Work Text:
Where the Sea Meets the Land
It was over. It had all ended four years ago and all the deaths of their comrades, their friends, had been for nothing.
Zeke had won. The Eldian people had been sterilized, just like Zeke had wanted it to happen. Eren had tried his best to stop him, but it was a mission destined to fail. One would think that nothing much had changed on Paradis Island, but the life of the former scouts had never been the same after the war. The dead faces of their friends, some of which had grown as close together as a family, would forever haunt the minds of those who remained alive throughout the war.
The war had scarred Levi. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. Nothing good had come out of those years of brutal fighting, murdering and mourning. Nothing good except for one thing: The love of his life in the form of Eren Jäger. At first Eren was just a mere task for Levi; a brat that he had to look out for and a boy that just so happened to become a handful for Levi. But as he watched Eren mature and grow older, he found himself genuinely liking the boy.
When Eren was nineteen and Levi was twenty-six, Eren confessed his feelings for his Captain. Levi had expected his own death to happen at some point during this war; however, dying while knowing that someone out there loved him, was at least a little less horrifying of a thought. That was when Levi and Eren got together. Together they were even more of a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield, than Levi alone already was. But no matter how much of a perfect team they were, in the end it all proved to be useless and for nothing.
-
They had eventually settled down in a small house on the coast of Paradis island after the war, just the two of them. Far away from any trouble, any fighting, politics or whatever reminded them of the terrifying years that they somehow managed to survive.
Though one thing was left haunting both of them, and that was Eren’s inevitable death.
They knew Eren’s time after inheriting the attack titan would eventually end one day. They knew Eren would die, and Levi knew he would be alone after that. Levi had already decided that he would stay alone after that. As the years had passed, they managed to push away the inevitable and try to make the most of the time they had left. Still, it was lurking over both of them, like a monster from the shadows that eventually would show itself on some beautiful day.
It was the end of August now, and Eren had gotten considerably weaker over the past few months. They knew that he probably wouldn’t be around for Levi’s birthday at the end of the year anymore. Knowing that, Levi tried his very best to make the remaining days as beautiful for Eren as he could, while also creating memories that we would be in desperate need of as soon as Eren was gone.
Summer is coming to an end, Levi thought to himself as he supported Eren with his arm wrapped around Levi’s shoulder while taking him down to the beach. It wasn’t a long walk usually, just about a minute and a half, but with Eren’s condition getting worse by the day, it dragged on and on. Eren had gotten pale and visibly weaker over the last weeks. The once so fit and energetic boy now had a hard time walking a few meters from their house to the beach. Eren’s usual bright green eyes that Levi always admired, were now dull and far away from the emerald green they used to be.
It was undeniable that Levi would soon lose the one man he loved to death.
As they finally reached the sea, Levi gently helped Eren sit down on the soft, white sand on the beach. The sun was hanging low in the sky and sunset would soon begin. Levi sat down next to Eren and watched quietly, as the boy slowly laid down on his back, placing his head in Levi’s lap.
“Thank you for taking me here. I know I’m a lot to handle right now,” Eren whispered. His voice had lost all of the strength it once had.
“Don’t you dare feel sorry,” Levi said, his chest aching. If anything, he wanted to avoid Eren feeling at all like he was too much work for Levi. “You know I’d do anything for you. And if that means taking you to your favourite spot right here, then it’s something I’m more than happy to do,” Levi tried to reassure his boyfriend, as soft, slender fingers combed through long chocolate-brown hair.
“I don’t deserve you, Levi. You deserved so much better than me,” Eren croaked, which only tightened the knot that was forming in Levi’s throat.
“Please don’t think that Eren…” Levi said trying to sound strong, as he knew that Eren was anything but strong at the moment “I wouldn’t exchange any day I’ve had with you for the world. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too. I also wouldn’t have had it any other way,” Eren said with a shaking voice. He sounded like he was holding back tears. But why? Eren had never cried over the inevitable end of his life before. So why now? “But I’m still so damn sorry for putting you through all this…” he whispered. Levi couldn’t catch what Eren was saying after that. He whispered something but his voice quieted down as he tried to speak and the upcoming wind by the shore ate up Eren’s words.
Those words were tearing Levi apart. Why was he apologizing so much now? Eren had never done that so much before.
“Please don’t say stuff like that… Let’s just not think about the future and the bad things. Let’s just be happy for now, okay?” Levi whispered as he gently brushed his hands over Eren’s pale cheek. Eren was feeling cold against his touch.
“Okay,” Eren said quietly with a small, weak smile “Can I ask you for a favour?”
“Of course. Anything for you.” Levi answered, his hand not leaving Eren’s face.
“Can you kiss me?” Eren asked. There was a shimmer of hope in his eyes, but also something else. There was also sadness and helplessness there.
Levi didn’t answer, instead he closed his eyes and placed his lips on Eren’s. They used to be so soft and warm and nothing else in this world could have caused Levi to feel the sensation he did when he felt Eren’s lips on his. But now, Eren’s lips were cold instead of warm and cracked instead of smooth. Still, that did not change the fact that it still caused the immense burning of love to boil up inside of Levi.
“Thank you, Levi. Please, don’t stop,” Eren breathed as he could feel his man’s lips on him “I love you so much, Levi…” Eren whispered against his boyfriend’s face as he felt Levi’s lips on his own again.
“I love you, too, Eren.” Levi said, as he pulled away from the second kiss, he gave Eren.
Eren never heard those words.
Eren had his eyes closed as his head still laid in Levi’s lap. They would never open again, Levi realized. It became obvious, when Eren did not answer.
A tear fell from deep grey eyes onto the pale, hollow cheek below and rolled down into long chocolate-brown hair. Levi gathered Eren’s limb body in his arms, shaky hands slowly and gently brushing over his cheeks and hair. Levi pressed Eren’s body as tightly to him as he could, as if he was trying to protect him from what had already happened. Levi’s back was trembling, as he laid his forehead onto Eren’s, tears now running freely and dripping down onto the beautiful, but lifeless face in his arms.
Levi was all alone now.
No one witnessed his silent cries.
No one heard the sound of Levi’s heart breaking apart.
No one saw Eren’s flame extinguishing as he had exhaled for the last time.
Levi was so very alone.
On August 28th, Eren Jäger had died.
***
All of that had happened two years ago on this day. For the first time since he lost the love of his life, Levi could bring himself to visit Eren’s grave that he had made for him down at the beach. Levi’s life hadn’t been the same after he saw his friends die at war. But after Eren, his man, was also taken from him, Levi had lost the last bit of light he had left in his life.
He was all alone, as he stood in front of the rectangular patch covered by small stones and shells of all shapes and colours. After all, there was no one left, who could mourn Eren with him. But honestly? He preferred it that way. He preferred to be alone with his boyfriend, rather than sharing the space with others.
“I miss you,” Levi whispered so quietly to himself, it was almost silent, as he kneeled down and gently placed a white orchid on the small dark basalt stones in the middle of the grave. A tear escaped a grey eye, soon to be joined by more, as they rolled down a pale cheek to a quivering jawline.
He tried to remember Eren. He tried to remember the last days that they had together. He tried to remember how his last kiss with Eren had felt.
But Levi couldn’t remember.
Eren had always said that even if they died, they would meet again. That was when they were still at war and wouldn’t have even considered that Eren’s time would be up in a few years. Levi had laughed that off back then.
But now, Levi wished for nothing more in this world than to meet Eren again.
He got back up and stood in front of the grave. The days weren’t as sunny as they were two years ago, but Levi didn’t mind the clouds or the strong wind. There was only one thought in his head: Eren and how Levi couldn’t remember how his last kiss had felt.
Levi’s gaze shifted from the grave of his boyfriend up to a bird in a sky that was circling over his head for a bit before it flew off towards the rough waves of the sea.
Yes, for the sake of his mind, he believed Eren’s words that they would meet again. He didn’t know where, and he didn’t know when. But if it meant that there was even the slightest chance of meeting him again, Levi would soon quit.