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Merlin was an idiot and Arthur did not like him. So what if Merlin had saved him from an untimely death by canned fruit?
Salvation from near death experiences didn't necessitate endearment.
Arthur knew it was only stocking shelves at the grocery, but Arthur took his job seriously. At least, a lot more seriously than Merlin.
Meaning most of the food ended up in the right places, semi-neatly and properly documented. Also, Arthur didn't listen to obnoxious 90s girl pop at work.
Merlin slid around the corner into the Baking Supplies aisle, using his phone as a microphone as he sang. Arthur kept stacking frosting containers. Like he was being paid to do.
"GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUU-UUUN." Merlin shimmied closer to Arthur until he was singing right behind his ear. "THAT'S ALL WE REALLY WAAA-AA-AA-AAAANT ARTHUR!"
"Please stop," Arthur deadpanned.
"SOME FU-UH-UH-UHHHHNN!"
Merlin jumped back, missing the elbow Arthur tossed him as he finished belting the song as loudly as he could.
Arthur waited for the song to end to take advantage of Merlin catching his breath.
"Merlin. You're not a girl. I'm not a girl. Neither of us are girls." He had to fight to keep the smirk off his lips as he ripped plastic off another case of frosting.
Merlin grinned at him, manic, before unplugging his earbuds and queueing up the song again.
"Oh come on," Arthur groaned.
This time as Merlin warbled the words out, bouncing in Arthur's peripheral vision, he changed the lyrics.
"I COME HOME! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! MY MOTHER SAYS-"
"Dear god help us all."
"-WHEN YOU GONNA LIVE YOUR LIFE RIGHT."
"I'm seriously going to dismember you."
"OH MOTHER DEAR WE'RE NOT THE FORTUNATE ONES! BUT BOYS! THEY WANNA HAVE FUH-UHN!"
"Seriously, please stop."
Merlin ignored him, preferring to bump their hips together violently to the beat of the tinny music coming from his phone speakers.
Arthur winced at every downbeat as Merlin knocked into him harder and harder.
"Ow!" He glared as Merlin pushed him off balance.
"Dance with me!" Merlin looped his fingers in Arthur's belt loops to make his hips sway.
Arthur had to bite down on his tongue. He weakly followed Merlin's movements, just enough so that he could bat Merlin's hands away from his hips.
"Fuck, you're infuriating."
Merlin's smile was blinding when Arthur turned around and he thrust his arms in the air to shake his ass to the same pathetic rhythm of Arthur's hips.
"Don't you wanna have fun, Arthur?"
Merlin was such an idiot, and Arthur really didn't like him.
He waited until break to truly start making fun of them.
"Your phone speakers are shit, Merlin."
Merlin rolled his eyes, concentrating on inhaling the piece of brownie he was shoving into his face.
"Also your music taste? Shit." Arthur took a bite of one of the brownies that Gwen had left for them in the staff break room. He had to hold back a sigh of bliss.
"Fuck no," Merlin shoots back. "The last time you put on music you put on One Direction. You have no grounds to judge."
"One song!" Arthur hissed. "Morgana put that on my phone! I told you that!"
"Sure." Merlin smirked and popped the rest of the brownie into his mouth. "Just keep telling yourself that Arthur." He leaned back in his chair to stretch, making his t-shirt ride up to expose a pale line of hip and stomach.
Arthur swallowed hard and looked away. "One Direction is still better than girl pop of the 90s."
"Sure." Merlin smiled and snitched another brownie.
Arthur cleared his throat. "Your phone speakers are still shit."
Merlin shrugged, concentrating on his brownie. "Not much I can do about that."
Arthur sighed heavily. He really didn't like Merlin. But.
"The store PA system," he said reluctantly. "It has a USB port. You know. If you have a cord."
The smile that grew on Merlin's face could only be described as beaming. It made something in Arthur's stomach hurt a little to see it.
"How did you know that?" Merlin sounded gleeful.
Arthur lifted one shoulder, looking away before his eyes started to burn from the radiance of Merlin's face. "Late nights on my own? A general knowledge of technology? Curiosity that involves something other than decades old songs?"
Merlin didn't rise to the bait. "We have to try it out."
Arthur only caught sight of the determined look on Merlin's face before he rushed out the door.
"Oh god." Arthur suddenly realized how terrible his choices were. He could pass it off as being distracted by Merlin's face, right?
Soupy lines of chords suddenly poured out of the PA system, and Celine Dion started warbling the first lines to "My Heart Will Go On."
Arthur buried his face in his hands. "Oh god."
---
Only Merlin could get himself locked in the freezer. Because he was an idiot. And Arthur most definitely didn't like him.
Only Merlin could get locked in a freezer. In the dark. That had a perfectly good, working, glow-in-the-dark handle. In a t-shirt.
"You're a moron," Arthur said through gritted teeth, rubbing ineffectively at Merlin's clammy skin beneath a space blanket.
"It was daaark," Merlin moaned, and shivered pathetically as Arthur nudged him closer to the exposed air vent. "And I thought I was an idiot?"
"You're both," Arthur said firmly, giving up on the space blanket and ripping his own wool jumper off his shoulders. "Here."
Merlin scrambled into the warm sweater, but Arthur had to help with the arms because Merlin was shaking so hard.
But Arthur's body heat only lasted so long, and Arthur was forced to cuddle up next to Merlin, slinging his arm around his trembling shoulders.
"Why didn't you just use the handle?" Arthur said softly, ignoring the way Merlin's cold nose was pressing into his neck.
Merlin shrugged and nuzzled in closer, making Arthur's neck prickle. "Boxes were in the way."
Arthur swallowed. The freezer was kept at -18 C at all times. Visits longer than a few minutes needed coats and other protective clothing. If Arthur had gone on break… Or hadn't finished early… Or simply hadn't thought to check on Merlin…
"Idiot," Arthur muttered, pulling Merlin closer to him. "Such an idiot."
---
Arthur came to the realization that something had gone wrong while he was talking to the regional manager, Gwen. He was on break, and had chosen to sit next to her to eat his chocolate while she was doing paperwork. Clearly that had been a mistake.
He was in the middle of telling her a story about the last shift, and looked up to see her hiding a smirk with her hand.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing." She grinned down at her paperwork, curls bouncing as she shook her head.
"I haven't even gotten to the funny part yet," he protested. It was a good story. He had saved Merlin from almost killing himself by frozen poultry.
Gwen smirked at him and didn't even bother to hide it.
"You realize you've been sitting here for fifteen minutes and only talking to me about Merlin, right?"
Arthur licked his lips and frowned. "No?"
Gwen's grin was positively evil. "Yes, you have. Why don't you just ask him out already?"
Arthur sniffed and looked down at his empty candy wrapper. "I don't even like Merlin. He's an idiot."
"Sure." Gwen turned back to her paperwork, but it was clear that she didn't believe him.
Arthur cleared his throat and threw away his trash unnecessarily loudly. "I'm going to go work on the freezer aisle."
"Good idea," Gwen said brightly. "It'll be good for you." She waited until Arthur gave her a look before adding. "Arthur, you have absolutely no chill."
Arthur had to walk away after that, not dignifying the cackling laughter coming from the break room with a response.
Clearly his coworkers had gone mad and there was nothing he could do about it.
Arthur stopped when he caught sight of Merlin in the meat section. Merlin was dancing horribly, his hips a violent sway as he belted off-tune to whatever music was coming out of his earbuds. Arthur stuffed down the swooping feeling in his chest. Merlin was such an idiot.
Maybe, just maybe Arthur was a little bit fucked.