didn’t really care. The darkness had grown. He couldn’t see the trail of blood anymore. The moonlight had almost disappeared. Kaz reached up, trying to grab at the disc of pale light before it left him. 

A quick shadow—not as dark as the creeping black wrapping around him—crossed in front of the light, blocking it. A hand reached down for his. He couldn’t move, couldn’t flinch as fingers gripped his wrist and began pulling him up and up and up. The darkness stayed with him however, and before Kaz could near the surface it completely engulfed him. He knew darkness and cold and then, nothing.

Chapter Text

Kaz was falling.

“KAZ!”

The scream burst out of her even as she leapt off the roof. Rolling out of her fall, she used the drop to launch herself through the fray, dodging the last few straggling fights. She slammed into the railing and frantically scanned the water for Kaz. All she could see were bubbles and small flats of ice bobbing in the recently disturbed water. No boy gasping to the surface and swimming towards the edge of the canal. No annoyed quip about the cold or wet clothes. 

Kaz was gone. 

Jesper ran up next to her, grabbing her shoulder. 

“What happened? Where’s Kaz?” 

There was a slight note of panic in his voice, already fearing the answer from the look on her face.

Inej gave no response. There was no time . She quickly tore off her heavy coat and shoved it at the taller boy before leaping up to crouch on the railing. 

Then she dove.

Inej opened her eyes—they burned in the cold. She spun around searching for the glimpse of a black coat or pale skin. She paused and a small burst of bubbles left her mouth upon seeing another form—green jacket, gold hair, red water—and kept swimming.

Deeper and deeper.

A pressure and need for air burned in her chest when at last she caught a glimpse of something reflective in the gloom. Frantically she kicked her legs towards it.

Kaz .

He was hovering motionless. His pale skin seemed to glow in the scant rays of moonlight penetrating the black. Inej left no more time to think. No time to even care that Kaz hated being touched. She had to save him . 

Inej swam up and grabbed his wrist. Touched his cold skin. Then she kicked madly for the surface above. 

Please live please live please live  

The mantra timed itself to her swift strokes. Pale moonlight grew brighter and brighter until she broke the surface.

Gasping, she leaned backwards and tread water, pulling Kaz up and looping her arm around his shoulder to ensure Kaz’s head cleared the water. There was no responding spluttering for air from the boy.

Inej began kicking harder—dragging him towards the edge of the canal. She reached for the edge.

Jesper’s reaching hands found hers. He was yelling something. She hadn’t realized in her utter focus on the silence from the boy held against her chest. 

“ Saints Inej! I thought you were both goners! C’mon let's get you two out of there.”

With his help the two were hoisted dripping with a slosh on the stone canal edge. 

Inej shivered hard enough her teeth clacked against each other.

Kaz lay disturbingly still where Jesper crouched over him. He was on his back. Arms and legs akimbo and head flopped against his shoulder facing Inej. His eyes were closed.

Jesper was pounding on Kaz’s chest, either tears or water running down his cheeks.

“You. Are. Not. Allowed. To. Die!”

He continued compressions as Inej could only shiver on her knees and watch in shock.

With a violent lurch Kaz curled forward and water spewed from his lips. Jesper helped him half sit up as he choked and finally let in a shaky breath. Then another. And another.

Kaz was alive .

Inej broke out of her shock and crawled towards him. Her fingers couldn’t feel his damp jacket, but she gripped it tight anyways.

Eyes closed and brows squished together into a single furrow, Kaz struggled to regain the breath he had lost in the canal.

“-nej?” his chest rose and fell, “Jes?”

Inej clutched his jacket tighter, too full of words to speak.

“It’s alright.” Jesper placated, “you’re both alright.”

Chapter Text

Jepser wasn’t sure how the evening could get worse. He had a list going in his head. 

1) A late-night freezing cold meeting he really didn’t want to attend.

2) He got separated from Kaz, who then somehow fell into the canal and then didn’t come up. 

3) Inej jumped in the water after him from who-knows-where before Jesper could make a move. 

4) Neither Inej nor Kaz came up for a very. long. time.

5) When they finally appeared, Kaz was way too pale and still for comfort and Inej fell into shock after dragging the boy to shore.

6) Jesper managed to get Kaz breathing again, thank the Saints and whoever else was listening, but now Jesper and Anika were dragging his two mostly-unresponsive friends to the Van Eck mansion.

He really hoped there wasn’t going to be a seventh note on his list tonight.

All this was bouncing around the sharpshooter’s head as he hefted the Bastard of the Barrel over his shoulder up the steps of Wylan’s home. Anika followed closely behind, supporting a barely-upright Inej.

The four burst through the front door, dripping all over the fine imported carpet Wylan abhorred. 

“Wylan! A little help here?” Jesper yelled into the mansion as he hustled into the living room, which held multiple couches and, most importantly, a roaring fireplace.

Anika set Inej on an armchair and began shoving the largest couch as close to the fire as she safely could. Wylan appeared and paused bewildered in the doorway wearing a nightgown and robe for a second before rushing to help Anika. 

As soon as the piece of furniture was in position Jesper unloaded the barrel boss onto it with a grunt. Anika did the same with Inej a moment later.

“I’ll get some blankets!” Wylan called as he jogged out of the room. 

He returned quickly. Jesper recalled the linen closet was just off the main hallway as Wylan handed several large blankets to him from his armload. The three set to efficiently stripping the outer layers of clothes off their friends. Wylan helping Jesper with the (thankfully) unconscious Kaz, and Anika helping Inej struggle out of her wet leathers. 

Inej’s teeth chattered as she clutched one of the thick blankets around her and tucked her legs up onto the couch. She didn’t seem to be completely back yet, her gaze blank as she stared into the fire and burrowed under the covers.

If not for the way Kaz’s pale chest rose and fell in a stuttering rhythm, he looked like a corpse sprawled on the couch. One leg stretched out on the cushions and his back to the high armrest piled with pillows. Jesper tucked a blanket snug around him until he looked like a giant wrapped waffle with just his face peeking out. 

The three stepped back. Examining their handiwork with worry.

“We need Nina.” Jesper turned to Anika. “Can you fetch her? I think she planned to go see the play this evening.”

Anika gave a sharp nod and, with a last glance at the two on the couch, ran out the door to bring the heartrender.

Nina held the death of Matthias like a cooling iron to her heart. Yearning its waning heat, but hurting herself in holding it close. The rest of the crows often encouraged her to seek distraction in things she enjoyed. Jesper hated to interrupt her, but Nina was the only one these two would trust to help. Maybe. He wasn’t completely sure Kaz actually trusted anybody.

“We need to warm them up more.” Wylan announced in a nervous tone. “One of my tutors once told me body heat is the best in an emergency.”

Jesper nodded and began taking his coat and jacket off. Wylan did the same, removing his robe and stepping over the blankets to the middle of the couch.

“Inej,” he said softly to the girl, “I have to give you a hug to warm you up.” So saying, he twisted to edge under the blanket with her and wrapped the edges around them both. Inej twitched, but didn’t move away from seeming sauna of the boy’s warmth. 

Jesper meanwhile was both very thankful and very worried about his best friend’s continued unconsciousness. He knew the boy couldn’t stand physical contact for some reason. In the interest of not being murdered in his sleep later and for Kaz’s own comfort when he woke up, Jesper kept one of the thinner blankets as a barrier between the two. Hopefully it would allow Kaz to warm up without having skin-on-skin contact. He gave the other boy a quick once-over in search of any wounds hidden by layers of clothing. Thankfully the only recent injuries were an assortment of small cuts and scratches, and two new bruises on his back and hip. Nothing pressing that couldn’t wait until after he was warmed up. Jesper wedged himself between Kaz’s back and the pillows surrounding the edge of the couch, effectively holding the Bastard of the Barrel in his lap.

All settled in, the room quieted to just the crackle of the fireplace as Jesper and Wylan worried silently and focused on warming their friends.

Then they waited and prayed.

Chapter Text

Nina burst through the front door of the Van Eck mansion. The gang lieutenant had split off during their run across Ketterdam. With Kaz indisposed she needed to keep the Dregs in line after the disastrous meeting.

The heartrender-turned corpsewitch rushed towards the blanket-covered couch.

“Have they woken up yet?”

Inej gave a little wave from her blanket cocoon. Thank Ghezen. One accounted for and out of the woods judging by her strong, if quick with worry, heartbeat.

“Kaz is still out. He has a small stab wound on his back” Jesper said, a furrow in his brow. Kaz’s head rested half on his shoulder and half on the pillows and blankets surrounding them.

“Alright,” Nina gathered herself and took a deep breath. “First I’ll heal the wound, then see if I can wake him to get his heartbeat going and blood flowing better. It’ll help him warm up and recover.” So saying, she held her hands out in the familiar position and closed her eyes in concentration. She felt the edges of the wound and focused on closing them and connecting the broken tissue and muscle. Once completed, she tried bringing the boy back to consciousness.

Kaz’s breathing picked up.

“–ordie!”

They all startled at the strangled shout from Kaz. Nina stepped back out of potential striking distance as Inej peered in concern at the boy across the blanket piled couch.

Jesper wrapped his arms tighter, muttering soothing encouragement into the ear of the now struggling boy.  

“Jordie!” Kaz rasped, harsher than usual, “No!”

Kaz’s eyes cracked open.

He froze. Head flung back and eyes glued to the fireplace.

A beat passed, and then:

“I’m-not-dead-don’t-burn-me-I’m-not-dead-don’t-burn-me—” 

He was gasping between every other word, but didn’t move or tear his eyes from the flames a few feet away. 

“Kaz!” Jesper tried to turn his face from the flames with a gentle hand on his chin. “Nobody is going to burn you. I swear.”

Kaz’s head flinched back from the contact as if Jesper’s hands were burning–which, considering how cold the boy was, may be true to a certain extent. His now wide eyes found Jesper’s concern-filled ones.

“Jordie?” A harsh whisper.

“It’s Jes.” Jesper hummed patiently, holding Kaz closer and adjusting the blankets to block the view of the flames. “It’s alright. You’re not going to burn. Not while I’m here.”

Nina exchanged worried looks with Inej and Wylan on the other side of the couch. Regular, prickly and often angry Kaz she knew and could deal with. But this boy who cried at the sight of fire and called a name none of them knew the meaning behind, what does she do with him?

Jesper began humming a little tune. It sounded like a lullaby.

Nina crouched closer and held out her hands again–calming Kaz further and sending him into a natural sleep.

They all breathed sighs of relief

Jesper whispered something about ‘this being number seven’, but he was quiet enough not to wake the Barrel Boss. 

Nina sunk into a nearby armchair, watching the pile of blankets that were her friends. With Kaz in a normal sleep and both waterlogged Dregs well into a normal temperature range, they could relax…and consider Kaz’s strange words.

Hours later when he finally returned to full consciousness and began giving sarcastic jabs about Jesper cheating on Wylan with him in order to escape the other’s embrace, it was clear he didn’t remember waking up earlier. He was warm. He was alive. And they were thankful for it–even if it didn’t seem the Barrel Boss himself was.

The rest of the crows decided, without actually speaking on it, never to mention the previous night’s fever-driven panic to their friend. But each kept those rarely-given pieces of Kaz’s story and held them close. 

Perhaps one day Kaz Brekker would open up to his Crows and share himself freely.