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Clouds had covered the sky all day, darkening to almost black as the winds picked up to an almost gale. Rain wasn't just a threat, it was a promise and one that would soon be delivered on. Yet Leif showed no signs of intending to leave the balcony. He didn't react to Asbel joining him on it either, continuing to stare out at the sea of red and blue flags cutting them off from the rest of Thracia. There were at least ten times as many tents as people in Leonster.
Asbel stopped next to Leif, glancing over for some clue as to what he was thinking. It was hard to find anything in such a solemn expression but after months of seeing it, Asbel had picked up on its little shifts; firmer in front of their army, softened almost to sadness when alone. There were moments he'd break past this in battle, concern for his men having only grown since the siege started but that was the only exception. Asbel couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him anywhere close to happy.
“Do you ever regret it?” Leif suddenly asked. He still looked out at the field, gaze unfocused. “Our promise, to take back Thracia together.”
“Never." They’d been only children when they made their oath but the words of it had been etched into Asbel's mind ever since. Every choice he’d made, every action he took were all done with those words in mind. "Nothing could ever make me."
"Not even me?" Leif's shoulders curled in as he dropped his gaze to the banister. "You've gained nothing from following me. All I've done is fail and disappoint everyone. I couldn't save anything... or anyone."
"We've saved lots of people and they were all happy just to know you’re fighting for them.” Their rebellion hadn’t gone smoothly and their situation now was far from great but neither was enough for him to agree with Leif's views of them. “You gave them, you’ve given all of Northern Thracia, hope for the first time.” Asbel moved closer to Leif, reaching out to brush his fingers against Leif's. “You gave me something important too. I would have been happy just to follow and have the chance to help you but you've spent this whole time proving what a great leader you are and how great a king you’ll be."
“No one thinks that.”
“I know it. And so does everyone else here! That’s why we’ve all stayed with you to keep defending Castle Leonster. We know you’re the best person to rule Thracia and want to do everything we can so you become our king.”
Leif finally looked at him. They were the same age but it didn’t feel like it. He had the hopes and dreams, the lives of an entire country on his shoulders and all of those lost still clinging with an even greater weight. No one could help him carry any of this but maybe Asbel could make it a little lighter.
Asbel pushed himself up to the tips of his toes to catch Leif in a kiss. Leif’s surprise lasted only a moment before he returned it, any gentleness lasting just as long. It was desperate and overwhelming like a flood pushing against a dam. He wanted to let it burst, to let himself be undone and swept away. But his lungs were about to beat him to it.
Asbel pulled away gasping, knees shaking as he dropped back down. The top of his head brushed against Leif's chest as he clenched Leif’s shirt in his fists, both to keep himself steady and to keep Leif close.
"I don't care if it's for another day or a hundred years," Asbel said between breaths. "All I want is to spend the rest of my life by your side."
“I can’t accept that, I don’t want that! I can’t watch you throw away your life for me.” Despite Leif’s rejection, he didn’t try to move away, sounding more distressed than dismissive. “I never wanted anyone to give their life for mine and I hate how many times it’s happened. If you did it too, I’d…”
“Giving my life for yours is an awful way to protect you. I can only do that once then I’ll never be able to protect you again. I’ll find other ways to protect you, ones that’ll let me stay with you after them.” Asbel lifted his head to look up at Leif. “We swore to live and die together. I won’t go until you do too.”
“Promise?” The word was almost lost in the wind but painfully clear across his face. Rather than answer, Asbel reached up again, Leif meeting him halfway, arms enveloping Asbel's waist as he leaned into the kiss. It wasn’t as desperate as before but Asbel felt just as overwhelmed. He would always be with Leif.
Leif pulled away first this time, pressing his forehead against Asbel’s with a small sigh. When Asbel looked up, he was met with a small smile as radiant as the sunrise. It was the most dazzling thing he’d seen in months, made even more precious by knowing he'd brought it out of Leif.
Asbel reached for Leif’s hand, Leif intertwining their fingers as he took it and letting himself be led inside. The rain began to fall just as Asbel closed the door behind them, small drops quickly turning into a downpour. But it was easily forgotten as he was embraced once more, the tight yet gentle hold of strong arms and sound of Leif’s heartbeat filling his head instead. He couldn't think of anywhere in the world better than this.
“I’ll become as good a leader as you think I am, as good a ruler as you think I can be,” Leif promised. “I’ll spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to deserve you.”
He didn't have to do a single thing but Asbel knew he'd have no luck convincing him of this. Instead he drew himself as close to Leif as possible, turning his head up as he pressed his cheek against Leif's chest so Leif could see how happy he was just to be with him. Whether he died in battle tomorrow or decades from now of old age, he'd die without regrets as long as he was by Leif's side. There was nothing he'd ever want more than to be by Leif's side until the very end.