Chapter Text
For five years Mickey has been Married to his everything, his soulmate, his best friend, and lover. And he loves every single second of it, the gentle words, soft touches, and unconditional love that they share has Mickey feeling so full with absolute bliss, there is no way he can get happier.
And everything with Him and the redhead was perfect. They were finally happy and carefree and just together.
They were inseparable, they would go and do everything together. If Ian wanted a shower? well, Mickey followed. If Mickey needed a beer? Well, Ian trudged behind him, taking shorter steps to stay instep so he can hold Mickey's hand, swinging their arms with a giant content grin on his face. If they had work? Well, they work together, same hours, same car and same shit different day. And of course, if they went to sleep? it was always together, no matter if there was an argument brewing... they would always fall asleep wrapped around each other's bodies, grasping each other tightly as if the other was terrified that they would be gone the next day.
Which never happened, they woke up gazing into the eyes of each other lovingly.. argument completely forgotten as they press closer to each other and connect their lips.
Life was everything Mickey had never thought he would have a chance to have.
he owed it all to his redheaded husband.
As strange as it may sound, there is no one else he could possibly love more than Ian. It's just not possible. And Mickey didn't want to tell Ian the truth when they had discussed the child topic.
The truth was Mickey was scared to have a child. He could never love it more than he loves his husband, He knows it might sound obsessive and unhealthy but he doesn't care. Ian is his.
The one thing that he has to himself. His absolute world. He didn't want to share that with anyone, not even a kid.
So Mickey had settled for part of the truth, that he was scared of being a father just like Terry... Only he was terrified of the possibility of having to share his Giant redheaded husband, he was absolutely petrified that in time Ian would hold more love for the child than for him.
Because for Mickey it was impossible, he was mentally and physically incapable of loving someone more than Ian, he just couldn't.
He didn't want to come right out and admit that to the Ginger Giant who owns his entire being, because he is shitty at the whole feeling's thing. But Ian had always been able to read his facial expressions like a book, his eye's apparently always got the better of him always showing exactly how he truly feels, which is, admittedly, terrified.
So Ian had dropped the child topic. And Mickey had his full undivided attention on him for the next five years. In the past five years, Mickey has grown a lot more accustomed to the married lifestyle. He would now talk about the things that upset's him, he would tell Ian what he wanted and needed at certain times of the day, he would happily hold Ian's hand, kiss him, and hug him in public places with no qualms.
He learned how to cook, so he always cooks dinner and Ian always cleans up. After a long excruciating day at work, Ian would massage his feet and hum a tune that Mickey had learned quickly, was a lullaby Monica would sing to the Gallagher kids before she disappeared.
When Mickey would get a cold, Ian would take the day off (of the weed delivery business they had started up together) And look after him, he would cuddle Mickey's smaller frame, kiss his little cold nose, and order in some chicken broth soup.
Mickey didn't want him cooking, that would probably make him feel worse.
And when Ian inevitably gets the illness from Mickey, Mickey did everything and more in return.
The love that he held for Ian was unbreakable. He would do anything for him, absolutely anything at the drop of hat.
The best thing about Ian, is even though he knows how whipped Mickey is, he never takes advantage of it, Mickey always gets back just as much he gives. They had become so domesticated of the past years, and all Mickey can think is Why in fuck did he deny himself this for so long?
So yes everything had been going so great. Couldn't be better, until he started developing a phobia. And it had affected him immensely, which ultimately effects Ian.
It all happened so quick too, one day Mickey came across the photo he took of Ian, when he was 16 years old, just filling out into his lanky body, his freckles becoming less prominent and his face becoming more rugged and manly, no longer the pre-teen redheaded giant freckle, but the hottest boy in the southside (Mickey might be a little Biased with that one)
He took in the photo, his eyes softening. How he Missed This version of the love of his life. The mentally stable, strong brave young man that fought for anything he wanted.
And Mickey was lucky enough to be one of those things the young redheaded Gallagher had wanted.
His eyes start to get teary looking at his younger husband's innocent, naive and untroubled little face. How Mickey had longed to be everything he needed and wanted for him back then.
Only Mickey wasn't innocent like Ian was. He was ruthless and brash, he needed to be to survive under Terry's roof, But he would give anything to go back in time to the day Ian had begged him to just admit that he was something, anything but a warm mouth.
And all Mickey had done was beat him. He had hit the most precious thing to him, he had beaten the most important thing to him.
You love me and you're gay
"Fuck" Mickey sighs. He can even hear his voice, his broken voice pleading Mickey to just fucking love him. Mickey can remember how his fists felt when he had hit the porcelain skin of his one true love. "Stop" he shakes his head to rid away from the feelings of disgust he holds for his younger self.
he snaps himself out of it when he hears the door close behind him.
Ian
He feels himself putting the photo away and quickly rubs his eyes. He feels strong hands grip his hips and feels a pull. He is suddenly flush against Ian's chest, warm, comforting, Home.
"Hey baby, whatcha doin'?" Ian whisper into his ear then kisses the sensitive part there.
Mickey feels a shudder a tingle creep up his spine. he puts his hands on top of the hands Ians holding him with and leans back into the touch "Nothin' my love" he looks at the photo then sighs, turning in Ians Embrace to face the best looking mug the world has to offer "Found a photo of 16 year old you" He smiles up at the redhead.
Ian chuckles "Mhm your little lanky matchstick husband huh?"
"I fucking loved him" Mickey kisses his husband's lips "I fucking love you"
Ian giggles into his husband's kiss and kisses him back fervently, before he gently slides to his knees and pulls down Mickey's sweats, and engulfs his half-hard cock with his mouth.
Mickey looks down at ians beautiful face and groans. He sees His husband looking back up at him with nothing less of love and affection and suddenly Mickey is locking his eyes on a pair of eyes extremely similar, but much younger, innocent.
And before him, he imagines Ians 15-year-old self. Fuck he's beautiful, how did Mickey ever think he didn't want him? How did Mickey last as long as he did without kissing him? How badly had that hurt him? he continues to look down at the 15-year-old and he sees the crooked smile forming around Mickey's shaft "I love you Mickey" He squeaks out, nowhere near as deep as Ian's full-grown Manly voice but enough to buckle Mickey. I'm gay and I love you. He should have told him, how could he not?
How the fuck has 15 years passed? it felt like he had lost so much time with the one person he never wants to leave. The one person he loves more than life itself. This is not okay, soon it's gonna be another 15 years, then what? no, no he can't lose him.
He's so far gone, that he doesn't realize he's crying, he feels soft hands on his cheeks and a mesmerizing voice, confident and full of concern "Mickey, baby, are you okay?"
Mickey is now seeing his husband, his chunky, hot husband, the adorable 15-year-old nowhere to be seen. he dives into Ian's chest and breaks, just fucking cries, full-blown sobs into Ian's neck, and whispers out "I want longer"
"What do you mean honey?"
"I don't want you to go, never"
"I'm not going anywhere baby bear" Mickey would usually hate that name but when he feels soft and insecure it soothes him. well it usually does, but he's having trouble breathing and he doesn't know what the fuck to do.
"hey! Breathe okay" Ian kisses his cheeks "I'm here"
"For how long?" he mumbles, sobs shaking him as he tries to speaks, tears, and snot mixing together as he tries his damn hardest to get his breathing back to normal.
"I'm here to stay, til death do us part right?" Ian thought he was being helpful, little did he know, he added a whole jerry can of gasoline to the fire.
Mickey's eyes widen "W-what!?"
"Mickey, I would literally have to die to leave you" Fuckin Ian.
Mickey shakes his head violently. Ian dying? no. What if Ian dies first? Mickey can't live without him, and what Mickey just get's to watch his bright light fade as the year's pass? See the life get sucked out of his bright green eyes and face... watch his beautiful flame-colored hair turn grey? NO! Mickey breaks more, he cannot let that happen.
He will never want to see the day Ian can no longer run himself to exhaustion or having to start using a walking stick because he's too old to walk himself, no, no, no.
Everything is too much, he can see the blue clock hanging on the bedroom door, he gets up, snatches it down, and pegs it so hard against the wall that it shatters everywhere. then he sinks to his knees "Stop, stop" He repeats.
He feels himself being pulled into Someone's lap, He feels strong arms wrap around his entire body, he feels water on the back of his neck from someone's tears and he hears, ever so gently "Shh baby, it's okay" Whispered into his ear.
"I want eternity with you"
Ian breathes in sharply "You need to tell me what's going on inside this beautiful head of your's"
"I want the time back that I wasted" Mickey whimpers "So much fucking time was wasted"
"What time are you talking about?"
"Time with you, I wish I met you sooner, I wish I fully had you sooner! I wish I was fucking brave and good enough for you sooner! why did I waste so much time without you, I want it back, so I can spend it with you... I want you forever"
"I want that too Mick, but it's done, all we have is the time given"
"I don't know how much longer that is Ian!" Mickey is getting louder now.
"No one does Mickey, Time is unpredictable"
"That's not good enough, I'll never know when the last time I hold you will be the last time... what if we argue and something happens and the last words to each other were anything, other than love? what if something happens to you, I can't do anything without you Ian! I'm codependent with you"
"Baby, please"
Mickey shakes his head. "There has to be something I can do, research, sacrifice, fucking get a vampire to bite us or something... we can be young and together for eternity"
"It doesn't work like that Mickey, everyone has their time, and I know you feel like a lot was wasted but you're only 34 me 32, we aren't even halfway finished yet baby"
everyone has their time
"So I'll never leave your side"
"what?"
"Yeah, if we stay together we can make sure nothing happens to endanger the other, we'll get another 40 years to find something to keep us living with each other forever"
"Mickey that's not a way to live"
"You are my only way to live Ian... you're everything to me"
Ian Looks into his husband's pained, scared eyes and nods "Okay"
"Okay?"
"Yeah, we'll stick together... even more than usual"
Mickey nods furiously "I'll never say goodbye... not to you"
And for the next couple of months, that's how it was. Wherever Ian was... Mickey was playing shadow. The bathroom, His morning runs, His night out with friends, His little smoke breaks, Mickey was there. And Ian loved him more than anything, but this is getting ridiculous, so when he sees Mickey go to the bathroom for a pee, he grabs his keys and wallet and flees the house.
He just needs an hour, one fucking hour to himself. And he needs to find someone who can help Mickey with this phobia of time. It's heartbreaking watching someone you love, truly lose themself with something like this.
Time doesn't stop for anyone or anything, it's a ruthless, unpredictable nasty thing... but it's also valuable and important.
Ian personally would love to spend eternity with Mickey, but he couldn't watch his siblings, friends, and grandkids die and live. That wouldn't be fair, that would be torturous.
He gets in the car and leaves the complex, leaving Mickey and leaving his problems just for an hour. he'll be back with help and support. he looks into the review mirror, looking at his fading complex building "I fuckin' love, and I will get you some help" He turns back to the road searching for a soul to help his raven-haired beauty.
Mickey came out of the bathroom with a smile on his face. These past few months he has been glued to Ian's side. knowing that the redhead is safe is a huge relief, he had removed all the clocks, calendars and whatever had the time on it out of the apartment.
He couldn't stand the tic tic tic sound of the fucking clock. Like it's counting down your lifetime, every single Tic is a second less he gets with his love.
speaking of which he heads out into the living room looking for his husband, but can't see him.
He checks the bedroom. not there
He checks the patio Not there
He checks the kitchen Not there, not there, not fucking there!
He yells out a sound of frustration "IAN GALLAGHER!"
Nothing.
He calls his husband's phone and follows the sound to the kitchen. He curses "fuckin' hell Ian," he says worriedly when he sees the keys and the wallet is missing.
He wouldn't, would he? He wouldn't leave the second Mickey lets his guard down, would he?
He decidedly calls Lip to see if Ian went there.
"Hello?"
"Oh hey man, It's uh Mickey"
"Yeah I got that, it says your name when you call"
Mickey lets the prick's snarky comment slide.
"Ian with you?" Straight to the point.
"Nah haven't seen him since freds 5 birthday"
"Uhm okay, if he shows let me know yeah?"
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just being paranoid, is all"
"I'll let you know the second I see him"
Mickey hangs up without saying thank you, lip already know's he's grateful.
5 hours have passed since that fucking phone call, and Mickey hasn't heard anything.
Nothing from Ian.
Nothing from Lip
Nothing from anyone, just fucking radio silence!
Mickey had been spending the past hours walking around the fuckin' westside trying to find his husband. It has been years since he has been this long without him and Mickey is starting to feel fucking homicidal, to Make matters worse every time he looks at his phone an hour seems to zoom past. hours he could have been spending with Ian.
Fucking Ian!
He is really starting to worry, he is pulling at his hair, rubbing his bottom lip, and pacing back and forth, the only thing that can calm him is his husband, right here, right now, happy, safe, and home.
He gets his house keys and is about to leave for another search party when he hears his phone ringing, he looks at the unknown scribbled across the screen and immediately answers it, knowing Ian left his phone at home, so he needed to use some other phone.
He quickly answers "You better be my husband and you better be home soon" He snarls into the device.
he hears a breath then a little uncomfortable cough "Mr. Gallagher?"
"speaking," he says worry evident in his voice, the young feminine voice on the end is definitely not his husband.
"We have an Ian Gallagher here at the Royal Chicago Hospital"
Mickey's heart drops to the center of the earth "M-My Husband" He stutters "What happened?"
"I cannot discuss these matters over the phone, I think it's best that you stop by to be updated by the surgeon himself" She speaks apologetically but also robotically like she's had this same conversation a thousand times, she probably has.
ian is hurt, enough to have a surgeon involved.
He says nothing to the lady on the phone he flees his apartment and hails the first taxi he sees.
"Where too?"
"Royal Chicago Hospital" He replies, sounding defeated, lost, and completely heartbroken.
As soon as he arrives at the Hospital he throws a fifty at the man not caring if it's more or less and sprints inside the building. he finds the triage desk. And spots a young ditzy blonde girl batting her eyelashes at a doctor.
"Excuse me!?" he says rushed, not caring if he broke up a conversation.
"Ohh sorry, sir! how may I help you?"
"I'm here for Ian Gallagher"
She types something into her shitty fucking keyboard and looks back to him a solemn look on her pretty delicate pale face. "Take a seat, Dr. Cupen will be with you soon"
"Can I please just see him... please" He pleads.
She looks at him sadly and shakes her head "He's still in theatre"
"What?"
"Surgery, he's still in surgery"
And so, all Mickey can do is wait.
and wait he did for another 6 hours.
He didn't leave, not once, his ass stayed on that fuking chair and he waited.
He saw a Doctor walk up to triage with a folder and speak to the dumb blonde before they both looked his way, he straightened up immediately alert. He saw the doc nod at the girl then start walking towards him "Mr. Gallagher?"
Mickey nods
"Ian Gallagher is your husband?"
Mickey once again nods.
"Right" the Doc coughed "Mr. Gallagher was brought in with severe head trauma, a broken arm, and a double compound fracture on his leg, the Tibia, to be exact"
Mickey nods not understanding anything after the 'severe head trauma part'
"He is in critical condition, we had to operate on his leg to completely reset the bone and put it back in place, now the tibia is one of the biggest bones in the body and his had been a compound fracture, do you know what that means?"
Mickey shook his head "No"
The doctor nods "It means his leg had snapped so drastically that the bone itself had pierced the skin"
Mickey's eyes widened "How did the surgery go? is he okay? I can see him right?"
"You can see him"
Mickey exhales in relief before he realized the doctor didn't answer his other questions "Is he gonna be okay?"
"Walk and talk with me" they start walking and the doc starts talking "He's in a coma at the moment"
Mickey can feel his entire life cracking as he walks these halls. "When will he come out"
"I am sorry Mr. Gallagher, but it's more of an if at this stage"
Mickey's feet stutter and he nearly face plants we all have our time Ians voice,
This cannot be happening. How did he lose everything in a matter of 11 hours? He's having trouble breathing again. Because Ian isn't here, ians time could quite possibly be up and Mickey has no solution, no fucking clue on how to fucking fix this.
His husband could never wake up. He might never see Ian smile again. hear his laugh. feel his arms wrap around him. never kiss him. And Before Mickey knows it.
He's fainted.