Chapter Text
Jay had always had an odd relationship with his little side. He'd always enjoyed feeling small and babyish but as he had grown up he'd felt he needed to hide that part of himself. Hiding it from the other members had proved impossible but that had turned out okay because it had turned out they all wanted to take care of him. They were always encouraging him to accept his little side and let them take care of him. Slowly, very slowly sometimes, he was learning to be more accepting of himself.
But the biggest thing that made him accept his little side actually turned out to be someone else's little side.
Jay had returned to the dorm from a trip home early. No one else was back yet except for Niki who hadn't been able to go home. But when he saw the dorm was quiet and seemingly deserted he thought Niki had gone out. He was surprised to find Niki was there; even more surprised to find Niki in his bed with his little stuff.
Niki was curled up in Jay's bed wearing his blue soft footies, watching some cartoon on his phone and sucking on Jay's baby bottle. Jay was so stunned that he ended up just standing there staring for a moment at a loss for words. He wasn't mad or upset, he was just surprised because Niki had never shown any interest in being little before. Sure, he played with Jay while regressed but he thought he was just being playful, not that he had any inclination to be little.
He wondered why Niki hadn't said anything to him. He knew Jay was little so he was surprised he hadn't confided in him even if he didn't want the others to know just yet.
Jay was trying to decide what to say when Niki looked up from his phone and saw Jay standing there. Instantly he was no longer relaxed and carefree. Panic spread across his face as he dropped the bottle and fumbled with his phone turning it off.
"I'm sorry! Don't be mad" Niki said, stuttering and blushing heavily. He looked so awkward and embarrassed, Jay instantly wanted to take it away. Maybe he thought Jay would be mad he was using his things but he wasn't. He saw how calm and relaxed Niki had been moments ago. How could he be mad about that?
Jay walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Niki. "Hey, I'm not mad" Jay was quick to say. "I was just surprised" Jay paused and looked at Niki who was sitting awkwardly looking down at his hands in his lap. "So…you're a little too?"
Niki was still blushing as he shrugged a bit. "I don't know….maybe?" Niki said shyly.
Niki seemed so uncomfortable and shy Jay knew he had to be careful. He wanted him to open up but didn't want to pressure him. "You want to talk about it?" Jay asked calmly.
Niki seemed to think about it for a moment before he opened up. ""I mean, I never heard of it before I knew you were a little" Niki said, playing with his hands in his lap. "But I like seeing you little; I like helping take care of you. But I like playing with you the best. It's fun and it makes me feel like a little kid again too. And um…well….uh…."
Niki looked away as if awkward again. Jay sensed he was shutting down so he encouraged, "It's okay. Hey, you've seen me be little; I'm definitely not someone you have to be shy around about this stuff."
Niki paused a moment, fidgeting. "Well that last time you were little and we took care of you," Niki said quietly, "um…well when I came to bed and Sunoo was holding you and feeding you your bottle um….I guess I felt….really jealous. I know I shouldn't have but I really…Uh….suddenly wished it was me. I wanted to be taken care of. I wanted to feel really small like you. It looked really nice. So I've just been trying to experiment a little and see how it feels. I'm really sorry."
Jay remembered that moment well. Even now he did feel all warm and fuzzy thinking of how nice it had been to be swaddled warm and tight being held by Sunoo as he fed him his bottle. He felt super little and very cared for. He remembered Niki coming to bed like he always did with Sunoo and Sunoo had even teased him a bit, asking if he was jealous and wanted a bottle too. Niki had said no but it turned out he actually was. And that thought made Jay feel an unexpected wave of affection go through him for Niki. Jay knew all too well how hard it was to want to be cared for and looked after and not have that; he could only imagine how hard it was for Niki to see Jay getting that and wanting it but not feeling he could have it.
Jay always tried looking out for Niki; he'd always felt protective of their maknae. It was easy to forget how young Niki was sometimes because he was so mature. But in this moment Jay felt a wave of affection and protectiveness go over him for him. Niki looked small and vulnerable in that moment; not just because he was wearing babyish footies but because he was trying to figure out who he was and he looked so uncomfortable about it.
"Hey, come here" Jay said gently, his voice taking on a more caring, nurturing tone, patting the bed next to him. Niki gave Jay an unsure look before he slowly crawled across the bed and came to sit next to Jay.
"I'm not mad Niki" Jay assured him. He put an arm around Niki tentatively and felt when he slowly leaned into the touch. "It's okay you borrowed my little stuff; I can share. And if you decide you want to be little around the others I can share them too. I'm sure they'd love to take care of you too. So, are you enjoying it so far?"
Niki looked down at his fuzzy pajama covered feet, swinging them on the edge of the bed in an undeniably childish way. "Yeah" he said after a while. "I like it. Makes me feel like a little kid, make me relaxed. I don't think I've really gotten fully regressed yet. But yeah, I like it a lot."
Niki smiled as he looked down at his fuzzy feet and he really looked so cute that Jay didn't even try to keep himself from blurting out, "You look really cute in my pajamas"
"I do?" Niki asked quietly, looking shy. His cheeks pinked a little bit and he couldn't stop a little grin from spreading across his face. It was too cute; Jay couldn't help but feel soft looking at him. He couldn't help but want to see Niki indulging in his potential little side some more.
"Of course you do" Jay said honestly, wrapping his arms around Niki in a side hug. He wasn't normally that affectionate unless he was in little space but something about Niki looking cute and small made it come out in him.
"You can finish your bottle and cartoon if you want" Jay reaching across the bed and grabbing the half drank bottle Niki had tossed aside. He handed it to Niki who looked shy as he took it.
"I can leave if you want to be alone again" Jay said sensing Niki's hesitancy and awkwardness. He really wanted to stay with him though, even if he just sat with him while he watched cartoons.
"No that's okay" Niki said after thinking it over. He gave Jay a big smile. "You can stay. I'd like that"
They didn't have that long before the others started to trickle back into the dorms. But for a little while it was just him and Niki.
Jay really enjoyed it. Niki looked so happy and relaxed as he watched the cartoons and sucked gently on the bottle. At first Jay felt the tugging inside him that made him want to regress himself; it was hard not to with the childish show and it's songs. But then ever so slowly Niki began to lean into Jay, as if seeking his warmth and affection. Jay put his arm around Niki and held him close. Instead of being little himself suddenly he wanted to take care of Niki. He knew they didn't have a lot of time but Jay suddenly wished he could make Niki another bottle, wrap him in a blanket and snuggle him. He'd never thought about being a switch but now there was a little stirring inside him that maybe wanted to be a caregiver a little. At least for Niki.
When the others began to trickle into the dorms they turned the cartoon off and Niki changed out of Jay's pajamas back into his own clothes. He wasn't quite ready to tell the others he might be a little so they put Jay's little stuff away. Jay wished it could last longer and by Niki's sad face he did too.
"I'm glad I know about this now" Jay told him, giving Niki a big smile. "You come to me anytime you want to talk, okay? And you can borrow my stuff for the time being. Until we get you some of your own things that is."
Niki gave him a big smile at that. It warmed Jay down to his toes. "Thank you hyung" he said quietly.
It doesn't come up again for about a week but Jay can't help but think about Niki being little. Jay has always wanted to have a friend who was into being little too. He never dreamed he'd have caregivers and now he not only had caregivers but someone who he could be little with too.
About a week later Jake was out for the evening so Jay asked Niki if he wanted to hang out in their room and look for some little things he might want. Niki was in the living room playing games when he asked. Niki dropped the controller and positively beamed up at Jay.
"Yes!" Niki said eagerly.
Jay loved seeing how enthusiastic and happy he got, his eyes bright and excited. They walked back to his and Jake's room. Niki immediately plopped down on Jay's bed but Jay walked over to his drawer of little stuff.
"Would you like to use any of my stuff? Since we have some time alone?" Jay asked hesitantly as he pulled open the drawer.
Niki looked shy and a little hesitant but eventually he said, "Yeah that would be nice." He shyly walked over to Jay's drawer, looking at what he had in there. After a minute of thinking he chose Jay's purple bunny pajamas, the hoodie with the bunny ears and sweatpants with the cute bunny tail and the Dalmatian stuffy Sunghoon had given him. Once Niki had changed into the pajamas, Jay pulled the hood over Niki's head so the ears stuck up.
"You look adorable" Jay told Niki honestly. He looked shy and squeezed the Dalmatian tight to his chest as his cheeks turned red. It felt new and a bit strange to compliment Niki like that but it was good too. The way Niki blushed and grinned under the praise told Jay he needed it.
"Thank you" Niki said shyly as he hugged the stuffy. Jay noticed one of his hands drift toward his mouth as if he were about to suck his thumb but quickly caught himself and pulled it away. Jay wanted to tell him it was okay if he wanted to suck his thumb but didn't want to embarrass him.
They climbed up on the bed together and Jay pulled out his phone and began to look up some of the websites he'd bought little stuff from before. He was surprised when Niki didn't choose any of the things Jay thought he would like.
When they looked at clothes, instead of choosing a super cool dinosaur hoodie complete with spikes on the sleeves and hood, Niki picked a pink baby onesie with a unicorn on it and a purple tutu around the waist. Instead of a cool blue paci with a rocket ship on it, Niki wanted a pink glittery one. When he picked his blankie it was also pink with a silky red trim. Jay wasn't going to tell Niki he was picking all girly things; after all pink shouldn't just be for girls anyway. But what really surprised him was the toys. Jay had been most looking forward to picking out fun things for Niki to play with, maybe things they could play together but Niki didn't choose any Legos or action figures or games. Instead he chose a set of soft blocks, a sensory mat with water and animals inside and a set of baby toys that included rattles and teething rings. Jay didn't think any of these things sounded like much fun but when Jay asked Niki if that's what he was sure he wanted, Niki looked embarrassed.
"Um, yeah….unless that's the wrong way to be little" Niki said sheepishly, squeezing the Dalmatian and blushing. He looked ashamed and Jay immediately felt bad. It didn't matter what he thought or what he would have chosen. He wanted Niki to have whatever would make him happy.
He put his arm around Niki and gave him a tight side hug. "There is no wrong way to be a little" Jay assured him. "You just might regress to a younger age than me. And that's totally okay. I am your hyung after all"
Niki still looked a little embarrassed but he smiled when Jay hugged him. "Okay" he said quietly, seeming a little reassured by Jay's words.
They looked at a few more things together before Jay stumbled onto a website that sold adult sized training pants. They were so cute and looked exactly like something a toddler would wear. Jay pointed out a pair to Niki.
"Hey, these are really cute. You want some?" Jay asked.
Niki looked away, biting his lip as if embarrassed again. Jay was quick to say, "It's okay if you don't, I just thought they were cute" because he didn't want Niki to think he had to want them too.
"They are cute it's just…." Niki started but then stalled.
"You can tell me; don't be shy" Jay encouraged. He really wanted Niki to get to the place he wasn't shy about this stuff in front of Jay of all people.
"I want something else" Niki said, nibbling on the end of his thumb in a nervous way.
"Well, what is it? We can get it" Jay asked brightly. He wanted Niki to have whatever he wanted.
Niki dropped the plushy and covered his face with both hands as he mumbled "Um…I kind of want…um…some diapers."
Jay was kind of glad that Niki wasn't looking at him at that moment because he could hide his surprise. It really shouldn't have been that big of a surprise; Jay didn't really know why he was blushing right now. Jay had never had any desire to wear diapers himself but obviously he knew plenty of littles did. Suddenly he thought about the last time he'd fallen deep into little space and had wet the bed. He'd been so embarrassed and upset. He'd hated the feeling of losing control and the feeling of being wet like that. It wasn't something he would actively seek out. But it certainly did make him feel very small and he could understand how some people would want that feeling.
"I know it's weird" Niki said after a minute, still hiding behind his hands, voice muffled.
"No, it's not" Jay insisted. He grabbed Niki's hands and pulled them away from his face so that he wouldn't feel the need to hide. "It's not weird at all. Let's find you some super cute diapers, okay?"
Niki was still blushing and looking shy but he did give a little smile. "Okay" he agreed.
After some searching through the apparent multitude of adult diapers that were out there Niki chose some that had cute baby animals on it. By the time they clicked buy on it, Jay noticed he didn't look shy at all anymore, he just looked excited and that made Jay happy.
A few days after they had bought Niki his little items he and Jay sat down with the rest of the others and explained that Niki was exploring being a little as well. Niki was shy and seemed super embarrassed so Jay did most of the talking explaining that Niki wanted to try out regressing like Jay did. They responded just how Jay expected them to. They were all happy to take care of Niki in the same way they cared for Jay when he was regressed. Sunoo was especially excited to interact with little Niki.
"Niki! You're a baby like Jay! Oh my god! You're going to be so adorable!" Sunoo enthused with a huge smile on his face before crushing Niki with a hug. Niki's face flamed with embarrassment at the attention but he looked pleased nonetheless.
When Niki's baby items arrived Jay was excited to regress with him. He was sitting in the living room when Niki arrived home with a big package, his face lit up. Niki went to his room with the box and though Jay knew he was being nosey, he couldn't help but follow Niki to see if he had gotten his stuff. He knocked on Niki's door who said, "Come in."
Niki was alone, his box opened in the middle of the room, sitting next to it. He had the blankie in his hands, running the silky edge against his cheek with a smile on his face. He looked shy when Jay walked in and dropped the blanket away from his face.
"You got your baby stuff?" Jay asked eagerly, looking into the box to see Niki's toys and diapers. He saw Niki's onesie on top of his other items and couldn't wait to see Niki wear it. He knew he'd look adorable in it.
"Yeah I did" Niki said shyly, putting the blanket down and looking through his toys.
"You want to play with me?" Jay asked eagerly. Just seeing Niki's baby stuff and anticipating being little together already made Jay feel like he was slipping.
Now that the others were acting as his caregivers and helping him to accept his little side he was finding it easier to drop into his headspace. Before he could only let himself regress when alone and even then he had to hold back in some ways. Now that the others kept reassuring him it was okay to regress he fell into it easier. He wasn't there fully yet but already he needed to feel his pacifier in his mouth and hug his doggie stuffy.
Niki didn't jump at the chance to play though. "Um, maybe in a little bit?" Niki asked shyly. " I think I want to try it out alone first, if that's okay?"
Jay's little side wanted to say no it wasn't okay because he wanted to play with Niki but his adult side was still in charge enough for him to say, "Of course you can. You can do whatever you want with your little side Niki. Have fun. You can come get me later if you want."
Jay left Niki alone in his room to explore his new things and quickly regressed himself. By the time the others came home he was dressed in his footies, coloring messily in his coloring books and sucking on his pacifier. Jay didn't see Niki until much later when he was snuggled up against Heeseung on the couch watching cartoons. He felt warm and fuzzy surrounded by the others who were talking or playing in their phones but still close and present and safe. Jay nuzzled deeper into Heeseung's chest in contentment when Niki came into the room. He sat down on the couch close to Jay and Heeseung but he didn't have any of his toys and he wasn't wearing his cute outfit.
"Niki!" Jay said, popping up for a moment to get Niki's attention, mumbling around his pacifier. When Niki looked up at him Jay said, "Niki, you need paci and blankie!" Because Niki would enjoy the cartoons so much more with his paci and blankie!
But instead of taking Jay's suggestion Niki looked shy and embarrassed as everyone's gaze turned toward him. He blushed a little bit as he said, "Um no….that's okay. I don't need it right now."
Jay tried to write the incident off and assumed Niki needed some more time warm up to the idea of being little with the others. It was a very vulnerable experience being little for the first time in front of others. Jay had been so intimidated about it he would have never made that leap if he hadn't have been caught regressing by everyone. It was scary to put yourself out there. So Jay understood his hesitation but as time went on Jay began to suspect there was something else going on. While Jay regressed several times in the next month or so Jay didn't see Niki regress at all. He knew that didn't mean Niki wasn't regressing; he could be by himself.
But Niki had been so eager to be little Jay thought that it was odd that he wasn't doing it. When Jay would regress Niki would play with him but it wasn't like he was regressed too; he was playing with Jay like he was the baby like he always had. When the others offered to take care of Niki in anyway he seemed to get extremely embarrassed and diverted attention away from himself. This didn't make any sense to Jay. Initially Jay had been afraid to be little around the others because he didn't know how they'd take it. But Niki shouldn't be worried about that. They'd all taken so well to Jay's little side and were excellent caregivers. Niki had seen that himself. Besides, they'd all talked about it and they'd assured Niki that they would care for him just as they did Jay. So what was the problem?
Jay knew maybe logically he should let it go but for some reason he simply couldn't. One day when they were alone in the kitchen making lunch, Jay blurted out, "How come you haven't been regressing with me?"
Niki, clearly taken aback and embarrassed by Jay's random, embarrassing question, nearly dropped the dish he had in his hands. "Um…..I don't know" Niki said biting his lip and blushing red.
Jay felt bad for pressuring Niki and didn't want to come off as pushy so he said, "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said it like that" Jay said more calmly. "You don't have to regress around me if you don't want. I just noticed you won't let any of the others take care of you either. And I just wanted to tell you it's okay. They're the best at being caregivers. I was nervous to let myself be little around everyone in the beginning but now I'm not because I know how good they are at taking care of me. You can trust them to take care of you."
Niki looked uncomfortable at Jay's words. He bit his lip, shifting his weight awkwardly on his feet. "I do trust them," Niki insisted looking at the floor not meeting Jay's eyes. "It's not that."
"What is it then?" Jay asked gently, hoping to finally get to the bottom of what Niki was thinking deep inside. He knew their maknae had a way of putting too much on himself, pulling in and hiding his feelings when he should be sharing them. He didn't want that for him; he wanted Niki to feel at ease enough with them to always share his struggles.
"I think maybe I'm just not into all this little stuff after all" Niki said awkwardly after a moment. He still wouldn't look at Jay and was fidgeting a suspicious amount.
"What?" Jay burst out in surprise.
Niki blushed slightly but Jay noticed it all the same. "I thought maybe I was a little but now I think maybe I'm not into it after all" Niki said giving a shrug as if it was no matter at all to him.
Niki quickly grabbed his food and shuffled out of the room, leaving behind a very suspicious Jay.
Niki was lying; Jay was absolutely sure of it. In those rare moments when Niki hadn't been aware he was being watched or wasn't holding back Jay had seen the happiness he had. When Jay had caught him with his bottle watching cartoons, when he'd been cuddling his blankie when he first got it, the way his face lit up when Jay helped him pick out his baby stuff; Jay knew he liked it. So why was he lying about it? Jay had no idea and even though he wanted to probe Niki on the matter he didn't want to push him away so even though it hurt him to think of Niki hiding something he force himself to not push Niki on the matter anymore.
It turned out he didn't need to because it all naturally came to a head a few weeks later in a big way. After some long, stressful weeks everyone was finally getting some time off. Everyone was excited because for the first time in a very long time Niki was going to get to go home and see his family. They all knew Niki had been struggling with not getting to see his family for so long and they were so happy for him that finally he'd get a much needed trip back home.
Unfortunately the day before he was supposed to leave his trip was cancelled due to circumstances beyond their control again. They were all with Niki in the living room at home when he got the news and Jay could feel the crushing blow go through all of them. They knew how much Niki wanted this, needed this, and it hurt them to know how much their maknae would be hurting. Jay could see the sadness cross Niki's face for all of ten seconds before he realized everyone was watching him and quickly shook the look off his face.
"Niki, are you going to be okay?" Jungwon was the first to ask. He looked slightly worried but Jay knew he was trying to not let his feelings show.
Niki's eyes looked shiny for a moment before he nodded heavily. "I'm really disappointed" Niki admitted. "But I've waited this long; I can wait some more. I'm fine."
Sunoo was sitting next to Niki and his face showed open concern; he had no poker face at all. He put a hand on Niki's shoulder and said, "Are you sure?"
Jay thought for a moment that Sunoo's concern was going to break through Niki's walls. He looked down sadly before snapping out of it. "Yes I'm sure" Niki said pulling out of Sunoo's hold, sounding rougher and more intense than usual. "Don't worry about me."
But they did worry about him. Even though all day Niki acted as though nothing was wrong the others watched him carefully waiting for the ball to drop. They all knew he was upset and disappointed, it wasn't normal to act as though he was fine after such a letdown. But Niki resisted any attempts at the others trying to console him or take care of him.
That evening during the last practice before their days off Niki's carefully crafted emotional walls finally came crashing down.
During a break they all decided to go get some snacks from the cafeteria to tide them over until dinner. All except for Niki. He was covering his obvious sadness with anger by this point and had become increasingly snappy as the night went on.
"Not hungry" he muttered gruffly before pulling his hoodie on his head, flopping onto the floor in the corner and disappearing behind his phone. Jay's stomach twisted with concern; he could just feel something wasn't right.
"Come on Niki, please come with us" Jay said, starting to walk his way before he felt a hand on his arm. He turned around to see Jungwon holding onto his arm.
"Let him be" Jungwon urged him giving Niki a knowing look.
Jay didn't want to give Niki space but he reluctantly followed Jungwon and the others out of the room and to the cafeteria.
Jay's fears were immediately confirmed when they returned though. While Niki had been quiet and sullen when they left, when they returned he was in quite a state. He was curled up in the corner sobbing so hard he was gasping for breath, tears rolling down his red face. Jay's heart broke instantly and he immediately rushed over to Niki, crouching down on the floor in front of him. He already had a suspicion Niki might have finally slipped from the stress of the day but didn't know until he spoke to him.
"Niki, Niki…..what's wrong?" Jay asked in as gentle a voice he could. He could feel the others rushing behind him, coming to check on their maknae. Niki always tried to stay calm and reserved; seeing him break down like this was unnerving.
Niki mumbled something through his tears, absolutely hysterical and Jay couldn't understand him before he choked on a sob. He was so upset; Jay had never seen him like this. And though he had no proof Niki was little, he decided he try something. This was just too reminiscent of his break down that had introduced the others to his little side.
Jay took a chance, reaching out for Niki, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him protectively in his lap. It wasn't easy; Niki was getting so big these days. But it was instantly the right choice. All 6 feet and lanky limbs of Niki dissolved against Jay like a child, crumpling against him like he was his safe haven, his strength. He was still sobbing but not as hard.
Jay held him close and said, "Riki, baby, what's wrong?" In Japanese. Suspecting Niki was little he figured his given name and home language might calm him a little.
Niki took a big shuddering breath in, rubbing his tear and snot covered face against Jay's chest. "Home….go home. Me go home" Niki whimpered back in Japanese in a tiny, scared, heartbreaking voice. He started crying again, tucking two fingers into his mouth and sucking on them as if trying to calm himself. It confirmed for Jay Niki had regressed and by the looks of it he had regressed to a very young age. Given Niki's interest in more babyish items he wasn't surprised.
Jay held him tighter and began to gently rock him back and forth. Between the rocking and finger sucking Niki managed to calm himself enough he could breathe, his tears mostly gone except for the occasional shuddering sob.
"I know you're sad. I wish I could take you back home. It's okay to be sad" Jay assured him. If his suspicions were right and Niki was like him, when he was big he didn't let himself feel big emotions but they came bubbling to the surface when little and he needed reassurance it was okay to feel them and express them.
"Mama…..papa….sissies. I want" Niki whimpered, big tears rolling down his face as he looked up at Jay. Seeing this completely raw, unchecked need Niki had for his family cut Jay to the core. Even big, Niki was still so young and probably way more vulnerable than he let them see. It made him want to take care of Niki, big and little.
"I know it's not same," Jay whispered back calmly, "but how about we go back to our home? Me and you and your new brothers? I promise we will take good care of you."
Niki looked at Jay with big trusting eyes still swimming in tears, his fingers still in his mouth and nodded. He looked so pitiful Jay wanted to help him but at the same time he felt very inadequate as a caregiver since he was always the little. As if sensing that, Heeseung spoke behind him.
"Niki finally slipped didn't he?" Heeseung asked knowingly, coming forward while the others just watched the exchange.
"Yeah I think he's been trying to hold back for whatever reason" Jay said as Niki nuzzled closer to him, looking sleepy as if spent from his outburst. "I guess the stress and upset from today finally pushed him over the edge. He simply couldn't be stubborn about it anymore"
Heeseung kneeled next to Jay, reaching a hand out and ruffling Niki's hair gently. He gave Jay a knowing smile. "Sounds like another little boy I know" he said.
Just hearing Heeseung say that made Jay feel warm and fuzzy inside. He's talking about me! His little side echoed inside him. But he had to shake it off; it wasn't his turn to be little. It was Niki's turn and he deserved everyone's attention on him right now as hurting as he was.
"I'll go tell the manager Niki isn't feeling well and we need to go home" Jungwon said.
As Jungwon went to go inform the manager, Sunoo slowly crept closer, standing next to Heeseung and looking down at Niki with concern open on his face.
"Is Niki okay?" Sunoo asked worriedly as he looked down at him.
"Niki's going to be fine" Jay assured Sunoo knowing how much he had a soft spot for him. "He's just been through a lot and misses his family a lot. He just needs us to spoil him with lots of affection and attention."
Niki seemed to come out of his haze and noticed Sunoo standing there. He threw up his hands toward Sunoo making grabby hands. Jay smiled at how cute Niki looked, so desperate for his favorite hyung.
"I think he wants you to hold him" Jay said as Niki continued to grab for Sunoo and make babyish, babbling noises.
"Aww really?" Sunoo asked, grinning and blushing a little at the attention. He sat down on the floor next to Jay and Niki quickly flopped into Sunoo's lap, curling up like a contented kitty, tucking his fingers in his mouth, closing his eyes looking so peaceful no one wanted to make him move. But they would have to a few minutes later when Jungwon came back and said the car was ready for them.
Niki was not happy at leaving the comfort of Sunoo's warm lap; even less so when Jungwon tried to pry his fingers out of his mouth.
"Baby, you can't have your fingers in your mouth like that while we walk outside. Can you be a big boy until we get home?" Jungwon asked sweetly.
But clearly the answer was no. Niki flopped down on the ground like a toddler having a tantrum and burst into tears again, whining "No, no, no!" In Japanese.
"Oh no, I didn't mean to make him cry" Jungwon said, looking upset at having made Niki sad, fidgeting with the ends of his hoodie sleeves.
A moment later Jay watched Heeseung spring into Appa mode, taking control of the situation. "It's okay Jungwon, you didn't do anything wrong" Heeseung assured him with a hand on his arm. "Niki is just really sensitive right now."
Niki's tantrum eased up as soon as Heeseung knelt next to him, almost as if he knew he brought comfort. "It's okay Riki" Heeseung said gently, taking Jay's cue to use his given name which he instantly responded to. Niki's head popped up to look at him hopefully.
"It's okay" Heeseung repeated gently, running a hand through Niki's hair. "We'll get you home. Don't worry about anything; hyungs will take care of you."
Heeseung pulled Niki's hood up on his head and carefully put a face mask on him, pulling it down so it covered up most of Niki's face. Between the mask and hoodie you couldn't tell Niki had his fingers in his mouth.
Heeseung grabbed a tissue and gently wiped the tears off Niki's face. Niki was now visibly calmer and when Heeseung offered a hand for him to hold Niki instantly took it. It was a different experience for Jay, seeing Heeseung act so Appa like and not have it directed at him. Something deep down and warm tried to bubble up inside him, wanting to be little but Jay pushed it away. He didn't need to be little; it was just nice to see Niki finally regressed and being taken care of. Jay didn't need to be little; he needed to take care of Niki along with all of the others.