Chapter Text
"If I had to do it all again, I know I'd go back to you." -Selena Gomez
Levi has thought about death a lot. Not just in the context of his profession, which defines the extremes of its outcomes in degrees of morbidity and mortality, but also within the framework of his personal life. Afterall, with a mother who is so preoccupied with safety to the point that even decisions as insignificant as the choice of backpack require intense scrutiny, how could he not devote mental energy to the contemplation of the inevitable end for all?
Even so, the prospect of his own death has been abstract. Theoretical. A far off, unpreventable event afforded too much watering attention in the bloom of his youth.
Of course, that was before a machete skewered itself through his gut and intestines. The moment that thick blade pierced his skin, the resulting white-hot agony roughly thrusted him into Death’s clutches, and there was no more thinking. No more analytical dissection of a distant passing. No more perusals of what-if scenarios.
No, there were only feelings and flashes of a life fraying apart at the seams.
One by one, the threads snap.
His mother letting go of his bicycle handlebars. Snap.
Uncle Saul sneaking him extra treats at Hanukkah. Snap.
His laughing friends in his basement the summer after high school. Snap.
Walking across the graduation stage and donning his white coat. Snap.
Commiserating with Taryn in the resident locker room. Snap.
Jo welcoming him into her home. Snap.
Rudra smiling him at for the first time. ….Snap.
Nico closing the gap with a kiss. Sna—
Come back.
…Who?
Come back.
…Ni..?
I need you to come back, Levi.
…Nico.
Come back. Please.
The last thread is a shrinking sliver, and Death is a sweetly painless darkness. So, so painless, and, for a moment, he lets go. He lets go and floats weightless. Unburdened.
Come back.
A pulse echoes through him, and he, revitalized, grabs at that thread and clings to it. Clings desperately, urgently, and climbs. Climbs, climbs, and climbs out of the darkness and back to the light. Back to—
When Levi awakes, Nico, reading over a chart, is at the foot of his bed. Bangs hanging limply against his forehead, skin at the meeting of his neck and jawline damp with sweat, he looks as if he is taking a long break from sleep, and it has started to erode his usual polish. Still, when he glances up and sees Levi gazing back, Nico’s tender smile is so very lovely.
"Hey,” he says softly. Levi’s lips do their best to offer something in return.
“Hi.”
“How do you feel?” asks Nico. He sets down the chart and moves up the bed until his hand could reach out for Levi’s but doesn’t.
So, too exhausted for pretense and unable to dance around anything with a bound foot, Levi reaches out for him instead, and their palms fit back together as smoothly as a relieved sigh slipping out between a pair of lips.
Nico’s beautiful oak brown eyes swell at the touch.
“L-levi?” he croaks, and, this time, Levi musters up enough strength to smile truly.
“Thank you,” he says, “for bringing me back.”