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Shouto has always had touch aversion, for as long as he can remember. It was there long before the intensive training sessions with his father. He used to think it started the day his mother poured boiling water on his face- who would ever want to be touched after such a horrific incident? But no, it wasn’t that. Even before that, he remembers hating people touching him. It has always felt uncomfortable- invasive, even- and he’s always avoided it as much as possible.
The incident with the hot water might not have caused his touch aversion, but it certainly didn’t make things any better. It has left him with a scar for the rest of his life- a daily reminder that he’s a disappointment, even to his own mother. For the most part he ignores it. He’s not vain and doesn’t spend a lot of time in front of the mirror; he’s got better things to do. Most of the time, he forgets it’s even there.
Which is why it comes as such a surprise one day when someone runs their fingers over the damaged skin-
-and not just anyone.
Katsuki Bakugou, of all people, is touching Shouto’s scar.
They’re in Shouto’s dorm at UA, actual friends now that they’re in their third year, and they’ve spent the last several hours playing video games. Shouto secretly hopes they can one day be more than friends, and he suspects Katsuki might have feelings for him, too.
Shouto puts down his controller and leans across the bed to reach for his phone, while Katsuki apparently does the same. The result is them tumbling onto the mattress together and giggling as Shouto just happens to be straddling Katsuki’s lap and peering down at him- a total accident, of course.
Katsuki blushes, smiling at Shouto, his face a combination of awe and excitement. Shouto’s chest tightens and his breathing becomes a little quicker as he contemplates his next move. Part of him wants to jump away from Katsuki and pretend it really was an accident, and spare himself the terrible risk he’d be taking if he did The Other Thing.™️
He huffs a sigh and gathers his hair, which has grown quickly since he stopped cutting it and is now nearly down to his waist, and begins to play with it to hide his nervousness. Katsuki reaches out slowly, hesitantly, making Shouto think he wants to stroke his hair. Shouto closes his eyes in anticipation, preparing for the feel of Katsuki’s rough, calloused fingers running through his hair and wondering what it will be like.
Only it turns out Katsuki isn’t going for his hair. He briefly cups Shouto’s chin in his hand before moving up, running his fingertips lightly over the sensitive scar tissue below Shouto’s left eye. His touch is gentle and the look on his face is almost reverent as he meets Shouto’s eyes.
Shouto flinches and grabs Katsuki’s hand, shoving it away. Panicking, he jumps up and away from the bed as if to put as much space between Katsuki and himself as possible. Katsuki looks confused and maybe even a little frightened, clutching the offending hand to his chest, and Shouto chokes back tears.
“Get out,” he says through clenched teeth, and he knows he’s being an asshole. He can’t help it, though, and as Katsuki stares at him, dumbstruck, he stomps his foot on the floor and repeats the command. “Out!”
Katsuki looks as if he’s about to protest, but something in Shouto’s tone must freak him out, because he quickly gathers his things and heads for the door.
“Yeah, whatever,” he mutters on his way out, and Shouto closes the door firmly behind him before collapsing onto the bed, his head in his hands as his body shakes with silent sobs.
~~
It ends up being another two weeks before the next time they’re alone together. Both of them are focused on school and internships, hoping to land a good job after graduation. Everything is going by so quickly; a blur of plans and ambitions and nerves as life continues to hurl them forward. When they finally get some downtime, they go back to their save file and resume their game, and this time they’re in Katsuki’s room.
The afternoon goes by with stolen glances back and forth. They sit on Katsuki’s bed, mashing buttons on the controllers as they inch closer together, until eventually their thighs are touching and they’re more interested in each other than in the game. The controllers are now on the floor, forgotten as they explore each other’s bodies, a timid first kiss having quickly led to more.
“Take your shirt off,” Shouto whispers as Katsuki presses him down onto the mattress.
Katsuki complies, pausing to pull his t-shirt off over his head, and then he’s right back on top of Shouto as he kisses him breathless. Shouto runs his hands over Katsuki’s arms and chest, admiring muscles that are deliciously toned due to Katsuki lugging around the heavy gauntlets he uses for training.
“You have no fucking clue how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Katuski says, running his fingers through Shouto’s hair.
“Oh, I think I do,” says Shouto, leaning into the touch. “We’ve both wanted this and to say otherwise would be lying to ourselves and each other.”
“You’re probably right,” Katsuki concedes, cupping Shouto’s chin in his hands.
Shouto flinches, remembering the last time and the way Katsuki’s fingertips had traced over his scar. They never did talk about it. They just kind of… pretended it didn’t happen.
There is no pretending now. A moment ago, Shouto was consumed- by heat and euphoria and insatiable need, making even their clumsy teenage fumbling feel like heaven. Not anymore, though. Now he sits up, frowning as he pushes Katsuki away from him.
“Why are you pushing me away?” Katsuki demands.
The anger and the sheer entitlement in his voice makes Shouto defensive.
“You touched my—“
“You never said I couldn’t.”
Neither of them say anything for a moment until Katsuki grabs his shirt, pulling it back on over his head with a huff and then crossing his arms over his chest.
Shouto glares at him, then says, “I shouldn’t have to tell you that! Why would you want to touch it anyway?”
“Because it’s part of you.”
Shouto stares at him incredulously, but Katsuki doesn’t waver.
“Does it hurt?” Katsuki finally asks.
“No.”
“Then why can’t I touch it?”
Shouto doesn’t have an answer for that.
“I’ll let you touch my scars,” Katsuki offers, beginning to take off his shirt again.
“It’s not about that,” Shouto says quickly.
“Then what is it about?” Katsuki asks, and his voice is softer this time, not so demanding,
“I… don’t know,” Shouto admits. “I guess I just think it’s ugly, and I wish it wasn’t there.”
“Well I fucking don’t!” Katsuki growls, grabbing Shouto’s wrist and pulling him to his feet.
He drags Shouto over to the mirror and stands behind him, arms wrapped tightly around him as they both look in the mirror.
“I don’t know—“
Shouto notices the look on his own face- like a deer in headlights- and that’s exactly how he feels right now as Katsuki kisses the back of his neck. He sighs as Katsuki gathers strands of red and white hair, pulling them back and away from Shouto’s face. Shouto blushes and turns away from the mirror, staring down at the floor until Katsuki lifts his chin and holds it there, forcing him to look at his reflection.
“You’re fucking amazing,” Katsuki tells him, “and don’t you dare ever think otherwise. You think I’d have a problem? With what- a little bit of scar tissue?”
“No,” Shouto replies quietly, “but I have a problem with it.”
Katsuki turns him around so that they’re facing each other and Shouto is relieved to not be looking in the mirror any longer, but too nervous to meet his eyes.
“Just kiss me,” Katsuki says, pulling him in close and threading his fingers through his hair.
Shouto complies, his wariness slowly fading as they begin to make out and Katsuki makes no move to touch his scar. In fact, he seems to actively avoid it, and in a few minutes Shouto has nearly forgotten about the whole ordeal. He doesn’t remember going back to the bed, yet somehow that’s where they are, and he slides his hands up under Katsuki’s shirt to caress soft skin as he pulls Katsuki down on top of him.
“Close your eyes,” Katsuki instructs, and Shouto gives him a look of suspicion.
“Why?” he wants to know.
“Just do it.”
Even though his voice is gentle, it comes out as a command, and Shouto bristles just a little at being told what to do.
“Please,” Katsuki adds, and Shouto is floored because that’s a word that- as far as he knows- has never left Katsuki’s mouth, and it seems so out of character.
Not sure how to feel, Shouto closes his eyes.
“Good,” Katsuki whispers. “Now stay that way, and don’t move.”
Shouto’s heart skips a beat at the praise, and he does his best to stay still. He flinches when he feels Katsuki’s fingertips tracing the edges of his scar.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” Katsuki soothes, and Shouto feels like there are butterflies in his stomach.
It’s just a small touch and doesn’t last long. It ends with Katsuki leaning forward and placing a single soft kiss under Shouto’s left eye, and then using the pad of his thumb to wipe away the dampness from tears Shouto didn’t know were there.
“Everything about you is beautiful,” Katsuki says quietly. “One day I’ll help you see that.”
He claims Shouto’s mouth and they continue where they left off. To Shouto’s relief, Katsuki drops the issue and doesn’t try to touch his scar again. However, Shouto silently vows that if it happens again, he won’t push him away next time.