Chapter Text
☀☀☀
He had a very large daisy on his right thigh.
It looked big and healthy and happy.
Hoseok drew a very large dick on his left thigh.
--------
"Holy shit!" Jimin said loudly, the second he pulled the door open. "You're cute!"
Hoseok couldn't hear what the person at his door replied with and neither did Jimin because as soon as the words were out of his mouth he was tackled to the floor by Jin.
His front door was now wide open and gave his visitor an unhampered view of the inside of his apartment.
Hoseok squirmed and kicked from where he lay on the floor but Taehyung and Namjoon refused to let go.
"Kook!" Hoseok yelled. "Who's at the door?"
"Nice try!" Jungkook told them from where he was huddled behind the sofa. "I don't want to die!"
Hoseok didn't know how the night had descended into such glorious madness.
They had been playing a game of Jenga. JENGA!
He huffed and scratched and managed to get out of Namjoon's and Taehyung's clutches and they happily went on to attack each other.
Hoseok was out of breath when he finally came up to the door so it wasn't a feat but he still had the air knocked out of his lungs.
(Holy Mother of Ducks)
The guy standing hesitantly in the doorway was ridiculously cute. Soft cheeks and a round button nose and plush lips that were all getting pinker by the second. He was shorter than Hoseok but stockier and Hoseok wanted nothing more than to fall into this stranger's aura and live there forever.
They blinked at each other for a long minute during which Hoseok struggled to keep his hands to himself. It wasn't his fault if the guy was getting more squishable by the second.
(And so RED)
Too late it occurred to him that he should probably say something.
He opened his mouth to try, the Lord knew he wouldn't be able to string a few words together, let alone a sentence, but he had to try for fear of coming across a lunatic.
The cute squishy man in front of him beat him to it though.
"I just moved in there." He blurted, pointing to the apartment right bang opposite Hoseok's apartment. "Came to say hello."
Hoseok's insides were SINGING.
"Hello!" Hoseok squawked a bit too loud.
"I'm Yoongi, and your friend looks like he's suffocating." His neighbor helpfully pointed out.
Hoseok turned in time to see Jungkook spring up from behind the sofa and flatten Jin who had Jimin in a loose stranglehold on the floor.
Hoseok flapped an unworried hand in their direction trying to indicate they'd be fine. They were all used to it and it would do Yoongi some good to be exposed to the shitshow that was his life at an early stage.
"I'm Hoseok." He said, extending a hand which Yoongi met halfway. To say he felt electricity shoot up his spine would be an understatement. No, his insides were slowly but surely lighting themselves on fire.
For a split second, it looked like Yoongi had felt the same thing because his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows drew together but the expression was gone in a blink.
(Utterly impossible, Hoseok. Wishful thinking will get you nowhere)
Hoseok panicked slightly when he felt Yoongi pull his hand away. No, Yoongi had to stay.
"Have dinner with us?" Hoseok offered, desperate to the very core of his being for Yoongi to exist close to him for a little longer.
Yoongi blinked at him for half a beat. "Sure" He said, shrugging like he was in the habit of having dinner with random strangers.
"What?" Hoseok asked, not sure he heard the man right because his heart was beating way too loud in his ears.
Yoongi immediately looked awkward. "I'm sorry, but you did offer. Was it one of those polite offers that I should have immediately declined without further thought?"
"No!" Hoseok yelled.
Yoongi gave him a bright smile. Cute teeth and lots of gum but so inherently suited for Yoongi that Hoseok was ENDEARED.
(Have I died?)
"Hoseok, you still have my hand." Yoongi pointed out, not looking in the slightest bit put out. He was smiling lightly still.
"It's a nice hand." Hoseok observed, looking down at their hands clasped together. A broad palm and long fingers with veins corded in a way that made it incredibly sexy.
Yoongi smirked at him. "You have no idea."
(MAYDAY! MAYDAY!)
"I resent that." Hoseok said and immediately regretted it.
Yoongi however..
"I'm happy to change that." The words were said solemnly but Yoongi's eyes were full of mischief.
(MEEP)
Hoseok didn't waste a second.
He took a large step into the corridor and made to pull his door shut. "Your place then."
Yoongi let out one bark of laughter that scrambled Hoseok's insides. "Dinner first."
"You're mean." Hoseok growled but pulled Yoongi gently into his apartment.
Then Hoseok had to take a second to gulp down some air because he had miscalculated and was suddenly way too close to Yoongi. He shuffled out of the way and kicked his door shut.
"What's happening here?" Yoongi asked, raising an eyebrow at him while moving to remove his jacket after Hoseok had given him back his hand.
(Do not focus on the immediate dumpling-i-fication of your new neighbor, Hoseok)
(It's hard to come to terms with the fact that a guy who wore a leather jacket and severely ripped jeans with combat boots would be wearing a yellow sweater that looked soft enough to be made of cotton candy. He also has like twenty piercings in each ear)
(Okay not twenty, more like five in each, with dangling chains and shiny hoops and I am but a weak man.)
(Hoseok, stop having internal monologues. Your neighbor asked you a question.)
Hoseok had to tell his brain to walk him a bit further into the room and not stand and gawk at how adorable Yoongi looked in his massive yellow sweater.
"Tickle fight." Hoseok said, raising his arms to gesture at the writhing mess on the floor that was Jimin, Jungkook, and Jin.
Then Taehyung attacked him and given that he wasn't prepared, he went down like a sack of potatoes. Yoongi had to jump to get out of their way.
Hoseok could barely see Namjoon walk up to Yoongi between the flying limbs that belonged to Taehyung.
"TIME OUT!!" Jin yelled and it sounded like he was talking through a potato.
Hoseok turned to see Jimin laying flat over Jin's face with Jungkook sitting on the poor man's thighs and tickling his torso.
"BABE, I'M DYING!"
And a shadow passed over Hoseok. Namjoon was rescuing his man.
Within 30 seconds the three were pulled apart and deposited individually into Hoseok's sofas. Horribly disheveled and red in the face but alive.
Namjoon rounded on them and plucked Taehyung up and put him in the middle of his soulmates. Hoseok starfished on the floor.
"Guys this is Yoongi." Namjoon said to the room at large and gestured to where Yoongi stood by his door. "He's Hoseok's new neighbor, moved in today. I've spoken two sentences to him and have deemed him worthy. Jin and I call dibs - trust me on this babe."
(Over my dead body)
The room erupted.
"Jiminie saw him first!"
"You can't just call dibs on a whole ass person, Taehyung tell him."
"That's not fair. It's gotta be official. Rock paper scissors?"
"Oh, he's gonna look absolutely SPIFFING on our Christmas cards, Joon! "
"He's MY fucking neighbor!"
"How about you guys take turns?" And all heads whipped around to Yoongi who looked a bit whiplashed but amused nonetheless. "Then I can make an informed decision."
"Smart man!" Namjoon said.
Within minutes, the guys had a bunch of dates planned.
Hoseok wanted to fight too but moving was an issue because Yoongi was grinning down at him.
"You good?" He asked, reaching out a hand to help pull him upright.
"Pretty sure Tae cracked one of my spleens." Hoseok said, standing up directly in Yoongi's personal space.
"You don't have -" Yoongi started to say but was picked up by Jungkook and put in the middle of the sofa.
"Which days are you free?"
Yoongi still looked mighty whiplashed but the gummy smile didn't fade. He flashed another blinding smile at Hoseok when Jin started arguing with Taehyung.
(Be still my beating heart)
Then Yoongi went and giggled when they tried to get him to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement about each other's plans.
Hoseok promptly left the room to whisper-yell in the kitchen sink.
When he was done falling apart over a giggle, he took the stacks of take-out they had ordered for dinner and placed them neatly over the coffee table. He went back for plates and cutlery and then sprayed all the humans on the two sofas with the water sprayer meant for misting plants.
"I'm starving so we will eat now." Hoseok declared amid indignant yelps.
Phones and calendars were put away and everyone reached for the food.
—
Things I know to be true
(Yoongi edition)
#1 - Has a tendency to scratch behind his ears when nervous.
#2 - Has been eyeing the basket of tangerines on the kitchen counter. Probably has a thing for tangerines.. Or wicker baskets.
#3 - Is a music producer. Freelances with Namjoon's company. (Small world)
#4 - Has a dog. (Holly)
#5 - Born on March 9th, 1993
#6 - From Daegu. Only moved to Seoul one week ago.
#7 - Will go red in the face at the smallest compliment.
#8 - Sucks at holding eye contact when nervous.
#9 - Ability to bullshit = 99/100
#10 - Can hold his own against Jungkook and win when it comes to lamb skewers.
—
"You're welcome to stay the night." Hoseok offered.
The take-out boxes had been discarded and Jungkook and Jin were playing an intense game of Mario kart, sprawled out on the floor. Jimin had fallen asleep with his head in Jungkook's lap. Taehyung and Namjoon had commandeered both sofas. Soft snores (Taehyung, Jimin and Namjoon) mixed with whispered profanities (Jin and Jungkook).
"I live right across the hall, Hoseok." Yoongi said with a laugh. He was pulling on his jacket and Hoseok was suddenly hurting.
Hoseok had watched Yoongi the whole night. Namjoon and he had genuinely hit it off but Yoongi had been fair with his attention, chatting up everyone in the room and getting to know them as a group.
And Hoseok didn't want him to leave.
"We don't concern ourselves with minor details in this household." Hoseok told him, standing up from his seat on the floor and walking up to the front door.
Yoongi looked tired when he laughed but it didn't affect the brightness of the sound.
"I'll see you soon, Hoseok."
☀☀☀
There were three stars on his collarbone.
Hoseok took the fattest marker he had and scribbled all over his torso.
---------
"Oh no."
Yoongi startled but his expression eased out when he noticed Hoseok leaning against the door frame.
Yoongi was trudging along the hallway to get to his apartment. Tired and jittery, hands flapping about in his leather jacket.
"What did they do to you?" Hoseok asked despite knowing exactly what they had done to him.
"Haunted house." Yoongi said, eyes wide and pained. "They took me to a haunted house."
"Escape room, Yoongi. It was an escape room." Hoseok sniggered.
"Could've fooled me." Yoongi said, fumbling for his keys.
It was their love language, the trio from hell. Jungkook blatantly ignored rules and Taehyung and Jimin took it upon each other to be scarier than what the place had to offer. Jump scares and freaked out yells multiplied by two.
The woman who owned the place loved the babies on account of them all having worked there at some point during their teenage years. She let them do whatever they wanted.
"I have pictures of you, Yoongi." Hoseok said, matter of factly. Adorably annoyed and just so done, Yoongi had looked like a particularly murderous kitten in the twenty different pictures the guys had sent to their group chat. There was even one where they had made him look like a half-eaten zombie. Hoseok had to do the whisper-yell thing again.
Yoongi eyes slit. "And I have pictures of you, Hoseok, you ain't special."
(Wait, what?)
"By the expression on your face, I'm guessing you aren't aware that the babies use you guys as memes." Yoongi said, trying to tone his smile down.
Hoseok was going to kill someone but it could wait. Yoongi was half inside his apartment and he was taking the warmth with him and that was a more pressing issue.
"I know you had dinner, so would you like some ice cream?" Hoseok offered, knowing what the answer would be but still hoping.
"Seok, I have paint in places where paint doesn't belong. I need a shower." Yoongi said, snorting.
(SEOK?)
"I have a fancy shower." Hoseok said, raising a suggestive eyebrow.
Another snort of laughter. "Goodnight." Yoongi said firmly and closed his door. Hoseok could hear him chuckling behind the door.
—
Things I know to be true
(Yoongi edition)
#11 - Screams like a little girl when frightened (courtesy Jimin)
#12 - Will take food from his plate and put it in yours if he knows you like it. (Courtesy Taehyung)
#13 - Is useless at saying no to Jungkook. (Courtesy Jungkook)
#14 - Owns too many beanies. (Set on fire posthaste. Hair too cute)
#15 - Tired Yoongi = adorable Yoongi
☀☀☀
Hoseok had flowers on his right hip. They had vines that trailed all along his upper thigh.
He wrote 'hope you have a week full of interrupted sneezes' on his left hip.
--------
"Are all your friends crazy?" Yoongi blurted when Hoseok opened the door.
Hoseok knew he had been on a date with Namjoon and Jin and they'd taken him to a cooking class… where Jin was the instructor and knives were allowed in the room.
"For sure, Yoongi." He said, laughing lightly. Yoongi looked at him like he'd grown another twenty five ears.
"Why did he let Namjoon touch the knives, Hoseok?" Yoongi said, genuinely concerned. "They've been together for a decade now! How could Jin not know that Namjoon would slice his hand open?"
Hoseok groaned. He knew there had been a trip to the emergency room but not the specific reason.
"Joon's developed thick skin. He doesn't even feel that kind of stuff now." Hoseok tried, intending to calm Yoongi down. The little man still looked like he wanted to go fight someone. "We tried wrapping him up in bubble wrap and the man promptly fell down and twisted his wrist. All the precautions have been taken, Yoongi, there's just a limit and we reached it about three years ago."
Yoongi let go of some of his tension. Hoseok watched his shoulders relax and smiled. He liked that Yoongi was genuinely concerned about Namjoon.
"You like them a lot huh?" Yoongi asked, but Hoseok felt he already knew the answer.
"I studied with Joon and Jin. The other three I adopted at dance class." Hoseok said, unable to tamp down his feelings towards his friends. "I'd die for all of them."
Yoongi was smiling at him. Soft and happy.
"Understandable." Yoongi said, not elaborating. "Bought you ice cream." He said, lifting his hand to reveal a little bag of ice cream tubs. "It's almost physically hurting me to be so near mint- chocolate ice cream but I was told you enjoy it."
Yoongi's whole face had scrunched in distaste and Hoseok was dying all over again.
"I know I have some chocolate ice cream leftover from the last time they were all here." Hoseok said. They'd both had dinner, him at his studio and Yoongi at the hospital cafe, so it was alright to ask him to stay for dessert. "Eat with me?"
Yoongi instantly looked like he wanted to say yes, eyes bright and enthusiastic, but he stopped himself.
"I have some work to turn in before midnight." He sighed.
(Hoseok, please pull yourself together. Yoongi is allowed to have a life that doesn't involve you.)
Hoseok nodded and Yoongi smiled in a flat line. Cheeks bunched up and resigned.
"Thanks for the ice cream then." He said, reaching out to take the packs from Yoongi.
And then because Hoseok was an idiot, he said. "This isn't a competition for who gets to date you, you know that right?"
Yoongi blinked at him for a long while. "I think I'm aware."
Hoseok tried to gauge the reaction. Yoongi looked almost like he was smiling. "I'm fine with being pre-approved by your friends before I actually ask you out."
Hoseok choked on air.
"Jin said, and I quote, 'that boy is useless at judging character' and then he made me dice a shit ton of onions. I'm still confused as to what the parameters are but I'm one hundred percent on-board." Yoongi said, laughing now.
"If you're relaxed enough to be laughing then they're doing something wrong." Hoseok observed. Yoongi's face immediately pulled itself together and managed to look panicked.
"What are you doing?" Yoongi asked.
Hoseok had extracted his phone and was halfway through yelling in the group chat that he didn't want to find them slacking off.
Yoongi's phone immediately started pinging.
"Traitor." He huffed, not moving to check his messages.
"Good night, Yoongi." Hoseok said, barely hiding his glee. He leaned into Yoongi's space and left a tiny kiss on his cheek.
Then he closed the door in Yoongi's stunned face.
—
Things I know to be true
(Yoongi edition)
#16 - Cheeks are too soft to be allowed.
#17 - Doesn't like mint-chocolate
#18 - Doesn't faint at the sight of blood (courtesy Namjoon)
#19 - Surprisingly calm under pressure (courtesy Jin)
#20 - Is quite an accomplished cook (courtesy Jin)
#21 - 75% of his wardrobe is black. The rest is pastel and there is no way to prepare for what he will look like.
#22 - Works late hours. Some from home, some from his rented studio.
#23 - Cheeks are way too soft to be allowed
☀☀☀
He had an elaborate string of birds on his rib cage.
He drew an ugly spider on his thigh.
—-----
"Call it off!" Yoongi yelled, as soon as Hoseok opened the door.
"Looks like they've stepped up their game." Hoseok said, nodding serenely at a Yoongi who looked like he had been forced to eat a live octopus.
Yoongi groaned, loudly.
"You should've said you were allergic, Yoongles." Hoseok said, moving into his apartment. Yoongi followed and shut the door.
(Aw yissssss)
"That would have pushed them to take me somewhere twenty times worse, Hoseok." Yoongi said, falling into the sofa. "I'm not that stupid."
"You learn fast, one point for you." Jin said, coming into his living room.
(Shit on a popsicle, Hoseok. You forgot Jin was over for dinner.)
Yoongi shot off the sofa.
"KEEP YOUR POINTS!" He yelled and was out of the apartment before Hoseok could say anything.
"The fuck just happened?" Hoseok asked Jin who was laughing maliciously.
"He's banned from fraternizing." Jin said, shrugging.
Hoseok wanted to strangle the man.
Jin must've smelled his murderous intentions because he put some extra distance between. "You're really terrible at picking people, Seok. Remember Dohyun? And Jaehwa? And for that matter, Hana? We'll just stamp him with our seal of approval first and then you can do whatever you want with him."
"I picked you guys." Hoseok grumbled, flopping into his sofa exactly like Yoongi had a few minutes earlier.
So his track record wasn't exactly spectacular.
Dohyun turned up late for their first date and then proceeded to tell Hoseok that dancing wasn't a viable career option. Jaehwa was dating at least two other people while he dated Hoseok. And Hana.. she had tried to move in with him somewhere at the eight day mark.
But whatever.
He'd picked some decent people to date. There was Minjun, who had to break it off cause of work (he had to move to Japan and Hoseok wasn't too beat up about it). There was Iseul who realised that yes, she did in fact love her soulmate (Hoseok was a bit beat up about that but he got over it quick) and then there was… damn.
(TWO PEOPLE??)
"Seokie, baby." Jin said, voice placating. "I dunno how to tell you this but we picked you. Not the other way around."
"I picked the babies." Hoseok said, doing some quick run-throughs in his head.
He knew that Namjoon and Jin had done a whole ass government approved background check on him before he was assigned the same college dorm room as Namjoon. So they had definitely picked him (he still didn't know how, though).
"The babies internet stalked you for two whole years before they signed up for your classes. You didn't pick shit." Jin said, flopping into the sofa beside him with two plates piled full of food. "Eat your dinner."
(Right.)
—
Things I know to be true
(Yoongi edition)
#24 - Is willing to eat food he doesn't like to prove a point. (Will probably drink salty coke or garlic juice like it's nothing out of the ordinary. Do not underestimate)
#25 - Is useless at saying no to Taehyung. (Courtesy Taehyung)
#26 - Will bicker with Jimin like they've been married for forty five years. (Courtesy Jimin)
#27 - Incapable of raising his voice. See: pacifist
#28 - CAN DANCE!! (But won't unless tipsy)
☀☀☀
He had four-leaved clovers all over him.
Like in twenty different places.
He wrote 'I hope you step in poo today' on the sole of his left foot.
—
"You had fun." Hoseok said, as soon as the elevator opened to reveal Yoongi.
"I actually did." The man said, beaming.
"Hmm." Hoseok said, considering him.
Yoongi's face fell instantly.
"Oh Lord. That was a test wasn't it?" Yoongi said, baulking adorably.
"Yes." Hoseok said, shaking his head morosely. "And you failed, Yoongi. I had such high hopes. I put all my eggs in your basket."
"Please don't ever say that again." Yoongi said, wincing and moving to stand in front of his door. "Are you afraid of roller coasters, Hoseok?"
"I'm afraid of that thing your face is doing right now." Hoseok said, panicking inwardly because Yoongi looked like an imp. Smile too wide and eyes too crazy…An evil imp.
"You're right to be." Yoongi said, nodding his head.
"I will complain to the babies." Hoseok said, not afraid to pull that card. "And you're going to regret every single decision you've ever made in your life."
Yoongi looked wary for a second and then said, "Bold of you to assume they won't help me."
(Hoseok, you've made some grievous miscalculations.)
"I'm not liking you too much at the moment and I'm choosing to remove myself from your presence. Good bye, Yoongi." He said and whammed the door shut.
—
Things I know to be true
(Yoongi edition)
#29 - Is secretly a gremlin. (Do not underestimate)
#30 - Enjoys thrill rides. (Never go on unplanned trips)
#31 - Will side with the babies four out of five times. (Never engage)
#32 - Is going to be hella easy to fall madly in love with
☀☀☀
Yoongi laughed till he was all the way inside his apartment.
Hoseok was hilarious and bright and so, so beautiful.
Yoongi swore he could feel the warmth of the man's smile follow him around all his waking hours. Some days it even crossed over and settled in his dreams like it knew he'd carved out a space and left it empty to punish himself. Soft, tinkling and happy - Hoseok and his smiles had made themselves at home.
Yoongi was suddenly overcome with a wave of yearning so heavy, he had to sit down and put his head in his hands.
He thought he was used to the feeling - it had been his best friend for so long that it was easy to work around - but recently it had become something much more insistent and cloying.
Ever since he'd decided to move in next to Hoseok.
But Yoongi would power through.
He had a whole plan in place and stalking over to Hoseok's home and coming clean would not work well in his favour.
Honestly, he didn't know if anything he had thought up would work but it seemed smart. And he was going to try.
For Hoseok he would try.
He'd been letting the man down for almost ten years.
No more.
The heaviness only dissipated slightly when he saw the scribbled words on the bottom of his left foot.
Very slightly.