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4:30am.
Every Saturday.
Without fail.
Mo Ran’s alarm goes off and he pulls himself out of bed. It’s not that Mo Ran likes waking up so early, he actually rather hates it. It’s just that the absurdly early hours of the day is the only time Mo Ran has to himself. He works almost everyday, he lives in cheap housing that means he rotates through more housemates and roommates in a year than most people do in their lives, and what little free time he might have he spends visiting his Auntie and Uncle and cousin several hours away as a desperate attempt to feel human connection.
This is why every Saturday Mo Ran wakes up at 4:30am and drives to a random park to run or hike or just admire nature and be alone with his thoughts.
But this morning is rough. It’s cold and raining while his bed, although bumpy, is warm and inviting. But Mo Ran knows that without his weekly adventure he’ll be bitter all week. So he pulls on a supposedly rainproof jacket and his hiking boots and drives to a mountain hiking trail he heard someone mention offhandedly a few weeks ago.
It takes Mo Ran a few loops on the road to find the trailhead. It’s clearly not a well used trail, but that’s exactly what he wants. While he loves being around people, he prefers not to be in crowded areas on his alone time hikes. On the small shoulder along the road is a single white car which Mo Ran parks directly behind. He then gathers his things, pulls out a flashlight and begins jogging up the overgrown path.
Mo Ran jogs in the dark and the rain for twenty minutes. When he finally slows down to take a breather and drink some water down he notices a faint light far off the path. Thinking about how slippery the path is and the car at the trailhead a faint twinge of worry grows in Mo Ran’s heart. Perhaps the light is a person who was hiking too and got hurt, maybe they had been stuck in the rain all night. He already knows there’s no cell service here so if the person really is hurt they would have had no means for calling for help.
“Hey!” Mo Ran shouts from the path hoping they’re conscious and fine. But there’s no response, even when he calls again. That anxiety grows in his chest as he hurries off the path towards that faint light.
What Mo Ran finds is not what he expected.
A man dressed entirely in white rain gear sits under a tiny black umbrella. A single headlamp lights up the overflowing open binder he’s desperately trying to both fill out and protect from the rain. His tongue is out ever so slightly as he flips the leaf of a vine over again and again and scowls before writing in his binder some more. Next to his side is a backpack that seems as though it’s far too large for such a lean person. Mo Ran can see the rain pouring directly off the umbrella into its unzipped compartment. He internally cringes hoping the man doesn't keep paper or electronics in there.
“Hello? Um, you’re backpack is unzipped.”
The man doesn't look up. Instead there’s a bright flash as he takes a picture of the questionable leaf. Mo Ran slowly continues forward. When his feet enter the man’s range of vision the man visibly jumps in shock, smacking his head into a tree before looking up at Mo Ran towering over him. He glares up at Mo Ran as he pulls small headphones out of his ears.
“What?”
Mo Ran smiles despite the man’s irritated tone. He’s quite struck how even in the unflattering light of a headlamp he’s quite handsome. “I was just hiking and saw your light and wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”
The man turns back to his binder. “Well, I am. Thank you. You may go now.”
“Um,”
The man glances back up, his phoenix eyes piercing through Mo Ran. Even if he looks irritated there’s something in his eyes that tells Mo Ran that he’s actually a good person. As though trying to contradict Mo Ran he snaps, “Do you need something? I’m on a deadline so unless I can help you with something please return to your hike.”
“It’s just that your backpack is open and it’s getting all wet.” The man looks at his bag, his lips parting in a silent gasp of horror. “I have a bigger umbrella, if you need one. I can even hold it for you until you’ve done what you needed to so you don’t need to curl up under that tiny one.”
Without waiting for a response Mo Ran opens the giant umbrella he’s been using as a walking stick and holds it out over the man and all his things. “I’m Mo Ran, by the way. What’s your name?”
“Chu Wanning. And I’ll be here for several hours. You can go.”
“It’s fine. I set aside several hours for my hike. Unless, you’re saying you don’t want me here?” Chu Wanning doesn’t respond so Mo Ran takes that as permission to stay. He shifts his weight so he’s on more even ground and prepares to stand over this man for several hours. At first he tries to stay silent as he sees the detailed notes the man is taking but Mo Ran is Mo Ran and if there’s ears to listen he will run his mouth.
“What are you working on?”
“I’m surveying plant life populations.”
“Any reason why?”
“It’s my job.”
“So what do you do, Chu Wanning?”
Chu Wanning glances up at Mo Ran and Mo Ran smiles down. He’s realizing that while Chu Wanning’s answers are always short he will reply politely to each question. “I work in environmental conservation. I study the spread of invasive species.”
The pair remain side by side in a mix of long silences and questions for the next two hours. As the sun is rising Mo Ran glances at his watch. “Shit. I’m so sorry, Wanning, but I need to go. My shift starts soon and I need to change clothes.”
“Chu Wanning. And it’s fine. You were never obligated to stay. Be careful hiking down the mountain, it gets slippery.”
“Of course, Chu Wanning.” Mo Ran pauses. It’s only been two hours but he decided after only five minutes he needs to see more of this man. “Are you working on this path next weekend? Can I come hold an umbrella for you then too.”
“No.”
Mo Ran’s heart drops. It was so abrupt that he wasn’t expecting it. He at least expected a ‘I won’t be back on this path’ if he was rejected. Instead it was a sharp, cold ‘No.’ Even though Mo Ran’s heart is a little broken at the response he still sets his umbrella over the man’s backpack to keep it dry as he says his goodbye and walks back towards the trail.
“Wait!”
Mo Ran spins around, impossibly hopeful that the man changed his mind.
“You forgot your umbrella.”
“Um,” Mo Ran was always planning on leaving his umbrella with Chu Wanning. He’s already soaked through and shivering anyways so what’s a walk to the car in the rain. “It’s fine. I have another one in my car. You can keep it. You could use a bigger one anyways.”
Chu Wanning either sees through his lie or doesn’t want him to walk 20 minutes down the mountain in the pouring rain. He stands up and delivers his tiny umbrella to Mo Ran after Mo Ran refuses his own back several times. He finally insists “Just take it. You’re already late.”
And so Mo Ran walks down the mountain with a tiny umbrella in hand, regretting meeting such a handsome man in the woods only because he’ll never see him again.
But he does at least form a plan on the long lonely walk. As soon as he returns to his car he digs around for any paper he can find until he finds an old grocery receipt. He cringes a little glancing at how it reveals how little he can afford to spend on food, but even so he grabs a pen and writes as neatly as he can, which again he cringes at how very much not neat his handwriting is, and writes a quick note with his name and phone number. He then tucks it into the umbrella and leaves it on the hood of Chu Wanning’s car. He knows it’s a long shot, that the rain might wash off the ink or turn the receipt into mush, or Chu Wanning might just not want to call, but he absolutely could not leave without leaving something.
But Chu Wanning doesn’t call.
Mo Ran returns the following Saturday and Chu Wanning’s little white car is parked on the shoulder again, but Mo Ran doesn’t see his little headlamp guiding him through the darkness.
The same for the following Saturday.
And the following.
On the fourth Saturday the only sign that Chu Wanning wasn’t a ghost in the woods that one rainy morning is his car once again. Once again Mo Ran doesn’t see him. Once again Mo Ran descends the mountain with just enough time to get to work.
Mo Ran cries out in despair as he turns the key once again. His engine sputters weakly before giving up. Mo Ran gives up too and throws his head onto the steering wheel. He knows this car is too old and shouldn’t even be on the road anymore, but he really can’t afford anything else. And now he’s trapped on the side of the road with no cell service about to be late to work. The only person who might possibly come rescue him is Chu Wanning, who despite the car parked right in front of him, he’s beginning to truly believe was a phantom of the night.
Mo Ran sits in his car shivering from his coat being completely soaked through for another two hours. By this point he feels absolutely hopeless. Not a single car has passed this desolate road. He’s so late to his job that he’s certain Mrs. Mo is going to fire him. And to add to it all he’s starving. He didn’t eat breakfast before leaving and skipped dinner last night to afford gas to visit the mountain today. It’s enough to make Mo Ran finally break down and wallow in self pity.
A single sharp rap sounds on his passenger window. Mo Ran looks up to see those phoenix eyes and furrowed brows peering through the window, protected by an oversized umbrella. Without much dignity Mo Ran leans across the passenger seat and unrolls the window with a teary smile. “Hi.”
Chu Wanning looks around before leaning closer to the window. “What are you doing here?”
“I was hiking again.”
“But what are you still doing here? I thought your work starts at 8?”
His offhand comment makes Mo Ran smile a little that he actually remembered what time Mo Ran’s work started despite talking over a month ago. “It does. But my car won’t start and there’s no one here to help me.”
Chu Wanning pauses for a moment surveying Mo Ran’s car whose front fender is literally held on with duct tape. It takes a lot to make Mo Ran feel ashamed but in this moment he does. This handsome man can plainly see how Mo Ran lives even if he only sees the shitty car. Mo Ran feels small and pitiful and dirty next to this man so beautiful and pristine dressed in all white that he could be an immortal.
“Gather what you need and come on.”
Mo Ran sits in disbelief as Chu Wanning walks back towards his car. Only when Chu Wanning looks back does Mo Ran grab his coat and wallet and keys and hurry to Chu Wanning’s car. He stops at the passenger door without getting in.
“What’s the hold up?”
“It’s just,” Mo Ran kicks his own heel looking down at his boots. “I’m all wet, and muddy. And your car is so nice.” Mo Ran doesn’t want his own filth to rub off onto Chu Wanning. But Chu Wanning just glowers at him and insists, “Hurry up and get in.”
As the pair drive down the road Mo Ran is unusually silent. He’s staring at his phone waiting for the flood of messages the second they come within service. And he’s right. There’s several missed calls and texts. The final text is from Mrs. Mo:
If you can’t be a half decent employee I can’t work with you any longer. Don’t bother coming in tomorrow.
Mo Ran throws his head back and covers his eyes with his arm. He has exactly $6 to his name. His only saving grace is he just paid rent for the month and won’t be homeless. Yet. Mo Ran tries as hard as he can not to cry again. Even if Chu Wanning has seen his shitty car he doesn't want to admit anything is wrong. But even so his breaths come on in shuttering attempts to sound normal and he knows that Chu Wanning can tell something is happening.
After a while of driving Chu Wanning asks, “Where do you live? I can drop you off.”
Mo Ran doesn’t want to say it but he has no friends whose addresses he can offer instead, so without looking at Chu Wanning he recites his address. After a moment of silence with his arm still draped over his face, Mo Ran adds, “It’s fine if you don’t want to go near my neighborhood. I wouldn’t either. Just drop me off and I can take a bus.”
Mo Ran is glad he can’t see Chu Wanning’s face. He can only hear as the man replies flatly, “It’s not that. It’s just, how about we get breakfast first?”
Mo Ran laughs flatly. He can’t spend his last $6 eating out. Instead he replies, “No. I don’t want you to lose your job too.”
“... You lost your job?”
Mo Ran waves his phone in the hand covering his eyes as confirmation. He knows he must looks absolutely pitiful right now but he’s beyond the point of caring. He’d rather Chu Wanning just drop him off somewhere so he can find a library or something to spend the rest of his day.
Chu Wanning keeps driving in silence before awkwardly saying, “I’m working from home for the rest of the day. If you want you can use my internet to look for a new job.” Feeling defeated Mo Ran nods in agreement.
Only when they drive up to a small house on a rural drive does Mo Ran realize that Chu Wanning just invited him into his home. Mo Ran stares at Chu Wanning in disbelief that he would see such a hopeless and miserable person and actually offer to help rather than shuffle away hoping not to be noticed.
While the outside of the house is pristine and surrounded by the beautiful plantlife one would expect of a botanist, the inside is a mess. Papers and tools and clothes and who knows what else scatter every surface and across the floor. Chu Wanning turns to Mo Ran, clearly uncomfortable with a stranger entering his home and him a change of clothes and use of the shower. It only makes Mo Ran feel worse, as though he’s forcing himself onto Chu Wanning.
“Um, Thank you, Chu Wanning. I promise I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible.”
Chu Wanning mutters, “It’s fine.” before scurrying away, but Mo Ran doesn’t miss the way the tips of his ears turn red.
Mo Ran takes as quick of a shower as possible. He’s used to cold showers, so he’s surprised when the water turns warm quickly. He’s also much more appreciative than he should be for the fact that the water is clear rather than rust colored. Mo Ran then dries off and changes into the clothes Chu Wanning handed him, simple sweats and a tshirt, both a bit too tight.
Mo Ran walks out of the bathroom holding his soaked clothes asking, “Sorry to bother you more, but do you have a plastic bag I can toss these clothes into?”
Chu Wanning is in the kitchen looking at his computer with a very confused expression, the browser opened to a rice stirfry recipe. His expression immediately shifts to shock and his cheeks turn red when he sees Mo Ran rounding the corner. As quickly as he can he spins back around to the stove and replies in an extremely even voice, “The washer and dryer are in the hall closet.” So Mo Ran throws his clothes in the dry and returns to the kitchen to sit at the table.
Until he sees Chu Wanning begging to cut himself. Mo Ran cringes seeing him trying to peel ginger with a knife. “Hey,” he says, standing up and walking behind Chu Wanning. “Why don’t I cook and you can work? I promise I’m a good cook.” Chu Wanning nods in assent and hurries back to the table to enter his morning’s work into endless tables.
The pair talk lightly while Chu Wanning works and Mo Ran cooks. They then eat lunch in which Chu Wanning explains how he’s studying the spread and working on the removal of a recently introduced invasive vine on the mountain. Mo Ran can barely follow what he’s saying, but it is interesting and Chu Wanning is too handsome to look away from so he’s happy to sit and stare and listen.
After they’re done eating and Mo Ran washing all the dishes, not just the ones their meal dirtied, Chu Wanning offers Mo Ran his computer to look at job listings. Mo Ran uncomfortably looks at the screen before admitting, “There really isn’t much use. I don’t even have a GED. The only jobs I can really get are in restaurants and those don’t really post online. I’ll just ask around tomorrow.”
Chu Wanning takes his computer back looking as though he’s unsure what to say to a muddy man with no education whose broken car is held together with duct tape. Just as Mo Ran says, “I really appreciate everything, but I should leave you in peace now.” Chu Wanning says, “I could hire you, for today at least.”
Mo Ran stares at Chu Wanning while Chu Wanning panic shows in his eyes as he looks to find a reason to leave the room because of his offer. But Mo Ran speaks first, exclaiming, “I would love that! What do you want me to do? I can do whatever you need!”
Chu Wanning looks even more awkward as he looks around for something Mo Ran can do. “I, um, you can tidy the house?” Mo Ran grins as he sees the flush of embarrassment spreading from Chu Wanning’s cheeks across his entire face.
“I would love to!”
Mo Ran spends the rest of the day cleaning Chu Wanning’s kitchen. At the end of the day Chu Wanning drives him home, hands him $100, and face more red than when he first suggested Mo Ran working for him, asks if Mo Ran would like to join Chu Wanning’s morning survey and help clean the house again tomorrow, paid of course.
And so for the next month, every other day Mo Ran is picked up at 5am to hike with Chu Wanning through the woods and returns to help clean or enter information into the endless tables while Chu Wanning writes reports.
After the second month of this Chu Wanning breaks the silence of concentration without looking up at Mo Ran. “It would be much more convenient in the mornings if you lived closer, since you still don’t have a car.”
Mo Ran nods in agreement. “It would be, but it’s fine. I can’t afford moving out right now. Or a new car. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I can pay you back for driving me, or take a taxi. And for all the food I’ve been eating while I’m over.”
Chu Wanning frowns as though that’s not what he meant by his comment, but Mo Ran can’t think of anything else. Well, he can, but he wouldn’t dare ask to move in with the beautiful man who is essentially his boss. Besides, Mo Ran has goals for their relationship and he’s afraid moving too fast will spook Chu Wanning.
And so the subject is dropped for a little while. Chu Wanning gets Mo Ran hired by Sisheng Peak Conservation as his assistant so Mo Ran has a steadier paycheck. After two months of saving as much as he could, Mo Ran happily announces to Chu Wanning over his kitchen table, “I think I have enough saved to move out of my apartment! I promise, just give me another month to find a cheap enough place and you won’t have to drive to that neighborhood ever again.”
“Mn.” Chu Wanning doesn’t look up but continues eating the fish Mo Ran made for lunch. Mo Ran can see something going through his head but assumes it's relief not to have to drive down those streets early in the morning or late at night anymore. That is, until Chu Wanning offhandedly says as quickly as he can, “You could take the guest room.”
“What?!”
“It’s nothing. Nevermind. I think– I think I left the hose on outside.” Chu Wanning shoves his chair back and hurries towards the door but Mo Ran cuts off his route of escape.
Beaming down at Chu Wanning he asks, “Did you just offer to let me move in?” Chu Wanning just scowls and replies, “If you heard what I said why are you asking me. Just answer yes or no and let me check the hosepipe.”
Mo Ran’s heart melts at the obvious embarrassment flooding Chu Wanning at the extension of kindness. It’s just like that day he found Mo Ran broken at the side of the road. “I would love to move in with you!”
Mo Ran then does something he hasn’t done before but has been longing to for months. He leans forward and engulfs Chu Wanning in an enormous hug, announcing that he’s the best, kindest person Mo Ran has ever met. Chu Wanning stiffens at the hug but quickly relaxes. To Mo Ran’s surprise, he even awkwardly pats Mo Ran’s back rather than immediately pulling away.
The next day they move Mo Ran’s meager belongings into the spare, now Mo Ran’s, bedroom.
Several months pass of the pair working and living together.
But Mo Ran wants more. He definitely fell in love with that handsome man he found in the woods the second he laid eyes on him. He’s terrified that he’ll lose everything if Chu Wanning doesn’t feel the same way, but Mo Ran slowly comes to the conclusion that it’s worth it. Besides, he’s noticed little signs that his feelings might actually be reciprocated.
Chu Wanning has been buying spicy foods and expensive baking equipment. He leans into Mo Ran’s hugs the longer he holds them, he blushes whenever Mo Ran smiles, and most telling is the fact that whenever they sit on the couch together Chu Wanning somehow always finds his way edging closer and close to Mo Ran until Mo Ran shifts his weight so that their shoulders are touching. The final nail in the coffin of his heart is when he cleans the bookshelf and while replacing a book hidden on the top of the shelf a piece of paper falls out. It’s a convenience store receipt and on the back is a very smeared Mo Ra– and a few numbers smudged away by the rain. None of it is very much, they all might just be Chu Wanning’s kindness rather than mutual liking , but it’s enough for Mo Ran to cling onto to build his courage.
So on an evening Chu Wanning goes to the office while Mo Ran has a day off Mo Ran cooks an elaborate meal composed of everything he’s noted Chu Wanning enjoys over the past few months. He cleans the house and tends the garden. He even works to enter the previous day’s observations so Chu Wanning has no excuse to work when he gets home.
And then Mo Ran paces in anxiety holding the receipt in his hand, hoping beyond hope he’s not wrong.
When Chu Wanning arrives home late Mo Ran feels like he’s going to throw up, but even so he settles in at the table, making sure to serve Chu Wanning all the best foods first. To loosen his nerves he jokes, “I had a tiny bit of free time today, so I made some food I thought you’d like.”
“Mn. These are all good.”
Mo Ran’s heart grows a little stronger at the affirmation. He slams his eyes closed for a few seconds before staring at Chu Wanning with deep affection. “I actually found something while cleaning today.”
Unconcerned Chu Wanning asks, “Oh? What did you find?”
Mo Ran holds out the receipt that he wrote his name and number on. “I didn’t know you kept this.”
Chu Wanning just stares at the crumpled paper before his face twists. “It’s just garbage. It must have dropped out of my bag. I’ll take it and throw it away.”
As Chu Wanning reaches out to snatch it out of Mo Ran’s hand as though it’s a treasure he doesn't want seen Mo Ran grabs his wrist and clasps his warm hands around cold. “I actually like that you kept it. I thought you just threw it out after you never called, but I guess it just wasn’t rain proof.” Chu Wanning is now pointedly avoiding eye contact with Mo Ran but he can see the way his neck and ear tips are flushed red, both creeping towards his cheeks. Something tells Mo Ran that it’s okay to keep going, that if he does he has everything to gain. Something tells him Chu Wanning likes him too.
So in a moment of absolute courage Mo Ran announces, “I like you.”
Silence.
“I like you as in more than a friend. As in I want to be with you. As in I love you.”
The more Mo Ran speaks the more Chu Wanning turns red and looks anywhere but at Mo Ran, but he doesn’t leave, nor does he pull his hand away.
“But…”
“But do you like me?”
It takes a long time to convince Chu Wanning that not only does Mo Ran love him, but Chu Wanning is worthy of being loved. Only then does Chu Wanning admit that he likes Mo Ran. Only then does he let Mo Ran kiss him.
Only then do they spend the rest of their lives together.