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—I’m fine. I’m fine, ‘Ris, I’m totally fine, see?
Her words didn’t seem to be heard, least of all comprehended, by her best friend. Clarisse continued hugging her so tightly that Silena felt as if her lungs were being squeezed.
She still let her, though. She knew her better than she knew herself, so she was well aware that Clarisse always understood things first with her body, then with her head.
—I’m never leaving you alone —She grumbled, her face buried in Silena’s shoulder—. Ever again.
—Babe… —Silena tried to comfort her with soft strokes on her back—. You can’t protect me all the time. It was just a tiny little robbery.
—“A tiny little robbery”?! —Clarisse did pull back now. She held Silena by the shoulders and looked at her in blatant incredulity—. You were held at gunpoint!
—It was a toy gun!
—You didn’t know that! And it could have been a real one! It could have… You could have- —Clarisse choke on her own words—. I can’t say it. I can’t even think about it. If something would ever happen to you…
—Aw, Clary. Come here, love.
Silena was the one to initiate the hug now. She wrapped her arms around her best friend —which was easy, given that she had always been a couple of inches taller than Clarisse— and held her tightly.
—I’m okay —She whispered, using the same soothing voice she used whenever her younger siblings were upset about something—. I’m always gonna be okay.
—You can’t promise me that —Clarisse pulled away once again, a very familiar frown appearing on her forehead—. You and your family are going up in the world, with your mom owning those new companies and your sister now being an international model and you being a fashion designer…
—I’m not a fashion designer. I’m only in my second year at Parsons; I still have two more to go.
—But your designs are already starting to be well-known in the fashion world. Want it or not, you’re getting famous, Lena. You need proper security.
—Okay, I can ask my mom to hire someone-
—I’m moving to New York with you.
Silena gasped, not even trying to hide her surprise. Had she heard correctly?
—Pardon? Can you please say that again?
—I’m moving to New York. I already talked to my father —Clarisse looked down at the floor. Her hands, always firm, always so secure, now looked as if they didn’t know what to do with themselves—. I’m gonna drop out of military training; I don’t want to do that anymore.
—But… but that’s what you’ve always wanted to do!
—No, that’s what I always thought I wanted… or maybe what my father wanted for me. But I have realized now that I want something else —Clarisse eyed her, briefly, and for a second it seemed really meaningful, as if she was trying to say something else with her eyes, something that she couldn’t say with words. Sadly, Silena couldn’t decipher the message before Clarisse looked away again—. I’ve always wanted something else.
—What is it, love? —Silena got closer to her once again and held Clarisse’s restless hands, trying to put them at ease—. What is it that you want?
Clarisse’s eyes slowly made their way up from the floor, until they met Silena’s. They were big and vulnerable, like Silena had never seen them, and she couldn’t help but wonder what could even affect someone like Clarisse that much —was her new dream that bad? Was it dangerous? Did she plan on joining the mafia or something?
—To become a bodyguard —She finally said, looking away one more time—. Um, I’ve always wanted to become a bodyguard.
—Oh —Silena blinked a few times, taken aback by that statement. Her best friend had never mentioned anything about becoming a bodyguard before. So that was what had her so distressed? Well, she supposed it was a dangerous job after all—. That’s… not what I was expecting, but, if that's what you truly want, then you obviously have my full support. I will help you achieve it in every way I can.
—Thanks —Clarisse cleared her throat and showed Silena a small smile, apparently going back to her usual self after having made her confession—. I already did my research; there’s a great two-year training program in New York. It focuses on weapons, different kinds of combat, surveillance and risk assessment, all that stuff. And I’ll also take extra first aid courses and lessons on driving defensively and everything I can find. I want to be the best damn bodyguard in the country.
—No, darling, you will be the best bodyguard in the entire world —Silena showed her a big smile put a reassuring hand on her cheek. However, before she could continue boosting her best friend's confidence, a realization dawned on her—. Oh. My. God. Does this mean we’re gonna be roommates?!?
Clarisse’s cheeks got a bashful rosiness. Silena had always been secretly proud of (and also very pleased with) the fact that she was the only person capable of making her best friend blush.
—I mean, we don’t have to- I can rent an apartment in your same building, just to make sure you’re safe, but I don’t know if it’s the best idea to… you know, share the same space.
—Are you kidding me?? Of course it’s the best idea!! Best friends and roommates?? It’s every girl’s dream!! —Silena was physically incapable of containing her excitement and squealed in pure delight—. I can already picture the whole thing! We’re gonna have sleepovers every night and bake cookies together and have spa days with face masks and watch rom-coms!!! Doesn’t it sound amazing??
Clarisse swallowed and looked at Silena with big, gleaming eyes.
—Yeah —She said, with a weak voice—. It does.
Surely she was so enthusiastic about the idea that she didn’t know how to properly express it. But that was okay; Silena could do that for the both of them.
She jumped right on Clarisse’s arms and wrapped her legs around her waist. Clarisse’s strong hands instantly held her, as they had done a million times.
—This is the best news ever!!! —Exclaimed Silena, showing her best friend a radiant smile—. You have no idea how much I miss everyone- How much I miss you when I’m in New York! Oh, Clary, it will be so good to have a familiar face there with me- and to be able to see it every day from the moment I wake up! —She lovingly put her arms around the other girl’s neck—. You’re gonna light up my days. And warm them up too! Do you know how cold that city is?? —She unconsciously squeezed Clarisse tighter, as if looking for warmth, but instantly let go when she realized what she was doing—. But now I’m gonna have my own little piece of Californian heat with me to keep me warm!
—Always —Whispered Clarisse, in that soft voice that Silena knew was exclusively reserved for her—. I’ll always keep you safe and warm.
—We’re definitely getting you a king-size bed —Continued Silena, already lost in her imagination, picturing how their new life together could look like—. Get ready for a lot of cuddling under the blankets because I’m not planning on letting you go in all winter —Her fingers found the tips of Clarisse’s messy hair and distractedly played with them, as she let out a small sigh—. It’s so, so cold there, babe. I’m always so cold.
—Don’t worry, princess —Clarisse leaned her cheek against Silena’s arm—. You won’t be cold anymore.
—Oh my God, Charlie! —When the thought of her boyfriend came to Silena’s head, she excitedly jumped down from her best friend’s arms—. I need to tell Charlie! He’s gonna be so happy to hear this!! He’s always worried about me being all alone there; this long-distance thing really gets really lonely sometimes. Let’s call him right now!!
For some reason, the previous gleam disappeared from Clarisse’s eyes.
—Yeah —She said, her voice no longer sounding soft—. Let’s call him right now.