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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of Mammon Depression Train
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Published:
2022-03-07
Completed:
2022-03-15
Words:
18,166
Chapters:
10/10
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71
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ただただ生きるのは嫌だ

Summary:

Mammon-Centric Angst^^

A plotted life on how Mammon is nice but it's all about his fucked up life.

Mammon stared at Barbatos who made tea. "Hey Barbs..."

Barbatos placed the tea pot down and looked at Mammon with utmost softness. "Yes, Mammon?"

Mammon hugged the couch pillow in Diavolo's castle lounge. "Is there... Any timeline where Lilith was alive instead of me?"

DrUgZ

Chapter 1: 1 そして私はまだ生きていた

Chapter Text

Mammon.

A name he wished everyone would just address him as. Not "Scumbag". Not "Idiot". Not "Stupid". Not "Good for nothin' second-born bastard." Not "Scummy". Not "Scum." Not any other name. Just Mammon. Not the Avatar of Greed. Not the Second-born. A name he always wanted to hear with nothing negative coming along with it.

Death tasted like fresh cherry wine just out of the fridge on a Friday midnight, where he'd be up in the trees with the company of his crows singing like fresh dew-birds in the morning. Death was a friend, a companion who would teach him things beyond what he has now.

Dreams are tardy visitors. They rarely make an appearance when Mammon needs them, their cousin, Nightmares always finds time to keep him company though. Dreams were hard to reach especially when you have no covenant to hold.

Mammon, a name he has. A name the Father gave him. A name Lilith last said before she went. A name he carries along with a tarnished reputation.

"Mammon."

Lucifer, always has got to be those angry red eyes, looking down on him with shame.

"You've stolen, not one, but two! Two royal treasures!" His voice was loud and painful to Mammon's heart.

"Lol, such a greedy scum." A tease coming from the third brother who sat by the dinner table, not eating but playing on his D.D.D.

"Seriously Mammon, Lucifer's face will get all old if you keep staying as an idiot. Grow up, will you?"

Asmodeus was one to talk.

"I always have to cover up for you, next time your punishment will be harsher than hanging upside down!"

Mammon looked down, eyes pasted to the ground when small sheep hoof landed on his lap.

"MC..."

"MC, stop sympathizing with Mammon will you? He's a scum, just focus on my beauty instead!" Asmodeus chimed yet they still looked at Mammon.

"Thank you, MC."

Mammon smiled at them, softly, before placing a hand on their head.

"I'm not hungry. Beelzebub, you can have my food." Mammon stood up, leaving the room.

Beelzebub didn't feel right in the stomach. He doesn't know what happened but his stomach suddenly stopped it's gluttonous desires.

"Mams..."

"Roflmao! He's running away cause Lucifer scolded him again! Seriously, what a coward." Leviathan leaned back into his seat.

"MC, a word." Satan, the fourth-born, stood up and walked over towards them.

"Where do you think you're going with MC, Satan? We're still in the middle of supper."

Satan emotionlessly smiled before MC stood up and followed him.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

Satan sat on the couch, MC fiddling right infront of them.

"You heard that, didn't you?"

MC tilted their head.

"He called Beel, Beelzebub."

MC nodded looking at the direction of the hallway.

"Do you want to talk to them?"

MC shook their head.

"What do you suggest we do, MC?"

MC first met Mammon, who, well was rude at first but as soon as time flew. They realized just how much beauty is inside of Mammon's heart, despite the Greed.

"I don't particularly mind but if you want us to wait, we can wait for Mams..."

Satan looked at MC with embarrassed eyes.

"Of course I care for them! He-..." Satan stopped when his voice cracked.

"He... I hated them because of the others but..." His eyes grew angry, wrath clearly present which made MC weary.

"I care for Mammon too, and so do you MC. You know them better than we do."

MC's eyes squinted into a smile.

"As expected of you, MC. If so then, I'll with you to attend with Mammon."

MC got down and started squadelling to Mammon's room.

"Are you going to check on them?"

MC nodded before they continued walking.

"Let me walk with you there."

MC jumped before they hastily fastened their steps.

"Eager?"

MC nodded, now reaching Mammon's room.

"Mammon?" Satan called out, knocking on the door.

"Mammon, it's me and MC." Satan knocked again, looking down on the doorknob.

"MC, how about you try?"

Satan frowned. "Is he still not responding?"

"Mammon? Mammon are you in there?" Satan rattled the doorknob, causing the door to swing open.

"Mammon- MAMMON!"

Satan and MC ran towards Mammon, passed out by the bathroom door. Satan quickly turned him to his back, leaning down to feel his breath.

"MC! Can you call- No, don't call them. You know that one compartment in the bathroom, there should be uh- uh- human smelling salts in there!"

MC nodded before they squadelled away. Satan looked down on Mammon, who had his shirt half lifted.

"What...?" Satan lifted Mammon's shirt, just besides to his pact with MC was black ink spreading from his stomach up to his chest. There were gold outlines that bled like poured metal unto his skin, making him bleed.

"Mammon! Mammon, can you hear me? Mams!" Satan called, shaking Mammon.

MC came back holding the medicine kit with both hands, nearly tripping on a metal object that was on the floor.

"Thank you, MC." Satan's hand shuffled around the kit, finding nothing but other basic supplies for cleaning wounds and cold tablets.

"Why are there none?!"

Satan glared as he got unto his feet, picking Mammon up with his strength.

"MC, can you inspect the room?"

Satan smiled as he tucked Mammon up, not after he cleaned the piled up clothes on his bed though. His room was a mess, all things in places they shouldn't be.

"MC? What are you looking at?" Satan stood up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom.

His heart fell down to his stomach, burning into it's acid as it bubbled up into puke, wanting to escape his throat. It made him suffocate and gag like a noose tightly tied around his neck, cutting his breath like there was piss entering his nostrils.

"Mams..."

The bathroom was filled with missing kitchen knives, used bandages with blood and the toilet bowl was filled with un-flushed blood and puke. The mirror was cracked and glass pieces fell to the sink, the floor was filled with a sea of emptied bottles of alcohol, nothing but a torn up picture of himself scattered into pieces. Satan wasn't dumb to not blame himself for what this is. Satan was not dumb to not know what this is.

"Mams..." He ran back to the bed, removing the jacket Mammon always wore.

"B-Blood..."

Mammon's wrist was nothing but torn up paper with over flowing silver flavored red paint. His shoulder was filled with the same scars that healed but never disappeared. His shirt, lifted to show the thin waist where the bones that cracked, pierced through it like blade coming from the insides.

"T-this black- This black thing is consuming them! MC did you know about this?! Did you know and not tell us?!"

Satan picked MC up, his demon form out in wrath.

"Did you know this and didn't tell me?!"

Satan gasped at his action, retreating his hand back as MC fell to the ground, catching their breath.

"I'm sorry! MC, are you okay?" He knelt down, helping MC seat back up.

"I'm sorry, I let my anger get to me I-"

Satan suddenly felt a sting in his stomach.

"Urgh..."

He chuckled before looking at MC.

"I'm fine, it's Mammon we should be worrying about."

MC got on the bed, holding Mammon's hand.

"We can't tell Lucifer about this, not that he would care. He'd just..."

Satan looked at MC.

"I know Lucifer would care but he'd just say Mammon is being over dramatic with their self harming! He'd just say Mammon is watching too much negative stuff, he listens too much and he'd just say it's all Mammon's own fault for their stupidity."

Satan held unto Mammon's jacket.

"Lucifer is too prideful to care about them, for now. It's our duty to look over them, okay?"

Satan smiled before sitting down. "He needs to eat more... And sleep more... It's as if he was up praying every night night."

He chuckled, closing his eyes.

"Mammon..." Satan scoffed as he looked away.

"I know I say stuff but..."

He snarled, baring his teeth at MC.

"Okay Fine I call them a scum. I hated them." He looked at his palm.

"I hate Mammon. But he..."

He glared at MC's direction.

"Okay now you know me! Yes I now care cause he's being all this but I always cared for Mams! It's just that I don't want to be treated the way he is treated now by sticking to them. Sure our pranks go way to far to hurt their feelings but I never thought about this. I'm supposed to be smart and all but..."

Satan exhaled. "I know you're sympathizing with me right now but I'm serious, MC. I know we're in fault here. We make you choose all of us when we know you like Mammon more. We're selfish."

He stood up, looking around the room.

"Let's look for things here... Maybe we can see more stuff that will tell us about Mammon's situation." He smiled, placing the jacket on MC.

"Happy?" A scoff leaving his mouth.

Hours later, the room was cleaner than Belphegor's attic. Grimms were placed in a jar next to Mammon's bed, they were probably over a million or more. There were also bad things they found... Starting with the good things, there were the baby clothes of Satan just by his drawer. MC teased him and nearly needed Barbatos to time travel again. There were also little photo albums of their family and MC. Most of them were baby Satan's though. MC resurrecting for the third time. There were also detailed sketches of all the brothers. Now going to the bad things.

Sharp objects were not a surprise but a rope sure was. There were sleeping pills he bought but never used. A picture of the whole family with his face burned out of the picture. And a notebook. A notebook of prayers. Prayers against greed.

Satan damn well knows Prayers can and will harm any demon if their specific sin gets called out but a demon praying it on their sin... What kind of Lunatic would do that?!

"MC... Burn these."

Satan glared at them.

"I don't care if Mammon will get angry! Get these prayers away from them!"

MC took the prayers as they squadelled to the fireplace, tossing it in.

"I will go to the Purgatory hall and... Possibly have a talk with Simeon and Luke about this."

Satan stood by the door, waving at MC.

"Take care of them, MC. Make sure he eats when he wakes up."