Work Text:
“Lan Zhan…”
“Wei Ying…”
His form was clouded, a fog covered his vision, but something inside him knew, it just knew… he was there. It was him. Wei Ying. He took a shaky step, his whole body seemed to burn, like the time after he had been whipped; every step hard like he had chains wrapped around him, holding him steady in the same spot; his arms seemed to weight ten thousand times their weight, tight against his sides; and yet he continued forwards, because at the end it was him… he knew… Wei Ying… a few steps away from him… waiting…
“Wei Ying… Wei Ying!” he cried, finally finding his voice. It was broken, but strong, calling for him. His eyes did not fill with tears, simply because he knew if they did, he would see even less, the fog already taking so much away from him. The imaginary chains seemed to get heavier the closest he got to the shadow ahead, mixing with what seemed like sinking sand; something did not want him to reach Wei Ying. Something was holding him back. Why? Why?! Couldn’t they see he couldn’t live without him? Couldn’t breathe? That his whole life was meaningless without him? Why didn’t they let him go? Why didn’t they let him live?
Why did they hate him?!
He yelled, louder than he had ever yelled, harder than he had ever dared, a cry of pain and despair, that would crush everyone’s heart if they heard, that could break mountains and make the waters part, a scream so loud the whole world would tremble underneath it.
But he was alone, and he fell. His legs gave out under the weight and he dropped on the ground, defeated, wounded, broken. His hands held his descent and he squeezed the muddy earth underneath him, the tears sliding down his cheeks as the drops of rain fell from the sky, thunder making his sobs quiet, unable to be heard. Everything hurt, his chest was squeezing so hard he thought his heart would stop, and he did not care if it did stop, because it had grown cold and distant so long ago, when he couldn’t hold hard enough, when he couldn’t stop anyone from hurting him.
He deserved to suffer. He deserved the pain of the whip, the coldness of the cave, the aching of hunger, the desperation of thirst… not because he broke the rules, not because he defended a criminal… but because he wasn’t able to save him.
His deepest regret.
He was still crying when someone held his shoulder, making him look up. The person was clouded with a dark fog and the tears in his eyes, but slowly they took form and his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Through the rain and the tears and the pain, it was almost as if pure relief washed over his body and he sobbed, reaching up, dirty hands gripping on the black robes and pulling desperately. His lips muttered ‘please, stay with me, please, be real, please, don’t leave me’ without sound, prayers more honest and true than any he had ever spoken in his life, and the body fell in front of him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer, resting his chin on top of his head, allowing him to cry, sob, beg against his chest.
“I’m sorry…” he begged through hiccups, holding him, pulling him, pressing closer to him - needing him. “I’m sorry Wei Ying…”
“Lan Zhan…” he heard, like a soft breath right next to his ear, and he felt the body in his arms starting to dissipate, the rain turning stronger, making him grow desperate.
“No! No, Wei Ying, stay with me! Please! Please!” he cried, his surroundings turning black, the body in his arms fading away. “Wei Ying!”
“Lan Zhan…”
“Wei Ying!”
“Lan… Zhan…”
“WEI YING!”
“Lan Zhan!”
His eyes opened wide, blurry vision slowly coming to normal as he stared up at the ceiling, and at the face almost in front of him. It took him a moment, a single moment to get his vision back to normal and stare at those dark eyes and concerned expression on Wei Ying’s face, or rather, the body Wei Ying was living in now. It was still just as beautiful as him, although different.
“Lan Zhan” he complained, frowning and placing his hand over his cheek, wiping away what he assumed were tears. “You worried me. You were moaning in your sleep and suddenly you started to cry... you were having nightmares again, weren’t you?”
It wasn’t about lying, specially because they had already talked about his nightmares and the many punishments he went through after Wei Ying had died – he knew of the whip scars, he knew about the mark on his chest, and he knew about the banishment and how he was locked in the ice cave for years – none of that mattered anymore. Still, Lan Zhan was not comfortable with sharing his weakness with Wei Ying, he was not comfortable in showing how deeply he had suffered with his absense. So instead of answering, he sat up and pulled him into a hug, allowing his body in the touch to calm down and understand that now, he was back. He did not have to suffer anymore.
Wei Ying understood, and hugged him back as tight as he could. His hand travelled up Lan Zhan’s back until reaching his scalp, gently and carefully scratching it, wishing to calm him and ease his mind. He hummed their song as well, and Lan Zhan melted into it, nuzzling Wei Ying’s shoulder and breathing him in, hands firm on his back, touching his body and grounding himself in his presence.
Nothing, no one, would ever take Wei Ying from him again.
The song soothed his soul and the hug calmed his heart, allowing him to breathe normally again and pull away to look up at Wei Ying, finding his eyes warm and his lips curled into a smile. Lan Zhan did not waste time to respond it in kind, a shy and small smile appearing, before he closed the distance and pressed their lips together in a kiss that started gentle and chaste, and slowly deepened, taking their breath away in the process.
Wei Ying moved to sit at his lap, and Lan Zhan pulled him closer by his waist, tilting his head and biting Wei Ying’s lip in a request to for forward, a request granted with a gasp, mouth opening against his own and allowing him to slide his tongue in, tasting him, wanting, loving. Wei Ying responded in kind, holding Lan Zhan’s hair by the base and pulling it gently. They were breathless in a few seconds, pulling away from each other’s lips but keeping their foreheads pressed together, Wei Ying smiling and rubbing their noses together like two bunnies, making Lan Zhan smile.
“Lishu” he mumbled, making Wei Ying giggle and nod, rubbing their noses together some more.
“Bunny kisses” he agreed, closing his eyes and kissing the corner of Lan Zhan’s mouth and his cheek, before hugging him tightly again and sighing deeply. “I love you Lan Zhan... whatever you dreamed about... it’s not true. It’s over.”
And Lan Zhan knew it. Finally, after sixteen years, his suffering had indeed finished.
With his arms filled with the love of his life, he knew the good time of his life had begun.