Chapter Text
Since they’d started spending time together as teammates, Charles had been eyeing Carlos in a way that could only be described as flirty. He’d been touching Carlos a lot too – pats on the shoulder and knocking into him as he laughed. He brushed a hand to Carlos’s back as they walked side by side or patted his leg when they sat next to each other, his expression inviting. But Carlos shook his head, still smiling. He had expected Charles to be more withdrawn after losing Sebastian as a teammate but maybe this was logical too. Charles definitely flirted more when Sebastian was nearby to see it.
So Carlos waited until he was alone with Charles, it took some time because always there was a PR person with them. But it happened as they waited in the Ferrari motorhome, hanging out in Charles’s room. Carlos began unwrapping the length of cloth that was tied around his left bicep.
“Mate, what are you doing?” Charles asked in surprise.
Carlos focused on the cloth, “I think this will help us to start as teammates properly.”
He paused though, “This will not offend you, seeing my soulmark? Is it a bad thing in Monaco?"
Charles laughed, “No, no, it’s not against the rules.”
Carlos nodded and finally tugged the cloth free, turning his arm to bare the inside. There, etched on his bicep, was his soulmark. It was simple; black lines forming what was almost a bow shape. There was something playful about it, it made Carlos smile. Now he switched his gaze to Charles.
“You do not have to show me yours, of course. But I assume we are not soulmates?”
Charles shook his head and undid the cloth around his right wrist. His mark was a little more intricate, with two curling segments that became one. It definitely did not match Carlos’s. Carlos smiled with a nod, he wasn’t disappointed. It wouldn’t have been a hardship to be Charles’s soulmate, they got along well, but Carlos felt no connection to him beyond friendship. He re-tied the cover over his mark.
“Okay, I know you did not do this with Lando,” commented Charles, amused as he covered up his own soulmark. “But maybe you did with Max?”
Carlos laughed now, a harder triumphant sound instead of a happy one, “Yes, I did”
Charles’s eyebrows raised, “Oh yes?”
“His father,” Carlos said simply.
He didn’t know how much Charles knew about Jos Verstappen and the way he’d once controlled Max’s life. It was all Max’s business, especially as Jos no longer was permitted to enter any paddock when his son was part of the grid. Charles looked understanding though.
“His father asked you to show Max your soulmark?”
It was the sort of thing Jos could have tried, if it had suited his purpose. But Carlos shook his head, “No. It was my choice and Jos has never seen my mark.”
“So you showed Max, and were broken-hearted when he was not your soulmate.”
Charles kicked Carlos’s foot lightly, his face teasing. Carlos kicked Charles back and shook his head.
“Yes, very broken-hearted. I am still grieving while Max is so happy with Daniel. Why could it not be me?”
Charles laughed, “Let it out, Carlos. You can tell me, you’re crying on the inside, yes?”
Carlos laughed too, “Yes, as soon as Max looked at Daniel, I have never been happy again.”
He had been very happy for Max, seeing the instant connection between him and Daniel. Carlos had been one of the first people Max had told about his soulmate. Carlos had told him to tell Christian and to get their marks registered legally as soon as possible, before his father found out. Jos had been barred from the paddock shortly after, when he had tried threatening Daniel, fighting anyone else's influence on Max’s life.
“So you were looking for happiness with me?” asked Charles, touching the cover of his own soulmark, his face definitely flirty again.
Carlos pointedly kicked him again, “I was looking to show you I am not your soulmate and that you should stop flirting with me.”
Charles bit his lip, halfway through a smile, “We don’t need to be soulmates to flirt, Carlos.”
Carlos smiled too, his eyes challenging, “You don’t need to especially flirt with me when we see Sebastian.”
Charles’s expression dimmed, “I don’t especially flirt with you when he is-.”
“You do,” Carlos insists, still smiling, his eyes still challenging. “And I think you have not shown him your soulmark.”
Charles’s eyes flashed with something then, his mouth as challenging as Carlos’s gaze, “Like you have not shown Lando yours?”
Carlos’s smile flattened out, a silent pain squeezing his heart, just as there was a knock at the door. They were taken to their next media event, and then another, and another, and they smiled and laughed together, the way they had always managed on camera and in front of other people. There was a wariness now when they made eye contact though - I know your secret, you know mine. It was perhaps like knowing who someone’s soulmate was before they did.
Carlos heard Lando laugh outside the McLaren motorhome and immediately looked over. Lando was tipping his head back, Charlotte was rolling her eyes, looking at something on her phone. Lando looked so happy, his forearm bound with cloth and his eyes dancing. Carlos’s fingers twitched but he had learned, after months and months, how to not act on his impulse to just walk over to Lando, wrap his arms around his former teammate and breathe ‘mine’ into the shell of his ear. He didn’t have to stay apart from him though.
He slipped over, Lando was distracted and Charlotte didn’t give Carlos away, laughing when Carlos managed to quickly hit Lando in the balls before running off. Lando shouted and followed, trying to catch up for revenge. The way he kicked Carlos was very different to Charles’s kicks.
“I’m evening the score!” Carlos told Lando, as Lando turned at Charlotte calling him back.
“You’re still way behind,” Lando replied, grinning as he headed off.
Carlos enjoyed watching him leave, until he saw Charles greet Lando with a friendly smile and a long friendly touch to his arm. Then Charles’s teasing challenging smirk landed on Carlos. The next time Carlos saw Sebastian in the paddock, he went over for a lingering conversation, just enough into the Aston Martin driver’s personal space to make Charles’s watching gaze narrow. Carlos smirked back, he was evening this score as well.
///
After that, it was perhaps no surprise that Charles did actually stop flirting with Carlos. And Carlos noted how much Charles looked at Sebastian, tensing under his media smiles when he noticed that Carlos watching. Charles looked pointedly at Carlos whenever he saw Carlos and Lando talking together too. But Carlos always looked back with his own challenge when he saw Charles lighting up around Sebastian.
“Why haven’t you talked to Lando?” Charles asked one day when they had a moment to eat lunch together, nodding at where Carlos’s soulmark was covered.
Carlos raised his eyebrows bemused, because it was so obvious, “If I had shown him my soulmark and we had not been soulmates, we would have still been teammates. It would have ruined everything."
“You showed me your soulmark and we’re still teammates.”
Carlos opened his mouth and saw Charles’s smug look, because of course Carlos was going to say that that was different and Charles knew it. Carlos bit into his sandwich, not giving Charles the satisfaction of an answer for a long moment.
“But if Lando didn’t want us to be soulmates,” Carlos said at last, imagining again as he had so many times, Lando’s awkward embarrassment and how it would have affected everything between them afterwards. Carlos’s heart hurt and he rubbed over where his soulmark lay. “Everything would have been gone.”
“Because you want to be his soulmate.”
Carlos raised his eyebrows now. He could play this game too, “Like you want to be Sebastian’s.”
Charles’s gaze immediately darted away. He wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed though, Carlos could only see frustration and pain in his teammate’s eyes. He let the silence settle between them, finishing his sandwich. Eventually, Charles drained his drink and sighed, looking very weary all of a sudden.
“He and Kimi are soulmates. It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“He could still be your soulmate, I know you have trios in Monaco.”
Carlos had seen many groups there bearing identical marks. Charles waved a hand, “Of course, but I can’t just assume it is true for us or that it is what Sebastian wants.”
It was so opposite of Charles’s usual behaviour, Carlos had to laugh, “But it might be, it might be why he and Kimi still keep their marks covered.”
“No, that’s because they are private people.”
Carlos acknowledged that with a nod. Even if Seb and Kimi were a pair meant only for each other, they would keep their marks covered. It didn’t help Charles, who looked truly miserable. It was the first time Carlos had ever seen that look on his face, it didn’t suit him at all. He tapped his foot against Charles’s.
“Sebastian is kind though. If you show him, he will not be terrible or embarrassed. He will be pleased, I think.”
Charles laughed now, though it was a pained sound, “What if one of them doesn’t want to be part of a trio though? I don’t want to hurt what he already has.”
The fact that Charles was so unselfishly making Sebastian’s happiness a priority told Carlos how deeply in love his teammate was. Carlos knew that feeling himself, he thought about Lando’s smile and how badly it could turn upset. Now, he rested his foot against Charles’s.
“I don’t want to affect Lando’s season,” he said quietly. “That, and our friendship, I don’t want to hurt what we have.”
What they had was very precious to Carlos, it was too much to risk on a possibility. Charles nodded, hearing the echo of his own trouble. His expression turned more familiarly wicked though, “Flirting is a good distraction though.”
Carlos grinned, “You think only of me as a distraction, this is why we are not soulmates.”
“But we could have fun, we won't hurt each other this way, we know we are not marked for each other.”
Carlos shook his head. Charles was right; it would be fun, but he also knew that he and Charles wouldn't be really happy together, not with how they felt about Lando and Sebastian. They would end up resenting each other, he could see that clearly.
"I don't want to damage Ferrari, or for this to stop being fun," he replied, gesturing between them.
And it was fun, a very different kind of fun than being teammates with Lando, but Carlos was enjoying himself and he didn’t wish for that to change. Charles looked oddly touched and nodded, "Okay, yes, agreed. But flirting could make other people jealous…”
Carlos immediately shook his head, rolling his eyes. Not this again, “What do you watch that makes you think it is a good idea? Do you want to explain to your family why the media will talk about this instead of your racing? No flirting for jealousy, or for anything else.”
He held out a hand and Charles sighed dramatically, but they shook hands with comic seriousness, grins splitting their expressions a moment later. Everything felt settled as they finished their lunches, waiting for when they would next be needed. There was a text from Lando then that made Carlos smile, a picture that was supposed to be an example of what the Ferrari car had been like during free practice. It featured some kind of animal rolling up into a ball and sort of sliding off the road. Carlos grinned at the insult, it wasn’t too inaccurate. He sent back a GIF of a dancing papaya with little cartoon eyes. It was the sort of thing they sent each other when they were teammates.
He missed these times with Lando, the media times when they only had each other for company.
“Oh my God, it's so obvious when you're thinking about him!" Charles laughed. "Your face is like this when you talk to him too, how have you two not talked about this yet?"
Carlos’s smile twisted, a pain that he didn’t like thinking about twisting deep inside of him, “If it is this obvious, maybe he doesn’t want to talk about it, because he does not want me for a soulmate.”
Charles rolled his eyes and shook his head, but raised his cup like a toast, “To our former teammates, may they never find out.”
Carlos lifted his cup too, his smile starting to untwist, “Salute!”
“Salute.”
They knocked their cups together and drank. The silence between them after that was settled and companionable in a different way than before. Carlos scrolled through his social media, Charles’s foot tapped against his in changing rhythms. Whenever Carlos recognised the song, he tapped back. He took a selfie of the two of them together and sent it to Lando, claiming they were planning their next golf game with him. Lando didn’t reply for a few hours, and then only sent a string of golf emojis. Carlos frowned but couldn’t say why.